Indiscretions of Archie

long youth with a rather subdued and deflated look, as though the burden of the van

wanted to see. I require the assistance of a blighter of ripe

yed him

al

ion s

consi

ow." He checked a yawn. "Auc

ly. "Something-the name or som

ow, and other fellows-other fellows go

o? That's what I'm after. I've got to buy something

d, or you can twiddle your fingers-" The effort of concentration was too much for him. He leaned back lim

ngregation, seated on small wooden chairs, gazed in reverent silence at the pulpit, where a gentleman of commanding presence and sparkling pince-nez was delivering a species of chant. Behind a gold curtain at the end of the room mysterious forms flitted to and fro. Archie, who had been

ixteen-sixteen-sixteen-sixteen-ought to bring five hundred-sixteen-six

! You are not here to waste my time; I am not here to waste yours. Am I seriously offered nineteen dollars for this eighteenth-century chair, acknowledged to be the finest piece sold in New York for months and months? Am I-twenty? I thank you. Twenty-twenty-twenty-twenty. YOUR opportuni

ected. Reggie van Tuyl, who had been yawning in a hope

e with pity than reproach, "has a face like

recisely the same critic

"Once forty-five. Twice forty-five. Third and last call,

e who had been chump enough to give forty-five dollars for such a frigh

e?" said the

u know." The eyes of the multitude made him feel a littl

eposit, please

, old bean. What is the big th

s deposit o

t ch

-five dollars

M

"If," he went on, reasoning closely, "y

ce like Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy; but something seemed to tell him that a purist might consider the excuse deficient in tact. He hesitated a

Reggie, "this is a bit thick, you k

ter. His face seemed draw

you get into the habit of it. When you want to bid, jus

were growing more and more distant. The congregation seemed to suspect the priest of having an ulterior motive in his eulogies, and the priest seemed to suspect the congregation of a frivolous desire to waste his time. He had begun to speculate openly as to why they were there at all. Once, when a particularly repellent statuette of a nude female wit

said Reggie, fighting off with an effort the mists of sleep, "I r

ast, this one isn't Pongo, don't you know-it's his little brother, but presumably equally foul in every respect. It's all rat

advancing with raised spear upon an adversary. A thrill permeated Archie's frame. Parker had not been mistaken. This was undoubtedly the companion-figure to the redoubtable Pongo. The two were identi

a gloating enthusiasm wholly unshared by the congregation, who were pla

this at Christie's in London, where people," he said, nastily, "have an educated appreciation of the beautiful, the rare, and the exquisite, I should start the bidding at a thousand dollars. This aft

ie van Tuyl. "Twiddle, dear boy,

e twi

c manner for one of crisp and direct reproach. "Come, come, gentlemen, we are not here to waste time. Will anyone offer me one hundred dollars for this superb piece of-" He broke off, and seemed for a

e present did not intend to allow Pongo's brother to slip by without a fight. He looked helplessly at Reggie for counsel, but Reggie had now definitely given up the struggle. Exhausted nature had done its utmost, and now he was leaning b

a roulette-wheel. Two hundred. Two-two-two-two-two." He became suddenly lyrical. "Two-two-two-There was a young lady named Lou, who wa

est's idea did not coincide by a mile. The high-priest appeared to consider that, when Archie twiddled, it was his intention to bid in hundreds, whereas in fact Archie had meant to signify that he raised the previous bid by just

nk you, sir-three-three-three-four-fou

n express lift. He had now precisely the same sensation of being run away with by an uncontrollable machine, and of having left most of his internal organs at some little distance from the rest of his body. Emerging from this welter of emotion, stood out the one clear fact that, be the opposition bidding

t had fetched nearly twelve hundred dollars

ered. Eight hundred. Ei

the back of the room. A quiet,

in

e had seen before. But Archie was too busy trying to locate the man at the back to pay much attention to him. He detected him at last, owing to the fact that the eyes of everybody in that part of the room were fixed upon him. He was a small man of middle age, with tortoise-shell-r

am offered. Nine

efiantly at the

sand!"

st, his cheerfulness was now more than restored, and his faith in his fellow-man had soared from the depths to a very lofty altitude. He beamed with approval. Despite the warmth of his praise he would have been quite

riceless china figure of the Ming Dynasty get away from you at a sacrifice price. Perhaps you can't all see the figure where it is. Willie, take it ro

van Tuyl had finished his beauty sleep and wa

e van Tuyl. I know your sister very well. Archie, old man, I want you to meet my friend, B

e said to Reggie, "I suppose you haven't met her husband by

said A

's t

r sister. My n

seemed a trifl

y," h

all," sa

father said in his letters,"

ie n

e china thing that Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy is showing the customers, he will be all over me. I mean to say, you know, he's got

ng man

ow who's been bid

re you biddin

a special reason for wanting to get in right wi

s idea. His valet, a chappie named Parker,

who tipped ME off. I met him on B

e. Why, dash it, we could have got the thing fo

uish that pill at the back there. I can't go

bove eleven h

he one to hand the thing over to Father. I've a s

ll the same to me. I only wanted to get him gener

wfully go

no, no, and far from

urs, and Pongo's brother was back on his pedestal. The h

was offered one thousand-one thousand-one-one-one-one-ele

uberant. You could see him

idding," said

o!" sai

a defia

said the man

een, d

fte

xte

ente

ght

net

thous

thing but sing. He radiat

wenty-one-one-one-one. This is more the sort of thing I have been accustomed to. When I was at Sotheby's Rooms in London, this kind of bidding was a c

erform a trick. But Archie had reached the end of his tether. The hand that had twiddled so

d," said the high-pr

e pause. The high-priest gave a little si

y-three. Third, last, and final call, twenty-three. Sold at twen

f again. Archie tapped his b

ll be popp

the crowd, and made for the street. They passed

ce," said Arc

tte

o that cha

lector, p

't be helped,

mself to Archie's arm, a

's such a talking-machine, and it would have been all over New York befo

Silent tomb a

England, and I thought that, if I could hand my father that china figure-thing with one h

is," said Arch

and Father is apt to kick. So I thought-oh, well, it's no good worryi

e jolly,"