Drift from Two Shores

n, immediately after the massacre of the soldiers, and once more revisiting the haunts of civilization. His soul sickened in feverish inactivity; school

at the gentle Mushymush, although devoted to her pale-faced brother, was deficient in culinary education. Her mince pies were abominable; her jam far inferior to that made by his Aunt Sally of Doemvil

ich he afterward led into the camp a captive and a present to the lovely Mushymush. He had scalped two express riders and a correspondent of the "New York Herald"; had despoiled the Overland Mail Stage of a quantity of vouchers whi

the happy hunting-grounds of his fathers, and now desires only peace, bla

a youth who as

y policies in three Hartford companies. Meanwhile prepare the stake,

Chief. As he entered the wigwam and stood revealed to his host they

y, ol

ey, ol

oy Chief, was the first to recover his calmne

r in Washington. Hereafter no latch keys will be provided for the wig

warriors, and in

friend aside; "I am known here only a

, "am known everywhere as the Pirate Prodig

came yo

Wharf in San Francisco, disguised as a Mendocino lumber vessel. My

expensive," said

passengers-you understand, an enforced collection. The papers

r Indian policy. Bu

Reduced to poverty by the breaking of the savings bank of which he was president,-a failure to which I largely contributed, and the profits of which I enjoyed,-I have sin

ale, and clutch at the tent-

, "aged fourteen, red-haired, with

e s

me! She died

terlings, rushing at Jen

of Mushymush with outstretched hands stood betwee

nly to Chitterlings; "yo

youths

. She resolved to become a schoolmistress. Hearing of an opening in the West, she proceeded to Colorado to take exclusive cha

made never to spare educational

ndian maidens was enabled to pass for one of the tribe. Once undetected, she boldly ingratiated herself with the Boy Chief

r in his arms. The Boy Chief,

ou, my c

eunion," said Chitterlings, after a pause, but the

rom the Great Fat

Boy Chief; "this is no tim

nsists upon seeing you,

t, and read aloud, i

ge in United States Senate, and Act

, prematurely bald, but still cold and intellectual, entered

epresent. Knowing through political spies in your own camp who you were, I acted upon the physical fears of the commissioner, who was an ex-clergyman, and easily induced him to deputize me to consult with you. In doing so, I have lost my scalp, but as the hirsute signs of juvenility have worked against my political progress

ecome of me?" as

rmined to recognize you as de jure and de facto the only loyal representative of the Patagonian governme

self, old

ll recognize by your influence and votes the r

parents and guardians may deem fittest from these pages, I hope in future years to portray further the career o

OSE YOKE W

re, I fancy, first visible in the boots and shirt; the boots offensively exhibiting a degree of polish inconsistent with their dilapidated condition, and the shirt showing an ex

ded me

as kindly, whose touch was as gentle, in the wards of the great public hospitals as it was beside the laced curtains of the dying Narcissa; a man who, through long contact with suffering, had acquired a universal tenderness and breadth of kindly philosophy; a man who, day and night, was at the beck and call of anguish; a man who never

l, characteristically

ke of. He ought to be

or the meaning of this mysterious communication. The good "material," however, soon relieved my embarrassm

soldier, who, among his other trials and uncertainties, was afflicted with an aneurism caused by the buckle of his knapsack press

; how evade the ubiquitous reporter and the coroner's inquest; how a suspicion might arise that I had in some way, through negligence or for some dark purpose, unknown to the jury, precipitated t

nd with feverish courtesy

feel it?" he asked,

N

see

N

hibition to the doctors, and that he was, perhaps, a trifle vain of this attention. This perception was corroborated a moment la

e him in any

hat he was not, strictly speaking, a poor man; that some years before the discovery of his fatal complaint he had taken out a life insurance policy for five thousand dollars, and that he had raked and scrap

ped, aw

until," or the pause that followed it. He was evidently quite unconscious of its effect, for as I took a seat beside him on the sofa, and looked

Then I'll take him. He'll do for the last scene in the 'Destruction of Sennacherib'-it's a tremendous thing, you know. We'll have two thousand people on the stage." I was a trifle alarmed at the title, and ventured to suggest (without betraying my poor friend's secre

n or the block, without anything more than a vocal protest or command, always delivered to the audience and never to the actors, but I think my poor friend's utter impassiveness to the wild carnage and the terrible exhibitions of incendiarism that were going on around him transcended even that. Dressed in a costume that seemed to be the very soul of anachronism, he stood a little outside the proscenium, holding a spear, the other hand pressed apparently upon the secret within his breast, calmly surveying, with his waxen face, the gay au

hile it will be remembered the "Destruction of Sennacherib" had a tremendous run, it w

