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The Newcomes

Chapter 5 Clive’s Uncles

Word Count: 7055    |    Released on: 06/12/2017

t this time at Nerot's Hotel, in Clifford Street, where Mr. Clive, too, found the good cheer a great deal more to his taste than the homely, though plentiful, fare at Grey Friars, at whic

al more to my liking than my relations with Clive's City uncles, which have been men

ehind the glazed partition I could see the bald heads of Newcome Brothers engaged with other capitalists or peering over the newspaper, I would as soon have thought of walking into the Doctor's own library at Grey Friars, or of volunteering to take an armchair in a dentist's studio, and have a tooth out, as of entering into that awful precinct. My good uncle, on the other hand, the late Major Pendennis, who kept naturally but a very small account with Hobsons', would walk into the parlour and salute the two magnates who governed there with th

house. I recommend you to go for a few minutes whenever you are asked." And go I accordingly did sometimes, though I always fancied, rightly or wrongly, from Mrs. Newcome's manner to me, that she knew I had but thirty shillings left at the bank. Once and again, in two or three years, Mr. Hobson Newcome would meet me, and ask me to fill a vacant place that day or the next evening at his table; which invitation I might accept or otherwise. But one does not eat a man's salt, as it were, at these dinners. There is nothing sacred in this kind of London hospitality. Your white waistcoat fills a gap in a man's table, and retires filled f

spect)-once or twice in a year Lady Anne Newcome opened her saloons for a concert and a ball, at both of which the whole street was crowded with carriages, and all the great world, and some of the small,

de about her. Her brother-in-law, poor dear Brian-considering everybody knows everything in London, was there ever such a delusion as his?-was welcome, after banking-hours, to forsake his own friends for his wife's fine relations, and to dangle after lords and ladies in Mayfair. She had no such absurd vanity-not she. She imparted these opinions pretty liberally to all her acquaintances in almost all her conversations. It was clear that the two ladies were best apart. There are some folks who will see insolence in persons of rank, as there are others who will insist; that all clergymen are hypocrites, all reformers villains, all placemen plunderers, and so forth; and Mrs. Newcome never, I am sure, imagined that she had a prejudice, or that she was other than an honest, independent, high-spiri

ildren, bewildered but not ill-pleased to get away from the sermon, and summon John from the back seats to bring away the bag of prayer-books! Many a good dinner did Charles Honeyman lose by assuming that unlucky ephod. Why did the high-priest of his diocese order him to put it on? It was delightful to view him afterwards, and the airs of martyrdom which he assumed. Had they been going to tear him to pieces with wild beasts next day, he could scarcely have looked more meek, or resigned himself more pathetically to the perse

nker's lady was the secret reason for this unfavourable sketch of her character, let me be allowed to report, as accurately as I can remember them, the words of a kinsman of her own, -- Giles

a one as any I ever put my legs under. You didn't have twice of turtle, sir, I remarked that-I always do, at that house especially, for I know where Newcome gets it. We belong to

'there's some dinner in the Square at half-past seven: I wish you would go and fetch Louisa, whom we haven't seen this ever so long.' Louisa is my wife, sir-Maria's sister-Newcome married that gal from my house. 'No, no,' says I, 'Hobson; Louisa's engaged nursing number eight'-that's our numb

t, had declined. Giles continued talking-"I'm an old stager, I am. I don't mind the rows between the women. I believe Mrs. Newcome and Lady Newcome's just as bad too; I know Maria is always driving at her one way or the other, and calling her proud and aristocratic, and that; and yet my wife sa

e, "the banking-house of Hobson Brothers, or Newcome Brothers, as the partners of the firm really are, is not one of the leading banking firms of the City of London, but a most respectable house of many years' standing, and doing a most respectable business, especially in the Dissenting conn

ick the Great said of his sister, that she was sexu foemina, vir ingenio-in sex a woman, and in mind a man. Nor was she, my informant told me, without even manly personal characteristics: she had a very deep and gruff voice, and in her old age a beard which many a young man might envy; and as she came into the ban

remains to their final resting-place. No less than nine sermons were preached at various places of public worship regarding her end. She fell upstairs at a very advanced age, going from the library to the bedroom, after all the household was gone to rest, and was found by the maids in the morning, inarticulate, but still alive, her head being cut frightfully with the bedroom candle with which she was retiring to her apartment. "And," said Mr

Sir Thomas Newcome's own son, a harum-scarum lad, who ran away, and then was sent to India; and, between ourselves, Mr. Hobson and Mr. Brian both, the present Baronet, though at home they were as mum as Quakers at a meeting, used to go out on the sly, sir, and be off to the play, sir, and sowed their wild oats like any other young men, sir, like any other young men. Law bless me,

court-cards at his table, Mr. Hobson couldn't stand it. They weren't of his suit, he said; and for some time he said he wasn't a marrying man-quite the contrary; but we all come to our fate, you know, and his time came as mine did. You know we married sisters? It was thought a fine match

y, and cut off from all respectable sympathy. Their father had never had the courage to acquaint them with his more true, and kind, and charitable version of Tom's story. So he passed at home for no better than a black sheep; his marriage with a penniless young lady did not tend to raise him in the esteem of his relatives at Clapham; it was not until he was a wido

