John Brown

ite funny at times. We called him 'Blasé Percy.' He had been at Mons, the Marne, and Ypres. Half his nose was off; he had a glass eye, a dummy h

ant, don't have a woodbine between your lips and your hands in your pockets. He will eat you alive. When I was a sub. I saved myself an awful lot of trouble by cutting the English Dictionary down to two words-"Yes, sir." If you're not brainy, that's quite a good scheme. The adjutant will mark you down as decent and harmless, and the men won't know. Of course, this beastly war has upset our easy old system. You've got to be intelligent to please the newspapers. It's a bit of a bore, but the best people a

battalion to which I was attached, a gorgeous youth barged in and presented his card to the adjutant as if he were a com

D TIDDLEW

. Bombin

add

e." Re

ot

officers are officers. We control the actions of millions of men, and it's not at all a bad thing to make the British Army a school for etiquette and good manners. Ted, I may tell you, was an advertising agent in civil life. He simply couldn't help getting that card printed. From h

TIDDL

. Bombin

aper poster to announce his commission or importance. The uniform is good enough, and it's a mighty good kit, too. Ted was such a good fellow, so willing, so gener

sir?' I

g to marry

r, h

gel-so is Ted good-looking-and when she asked my ben

there he had to deal with grafters and twisters. To get business he had to give palm-oil by the gallon. He was not at all a desirable fellow. He wanted short cuts to success, and didn't like the daily grind of orderly officer, drill, marching, &c. Somehow or other he suddenly conceived the idea that by patronage he might buy a colonelcy or a brigadier's job. S

t on this from mere vanity. It is really discipline, and as all of you may be colonels some day, you will realise the benefit of the system. Another custom is, when you meet the C.O., the major, or the adjutant in the morning, sa

e; and when you finish a course, put your knife and fork together. When a mess servant sees a new officer leave his knife and fork sprawling all over the plate he says nothing-but he thinks a lot. He really

please," seldom "thanks;" while Faith, Hope, and Charity are absent from his curriculum. His whole life is based on brute-power, the penal code, and-orders. What a difference from the British Army! Our discipline is the firmest, yet the kindest, in the world, simply becaus

must go and ask his permission. On a guest-night you must not leave the room, except

in brief, which I call the

halt drink

or yellow shoes, or carry Mills gren

address generals a

t not kiss V.A

to the V.C.-if thou c

e, even when thy cal

to sing, dance, and be merry,

s blood, his ox, and his ass, and

shalt be c

Motherland, that thy labours may g

w, gentlemen,' concluded the