skill and pathos as I could command. I regret to say that, as a pathetic story, it for a moment seemed to be a dead failure. At last a prominent banker sitting next to me turned to me with the awful question: "Why don't your friend try to realize on

h an Aneurism" invested his money in the name of and for the benefit of his wife in certain securiti

n for three months afterward. When I did I asked tidings of The Man with the Aneurism. The Doctor's kind face

ver

ttled that life insurance policy on her and the children: she might have waited; she didn't. The other da

ed him," I said wit

aid the Doctor, with conscientious professio

is the poor

e's at the theatre yet. Which way are you going? Down town? Why can't you step into my carriage, and I'll give you a lift, and we'll talk on the way down? Well-he's at the theatre yet. And-and-do you remember the 'Destruction of Sennacherib?' No? Yes you

you hor

k about him, his health, and general condition. I told her the truth-and she FAINTED. It was about as dead a faint as I ever saw; I was nearly an hour in bringing her out of it. Of cours

s his gene

moment. He was up here the other day. Why, the pulsation was as plain

om my mind, and returned to the literary contemplation of virtue that was clearly and positively defined, and of Sin, that invariably commenced with a capita

d Robinson, and my wittiest friend Jones. It was a clear, star-lit morning, and we seemed to hold the broad, beautiful avenue to ourselves; and I fear we ac

sidewalk, "but I've some news for you. I've just been to see our

t! d

s I said. You see, the rupture too

, Do

e she-that woman I spoke of-had written a note to him based on what I had

ng his condition? She might, with woman'

By Jove! she ACCEPTED him!

ha

, we never thought of THAT! Queer, ain't it? See her

it hasn't go

o. Good morning.

END, T

ile away over the salt marshes had little that was monitory, mandatory, or even supplicatory in their drowsy voices. Rather they seemed to call from their cloudy towers, like some renegade muezzin: "Sleep is better than prayer; sleep on, O sons of

ed, and lay down on one of the boulders of a little stony slope that gave upon the sea. The great Atlantic lay before me, not yet quite awake, but slowly hea

hollow, in which, comfortably extended on the mosses and lichens, lay a powerfully-built man. He was very ragged; he was very dirty; there was a strong suggestion about him of his having too much hair, too much nai

y before us, in his own person, I was deeply indignant at his laziness. Perhaps I showed it in my manner, for he rose to a half-s

ght, with nothin' to sustain me, and hevin' a mortal wakeness to fight wid in me bowels, by reason of starvation, and only a bit o' baccy that the Widdy Maloney gi' me at the cross roads, to kape me up entoirley. But it was the

es by an inhuman captain; that he had a wife lying sick of consumption in the next village, and two children, one of whom was a cripple, wandering in the streets of Boston. I remembered that this tremendous indictment against Fortune touched

him with the deception. To my surprise, he to

it's worruk I'm lukin' for-I have to desave now and thin to shute the locality. Ah, God

althy man like him might have found wor

reight train, and didn't sthop. It was in

ou any

've had at makin' bricks in Milwaukee. Shure, I've as aisy a hand

iring the assumption of the scamp, who knew this fact as well as myself. But I said, "I can give you work for a day or two;" and, bidding him gather up his sick wife's apparel, led the way across the downs to my cottage. At first I think the offer t

" and it was not until I was out of hearing that he would languidly gather his traps again and saunter after me. When I reached my own garden gate he leaned for a moment over it, with both of his powerful arms extended downward, and said, "Ah, but it's a blessin' that Sunday comes to give rest fur the wake and the weary, and them as walks sivinteen miles to get it." Of course I took the hint. There was evidently no work to be had from my friend, the Tramp, that day. Yet his countenance brightened as he saw the limited extent of my domain, and observed that the garden, so called, was only a flower-bed about twenty-five by ten. As he had doubtless before this been utilized, to the extent of his capacity, in digging, he had probably expecte

m from the meadow beyond, hoping to estop the suggestion I knew was coming. "Ah, but, Captain, it's meself that with wanderin' and havin' nothin' to pass me lips but the berries I'd pick from the hedges,-it's meself knows where to find thim. Sure, it's yer childer, and foine boys they are, Captain, that's besaching me to go wid 'em to the place, known'st only to meself." It is unnecessary to say that he triumphed. After the manner of vagabonds of all degrees, he had enlisted the women and children on his side-and my friend, the Tramp, had his own wa

t that he had not ye

me hand that's yet onaisy wid brick-makin' and sthr

the hillsides, while comfortably stretched on the top of the wall lay my friend, the Tramp, quietly overseeing the operation with lazy and humorous comment. For an instant I was foolishly indignant, but he soon brought me to my senses. "Shure, sur, it's only larnin' the boys the habits uv ind

