Martin Chuzzlewit

AND T

hich hemmed Todgers's round and hustled it, and crushed it, and stuck its brick-and-mortar elbows into it, and kept the air from it, and stood perpetually between it and th

wall or was stopped by an iron railing, and felt that the means of escape might possibly present themselves in their own good time, but that to anticipate them was hopeless. Instances were known of people who, being asked to dine at Todgers's, had travelled round and round for a weary time, with its very chimney-pots in view; and finding it, at last, impossible of attainment, had gone home again with a gentle melancholy on their spirits, tranquil and uncomplai

umps were found near Todgers's hiding themselves for the most part in blind alleys, and keeping company with fire-ladders. There were churches also by dozens, with many a ghostly little churchyard, all overgrown with such straggling vegetation as springs up spontaneously from damp, and graves, and rubbish. In some of these dingy resting-places which bore much the same analogy to green churchyards, as the pots of earth for mignonette and wall-flower in the windows overlooking them did to rustic gardens, there were trees; tall trees; still putting forth their l

arts, into which few but belated wayfarers ever strayed, and where vast bags and packs of goods, upward or downward bound, were for ever dangling between heaven and earth from lofty cranes There were more trucks near Todgers's than you would suppose whole city could ever need; not active trucks, but a vagabond race, for ever lounging in the narrow lanes before their masters' doors and stopping up the pass; so that when a stray hackney-coach or lumbering waggon came that way, they were the cause of such an uproar as enlivened

d there from boyhood, who had long since become wheezy and asthmatical, and short of breath, except in the article of story-telling; in which respect they were still marvellously long-winded. These gentry were much opposed to steam and all new-fangled ways, and held ballooning to be sinful, and deplored the degeneracy of the times;

east, and which, abutting on an always dirty lane, was so begrimed and coated with a century's mud, that no one pane of glass could possibly fall out, though all were cracked and broken twenty times. But the grand mystery of Todgers's was the cellarage, approachable only by a little back door and a rusty grating; which cellarage within the

the little door in coming out; and after that, was for the moment choked from having looked perforce, straight down the kitchen chimney; but these two stages over, there were things to gaze at from the top of Todgers's, well worth your seeing too. For first and foremost, if the day were bright, you observed upon the house-tops, stretching far away, a long dark path; the sh

d shape, appeared to be maliciously holding themselves askew, that they might shut the prospect out and baffle Todgers's. The man who was mending a pen at an upper window over the way, became of paramount importance in the scene, and made a blank in it, ridiculously disproportionate in its extent, when he retired. The gambols of a piece of cloth upon the dyer's pole had far more interest for the moment than all the changing motion of the crowd. Yet ev

to close the door and follow them downstairs; who, being of a playful temperament, and contemplating with a delight peculia

ed the particulars of three early disappointments of a tender nature; and had furthermore possessed her young friends with a general summary of the life, conduct, and character of

rs,' said Mrs Todgers, 'but to be your ma was too much happines

le blister, which was tacked up over the kettle-holder, and

keness!' cried the

ng herself in a gentlemanly manner at the fire; 'but

met with it in the street, or seen it in a shop wind

e features, my dear Miss Pecksniffs,' said Mrs Todgers. 'The gravy

d the two Mi

s the passion for gravy among commercial gentlemen. It's nothing to say a joint won't yield-a whole animal wouldn't yield-the amount of gravy they ex

aid Charity. 'We have always n

Merry, 'but we have neve

any Saturday evening, "Mrs Todgers, this day week we part, in consequence of the cheese," it is not so easy to preserve a pleasant understanding. Your pa was kind enough,' added the good lady,

the lively Merry, 'don't call him a gentleman

at affection. 'You are quite a quiz, I do declare! My dear Miss Pecksni

can imagine. This is his sister, so I leave you to suppose what she is. I shall be obliged to laugh outright, I know I shall!' cried the charming girl,

e's humour, and declared she was quite afraid

ng as severity in our family, I hope!' And then Mr Pecksniff peep

full disclosure of the sofa bedstead in all its monstrous impropriety. But she had the presence of mind to close this portal in the

and what are our plans? Are we ready to go and see

ysterious intelligence, 'to send a favourable reply to Mr Jin

arm round Mercy, and the other round Mrs Todgers, whom he seemed, in th

always takes the lead in the house,' said

great regard for Jinkins. I take Jinkins's desire to pay polite attention to my d

so much, you must say the rest, Mr Pecksniff;

