With the Battle Fleet

use Amphitrite Pick the Ship President Roosevelt Once Sailed on for Their Visit-Rest of the Fleet Only Thought He Was on Board-Court Phy

Louisiana, U.

eiro, J

x! Long liv

r and headed for Mount Ararat. More than 14,000 officers and men of the United States Navy, practically one-half of its membership, crossed the equator at longitude 37° 11' W., and of those fully 12,5

ng, by all the mermaids, sea serpents, whales, sharks, dolphins, skates, eels, suckers, lobsters, crabs, pollywogs and jellyfish, who could ever take possession of the United States Navy. And by the selfsame creatures

ee. It was the most elaborate, painstaking, well planned, rip snorting initiation of the kind ever produced. For be it known t

is that he honored the Louisiana alone with his personal presence and had to send representatives to the other ships. He said he came to the Louisiana because he had heard she was the most famous ship of the fleet, President

a mysterious proclamations were posted at the scuttlebutt (the drinking tank) telling the landlubbers, pollywogs and sea lawyers of the terrible things that would happen to them when they crossed the line. Dire penalties were provided for any who might try to hide, and long extracts from the Revised Statutes were posted prescribing the punishments

of coal tar, 90 gallons of varnish, 400 pounds of sulphur, 4 sets of razors complete, 18 brus

ts. A day or so later came orders prescribing the height of the ducking chairs. These chairs were to be so high that four flipflaps would be turned by the victims before hitting the

he sea from the hawse pipes for from five minutes to four

d the crew was in a state of semi-trepidation as the day of the crossing approached. Then came a glimmer of fun, for one day there ca

e you will report to me at once, as there is a special provision in the Regu

ors to have their pills and goggle water mixed in accordance with the regulations and the barbers to use the proper per cent. of coal tar, oil, molasses and india ink for their lather." The next day Neptune ordered his subjec

n man and informed him that he was going to get his all right. Then came "brainstorms" from his Majesty telling how the policemen were to act, ordering that their "clubs be stuffed with

il was made to supply air to the officers' quarters, and the messenger boy of the executive officer came

oyal diver to see that the towing was done properly, and finally came the last message from Neptune on the day before the line was reached. It approved all that had been done. Old Nep. howled with joy because the bears wer

the poor

of Collie

une

Top issued th

ORDER

ail. Report to me the names of the pollywogs, landlubbers and sea law

r your notice to-morrow! Deal in a befitting manner with the

O. H. M. G. M

s of the ship were posted immediately upon the s

the preservation of as many of the old time naval and sea traditions in modern warships as

S. Lou

1'-30' N.,

ry 5,

de

is Majesty, Neptunus Rex, will visit this ship in

will be called to muster" to receive his Majesty in a manner befitting his high rank. The boatswain and eight boys will attend the side. When his Maje

ption the royal ceremonies

orderly manner, in keeping with the time

. Eb

Commander,

ive Of

rov

ainw

n U. S

man

had not crossed the line-and a complete list had been prepared

no landlubber, pollywog or sea lawyer can enter my domain or become one of my royal subjects unless he undergoes the initiation as prescribed by me, you will when the ceremonies com

I am required to despatch members of my staff to brin

Maj

une

the Roy

arrival of Neptune. A wireless message was sent to the Louisiana that his Majesty's secretary and orderly would come on board on the evening of January 5 to make the final preparations for the ruler's visit th

p ah

cer of the deck, giving the ac

re you from and whither are

through the domains of his Majesty Neptune Rex for

I want to c

, sir. Co

starboard bow and made their way aft. Mr. Eberle, the executive officer, had been notified

, their swallowtails of bright red chintz accentuated by enormous negro minstrel collars and by ties of pink that flowed out to their shoulders. They carried full dress cocked hats of navy regulation pattern. Their faces were Indian red

red to take possession of the ship and exercise due authority. He complimented the captain on the appearance of his "fine ship," said that Neptune would visit the Louisiana only because it had once carr

is Majesty Neptunus Rex. I beg of you to convey to him the expression of my highest esteem and to say to him that we shall pay him the distinguished honors that

een in his Majesty's service only fifteen years. Full particulars of Mr. Roosevelt's trip on the Louisiana were requested to be reported to Neptune and then the secretary left and called on the wardroom. He served subp?nas himself on the officers and asked especially for the newspaper man. He said that Neptune

n-Chief, U. S.

y and that he has a cargo of landlubbers, pollywogs and sea lawyers on board whom it will be necessary to initiate into the royal realm before he can pass through, and as such his Most Gracious Majesty will to-morrow morning board the good ship Louisiana and carry out the cere