of servants or children with my friend's "worruk." Perhaps it was the res

, and it's better I should lave ye and find worruk at me own thrade. For it's worruk I am nadin'. It isn't meself, Captain, to ate the br

inently practical and businesslike in his management of it. He employed many laborers on the sterile waste he called his "farm," and it occurred to me

ee: he came Monday and left me Thursday. He was, I think, a stout, strong man, a well-meaning, good-humored fellow, but afflicted with a most

d hurriedly, "you

e his whole wretched story-his escape from the Confederate service, the a

id, feebly; "you were

and I had to keep him up on brandy and capsicum. Rheumatism set in on the following day, and incapacitated him for work, and I concluded I had better give him a note to the director o

a lingering flavor of whisky, onions, and fluffiness. But in two weeks this had gone, and the "Shebang" (as my friends irreverently termed my habitation) knew him no more. Yet it was pleasant to think of him as having at last

nt and the daughters beautiful. The front of the house was deserted, but on the rear veranda I heard the rustle of gowns, and above it

"An' shure, miss, I wouldn't be askin' ye the loan of a cint if I could get worruk at me trade of carpet-wavin'-and maybe ye know of some mannfacthory where they wave carpets beyant here. Ah,

n the world, and I felt that common justice demanded my interference between it and one of the biggest scamps in th

led utterly; for no sooner did he see me, than he instantly gave vent to a howl of delight,

self, God bless him, as sthripped the coat off his back, and giv it me, sayin', 'Take it, Dinnis, it's shtarved with the cowld say air ye'll be entoirely.' Ah, but look at him-will ye, miss! Look at his swate, modist face-a blushin' like your own, miss. Ah! look at him, will ye? He'll be denyin' of it in a minit-may the blessin' uv God folly him

tremendous indictment I had framed to utter as I opened the door vanished complet

se of my friend, the Tramp, and giving him such relief as was required. (I did not know until afterward, however, that the rascal

fernal

t if ye'd hav' seen the luk that the purty one give ye. Well, before the chills and faver bruk me spirits ent

s I shall have to take it all back and expose you before the next twenty-four

. "Mind, I don't want t

n't, c

I di

elf-discipline, statistics, aesthetics, and a perfect consciousness of possessing all these virtues, and a full recognition of their market values. I think he tolerated me as a kind of foreigner, gently but firmly waiving all argument on any top

sdemeanor. Any sentiment on the other side renders you particeps criminis. I don't know but an action would lie against you for encouraging tramps. Now, I have an efficacious way of dealing with thes

m?" I echoe

f course HE doesn't know tha

of my friend's arguments might be only blank cartridges

sing shot. Last evening I had a visit from one. He was coming over

e subject. After breakfast I strolled over the downs, my friend p

sh of a great benediction lay on land and sea. A few white sails twinkled afar, but sleepily; one o

. His face, however, lo

ed my kitchen, and the servants have entertained him. Yesterday morning, it appears, while I was absent, he had the a

, at leas

back the gun, he told her it was all right, and that

e, for he added, hastily: "It was onl

nt. "I thought the gun kicked a little," he said at l

there were spots of blood and fragments of an old gown, blood-stained, as if used for bandages. I

dily leading toward the sea. When I overtook him at last on the shore, he was standing before a flat

alt is a styptic," said my host, who had re

pt it fast. Whatever its calm eyes had seen that summer night, it gave no reflection no

N FROM

shed by the clothes-dealer's ticket which still adhered to his coat-collar, giving the number, size, and general dimensions of that garment somewhat obtrusively to an uninterested public. His trousers had a straight line down each leg, as if he had been born flat but had since developed

, "but I'm from Solano, in Californy. I met you there in the sp

ional rudeness in the reminder. It was simply a

with him. "I saw you a minnit ago standin' over in yon box-chirpin' with

d lately stirred the hearts of the metropolis, and who was especially admi

ment, and then said, "Thet's so! t

er, then?" I as

aboard the cars this side of Reno. She lost her baggage-checks, and I found them on the floor and gave 'em back to her, and she thanked me.

