Cecilia, Volume 3 (of 3)

ged to have the honour of seeing her. She concluded he was Delvile, and the thought of meeting him merely to communica

d, in a hurrying manner, "why will you come? Why will you thus insist upon s

s? Had I not your consent-but why do you look thus disturbed?-Your eyes are red,-you have been weeping.-Oh my Cecilia! have I

f your enquiries?-Speak quick, for I wish to

w strange are these looks! What new has come to pass? Has any fres

cried she; "when I have spoken, y

I have just experienced, and which tore you from me even at the foot of the altar, still remains inexplicable, still

ured, then, no

ce we parted I have n

would be useless. That we were parted, we know, though

es cast upwards, and a deep

low those tears which agony only can wring from you? Why refuse me that hand which so lately was the pledge of your faith? Am I not the same Delvile to whom so few days since you gav

g Cecilia, "can I give? Alas! it is

rprised with Delvile, and in tears, waited not either to make any excuse to him, or any answer to Miss Charlton, but instantly hurried out of the room;-not, however, to her ol

ade with the rigid sincerity of secret impartiality: so much stronger is our

eldom equal to her notions of right, was now infinitely below them, and the reproac

and censurable by propriety. "His power over my heart," cried she, "it were now, indeed, too late to conceal, but his power over my understanding it is time to cancel. I am not to be his,-my own voice has ratified the renun

ht be again admitted into her presence, she returned for

in a few minutes, she receive

I saw you were unhappy; I would reproach you with tyranny, but that your eyes when you quitted me were swollen with weeping! I go, therefore, I obey the harsh mandate, since my absence is your desire, and I will shut myself up

: yet she determined not to trust herself in his sight, certain they could only meet to grieve over each other, and conscious that a participation of sorrow would but prove a reciprocation of tenderness. Calling, therefore, upon her duty to resist her inclination, she resolved to commit the whole

rm me of your desire, and I will endeavour to fulfil it. As my own Agent I regard myself no longer; if, as yours, I can give pleasure

ificed the son, she had resigned herself to the mother; it now only remained to heal her wounded pride, by sufferin

re than she had been taught to expect from her. In the beginning of her visit, and while doubtful of its success, she had indeed, been austere, but the moment victory appeared in view, she became tender, affectionate and gentle. Her ju

e humiliating circumstance of forcing herself into a family which held all connection with her as disgraceful. She desired not to be the wife even of Delvile upon such terms,

se the steadiness she had just acquired before it should be called upon, if she trusted herself to relate the decision which had been mad

tranquility she heard Mrs Delvile again announced, and

d throwing her arms around her, warmly exclaimed "Oh charming girl! Saver of our family! preserver of our honour!

sigh; "on my side will be all the obligation, if you c

it. That you should give up any man whose friends solicit not your alliance, your mind is too delicate to make wonderful; but your generosity in submitting, unasked, the arrangement of that resignation to those for whose interest it is made,

f her rejection, thanked her only by courtsying; and Mrs De

oodness to tell me, is

d she, blushing, "but

arrival?" No,-I believ

m, and heavy for me the office I must p

d, and Mrs Delvile, taking her hand, said "Tell

estion, and, colouring yet more deep

have nobly consented to relinquish all thoughts of it why then tear your own heart, and torture his, b

ostulation her reason acknowledged, but to ass

diciously, candidly tell me, will it not be wiser and more right, to avoid rather than seek an object which can only give birth to regret? an interview which can excite no sensations but of misery and sadness?" Cecilia then turned pale, she endeavoured to speak, but co

h to see Mortimer merely to behold his grief? Can you desire h

"I am not so despicable, I am not, I hope, so unworthy!-I will-be ruled by

,-what were that but planting a dagger in the heart of M

, "I had better-I will certainly-"

ent, by reflection, or even by accident, to remove the obstacles to our connection, then would it be well to meet, for t

urned away her face, and cried "I know, madam, wha

roduce? Mischief of every sort, pain, horror, and repining! To Mortimer you may think it would be kind, and grant it to his prayers, as an alleviation of his misery; mistaken notion! nothing could so greatly augment it. All his

nhappy Cecilia, "what you say of your

paration: how false such reasoning! how dangerous such consolation! acquainted ere you meet that you were to meet him no more, your heart would be all softness and grief, and at the very moment when tenderness should be banished from your intercourse, it would bear down all opposition of judgment,

ilia, "I will not see him,

iction? Is what I have said

erpowered me,-I see you are right,-and I thank you, madam,

ecilia! what tie, what connection, could make you more dear to me? Who is there like you? Who half so

renity, "and I am thankful that your resentment for

's. You were just, indeed, the woman he had least chance to resist, you were precisely the character to seize his very soul. To a softness the most fatally alluring, you join a dignity which rescues from their own contempt even the most humble of your admirers. You seem born to have all the world wish your

, rather scorn and upbraid me, tell me you despise my character, my family and my co

ely seek to subdue. May my son but emulate your example, and my pride i

braced her, and abru

disguised or repressed. Some faint ray of hope had till now broke through the gloomiest cloud of her misery, and secretly flattered her that its dispersion was possible, though distant: but that

ntly obeyed, for she feared encreasing her indisposition by the intelligence she had to communicate; she struggled, therefore, to appear to

olent, induced her not to join in this regret; she mourned only the obstacle which had occasioned the separation, and not the incident which had merely interrupted the ceremony: convinced, by the conversations in which she had just been engaged, of Mrs Delvile's inflexibility, she rather rejoiced than repined that she had put it to no nearer trial: sorrow w

, and since, in the horror and confusion of the mysterious prohibition to the marriage, neither Delvile nor herself had thought of even attempting to give any caution to the witnesses of that

form Cecilia, that a man was below to enquire if there w

written to him, confessed her sympathy in his sufferings, and besought him to endure with fortitude an evil which was no longer to be withstood: but she was uncertain whether he was yet acquainted with the journey of his mother t

ed himself, and sent up an earnest

o refuse, and therefore, without a moment's hesitation, she bid the servant inform hi

left the house, and immediately

I implore you to see me! Mrs Charlton may be present, all the world, if you wi

t. I will otherwise wait longer, and call again. You will not, I think, turn me f

this note, waited

nd to quiet him, and regretted the necessity of appearing obdurate and unfeeling, even more, at that moment, than the separation itself. To a mind priding in its purity, and animated in its affections, few sensations can excite keener misery, th

to such a mind, would be more severe, self-reproach: she had promised to

l, that she could not endure to be within hearing of his repulse: she begged, therefore, the use of Mrs Charlton's carriage, and determined to make a visit to Mrs Harrel till Delvile and his mother had wh

she would be guided by her implicitly; and then, embracing Mrs Charlton, whom she left to the care of her grand-daughters,