Child of a Century, Complete

atigued me to the point of exhaustion." Such are the simple words spoken with reference to his youth by a man who was the most manly of any who

ted with me: not so was I with him. The more I went about, the more unhappy I became. It seemed to me after a short time that the world which had at first

asked what

er with you? Have you lost some relat

s swam; or in the middle of the night took horses and rode ten or twelve leagues into the country; returning to the bath, t

asure in doing so. When I had actually done what I claimed, I felt nothing but ennui, but when I invented an account of some folly, some story o

sociations I became stupid, went off by myself, looked gloomily at the trees and bushes as i

truth is nudity bese

chambermaids; he drinks in his wine the tears of the poor in spirit who believe in him; while the sun is high in the heavens he walks about with downcast eye;

, the skeleton was under the body. "Is it possible that that is all?" I asked in spite of myself.

resume my place in the world of society. The sight of women caused me intolerable pain

t distinguished woman whom it had ever been my good fortune to meet. When I closed my eyes to sleep I saw her image before me. I thought I was lost, and I at once resolved

at I admired the discernment of the world: in proportion as I had passed for inexperienced and sensitive at the time of my rupture with my mistress, I was now considered corrupt and hardened. Some one had just told me that it

t make any headway with the women; my head was filled with chimeras which I preferred to realities. In short, my unique pleasure consisted in altering the nature

der to appear original. According to my idea, nothing was good or even tolerable; nothing was worth the trouble of turning the head, and yet when I had become warmed up in a discussi

ct. Although disgusted with the life I w

te a quel

rovar posa in

ta suo dolore

ange, and I fell into all these vagar

o laughed and a man who wept. It was a perpetual struggle between my head and my heart. My own mock

skeleton in his bed and then concealed themselves in an adjoining room to wait for his return. They did not hear any

ones are those of a well-beloved skeleton; they are the

ourselves libertines. One of them was infatuated with a beautiful singer, who charmed us with her fresh and expressive voice. How many times we sat listening to her while supper was waiting! How many times, when the flagons had been emptie

ts that he might have been a poet in delirium. But after these effusions he would be seized with furious joy. When warmed by wine he would break everyt

a class which ought to exist somewhere but which was unknown to me. One could never tell w

rses; then, pretending we had just come from the ball, set up a great cry. The coachman started up, cracked his whip, and his horses started off on a trot, leaving him seated on the box. That same evening we had passed through the Champs Elysees; Desgenais, seeing another carriage passing, stopped it after the manner of a highwayman; he intimidated the coachman by

birds. There is no resemblance between the different quarters of the same city, and the denizen of the Chaussee d'Antin has as much to learn at Marais as at Lisbon. It is true that these various whirlpools are traversed, and have

jects, "where are th

a dream, what shall I say of you? Where there is no shadow of hope can there be memory? Where shall I

men I will mention tw

yes all day long on a dress or a hat, she leans out of that window as night falls? That dress she has sewed, that hat she has trimmed with her poor and honest hands in order to earn a supper for the household, she sees passing along the street on the head or on the body of a notorious woman. Thirty times a day a hired carriage stops before the door, and there steps out a dissolute character, numbered as is the hack in which she rides, who stands before a glass and primps, t

many times have I regarded with poignant compassion that sad work of nature, mutilated by society! How many times have I followed in the darkness the pale and vacillating gleams of a sp

left her she would fold her arms and for hours look silently across the public square. What days! What misery! One day I threatened that if she did not work she should have no money; she silently resumed her task, and I learned that

is anot

d to Desgenais's, who had left us some hours before to make his prepa

ers were girls f

converse. It is truly to possess a woman, in a certain sense, to hold her for a half hour in your arms, and to draw her on in the dance, palpitating in spite of herself, in such a way that it can not be positively asserted whether she is being protected or seduced. Some deliver themselves up to t

her's skin. Never have I seen anything so languishing as that creature. She was tall and slender, and while dancing with extreme rapidity, had the appearan

erfumed veil of silk. At each turn there could be heard a light tinkling from her metal girdle; she moved so gracefully that I thought I beheld a beautiful star, and her smile was that of a fairy about to vanish fro