fellow, and point morals out of him. If he falls among thieves, the respectable Pharisees of his race turn their heads aside and leave him penniless and bleeding. They clap him on the back kindly enough when he returns, after shipwreck, with money in his pocket. How naturally Joseph's brothers made salaams to him, and admired him, and did him honour, when they found the poor outcast a prime m

mmer. Then Lord H., a late Governor-General, coming home, and meeting the brothers at a grand dinner at the Albion, given by the Court of Directors to his late Excellency, spoke to the bankers about that most distinguished officer their relative; and Mrs. Hobson drove over to see his aunt, where the boy was; gave him a sovereign out of her purse, and advised strongly that he should be sent to Timpany's along wit her own boy. Then Clive went from one uncle's house to another; and was liked at both; and much preferred ponies to ride, going out after rabbits with the keeper, mon

ntial young clerk went round by way of Grey Friars Square to ask after him; the sea being recommended to him, Mrs. Newcome gave him change of air in Sussex, and transferred him to his maternal aunt at Brighton. Then it was bonjour. As the lodge-gates closed upon him, Mrs. Newcome's heart shut up too and confined itself within the firs, laurels, and palings which bound the home preci

Mrs. Martha Honeyman so fond of her nephew? I never could count how many causes went to produce any given effect or action in a person's life, and have been for my own part many a time quite misled in my own case, fancying some grand, some magnanimous, some virtuous reason, for an act of which I was proud, when lo! some pert little satirical monitor springs up inwardly, upsetting the fond humbug which I was cherishing-the peacock's tail wherein my absurd vanity had clad itself-and says, "Away with this boasting! I am the cause of your virtue, my lad. You are pleased that yesterday at dinner you refrained from the dry champagne? My name is Worldly Prudence, not Self-denial, and I caused you to refrain. You are pleased because you gave a guinea to Diddler? I am Laziness, not Generosity, which inspired you. You hug yourself because you resisted other temptation? Coward! it was because you dared not run the risk of the wrong. Out with your peacock's plumage! walk off in the feathers which Nature gave you, and thank Heaven they are not altogether black." In a word, Aunt Honeyman was a kind soul, and such was the splendour of Clive's father, of his gifts, his generosity, his military services, and companions

ir dinner, they were all hurrying to the cuddy table, and busy over their meal. What a sad repast their parents had that day! How their hearts followed the careless young ones home across the great ocean! Mothers' prayers go with them. Strong men, alone on their knees, with streaming eyes and broken accents, implore Heaven for those little ones, who were prattling at their sides but a few hours since. Long after they are gone, careless and happ

ory! Besides that official history which fills Gazettes, and embroiders banners with names of victory; which gives moralists and enemies cause to cry out at English rapine; and enables patriots to boast of invincible British valour-besides the splendour and conquest, the wealth and glory, the crowned ambition, the conquered danger, the vast prize, and the blood freely shed in winning it-should not one remember the tears, too? Besides the lives of myriads of British men, conquering on a hundred fields, from Plassey to Meanee, and bathing them cruore nostro: think of the women, and the

of old maids, old bachelors, and sensible persons; but the darling of all nurseries, to whose little inhabitants he was uniformly kind: were they the collectors

aged ten days after her landing at Calcutta? or why should Miss Smith have half a dozen proposals before she has been a week at the station? And it is not only bachelors on whom the young ladies confer their affections; they will take widowers without any difficulty; and

and installed her there as he would have received a traveller into his bungalow. He divided his meal with her, and made her welcome to his best. "I believe Tom Newcome married her," sly Mr. Binnie used to say, "in order that he might have permission to pay her milliner's bills;" and in this way he was amply gratified until the day of her death. A feeble miniature of the lady, with yellow ringlets and a guitar, hung over the mantelpiece of the Colonel's bedchamber, where I have often seen that work of art; and subsequently, when he and Mr. Binnie took a house, there was hung up in the spare bedroom a companion portrai

's house, whose name she now bears. The lovely widow Wilkins, with two darling little children, stopped at Newcome's hospitable house, on her way to Calcutta; and it was thought she might never leave it; but her kind host, as was his wont, crammed her children with presents and good things, consoled and entertained the fair widow, and one morning, after she had remained three months at the station, the Colonel's palanquins and bearers made their appe

the youngster. He was of a nature so uncontrollably generous, that to be sure he spent five rupees where another would save them, and make a fine show besides; but it is not a man's gifts or hospitalities that generally injure his fortune. It is on themselves that prodigals spend most. And as Newcome had no personal extravagances, and the smallest selfi

sinuisse feros. I shall be able to help him with my knowledge of the world, and to keep him out of the way of sharpers and a pack of rogues who commonly infest young men. I will make myself his companion, and pretend to no superiority; for, indeed, isn't he my superior? Of course he is, with his advantages. He hasn't been an idle young scamp as I was. And we will travel together, first through England, Scotland, and Ireland, for every man should know his own country, and then we will make the grand tour. Then, by the time he is eighteen, he

