The Genial Idiot

e chase, who love the open, and who would commune with Nature in her most lovely mood. Just look out of that window, Mr. Idiot, and drink in the joyous

e blossoming buckwheats. Furthermore, I've been enjoying the chase for two weeks now, and, to tell you the honest truth, I am long on it. There is such a thing as chasing too much, so if you don't mind I'll sublet my part of the co

. Idiot?" asked the Doctor. "Bi

said th

ts," said the Bibliomaniac. "I thought they just walked

explained the Idiot. "It's the flat

quiringly. Mr. Idiot's an

g greater dignity than running forty miles through the cabbage-patches of Long Island in search of a bag of ainse seed. When the sporting instinct arises in my soul and reaches that full-tide where nothing short of action will hold it in control, I never think of starting for Maine to shoot the festive moose, nor do I squander my limited resources on a foggy hunt for the elusive canvasback in the Maryland marshes. I just go to the

have queer ideas of what is educational. I must say I fail

that's where flat-hunting comes in as an educational diversion. Of course, all men are not interested in the same line of investigation. You, as a bibliomaniac, prefer to go hunting rare first editions; Dr. Pellet, armed to the teeth with capsules, lies in wait for a pot-shot at some new kind of human ailment, and rejoices as loudly over the discovery of a new disease as you do over finding a copy of the rare first edition of the Telephone Book for 1899; another man goes

said the Lawyer. "What the dickens do you get

n the last three weeks, and I know whereof I speak. I have seen the gorgeous apartments of the Redmere, where you can get a Louis Quinze drawing-

y bedrooms?" aske

nine, and brilliantly lighted by electricity. There was also a small pigeon-hole in a corrugated iron shack on the roof fo

"Do they expect children to l

he terms of your lease to send them to boarding-school; and if you haven't any, the lease requires that you shall promise to have none during your tena

y, live in such places as tha

end their winters at Palm Beach, their springs in London, their summer

home at all if that's the way

"You've got to have an address to ge

retty steep for an address,

town. Three of the most important divorces of the last social season took place at the Redmere. Social position comes high, Mr. B

r apartment?" asked Mr. Pedagog. "You have frequently stated that

are willing to dispense with the southern exposure you can get three Black Holes of Calcutta and a butler's pantry, in the same neighborhood, for sixteen hundred dollars, but you have to provide your own air. Farther down-town you will occasionally find the thing you want with a few extras in the shape of cornet-players, pianola-bangers, and peroxide sopranos on either side of you, and an osteopathic veterinary surgeon on the ground floor thrown in. Then there are paper flats that can be had for twelve hundred dollars, but you can't have any pictures in them, because the walls won't stand the weight, and any nail of reasonable length would stick through into the next apartment. A friend of mine lived in one of these affairs once, and when he inadvertently leaned against the wall one night he fell through into his neighbor's bath-tub. Of course, that sort of thing promotes sociability; but for a home most people want just a little privacy. And so the list runs on. Y

f things that would be educational to you that I should regard as sym

and gloat over the miseries of the flat-dwellers. As long as I can do that

s. Pedagog. "I was a bit fearful, Mr. Idiot,

u couldn't get me out of here with a crow-bar. If I did not have entire confidence in your lovely house