. The tyranny of custom, it is true, compels your friend and myself to dress peculiarly, but I assure you nothing could be finer than the way that the olive green of your coat melts in the del

rike him. He looked at the ironical Dashboard

u wouldn't mind s

he recovered himself, and, bowing ironically, led the

ano was not spared, she comprehended the situation instantly. To Dashboard's surprise she drew a chair to her side, made the Man from Solano sit down, qu

ut the fact is he was dull and stupid to the last degree. He persisted in keeping the conversation upon the subject of the lost baggage-checks,

you and me bein' sorter strangers here, maybe when

her stay in New York she feared would, etc., etc. The two other ladies had their handkerchiefs

e word to Earle's Hotel, to this yer address," and he pulled from his pocket a dozen well-wo

ow night. The tickets are but a trifle to an opulent Californian, and a man of your evid

s one of the managers and you are a stranger, he will, of course, send you a complimentary ticket. I have known Mr. Dashboard long enough to

er shaking hands with every body in the box, turned to go. Whe

things in the world, miss, t

in "Faust," and Miss X. was absorbed. The Man from Solan

f renewing a previous conversation, "She IS a mighty peart gal-t

that she was beset by attentions, that she could have her pick and choice of the

if she wasn't. But I reckon I'll steer down to the ho-tel. I don't care much for this yellin'."

e looking at that watch," he said; "it's purty to look at, but she don't go worth a cent. And yet her price was $125

d," I said, indignantly. "Watch and

h fifteen?" he

ssi

enbacks. I had three slugs with me. Ye remember them slugs?" (I did; the "slug" was a "token" issued in the early days-a

to slap 'em down on the boys for a bluff in a game of draw poker. You see, not being reg'lar gov-ment money, it wasn't counterfeiting. I re

rned his watch to his pocket, toyed playfully with the chain, and r

ut what do you intend

g'lar business I'll skirmish round Wall Street, and sorter lay low." I was about to give him

nk I saw a slight improvement in his general appearance. Only five distinct colors we

chance to continner our talk about them checks. But that young feller, Dashboard, was mighty perlite. He brought lots of fellers and young women round to the box to see me, and he made up a party that night to take me round Wall Street and in them S

worth a cent. The whole th

t Company, and so I thought it was a square game. Only I realized on the stocks I bought, and I kem up outer Wall Str

I began to be a little afraid of the man, or, rather, of my want of

and had a little office on Broad Street, where he transacted a fair business. My remembrance going back to the first night I met him, I

ith her about the

fash'nable fellers sorter got to runnin' her about me, and so she put our acquaintance on a square bus

ad

whole thing was got up by a man that they say is going to marry her. Well, one afternoon the boom swings rou

y! This poor fellow, debarred through uncouthness from expressing his

on the taffrail, and there a dozen yards away

for her," I

let the other man do the j

t him in a

pped to the bottom, that other man would have jumped nateral-like and saved her; and ez he was going to marry her anyway, I don't exactly see where I'D hev been represented in the transaction. But don't you see, ef

e did s

he'd missed her, I'd have chipped in. Thar warn'

adily growing, and that he seemed to be getting on in his business. Certain California stocks which I had seen quietly interred in the old days in the tombs of their fathers were magically revived; and I remember, as one who has seen a ghost, to have been shocked as I looked over the

ed to visit the club, where a series of ridiculous entertainments were given him, winding up with a card party.

t." "Why, he must have r

" I a

n from

, noted for his sporting propensities, followed

t business did your frie

s a sh

wha

flocks on the honey-sc

ay is, d-n your Ca

FFICE

had ever seen the

n humble member of the profession to which I belonged, and had often written for its columns. Some friends of his-partial, no doubt-had said that his style somewhat resembled Junius's; but of course, you know-well, what he could say was that in the last campaign his articles were widely sought for. He did not know

much larger, so much colder, so much more indifferent to him than he ever imagined. Indeed, I think that what we often attribute to the impertinent familiarity of country-men and rustic travelers on railways or in cities is largely due to their awful loneliness and nostalgia. I remember to have once met in a smoking-car on a Kansas railway one of these lonely ones, who, after plying me with

tible. He was dressed in black, somewhat to the "rearward o' the fashion," and I had an odd idea that it had been his wedding suit, and it afterwards appeared I was right. His manner had the pre

members of the Remus Debating Society. The various questions then agitating Remus,-"Is the doctrine of immortality consistent with an agricultural life?" and, "Are round dances morally wrong?"-afforded him an opportunity of bringing himself prominently before the country people. Perha

h

er, member of Congres

h

e had come on with Gashwiler, and-well, he did not know why-Gashwiler did not know why he should not, you kno

any particular or de

ered his very words: "Leave it all to me; I'll look through the diffe

n

inute. He's gone over to the Department of Tape,

here was a suggestion of a cheap lawyer about him that would have justified any self-respecting judge in throwing him over the bar at once. There was a military suspicion about him that woul

rs of State. Youth," continued the Hon. Mr. Gashwiler, addressing an imagina

anything else about him-I don't know whether I was more incensed at him or his victim, wh