exactly ascertained. Be this as it may, Mr Pecksniff went on to inform his daughters of the purport and history of the round-robin aforesaid, which was in brief, that the commercial gentlemen who helped to make up the sum and substance of that noun of multitude signifying many, called Todgers's, desired the honour of their presence at the general table, so long as they remained in th

nt gate; with a great bell, whose handle was in itself a note of admiration; and a great lodge; which being close to the house, rather spoilt the look-out certainly but made the look-in tremendous. At this entry, a great porter kept constant watch and ward; and when he gave the visitor high leave to pass, he rang a second great bell,

ouse; and so, by degrees, they got at last into a small room with books in it, where Mr Pinch's sister was at that moment instructing her eldest pupil; to wit, a premature little woman of thir

y cleverly; with a nice discrimination between the cold respect with which he would have announced visito

s for Mi

t, and prepared herself to take mental notes of all that might be said and done. For the lady of the establishment was curious in the natural history and habits of the animal ca

ig

t, but remarkable for its neatness. There was something of her brother, much of him indeed, in a certain gentleness of manner, and in her look of timid trustfulness; but she was so far from being a fright, or

least, with a titter; but her sister, not caring to hide her disdain, expressed it pretty openly in her looks. As to Mrs Todgers, she l

of his, and patting it with the other. 'I have called to see you, in pursuance of a promis

ron of your house; the preserver of your brother, who is fed with manna daily from my table; and in right of whom there is a conside

the fullness of his simple heart, had often told her so, and how much more! As

e sharp pupil, 'crying before stranger

r fellow, that he will ever be distinguished in our profession; but he has the will to do w

it, for which neither he nor I can ever be grateful enough, as we very often say in writing to each other.

em with a smile: 'Thomas's sister is saying

curtsey, that they would feel obliged if she would keep her distance. 'Mr Pinch's being so well provided for

he pupil again. 'Got a grateful broth

ome here; very kind indeed; though how great a kindness you have done me in gratifying my wish to see yo

leasant; very proper,'

you will be able to tell him how more than comfortably I am situated here, and how unnecessary it is that he should ever waste a regret on my being cast upon my own resources. Dear me! So long as I heard that he was happy, and he heard that I was,' said Tom's

e meantime wandered to the pupil; 'certainly.

you, sir,' replied

aid Mr Pecksniff, turning to his

r parents might be supposed to lie) from the first. Mrs Todgers vowed that anything one quarter so angelic she had never seen.

able little friend,' said Mr Pecksniff, producing one of his

dgers, pa,'

is a young man in my employment; but that I could not leave this very chaste mansion, without adding my humble tribute, as an Architect, to the correctness and elegance of the owner's taste, and to his ju

ly appearing, and speaking in exactly the same key as before,

take the card. With my compliments, if you please, young

information relative to the terms of the commercial establishment, bore a foot-note to the effect that M. T. took that opportunity of thanking those gentlemen who had honoured her with their favours, and begg

ss than ever, for it was desirable the footman should express

pend upon my continued protection of your brother

m's sister heartily;

d'-to the pupil-'farewell! That fairy creature,' said Mr Pecksniff, looking in his pensive mood hard at the footman, as if he

re themselves away at length; and sweeping past Miss Pinch with each a haughty incl

rticularly when they were near the parlour door) and giving it expression, in a loud voice and very learned terms. Indeed, he delivered, between the study and the hall

in the proportions of the exterior: 'If you look, my dears, at the cornice which supports the roof, and observe the airiness of its con

leman at an upper window, to whom he spoke-not because the gentleman could hear him

er beauties with his hand, 'that this is the proprietor. I should be glad

ning the w

professional. He heard me inside just now, I have no doubt. Don't

cried the

sniff, taking off his hat. 'I am

ss, will you!' ro

Mr Pecksniff, doubtful of his h

ss!' repeated the

intrude, sir,' Mr Pec

uding. Trespassing. You see a gravel walk, don't you? What do yo

down the window aga

ter helping his daughters and Mrs Todgers into that conveyance, he stood looking at it for some moments, as if he were not quite certain whether it was a ca