life holding between thy lips the apple of temptation. Oh! Melusina! Melusina! The hearts of men are thine. You know it well, enchantress, with your soft languor that seems to suspect nothing! You know very well that you ruin, that you destroy; you know that he who touches you will suffer; you know that he dies who

of humanity, man the muscular." Humboldt himself, that serious think

and kills us-without our seeking to deepen the shadows that surround us. But where is the man who thinks he has lived that will deny woman's power over us? Has he ever taken leave of a beautiful dancer with trembling hands? Has he ever felt that indefinab

that she should excite such heart-throbs, that she should evoke such phantoms with nothing but her beauty, her flowers, her motley costume, and a certain trick of dancing she h

animal had aroused a responsive roar from another animal in my nature. I felt sure I could never tell that woman that I loved her, or that she pleased me, or even that she was beautiful; there was nothing on my lips

and asked what

hat woman

? Of whom d

hall. The Italian saw us coming an

ais, "you have da

Marco?"

who is laughing over th

th her and wanted to know her name;

us, but when Desgenais t

ne of his friends brought her here. Yet," he added, "you may rest assured I shall speak to her. We shall not allow you t

to see him approach her. But t

heavens! is this what I am going to love? But after al

A few minutes later Desgena

once," said he. "You wil

es with the fumes of the forge. He fixes his staring eyes on the dazzling skin of his prey. His happiness in the possession of his prize mak

made no reply; taking me

ad; this noise wearies me. Let us

plendid, but I c

atter with you

o reply and looking at her fr

which reflected the glittering lights on its thousand sparkling facets, shining like the prism and revealing the seven colors of the rainbow. She li

esenting it to me, "

" I said, presenting

ed my glass, unable to conceal the s

t good?"

I re

your he

N

u are

N

t is the en

r in spite of herself, in speaking of l

then fixed and empty; I know not what wind stirred above this drunkenness. A woman rises, as in a tranquil sea the first wave that feels the tempest's breath foams up to announce it; she makes a sign with her hand to command silence, empties her glass at a gulp and with the same movement

r. It was impossible to distinguish any

hink of it?" a

"I have stopped my ear

remained mute, drinking nothing and leaning quietly on her

d. "You have just offered me Cyprian wi

the brim. She raised it to her lips and then place

by anything. It appeared as difficult to anger her as to please her; she did what was asked of her, but no more. I thought

o you wish to beloved? Are you fond of money, of pleasure, of what? H

mile that expressed neither joy nor sorrow, but which

me a listless kiss and then passe

d, "woe to him

ing her finger with that Italian gesture which can not be imitate

or

led and others were lighted. I recalled a supper of Petronius, where the lights went out around the drunken masters, and the slaves entered and stole the silver. All the while songs were being sung in

I to Marco,

e and to

Desgenais to me,

not understand such a woman; she seemed to experience neither desire nor disgust, and

d silk. Upon entering I was struck with the strong odor of Turkish pastilles, not such as are sold here on the streets, but those of Constantinople, which are more powerful and m

rapidly I felt my desires subside. I do not know whether it was some magnetic influence or her silence

Man, free from exterior attractions, falls back upon himself; he hears himself live. In spite of my fatigue I co

u doing ther

tle sigh that wa

e first gleams of morning light

bright light penetrated every cor

perhaps she had other quarters, for she sometimes received a number of visitors. Her lover's friends sometimes visited her, and th

little mounds, a sort of sylvan school, while I read in the cool shade some book filled with foolish poetry! For such, alas, were the extravagances of my childhood. I saw many souvenirs of the past among those leafless trees and faded lawns. There, when ten years of age, I had walked with my brother and my tutor, throwing bits of bread to some

re there!" I cried. "Oh,

changed the aspect of the room; the hangings which had at first appeared blue

ndows. A piece of paper caught my eye; it was an open letter and I looked at it mechanically. I read it several times before I thought what I was doing. Suddenly a gleam of in

join my companion; go to the closet and take down the cloth that hangs on a nail; it is the mate of the other.' I

d letter made on me; I turned it over and saw on the other s

ad?" I cried going to t

s. She saw me with t

e said, "who is dead.

e she exten

, "sleep, and lea

her for some time to assure myself that she wou