hing been

he Latin philosopher says? 'Let us by all means hasten slowly'-ha, ha!" and he turned to me as if saying confidentially, "Observe the impatience of these boys!" "I met, a moment ago, my old friend an

gifted legislator and his protege; but as we drove away I saw through the open window the

een this and their former interviews, that the gifted Gashwiler seemed to be anxious to get away from his friend. I heard him say something about "

asantly how he

her members that he was almost always occupied with committee business. I noticed that his clothes were not in as good case as befo

minded me of Stewart's or Arnold and Constable's. You could get pensions, patents, and plants. You could get land and the seeds to put in it, and the Indians to

he anteroom, and entered the secretary's room, conscious of having left behind me a great deal of envy and uncharitableness of spirit. As I opene

to have the supervisors and county judge pledged to support the administration. Our delegates to the State Central Committee are to a man"-but here, perceiving from the wandering eye of

, I suppose?" asked t

hey were ready to recommend anybody but the person they belonged to. Indeed, in one corner the entire Massachusetts delegation, with the Supreme Bench at their head, appeared to be earnestly a

etter here from somebody in your district asking an a

eculate upon my patronage," said the

apers, and then sank back hopelessly in his chair, and gazed out of the window as if he thought and rather hoped it might hav

ish fellow who has been bo

tand that this appli

appointment would not express the sentiments-indeed, I may say,

shwiler passed out. I tried to get a good look at the hon

e had discovered a second cousin in the person of the Assistant Superintendent of the Envelope Flap Moistening Bureau of the Department of Tape, and had asked his assistance; and Dobbs had seen him, and he had promised

s to form round his eyes, and a slight flush on his cheek-bones. I remember meeting him in all the departments, writing letters or waiting patiently in anterooms from morning till night. H

zement, when the writer himself overtook me at my hotel. For a moment I scarcely recognized him. A new suit of fashionably-cut clothes had changed him, without, however,

s, know me except as an applicant. Now, the way to do this thing is to meet 'em fust sociably; wine 'em and dine 'em. Why, sir

R invit

et had fixed up no end of appointments and jobs in that way. You see, when these gentlemen get sociable over their wine, he says carelessly, 'By the way, there's So-and-so-a goo

did you get

down to political expenses." He laughed a weak, foolish laugh here, and added, "As the old man don't drink nor smoke, he'd

iarity was worse than his former awkward shyness. But I could n

Department, both spoke to me, and one of them said he thought he'd heard my name befo

was nothing to do but to make the attempt to reach them in a sleigh. But the way was long and the drifts deep, and when at last four miles out we reached a littl

lace is

em

few moments one of the loungers approached me, calling me by name, and in a rough but hearty fashion condoled with me for my mishap, advised me to stay at Remus all night, and added: "The quarters ain't the best in the world yer at this hotel. But thar's an old man yer-the preacher that was-that for twenty years hez taken in such fellers as you and lodged 'em free g

he door opened to my guide's knock, and with the brief and discomposing introduction, "Yer, ole man, I've brought you one o' them sn

urnished sitting-room. At the same moment a pretty, but faded young woman arose from the sofa and was introduced to me as his daughter. "Fanny and I live here q

hose dim reveries of some previous existence to which the spirit of mankind is subject? I looked at them again. In the careworn lines around the once pretty girlish mouth of the young woman, in the furro

r in my house for passing guests, but to-night I find myself without any." I hastened to offer him my flask, which, after a moment's coyness, he

at the National Cap

the old man was evidently bent on having a good political talk. So I said vaguely

would imply that a certain conservative tentative policy is to be promulgated until after the electoral committee have g

federal position in Washington, the pressure of his business is so great tha

d these his wife and father; and the Washington banquet-table, ah me! had sparkled with the year

w what posi

general supervising position. He had been assured by Mr. Gash

any other official regulations in Washin

your M. C., Mr

o her feet hastily; "he never brought Expectant anything

and unjust. Mr. Gashwiler is a powerful, a very powerful man! His w

could make use of poor Expectant," sai

re was a framed resolution of thanks to Dobbs from the Remus Debating Society; there was a certificate of Dobbs's election as President of the Remus Philomathean Society; there was his commission as Captain in the Remus Independent Contingent of Home Guards; there was a Freemason's chart, in which Dobbs was addressed in epithets more fulsome and extravagant than any living monarch. And yet all these cheap glories of a narrow life and narrower brain were upheld and made sacred by the

came upon a man accurately yoked across the shoulders, and supporting two huge pails of ice on either side, from whi

cheerily, said he was beginning at the foot of the ladder, but expected soon to c