Top B

His Most Grac

une

the Roy

his compliments to Neptune and expressed the hope that Neptun

hen came the bugle for general muster on the quarter deck. All hands were marched aft and the officers took their proper stations with a large space vacant about the captain and a passageway from the superstructure. Miss Sally Ann, the Trinidad monkey, was allowed to come along to see the fun. She perched on one of the 12-inch guns and flirted her tail about like an angry

and his wife preceded by two pages stepped on the quarter deck. At that moment a monster red flag, eighteen feet by twelve, with a white sea serpent on it that would have made any Chinese dragon run to cover, was raised to the mai

s ship of the fleet especially because my distinguished friend and colleague, the President of the country from which you come, once used this ship on a near approach to my dominions. I am informed that he would be here to-day in person if the cares of State did not prevent. I am to

two royal doctors, in long swallowtails and with tall hats that looked like the headgear of Corean high priests, only there were skulls and crossbones on them for ornament. The doctors carried dress suit cases. One was labelled "Dr. Flip" and the other "Dr. Flap." The cases contained the surgical instruments and medicines. The

legs and arms were stained a beautiful mahogany color. A great beard of yellow rope hung down over his fat belly. Amphitrite was in white

time along the Bowery, "don't she look just as if she came

y a mate made him "sh

p said he was of the old school and a graduate of the "Royal College of the Doldrums, class of Umpdy-umpdy-ump-ump." He wa

Flap unloaded their saws, knives, teeth extractors and many bottles of vile looking medicine. The lawyers opened their books to certain paragraphs of the "Revised Statutes," chiefly paragraph 4-11-44; the barbers sharpened their enormous razors, "made in Yarmany"; the policemen drew up in line, the orderlies rolled up the ba

sty," replied M

rd as the first victim that newspaper man. He

. Dr. Flip sounded his lungs, examined his teeth, felt hi

y bad case. 'E's got

you pre

cure of spavin, sore throat, consumption, chilblains

," said the King. "W

injection in the arm of my 'dope' [composed of molasses and wa

" replied h

sked of him, and as he opened his mouth to reply a great paint brush of lather was thrust into it. Then came the order to pull out the plug from the chair and drop him over backwards into the tank. Well, that flight and that ducking! Here descriptive powers f

y limbs. A thunder-boom sounded in my ears. My soul seemed flying from my mouth. Some current seemed hurrying me away. In a trance I yiel

ear? One was a soft moaning, as of low waves on the beach, the other wild and heartlessly jubilant, as of the sea in the height of a tempest. The life and death poise soon passed, and the

ed from the tank he was greeted with more applause

produce certificates or pay tribute. The crew was assembled in long lines. One by one they went up

ld shout. "'E's got valvular

remedy?" Nept

ent, sire," woul

time he would send up a stream of water from his mouth that resembled the spouting of a whale. Those who were waiting for their duckings would shout with the members of Neptune's party. Officer

quick!" sho

nbone, sire," and the usual remedy would be prescribed. Over the

sire. You can see for yo

prescribed treatme

a case of "folderols i

im good!" was

dullerous." Similar treatment. Al

the next repo

knee," was the remedy prescribed for the bunion ailment. Dr. Flip br

can't cut it off,"

ra dousing!" ord

reported a cas

ised Statutes sa

Dr. Flip, "that is

farm-whatever it is

"the fumes kill the pain." The

r. Flip. A lambasting with stuffed clubs was the ex

in the hope of getting higher in the service. Dr. Flip went over him with great care. He got out bot

ed and the symptoms were pondered over with many grave sha

of the established reputation of Dr. Wentworth of the United States Navy, sire, shoul

a royal subject of his for more than twenty years. Nep softened a bit at that, and then said

else than in Neptune's domain and, therefore, he thought it was best to have them treated by N

tune ordered this message semaphored to

Evans, U. S. A

of the captain of your noble flagship have this d

une

ey have to take a good deal of chaffing and no favors when an "unofficial message" from "

une

at last real sailors. They have s

and Os

ung Osterhaus were

ea lawyer, one with an established reputation as such among the crew, woul

of the tank. Now and then a man would lose his temper when he got into the tank. Small mercy for him! He would drag a bear under the water with him. Forthwith half a dozen bears would go to the rescu

s eye. Dr. Flip saw it and diagnosed the case as "extremis mortuis of the right optic." The diagnosis was co

val, and he got such a sousing as few who preceded him had received. He lost his glasses, but when

e performance, as they ran about the ship chasing culprits who tried to escape. Each succeeding arrest stirred her up more and more, and she shrieked out her

r, turning and twisting its head and giving out strange calls. Where the bird came from no one saw. The ship was 300 miles out to sea. No other bird of the kind was in sight. It was the sailo

t man had been rounded up and Neptune pronounced the da

n-Chief, U. S.

haul down my standard and take my departure. The Commander-in-Chief will accept my best wishes for himself, office

unus

the Roy

came. Then a barrel filled with oakum and oil and tar was set on fire and put afloat. It sa

nd a picture of Neptune rising from the sea at the top and with the ship's seal affixed to bits of red, white and blue ribbon, were presented to al

tificat

of Nept

the Rag

pents, Whales, Sharks, Porpoises, Dolphins, Skates, Eels, Sucker

ongitude 37°, 11', W., there appeared within the limits of Our Royal Domain the U

REME

thereof have been inspected and pass

Marines, Landlubbers and others wh

HN

one of OUR TRUSTY SHELLBACKS, has been gath

OF THE ANCIENT

sted in me I do hereby command all my subjects to show due

UNDER PENALTY OF OU

and seal this sixth

unus

y J

esty's

the Lou

tion on the Loui