Tangled

e f**k over. And sleep deprivation can drive you crazy. Even the most absurd ideas suddenly look like viable options. One time, it was around four in the morning and I. . .Actually,

five da

haaa, wha

alarm clock, Kate is already sitting up, ready to spring out of bed and sc

egotistical instinct is to close my eyes and let Kate deal with it, the part of me that wants

aaa, wha

weats. "Go back to sleep." I'm kind of hoping she fights me over

to the kitchen. From the fridge I grab a bottle of breast milk, which Kate filled this afternoon with that weird dairy-cow pump thing she got from Delor

leary eyes and tired, wobbly legs. I sit on the couch, cra

him to "self-soothe." I understand he shouldn't actually be hungry, since he just ate an hour ago. But sleep deprivation is a torture te

en rejects it, turning his head with

rustrated edge. "You're dry, I'm holding you, I'm trying to feed you-what the hel

ey make y

s, I know. Do

leep. I'll write the check out right now." I wave the c

isses him

aaaa.

oom. Then I pace the floor, rocking him softly in my arms, patting

e baby, don

onna buy

those nursery rhymes make any goddamn sense. I don't know any other l

're off to never

aaaaaa

pport his head with my hand. I look into his little face-and even though he's st

s dark and warm and quiet. Then a minute later, you're freezing and there's bright lights an

tact with mine. Interested in what I'm saying. I know the accepted theory is that babies have no understanding of lan

came along and shot it all to hell. I didn't know which way was up-with work, with my Saturday nights. This is a talk for another ti

've ever laid eyes on. Still, I really liked my old life and I couldn't imagine anything better. But I was

So could you cut us some slack, please? We love you so much-I can't wait to show you how f**king great life is on the outside. An

g yawn. And his eyes slow-blink. I st

ly have a way with words, Mr. Evans." Her hair is wild, messy; m

you doing

whispering out here." She walks up to us and rests her h

so h

r should I learn to sleep stan

b squad handling a device with a hair trigger, I shift James so he's on my chest, his head resting on the steady beat of my