, audacious, cunning, dreadful girls as that. They had expected this. They had predicted it to Mrs Todgers, as she (Todgers) could depone, that very morning. To this, they added, that the owner of the house, supposing them to be Miss Pinch's friends, had acted, in their opinion, qu

igned to the footman; which outrage, taken in conjunction with Mr Pecksniff's unobtrusive remarks on the establishment, might possibly have had some share in their dismissal. Poor Miss Pinch, however, had to bear the brunt of it with both parties; being so severely taken to task by th

have liked it all the better. But this was no comfort to the young ladies, who scolded violently the whole way back, and even exhibited, more than once, a keen desire to attack t

ysterious lights in the area; much working at the pump; and a constant jangling of the iron handle of the pail. Shrill altercations from time to time arose between Mrs Todgers and unknown females in remote back kitchens; and sounds were occasionally heard, indicative of small articles of iron mongery and hardware being thrown at the boy. It was the custom of that youth on Saturdays, to roll up his shirt sleeves to his shoulders, and pervade all parts of the hous

door of Mrs Todgers's private room, where they sat alone before the fire, working by the light of a solitary candle, without puttin

fro, 'young ladies, there's soup to-morrow. She's a-making it

ing another knock, he t

ls to-morrow. Not s

called throug

. Don't eat none of him!' And, with

occasion by thrusting the lighted candle into his mouth, and exhibiting his face in a state of transparency; after the performance of which feat, he went on with his professional duties; brightening every knife as he laid it on the table, by b

efore it's ready, B

come up, she was dodging among the tend

ived a manual compliment on the head, which sent him staggering against

n!' said that lady. '

ng his head, on a principle invented by Mr Thoma

ever had to deal with. The gentlemen spoil him to that extent, and teach him

do you go a-lowerin the table-beer for

said Mrs Todgers, holding the door

Miss Pecksniffs by squinting hideously behind the back of the unconscious Mrs Todgers. Having done this justice to his wounded feelings, he retired underground; wh

his nephew George, while meditating in his garden at Camberwell. The gentlemen at Todgers's had a merry habit, too, of bestowing upon him, for the time being, the name of any notorious malefactor or minister; and sometimes when current events were flat they even sought the pages of history for these distinctions; as Mr Pitt, Young Brownrigg,

bakers; and convenient to the gentlemen with reference to their afternoon engagements. But on the Sunday which was to introduce the two Miss Pecksniffs t

dinary magnitude, that one of the gentlemen (remarkable for his ready wit) called him 'collars' on the spot. At about a quarter before five, a deputation, consisting of Mr Jinkins, and another gentleman, wh

the three little windows, with seats in them, commanding the opposite archway, there was another window looking point blank, without any compromise at all about it into Jinkins's bedroom; and high up, all along one side of the wall was a strip of panes of glass, two-deep, giving light to the staircas

Jink!' when Mr Jinkins appeared with Charity on his arm; which became quite rapturous as

ut his own. There was a gentleman of a vocal turn, and a gentleman of a smoking turn, and a gentleman of a convivial turn; some of the gentlemen had a turn for whist, and a large proportion of the gentlemen had a strong turn for billiards and betting. They had all, it may be presumed, a turn for business; being all commercially employed in one way or other; and had, every one in his own way, a decided turn for pleasure to boot. Mr Jinkins was of a fashionable turn; being a regular frequenter of the Parks on Sundays, and knowing a great many carriages by sight. He spoke mysteriously, too,

t there was no hitch in the conversation nevertheless; for one gentleman, who travelled in the perfumery line, exhibited an interesting nick-nack, in the way of a remarkable cake of shaving soap which he had lately met with in Germany; and the gentleman of a literary turn repea

ittles

more facetious spirits in the rear taking down gentlemen as if they were l

to look after them. This done, they fell to with less ceremony than appetite; the table groaning beneath the weight, not only of the delicacies whereof the Miss Pecksniffs had been previously forewarned, but of boiled beef, roast veal, bacon,

with some new admirer every minute. They had hardly ever felt so pleasant, and so full of conversation, in their lives; Mercy, in particular, was uncommonly brilliant, and said so many good th

the spirits of the two Miss Pecksniffs, and the hungry watchfulness of Mrs Todgers, were less worthy of note than the proceedings of this remarkable boy, whom nothing disconcerted or put out of his way. If any piece of crockery, a dish or otherwise, chanced to slip through his hands (which happened once or twice), he let it go with perfect good breeding, and never added to the painful emotions of the company by exhibiting the le

and though they were moist and warm with friction, still there they were again, up to the mark, and true to time. Quarts of almonds;

of half a dozen more of the same size. Good gracious, how they laughed! How they coughed when they sipped it, because it was so strong; and how they laughed again when somebody vowed that but for its colour it might have been mistaken, in regard of its innocuous qu

rise; all rise. Miss Mercy Pecksniff looks downward for her scarf. Where is it? Dear me, where can it be? Sweet girl, she has it on; not on her fair neck, but loose upon her flowing figure. A dozen hands assist her. She is all confusion. The youngest gentleman in company