r procured th

nk, who had, in turn related it to Bureau-director Dash-both good fellows-

icture of his wife and family, and my visit there, and promising to come and se

omen, incapacitated for other work by long service in the dull routine of federal office, who were decapitated, the weak, foolish, emaciated head of Expectant Dobbs went to the block. It afterward appeared that the gifted Gas

vain in anterooms, lobbies, and hotel corridors, and

ose. How difficult it was to think of a Gashwiler creeping in and out of those enfiling columns, or crawling beneath that portico, without wondering that yon majestic figure came not down with flat of sword to smite the fat rotundity of the intruder. Ho

the driver to stop, and, looking again, saw that it was a woman standing bewildered and irreso

ng here, and whe

ween her sobs, that Expectant had not returned; that she had received a letter from a friend here saying he was sick,-oh

e his

ashington, near Georgetown. Then I would tak

the Great Mother before alluded to, but she only shut her eyes as we roll

hudder slightly as we stopped at the door of a low, two-story frame house, from which the unwonted specta

was upstairs, rather poorl

ear his bed were letters and memorials to the various departments, and on the bed-quilt, unfinished,

aid, quickly, and a shade of disappointment crossed his face. "I tho

rushing blow. But she walked quietly to his side without a word or cry,

suddenly raising her bowed head in his two hands, he said, "Do you know, dear, that in looking for help and influence there was one, dear, I had forgotten; one who is ve

had sought and found Him, an

NG-CAR E

he weary traveler takes on getting into his berth, I awakened to the dreadful revelation that I had been

heat cakes, and why they clung to you when you turned over, and lay heavy on you without warmth; why the curtains before you could not have been made opaque, without being so thick and suffocating; why i

d your back, and then dealt them over your shoulder in a semicircle, as if they were a hand at cards, and not always a good one? Why, having done this, she instantly retired to the nearest wall, and gazed at you scornfully, as one who would say, "Fair sir, though lowly, I am proud; if thou dost imagine that I would permit undue familiarity of speech, beware!" And then I began to think of and dread the coming breakfast; to wonder why the ham was always cut half an inch thick, and why the fried egg always resembled a g

popular comic song flashed across me. Fatal error! The train instantly took it up, and during the rest of the night I was haunted by this awful refrain: "Pull down the bel-lind, pull down the bel-lind; simebody's klink klink, O don't be shoo-shoo!" Naturally this differs on the different railways. On the New York Central, where the road-bed is quite perfect and the steel rails continuous, I have heard this irreverent train give the words of a certain popular revival hymn after this fashion: "Hold the fort, for I am Sankey; Moody slingers still. Wave the swish swash back from klinky, klinky klanky kill." On the

nce suggested to me that it was the gradual settling back of the car body to a state of inertia, which, of course, every poetical traveler would reject. Four o'clock the sound of boot-blacking by the porter faintly apparent from the toilet-room. Why not talk to him? But, fortunately, I remembered that any attempt at extended conversation with conductor or porter was always resented by them as implied disloyalty to the company they represented. I recalled that onc

in a languid, perfunctory sort of way. They sat opposite each other, occasionally looking out of the window, but always giving the strong im

as at one time as poplar

answer, out of some languid, social impulse): "But was h

purfessin' Christian; but he hed-yes, he hed conviction. I think Dr. Wyl

g it was incumbent upon him to say somethin

and there, sometimes outer the Book, sometimes outer hisself, ez a man of experience as hed hed sorror. Hed, they say (VERY CAUTIOUSLY), lost

ut how did he los

e things into ondertaking that waz new. He hed, for instance, a wa

quietly): "How

ve thought): "Look yer, did ye ever notiss how

n had notice

that gal-I was one of the mourners, being my wife's friend-well, that gal, though I hedn't, perhaps, oughter say-lying in that casket, fetched all the way from some A1 establishment

alpably affected sy

over the face of the deceased ontil he perduced what the survivin' relatives called a look of resignation,-you know, a sort of smile,

Man: "I wa

being Scriptoorl, or sacred, we being, ez you know, worms of the yearth; and I relieved my mind to our pastor, but he didn't feel

curtain I saw four other heads as eagerly reached out from other berths to hear the conclusion of the story. One head, a female one, instantly disappeared on my loo

himself languidly from

nt. The fammerly, being proud-like, of course didn't spare no money on that funeral, and it waz-now between you and me-about ez shapely and first-class and prime-mess affair ez I ever saw. Wilkins hed put in his extrys. He hed put onto that prodigal's face the A1 touch,-hed him fixed up with a 'Ch

re to know what ultimately settled the unpopularity of the undertaker. But from the curtains o

ing to the fading topic): "W

ts. When Mrs. Widdecombe lost her husband, 'bout two months ago, though she'd been through the val

ense expression of interes

o appear before my Maker to-morrow,

Man: "Well

f Providence,-one of Widdecombe's old friends, a doctor up thar in Chicago, comes down to the funeral. He goes up with the friends to look at the deceased, smilin' a peaceful sort o' heavinly smile, and everybody s

say your husban

g her eyes, poor critter. 'Cons

iction. 'Thet man died of strychnine. Look at thet face. Look at thet contortion of them fashal musc

