The University of Hard Knocks

The B

cide Our

get wisdom, understanding, happiness, strength, success and greatness.

in front. There was one barrel full of big, red, fat apples. I rushed over and got a sack of the big, red, fat appl

g to spoil his sign, had reached down under the top layer. He must have reached to the bottom, for he gave me the worst mess of

n purpose? Does the groceryman ever put the big

e a groceryman

roceryman does not put the big ones on top and the little ones down underneath. He does not need to do

o Their

u ever see a corduroy road? It was a layer of logs in the mud. Riding over it was the poetry of motion! The wagon "hit the high spots." And as I hauled a wagon-bed full of apples to the

ee most things before you see them? I saw that when I played marbles. The big marbles w

ittle things of about the same density in a box or other container and shake them. You will see the larger things shake upward and the smaller shake down

shake on till doomsday, but you cannot

l shake back as they were before, the larg

res i

glass jar more than half-filled with

pardon me for bringing such a simple and crude apparatus before you in a lecture, but I ask your forbearance. I am discovering that we can hear faster thru the

st be lectures in cans. This is a canned

e up. Not one bean asks, "Which way do I go?" Not one walnut asks, "Which way do I go?" E

en shake. Note that they arrange t

wn in the bottom saying, "Help me! Help me! I am so unfortunate and lo

you." So I lift him up to the top. See!

bean. And I hear him say, "King's ex! I slipped. Try that

akes back to the bottom. He is too small

nnot get to the top, you make them big ones

n top, get down. You Big Nuts get right down there on

ght back to the top with the same shakes th

their place in the can. Lifting them up or putti

the little one grow bigger and he will shake up. L

ing Barr

life on the way to the market place of the future. It

speckled apples, green apples, and dried apples. A bad boy o

ime. Every community is shaking, every place is shaking. The offices, the shops, the stores, the schools, the

in that can is shaking every person to the place he fits in the ba

to some big place, or when we want some big person to be put down to some

ze determines. We must get ready for pla

o anybody is to be artificially booste

g like a train and if we do not get to the depot in time our train of destiny w

stiny. If we are great we shall have a g

Queens o

are not helpless victims of blind fate. We are not creatures of chance. W

ome great. And when we have reached the place our size

we wish to go down, we must grow smaller and we shall shake down

e of three things consc

holding h

is goi

is goi

lace. If he shrinks up he will rattle. Nobody can stay long where he

ly the loss by evaporation. Evaporation is going steadily on in liv

pel Pr

it. And when you are in your places-in stores, shops, offices or elsewhere, if yo

for promotion, you compel promotion. You grow greater, enlarge your dimensions, develop new capab

rious sizes of objects. When an employee would come into the office and say, "Isn't it about time I was getting a raise?" I would say, "Go s

ck" and

people shake up and the unlucky people shake down. That is, the

and the big ones shook up. The bump that was bad luck to the little ones wa

e direction of the bump, but

Lucky

es like that of the Chicago house where a number of young ladies worked. Some of them had been there for a long time.

her and played jokes upon h

er that green

ade many blunders. But it is now recalled that she never made the sam

over something else that ought to be done, and she would go right on working, contrary to the rules of

he work they had been put at, they would wait-O, so

. She had learned more about business in three months than the others had learned in all the time

is giving orders to all of them, fo

was the rankest favoritism ever known. "There was nothing fair about it. Je

Unluc

asked the man working there some questions about the machine, which he answered fairly well. Then I asked

in there." I asked him about the pulpmill. He replied, "No, I don't know nothing about that, neith

have you w

twelve

ee that man over there at the supercalendered machine?" p

indest-hearted men we ever had in the works, but we've got to let him go. We're afrai

Nobody can stay where he

arrel th

up and down. You may have noticed two brothers start with the same chanc

me of us begin down in the shade on the bottom branches, and we do not even get invited. We often become discouraged as we look at the

w. Everybo

here the real people do not often ask us, "On what branch of that tree did

atal

go on doing pretty much the same things over and over. Ev

oys in our daily routine or we become unhappy. If we go on doing just the same things in the same way day after day, thinking the same thoughts, our eyes glued to precedents-ju

learning, growing, going forward and upwar

merchant to hold his place among his competitors. The minister must be getting larger visions of the ministry as he goes back into the same old pulpit to

anybody stays in the same place year aft

e place i

ish Your Child." I know the schools generally mean all right, but I fear the students will get the idea they are bein

here is to know about that. You can't tell me

the man, the more an

n't get along without me." For I feel that they are getting ready to get

heir ears open for ratt

ng backward with pride and talking about "in my day!" For it is mostly rattle

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young person (or any other person) who does not want a great place. I would not gi

to go after it and get it. If we do not have pull en

e grown as great as the place we would be a great joke, for we would rattle. And when

y getting into his father's boots. He is in great boots, but he rattles. He must grow gre

y for things bef

eparation for

Master was thirty years getting ready to do three years work. S

he "punk." We can be a mushroom in a day, with the acce

ho has the most testimonials generally needs them most to kee

l do him some good. Anyhow, I have gotten him off my hands." I heard a Chica

ople, for the higher you boost

of the Pr

in very many lines, they are often useful to introduce a stranger. A letter of introduction is

eaning upon them. Then they become a mirror for

hindered my progress by reading my press-notices instead of listening to the verdict of my audiences. I avoided frank criticism. It would hurt me. Whenever I heard an adverse critic

y bump would

big for the audience! The editors of America-God bless them! They are always trying to boost a home e

people, not p

n you can keep still and see every fibre of you and your work mercilessly dissec

ificial

ring up, fail, wail, disappear, only to be succeeded by twice as many more. They fail b

tay uplifted. They rattle back, and "the last

the naked, but that is not helping them, that is propping them. The beggar who asks you to help him does no

ou cannot help many people, for there are not many people wi

gar had been "helped." Every day as they laid him at the gate people would pass thru the gate and see him. He would s

more helpless and a more hopeless cripple. No doubt he belonged after a few days of the "helping" to the

e I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the

ople, Not

ce." But if chances had been snakes, I would have been bitte

ied to see how little I could do and look like I was working. I was the Artful Dodger of Section Sixteen. When the whistle would

hat bank. I wondered why I was not sitting upon one of those mahogany seats instead of pumping a handcar. I was na

versation? It generally comes from

in about fifteen minutes, down to the peanut row, for I was only a peanut. Remember, the hand-car job is just a

p into a king. But life's good fairies see to it that the clodhopper is

le others is to le

gs. I'll pass laws requiring all apples to be the same size. Yes, I'll pass laws to turn the ba

was the top, the big ones would shake right up to i

ast as he grows. You cannot fix the barrel.

fix himself, is the one who wants to get the most laws pa

Cruel

I wanted them! They would have been coffee-pots. Thank goodnes

d them! But a cruel fate would not let us have them. Today we have them. They come to us as naturally

ur reach. O, how we want them! But a

s? As we grow greater we have greater things. We have today all we c

up is gr

s just waiting and anxious to shake e