The Monikins

d so much ingenuity among the seals, and had known so many brutes that seemed to have the sagacity of men, and so many

; that he did not complain of the monkeys going in their skins, and that they ought, in reason, not to meddle with his clothes; that he should be scratching himself the whole time, and thinking what a miserable figure he cut; that he would have no place to keep his tobacco; that he was apt to be deaf when he was cold; that he would be d--d if he did any such thing; that human natur' and monkey natur' were not the same, and it was not to be expected that men and monkeys should follow exactly the same fashions; that the meeting would have the appearance of a boxing match, instead of a philosophical lecture; that he never heard of such a thing at Stunin'tun; that he should feel sneaking at seeing his own shins in the presence of ladies; that a ship always made better weather under some canvas than under bare poles; that he might possibly be brought to his shirt and pantaloons, but as for giving up these, he would as soon think of cutting the sheet-anchor off his bows, with the vessel driving on a lee-shore; that flesh and blood were flesh and blood, and they liked their comfort; that he should think the whole time he was about to go in a-swimming, and should be looking about for a good place to dive"; together with a great many more similar objections, that have escaped me in the multitude of things of greater interest which have since occupied my time. I have frequently had occasion to observe, that, when a man has one good, solid reason for his decision, it is no easy matter to shake it; but, that he who has a great many, usually finds them of far less account in the struggle of opinions. Such proved to be the fact wit

Hall, in the kingdom of Great Britain, and No. 22,817, brown-study color, or Socrates Reasono, F.U

parties agree

t there shall

shall be a peaceable interview,

rview shall be logical, ex

shall have the privilege of speaking most, and S

e the privilege of asking questions, and D

be had to both human and monik

th their coats, and otherwise dispose of their natural vestments, in a way t

hall appear in bison-skins, wearing no other clothing, in order to ren

itions of this protoc

in this protocol shall be interpreted, a

prejudice of either the human or the monikin dialect,

g myself, with an increased scrupulousness, for the fulfilment of the smallest condition of the compact. Captain Poke was soon ready, and I must say that he looke

ipulations of any bargain, that I did not feel a propensity to look out for weak places in them. I had begun to see that the discussion might lead to argument, argument to comparisons between the two species, and something like an esprit de corps was stirring within me. It now struck me that a question might b

lf, he would see that the backers of Dr. Reasono were mentioned in the plural nu

conditions in favor of Dr. Reasono, while he appears here with three; there certainly must be some limits to this p

only one male, in the eye of the law. Thus, in cases which require two witnesses, as in conveyances of real estate, two male monikins are sufficient, whereas it would be nec

e; for he often had occasion to remark that women, quite half the time, did not know wh

y purely a monikin assembly. But the facts are notoriously otherwise. The document is drawn up in a common vehicle of thought amo

t, provided it is neutral as respects the contracting parties; moreover, in this particular case, article 11 of the protocol contains a stipulation that no legal consequences whatever are to follow the use of the Latin language; a stipulation that leaves the c

ship, that the parties are, at this moment, in a neutral country, and that, if either of them can set up a claim of territorial jurisdiction, or the rights of the

n this interview, is a monikin interest-that we are met to propound, explain, digest, animadvert on, and embellish a monikin theme-that the acces

your pardon, my de

trust to your intelligen

Chatterino, I pray

ry cheerfully,

d Chatt

hn Gold

had not the amiable Chatterissa advanced, and, with the tact and delicacy which distinguish her sex, by placing her pretty patte on the mouth of the young nobleman, effectually checked his volubility. When a horse is running away, he usually comes to a dead stop, after driving through lanes, and gates, and turnpikes, the moment he finds himself master of his own movements, in an open field. Thus, in my own case, no sooner did I find myself in sole possession of the argument, than I brought it to a close. Dr. Reasono improved the pause, to introduce a proposition that, the experiment already made by myself and Lord Chatterino being evidently a

frank and liberal proposal to leave every other article, without reserve, to the sole dictation of his colleague, reserving to himself the same privilege for all the rest. Noah, after being well assured that the philosopher was no lawyer, assented; and the affair, once begun in this spirit of concession, was soon brought to a close. And here I would recommend this happy expedient to all negotiators

n Interview,

parties agree

ere shall be

d all the parties can c

be conducted, generally, on phi

vided tobacco may b

rivilege of propounding questions, and eit

o one need listen, or no o

shall be conformable to the abstra

ins may be reefed, from time to time,

of this protocol shal

ovided no advantage

s, eagerly looking for flaws, or the means of maintaining the opinions we had

sion for the appearance of any m

s it to be inferred that all may c

and under circumstances from which it follows, by a just deduction, that it was contempl

rticle 3, it is furthermore agreed that the said interview shall be conducted 'on philosophical and liberal principles'; now, it need scarce

constructions must be made on legal principles, or else, as jurists and

art from all the subtleties and devices of mere legal practitioners, over the whole proceedings. Permit me, in corroboration of what is now urged, to appeal to the voices of those who framed the very conditions about which we are now arguing. D

us "No," was the energ

al grace, to the Doctor, first diplomatica

did you conceive that you were supportin

when the young noble paused, and looked a

, is not derived from the intention of the party who may happen to draw up a law or a clause, but from the assent of the legal deputies. In the present instance, there are two negotiators, and I now ask permission to address a few questions to them, reversing the order of your own int

and, I do not doubt, a

t, by any possibility, the foes of humanity could torture your approbation into the means of determinin

me, if

calf, the Socratic m

rted to by your

good

me, my d

r J

lo

another stand-still. Lord Chatterino now gallantly proposed that the whole affair should be referred, with full powers, to the ladies. I could not refuse; and the plenipotentiaries retired, under a growling ac

at is denied our portion of the creation. In an incredibly sh

Interview bet

parties agree

logical, philosophical, ethical, libera

nterview shal

nterview shal

nterview shal

nterview shal

erview shall be

nterview shal

erview shall be

oversial, liberal, philosophical, et

ew shall be as parti

ord Chatterino and myself pounced upon the third protocol, se

ly Chatterissa, in the prettiest Parisian a

dst of this controversial ardor by a tug at the bison-skin; when, casting a look behind me,

we cannot weather upon two women before the matter is well over. In Stunin'tun, when it is thought best to accommodate proposals, why we object and raise a breeze in the beginning, but towards t

nd I am filled with an esprit de corps.

hem go on, Sir John; and, when the time comes, we wi

ow which to call them, I found that the amiable Chatterissa had equally calmed the diplomatic ardor of her lover, again, and we now met on