Our Mutual Friend

n-new house in a bran-new quarter of London. Every

rses were new, their pictures were new, they themselves were new, they were as newly married as was lawfully compatible with their having a bran-new baby, and if

n, and upstairs again to the new fire-escape, all things were in a state of high varnish and polish. And what was observable in

t be said to represent the dining-table in its normal state. Mr and Mrs Veneering, for example, arranging a dinner, habitually started with Twemlow, and then put leaves in him, or added guests to him. Sometimes, the table consisted of Twemlow and half a dozen leaves; sometimes, of Twemlow and a dozen leaves; sometimes, Twemlow was pulled out to his u

here Veneering then knew nobody but the man who made them known to one another, who seemed to be the most intimate friend he had in the world, and whom he had known two days — the bond of union between their souls, the nefarious conduct of the committee respecting the cookery of a fillet of veal, having been accidentally cemented at that date. Immediately upon this, Twemlow received an invitation to dine with Veneering, and dined: the man being of the party. Immediately upon that, Twemlow received an invitation to dine with the man, and dined: Veneering being of the party. At the man’s were a Member, an E

his hand to his forehead: ‘I must not think of this. This is enough to soften any

sted retainers in plain clothes stand in line in the hall. A fifth retainer, proceeding up the staircase with a mournful

as babies, but so old a friend must please to look at baby. ‘Ah! You will know the friend of your family better, Tootleums,’ says Mr Veneering, nodding emotionally at that new a

arful circum

nd Mis-sus

ng, with an air of much friendly interest,

shness on him, appearing with his wife, instan

ng house you have here. I hope we are not l

shoes and his neat little silk stockings of a bygone fashion, as if impelled to le

leasure of presenting Mrs Podsnap to her host. She will be,’ in his fatal freshness he seems to find p

best in the way of handsomely supporting her husband’s, by looking towards Mr Twemlow with a plaintive countenance and remarking to Mrs Ven

new worked cambric just come home, is not at all complimented by being supposed to be Twemlow, who is dry and weazen and some thirty years older. Mrs Veneering equally resents

extended hand and, smilingly assures that incorrigible personage that

ot at this moment recall where we met, but

arrival of more guests unravels the mistake. Whereupon, having re-shaken hands with Veneering as Veneering, he re-shakes hands with Twemlow as T

t themselves as to which is Veneering, until Veneering has them in his grasp; — Twemlow having profited by these studies, finds his brain wholesomely hardening as he approaches the conclusion that he really is Veneering’s oldest friend, when his brain softens again and a

is on th

o should say, ‘Come down and be poi

forehead. Boots and Brewer, thinking him indisposed, whisper, ‘Man faint. Had no

rth is in or out of town? Gives it that his cousin is out of town. ‘At Snigsworthy Park?’ Veneering inquires. ‘At Snigsworthy,’ Twemlow rejoins. Boots and Brewer regard this as a man to be cultivated; and Ven

is hairbrushes as his hair, dissolving view of red beads on his forehead, large allowance of crumpled shirt-collar up behind. Reflects Mrs Podsnap; fine woman for Professor Owen, quantity of bone, neck and nostrils like a rocking-horse, hard features, majestic head-dress in which Podsnap has hung golden offerings. Reflects Twemlow; grey, dry, polite, susceptible to east wind, First-Gentleman-in-Europe collar and cravat, cheeks drawn in as if he had made a great effort to retire into himself some years ago, and had got so far and had never got any farther. Reflects mature young lady; raven locks, and complexion that lights up well when well powdered — as it is — carrying on considerably in the captivation of mature young gentleman; with too much nose in his face, too much ginger in his whiskers, too much torso in his waistcoat, too much sparkle in his studs, his eyes, his buttons, his talk, and his teeth. Reflects charming old Lady Tippins on Veneering’s rig

ive functions, so extremely complicated and daring, that if they could be published with their results it might benefit the human race. Having taken in provisions