, 'thet-thet is his last smile.

resignation. It's pizon. And I'll-' Why, dern my skin, yes we are; yes

om their berths: "Say; look yer, s

and the Other

ON THE

AN EARL

ted in healthfulness, opulence, and wisdom, I beg here to solemnly protest against. As an "unhealthy" man, as an "unwealthy" m

of early rising is confined exclusively to domestics. Consequently, when I issue forth on this broad, beautiful th

9 has once or twice followed me a block or two with the evident impression that I was a burglar returning from a successful evening out. Neverthel

metropolis, that I have often been inclined to doubt statistics. The ground that my morning rambles cover extends from Twenty-third Street to Washington Park, and laterally from Sixth Avenue to Broadway. The early rising artisans that I meet here, crossing three avenues,-the milkmen, the truck-drivers, the workman, even the occasional tramp,-wherever they may come from or go to, or what their real habitat may be,-are invariably Amer

ful recollection of him as being one who introduced me to a restaurant where chicory, thinly disguised as coffee, was served with bread at five cents a cup, and that he honorably insisted on being the host, and paid his ten cents for our mutual entertainment with the grace of a Barmecide. I remember, in a more genial season,-I think early summer,-to have found upon the benches of Washington Park a gentleman who informed me that his profession was that of a "pigeon catcher"; that he contracted with certain parties in this city to furnish these birds for what he called their "pigeon-shoots"; and that in fulfilling this contract he often was obliged to go as far west as Minnesota. The details he gave-his methods of entrapping the birds, his study of their habits, his evident belief that the city pigeon, however well provided for by

ad and open bill outstretched, very much like that ridiculous burlesque of the American eagle which the common canary-bird assumes when teased. "Did you ever see 'em wash in the fountain in the square?" said Roundsman 9999, early one summer morning. I had not. "I guess they're there yet. Come and see 'em," he said, and complacently accompanied me two blocks. I don't know which was the finer sight,-the thirty or forty winged sprites, dashing in and out of the basin, each the very impersonation of a light-hearted, mischievous puck, or this grave

ine or walk the long floors of a fashionable dry-goods shop. I remember one face and figure, faultless and complete,-modestly yet most becomingly dressed,-indeed, a figure that Compte-Calix might have taken for one of his exquisite studies, which, between seven and eight A. M. passed through Eleventh Street, between Sixth Avenue and Broadway. So exceptionally fine was her carriage, so chaste and virginal her presence, and so refined and even spiritual her features, that, as a literary man, I would have been justified in taking her for the heroine of a soci

guid, perfunctory manner, which, I think, must have been insulting to the bar-keeper. I have observed two men, whom I had seen drinking amicably together the preceding night, standing gloomily at the opposite corners of the bar, evidently trying not to see each other and making the matter a confidential one with the bar-keeper. I have seen even a thin disguise of simplicity assumed. I remember an elderly gentleman, of most respectable exterior, who used to enter the cafe as if he had strayed there accidentally. After looking around carefully, and yet unostentatiously, he would walk to the bar, and, with an air of affected ca

ondition of his master, and I went to the door of the carriage. I was astonished to find two young friends of mine, in correct evening dress, reclining on each other's shoulders and sleeping the sleep of the justly inebriated. I stated this fact to the coachman. Not a muscle of his well-trained face answered to my smile. But he said: "You see, sir, we've been out all night, and more than four blocks below they saw you, and wanted me to hail you, but you know you stopped to speak to a gentleman, and so I sor

e her apparel, and had thinly disguised the flowing robe and loose cestus of Venus under a ragged "waterproof"; while the other, who had doubtless posed for Mercury, hid her shapely tights in a plaid shawl, and changed her winged sandals for a pair of "arctics." Their rouged faces were streaked and stained with tears. The man who was with them, the male of their species, had but hastily washed himself of his Ethiopian presentment, and was still black behind the ears; while an exaggerated shirt collar and frilled shirt made his occasional indignant profanity irresistibly ludicrous. So they fared on over

that exquisite spire became slowly visible. Fret by fret the sunlight stole slowly down, quivering and dropping from each, until at last the whole church beamed in rosy radiance. Up and down the long avenue the street lay in shadow; by some strange trick of