bt of gratitude. Their rugged natures have been softened and ameliorated that day, by the society of lovely woman. There is a gentleman in company whom two accomplished and delightful females regard with veneration, as the fountain of their existence. Yes, when yet the two Miss Pecksniffs lisped in language scarce intelligible, they call

l turn recites. The vocal gentleman regales them with a song. Gander leaves the Gander of all former feasts whole leagues behind. he rises to propose a toast. It is, The Father of Todgers's. It is their common friend Jink-it is old Jink, if he may call him

ty arising, it can come out quite as strong as its neighbours-perhaps stronger. He reminds them, amidst thunders of encouragement, that they have heard of a somewhat similar establishment in Cannon Street; and that they have heard it praised. He wishes to draw no invidious comparisons; he would be the last man to do it; but

Jinkins. Gander, in a convulsing speech, gives them the health of Bailey junior; hiccups are heard; and a glass is broken. Mr Jinkins feels that it is time to join the ladies. He proposes, as a final sen

nd drops her fan, and there is a rush to pick it up. Being now installed, by one consent, as the beauty of the party, she is cruel and capricious, and sends gentlemen on messages to other gentlemen, and forgets all about them before they can return with the answer, and invents a thousand tortures, rending their hearts to pieces. Bailey brings up the tea and coffee. There is a small cluster of admirers round Ch

of Mrs Todgers. He had also spilt a cup of coffee over his legs without appearing to b

ed you downstairs, si

Mr Pecksniff, 'as I can never think of without em

that lady. 'How low you a

o a father. I am also a widower. My feelings, Mrs Todgers, will not consent to be entirely smothered, like the young chil

intently; shaking his head the while, in a forlorn and imbecile mann

g his glazed eye again upon her, without the leas

cried Mrs Todgers w

r Pecksniff, pointing out the you

had no dou

Pecksniff, 'Charity and Mer

Todgers. 'What a ghastly

, and answered in a solemn manne

d the frighten

ron-ic. A chronic disorder. I have been its victi

bid!' cried

with despair. 'I am rather glad of it, upo

ay, Mr Pecksniff. If any of th

of her memory. For the sake of a voice from the tomb.

may say that!' c

owing with despondency. 'These young people about us. Oh! what sense have

ted, and said '

said Mr Pecksniff, with, dismal tendernes

s Todgers. 'Real

ff. 'Don't suppose it's me; it

stuttering voice, and to say the truth somewhat of a drunken voice, if it had ever borne much re

still it has been a day of torture. It has remin

eman, Mr Pecksniff,

in that too,' cried

an living,' said Mrs

aid, 'thank you. It is a great happiness to me, Mrs Todgers, to make young people happy. The

said Mrs

her to advance her ear a little closer to his mouth. 'When they say they haven't improved, ma'am, and the premium was too h

they must be!'

you for that observation. A word in your ear. To Paren

, of course!'

f the best practical architectural education with the comforts of a home, and the constant association with some, who

erchance remember, Mr Pecksniff's usual form of advertisement when he wanted a pupil; and seemed to have no particul

ires to avail himself of such an opportunity for a young gentleman? An orphan

flected, and s

y, by letter post-paid, to S. P., Post Office, Salisbury. I don't know who he is exactly. Don't be alarmed, Mrs Todger

!' cried Mrs Todgers, aloud, 'y

f ineffable wisdom. Gradually it gave place to a smile; a feeble, helpless, melancholy smile; bland, almost to sickliness. 'Do not repine, my friends,' said Mr

a second. Yes, before a hair upon his head was

an in company, who with a noble self-devotion did the heavy work, and held up Mr Pecksniff's head without being taken notice of by anybody. At last they gathered

ay; but they got him there in course of time. He asked them frequently on the road for a little drop of something to drink. It seemed an

eemed disposed to sleep, they left him. But before they had all gained the bottom of the staircase, a vision of Mr Pecksniff, strange

'let us improve our minds by mutual inquiry and discussion. Le

hat gentleman.

u have woke me too soon, I must slumber again. If any young orphan will repeat the remaind

volun

duction. Compare them with wooden legs, and observe the difference between the anatomy of nature and the anatomy of art. Do you know,' said Mr Pecksniff, leaning over the banisters, w

before he was out again; nor, when they had repeated the process, had they descended the first flight, before he was out again. In a word, as often as he was shut up in his own room, he darted out afresh, char

rs in search of Bailey junior, with whom he presently returned. That youth having been apprised of the service required of him, was in great s

toms of an apoplectic nature, with which the patient might be troubled, and, in case of any such presenting themselves, to summon them without delay. To whi