ou, my dear

head, for it would seem now, that Lady T

advertising people, I don’t ask you to trust me, without offering a respe

outh. But a faint smile, expressive of ‘What’s the use!’ passe

upon the knuckles of her left hand — which is particularly rich in knuckles,

any man from Jamaica, except the man

go, t

t from

start takes the epaulette out of his way: ‘except our friend who long lived on ricepudding and isinglass, till at

ble that Eugene is coming out. An unful

e very obedient and devoted; and here is my oldest lover-in-chief, the head of all my slaves, throwing off his allegiance before company! And here is another of my lovers, a rough Cymon at present certainl

oking a new lover, or striking out an old lover, or putting a lover in her black list, or promoting a lover to her blue list, or adding up her lovers, or otherwise posting her

very night. But I am resolved to have the account of the man from Somewhere, and I beg you to elicit it for me, my love

rested in the man from Som

taking heart of grace

y inte

e exc

ama

Nowhere,

manner of a supplicating child, turns to her left neighbour, and says, ‘Tease! Pay! Man from Tumwher

ill all of you execrate Lady Tippins in your secret hearts when you find, as you inevitably will, the man from Somewhere a bore. Sorry to destroy romance by fixing

ests ‘Day a

e the Port. My man comes from the country where they make the Cape Wine. B

ubles himself much about the Veneerings themselves, and that any one wh

, ‘whose name is Harmon, was only son of a tre

d a bell?’ the glo

untry entirely composed of Dust. On his own small estate the growling old vagabond threw up his own mountain range, like an old volcano, a

f-dozen words to her; after which he wanders away again, tries Twemlow and finds he d

ition on the claims of his daughter. He chose a husband for her, entirely to his own satisfaction and not in the least to hers, and proceeded to settle upon her, as her marriage portion, I don’t know how much Dust, but something immense. At this stage of the affair the poor girl respectfully intimated that she was secretly engaged to t

oncedes a little claret to the Buffers; who, again mysteriously moved all four at once, screw it

probably possessing a porch ornamented with honeysuckle and woodbine twining, until she died. I must refer you to the Registrar of the District in which the humble dwelling was situated, for the certified cause of death; but early sorrow and anxie

en with great pains, but it is in him. The gloomy Eugene too, is not without some kindred touch; for, when that appalling Lady Tippins declares that if Another had survived, he should have gone down at the head of her list of lovers —

er pro

ther was dead; but that I don’t know. Instantly, he absconded, and came over here. He must have been a boy of spirit and resource, to get here on a stopped allowance of five sous a week; but he did it somehow, and he burst in on his father, and pleaded his sister’s cause

ng-room door. Analytical Chemist goes to the door, confers angrily with unseen tap

other day, after having been e

e, by detaching himself, and asserting indiv

you for reminding me.

oldened by succe

. Ten or twelv

a melancholy example; being regarded by the three other Buffers with

ing remembrance that there is a Veneering at tab

is arms, and composes his brow to hear it out in a judicial m

with some sort of a dwelling-house at its foot, to an old servant who is sole executor, and all the rest of the property — which is very considerable — to the son. He directs hi

ee him, but because of that subtle influence in nature which impels humanity to embrace

old, and who is now a marriageable young woman. Advertisement and inquiry discovered the son in the man from Somewhere, and at the present mo

g person is a young person of persona

? Mortimer replies, that by special testamentary clause it would then go to the old servant above mentioned, passing over a

and dishes at her knuckles across the table; when everybody but Mortimer himself becomes aware that the Analyt

attention, until Lady Tippins (who has a habit of waking totally insensible), having remembered where she is, and recovered a perception of surrounding objects, says: ‘Fal

t’s

hemist bends

Says Mo

mist again ben

Reads it, reads it twice, turns it over to lo

Mortimer then, looking with an altered face round the table:

arried?’ o

marry?’ ano

the dust?’ an

all wrong. The story is completer and rather more exc