THE E

en I was

company of infinite respectability, the locality at once fashionable and exclusive, the oc

eptation of a simple fact. Indeed, I think we all rather tried to convey the impression that our host, when he WAS a pirate,-if he ever really was one,-was all that a self-respe

many years ago, when

if piracy were a natural expre

the circumstances that le

in French and an excess of politeness, "that it was not of a necessity,"

Canot,-a Frenchman,-most eenteresting-he was-oh, a fine man of education-and wh

males of an American family against the parents' wishes does not, with us, necessarily carry any obloquy with it. To the average American the prospect of fortune and a better condition lies OUTSIDE of his home; with you the home means the estate, t

d in Germany, which was expressed in a single word of seventeen syllables. Viscount Piccadilly said to his neighbor: "That, you know now, t

ed equally with my brothers the privileges and limitations of o

at?" asked

," said his ne

ur piracy!" sa

then at Miss Jones. Each made a mental note of the ave

f a Liverpool 'liner,

grande, sotto voce, to his next neig

days when we had not lost our carr

" said Legrande, implori

carried the bulk of freight,

g his head violently. Piccadilly noticed it, too, and, seeing an opening for some general discussion on fr

the ship a

le, where another guest, our Nevada Bonanza lion, was evidently in the full flood

superior physical strength and recognized brutality. I have been since told that he graduated from the state prison. On the second day out

vy literary man, turning to HIS neighbor, in a distinctly audible whisper. "Ah!

for information): "W

ighbor (shortly)

e the Encyclopaedia and edits 'The Sun'? that was put

or of "The Sun," one of America's profoundest scholars, while acting from patriotic motives, as th

find more comfortable and profitable means of returning to my own land. Let me say here that this man, although I knew him afterward as one of the most unscrupulous and heartless of pirates,-in fact the typical

ook?" asked Lightbody of his neighbor; "it

look in the direction of Lightbody. But her anxiety was instantly misinterpreted by the polite and fair-play loving Englishman: "I

e was ours. Happily, through the kindness of my Portuguese friend, I was kept from being an active participant in scenes of which I was an unwilling witness. But I must always bear my testimony to one fact. Our discipline, our esprit de corps, if I may so term it, was perfect

rgia murder?" began Lightbody; "it was in

ed our host, quietly. "The act, although harsh and perhaps unnecessarily final,

l casual interruption, but even

of the table came the v

she wore was under the noose, and kinder in the way. I remember her raising her hand to her neck and givin' a spiteful sort of jerk to the braid that fetched it outside the slip-knot, and then saying to the sheriff: 'There, d-n ye, go on.' There was a sort o' tho

this circumstance in my mind, it would have been the fact that two or three days before he had assured me that I should presently have the means of honorable discharge from the pirate's crew, and a return to my native land. A launch was sent from the ship to communicate with our friends on the island, who supplied us with stores, provisions, and general information. The lau

e," "Why shouldn't you

fire lifted themselves, ghost-like, at our bows, sank, swept by us with long, shimmering, undulating trails, broke on the beach in silvery crescents, or shattered their brightness on the black rocks of the promontory. The whole vast sea shone and twinkled like another firmament, against which the figures of our men, sitting with their faces toward us, were outlined darkly. The grim, set features of our first mate, sitting beside me, were faintly illuminated. There was no sound b

, but no

he first mate to this fact, I knew instantly, by some strange instinct, that he had seen and heard her,

her splendidly rounded arms, that she was a mature, perfectly-formed woman. I remember, also, that when she reached the boat, and, supporting herself with one small hand on the gun

youngest, and, I regret to say, the OLDEST, Miss Jone

now in the hands of the authorities; that a force was being organized to capture the vessel; that in

emember seeing her turn a look of ineffable love and happiness upon his grim, set face, and then she was gone. She dove

rsing in whispers with each other, with their faces toward us, yet apparently utterly oblivious of the scene that had just ta

rnan

, aye

d-bring your

n, who, engaged in their whispere

can find so

ft in the phosphorescent water. But he touched no bottom; the c

ely; 'down, down. Reach over there. What are y

d his oar head downward in the waters. The act was so sudden, yet so carefully premeditated, that no outcry escaped the doomed man. Even the launch scarcely dipped her stern to the act. In that awful

locked the traitor's knees within his own. In a few moments-it seemed to me, then, a century-the mate's grasp relaxed; the body of Fernandez, a mere limp, leaden mass, slipped

men raised th

the water, encircling the boat in

ve w

w what became of the woman-really, I don't know! And myself-oh, I got away at Havana! Eh? Certainly; J

slowly filing out of the room. Only

ignificance in her usual audacity. "Do you know you absolutely sent cold chills

pretty, audacious face.

d