he Colosseum, and kiss the Pope's toe. We shall go up the Rhine to Switzerland, and over the Simplon, the work of the great Napoleon. By Jove, sir, think of the Turks before Vienna, and Sobieski clearing eighty thousand of 'em off the face of the earth! How my boy will rejoi

rect the commanding officer's Latin. "Don't ye noo that Prence Eugene was about as

elight in them! The boy's talent for drawing is wonderful, sir, wonderful. He sent me a picture of our old school-the very actual thin

and sporting young men would give or take odds that the Colonel would mention Clive's name, once before five minutes, three times in ten minutes, twenty-five times in the course of

mander-in-Chief, in general orders, has announced that in giving to Lieutenant-Colonel Thomas Newcome, C.B., of the Bengal Cavalry, leave for the first time, after no less than thirty-four years' absence from home, "he (Sir George Hustler) cannot refrain from expressing his sense of the

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1 Chapter 1 The Overture—After which the Curtain rises upon a Drinking Chorus2 Chapter 2 Colonel Newcome’s Wild Oats3 Chapter 3 Colonel Newcome’s Letter-box4 Chapter 4 In which the Author and the Hero resume their Acquaintance5 Chapter 5 Clive’s Uncles6 Chapter 6 Newcome Brothers7 Chapter 7 In which Mr. Clive’s School-days are over8 Chapter 8 Mrs. Newcome at Home (a Small Early Party)9 Chapter 9 Miss Honeyman’s10 Chapter 10 Ethel and her Relations11 Chapter 11 At Mrs. Ridley’s12 Chapter 12 In which everybody is asked to Dinner13 Chapter 13 In which Thomas Newcome sings his Last Song14 Chapter 14 Park Lane15 Chapter 15 The Old Ladies16 Chapter 16 In which Mr. Sherrick lets his House in Fitzroy Square17 Chapter 17 A School of Art18 Chapter 18 New Companions19 Chapter 19 The Colonel at Home20 Chapter 20 Contains more Particulars of the Colonel and his Brethren21 Chapter 21 Is Sentimental, but Short22 Chapter 22 Describes a Visit to Paris; with Accidents and Incidents23 Chapter 23 In which we hear a Soprano and a Contralto24 Chapter 24 In which the Newcome Brothers once more meet together in25 Chapter 25 Is passed in a Public-house26 Chapter 26 In which Colonel Newcome’s Horses are sold27 Chapter 27 Youth and Sunshine28 Chapter 28 In which Clive begins to see the World29 Chapter 29 In which Barnes comes a-wooing30 Chapter 30 A Retreat31 Chapter 31 Madame la Duchesse32 Chapter 32 Barnes’s Courtship33 Chapter 33 Lady Kew at the Congress34 Chapter 34 The End of the Congress of Baden35 Chapter 35 Across the Alps36 Chapter 36 In which M. de Florac is promoted37 Chapter 37 Return to Lord Kew38 Chapter 38 In which Lady Kew leaves his Lordship quite convalescent39 Chapter 39 Amongst the Painters40 Chapter 40 Returns from Rome to Pall Mall41 Chapter 41 An Old Story42 Chapter 42 Injured Innocence43 Chapter 43 Returns to some Old Friends44 Chapter 44 In which Mr. Charles Honeyman appears in an Amiable Light45 Chapter 45 A Stag of Ten46 Chapter 46 The Hotel de Florac47 Chapter 47 Contains two or three Acts of a Little Comedy48 Chapter 48 In which Benedick is a Married Man49 Chapter 49 Contains at least six more Courses and two Desserts50 Chapter 50 Clive in New Quarters51 Chapter 51 An Old Friend52 Chapter 52 Family Secrets53 Chapter 53 In which Kinsmen fall out54 Chapter 54 Has a Tragical Ending55 Chapter 55 Barnes’s Skeleton Closet56 Chapter 56 Rosa quo locorum sera moratur57 Chapter 57 Rosebury and Newcome58 Chapter 58 “One more Unfortunate”59 Chapter 59 In which Achilles loses Briseis60 Chapter 60 In which we write to the Colonel61 Chapter 61 In which we are introduced to a New Newcome62 Chapter 62 Mr. and Mrs. Clive Newcome63 Chapter 63 Mrs. Clive at Home64 Chapter 64 Absit Omen65 Chapter 65 In which Mrs. Clive comes into her Fortune66 Chapter 66 In which the Colonel and the Newcome Athenaeum are both lectured67 Chapter 67 Newcome and Liberty68 Chapter 68 A Letter and a Reconciliation69 Chapter 69 The Election70 Chapter 70 Chiltern Hundreds71 Chapter 71 In which Mrs. Clive Newcome’s Carriage is ordered72 Chapter 72 Belisarius73 Chapter 73 In which Belisarius returns from Exile74 Chapter 74 In which Clive begins the World75 Chapter 75 Founder’s Day at the Grey Friars76 Chapter 76 Christmas at Rosebury77 Chapter 77 The Shortest and Happiest in the Whole History78 Chapter 78 In which the Author goes on a Pleasant Errand79 Chapter 79 In which Old Friends come together80 Chapter 80 In which the Colonel says “Adsum” when his Name is called