Doctor Pascal

with a cloudless sky. Then the weather changed, fierce winds began to blow, and a last storm channeled gullies in the hil

the midnight scene, although weeks had passed since it had taken place. He, through an inexplicable scruple, a strange delicacy of which he was not himself conscious, did not wish to renew the conversation, and to demand the answer which he expected-a promise of faith in him and of submission. She, after the great moral shock

if they seemed to leave him at peace it was only in order to concoct in secret the darkest plots. His uneasiness increased, even, and he expected every day some ca

ng to surprise the enemy behind him engaged in some piece of treachery, to find nothing there but the shadow of his own fears. At other times, seized by some suspicion, he would remain on the watch for hours together, hidden, behind his blinds, or lying in wait in a passage; but not a so

y years he had seen grow in beauty and in grace, whose life had hitherto bloomed like a beautiful flower, perfuming his. She, great God! for whom his heart was full of affection, whom he had never analyzed, she, who ha

stence, wrapped up in his books, far from women. The only passion he was ever known to have had, was his love for the lady who had died, whose finger tips he had never kissed. He had not lived; he had within him a reserve of youthfulness, of vigor, whose surging flood now clamored rebelliously at

e astonished Martine, who would look up at him with the submissive eyes of a beaten animal. From morning till night he went abo

s that he returned home one afternoon, his mind distracted because of an accident

his misfortune, he had punctured a vein. He was at once alarmed, seeing the tavern keeper turn pale and gasp for breath, while large drops of cold perspiration broke out upon his face. Then he understood; death came as if by a stroke of lightning, the lips turning blue, the face black. It was an embolism; he had nothing to blame but the insufficiency of his preparations, his still rude method. No doubt Lafouasse had been doomed. He could not, perhaps, have lived six

, ventured to break the oppressive silence. She looked up, and saw him turning over th

you not tell me, if you are

bent upon the b

hether I am ill or not? I nee

in a concil

you came in looking so sad. You must not allow yourself to be cast down in that way. I have spent a very

ip. In his weak and nervous condition a sudden access of

oming to glue their ears to the walls. Yes, you listen even to the beatings

njust suffering vented itsel

e that you have to say to me? Have you reflected? Can you put y

clear eyes, frankly declaring that she would not surrender yet, while

not wish you to remain near me. I do not wish to have enemies

ce out of the room, without looking

d as if a sort of frenzy had seized him to assure himself of the legitimacy of his hopes, to force science to give him the certainty that humanity could be remade-made a higher, a healthy humanity. He no longer left the house, he abandoned his patients even, and lived a

to sway beneath his feet. He had a constant buzzing in his ears, flashes of light dazzled his eyes. He took a loathing for wine, he had no longer any appetite, and his digestion was seriously impaired. Then, in the midst of the apathy of his constantly increasing idleness he would have sudden fits of aimless activity. The equilibrium was destroy

the kitchen, wishing to have a talk with Martine first. The latter, with a heart-broken and terrified air, said to her that monsieur must certainly be going mad; and she told her of his singular behavior, the continual tramping about in his room, the locking of all the dr

elf be cut in pieces! How unfortunate it is that one cannot get

through the empty rooms, spending most of her time in the deserted apartment on the ground

s indeed my opinion also; only the devil is called pride. He thinks that he knows everything. He

shoulders with

thing; who has always been wrapped up in his books; who has not lived. Put him in a drawing-room, and he

a young girl and a servant, she lower

Neither a wife nor a sweetheart nor anythin

g her impenetrable countenance, unwilling, unable, perhaps, to give expression to what was passing within her. This was no doubt

Felicite. "I have come to see him,

urned to her saucepans, and Clotilde wen

d, for it was death to him to lose his faculty for work, hitherto so powerful. His mother at once began to scold him, snatching the book from him, and flinging it upon a distant table, crying that when

never wished to dispute with

common sense in imagining that people were persecuting him in that way? And then she accused him of allowing his head to be turned by his discovery, his famous remedy for curing every disease. That was as much as to think himself equal to the good God; which only

ry pale and with eyes cast on the gro

ave me, I b

ished. "I have come precisely to stir you up a little, to rid you of this fever which is consuming you. No, this cannot contin

voice, as if speaking to himself, with an u

not

herself, burst out, g

able to see himself. Why, my poor boy, every one that comes near you is s

quickly, and looked her straight

ought to do. You should make an effort to shake off all this; you should think of something else; you should not let a fixed id

l, as if he were sounding her, to know what there was

ht, mother.

d triumphantly of not belonging to the family, was he about to receive the most terrible of contradictions? Ah, this egotistic joy, this intense joy of not belonging to it, was it to give place to the terrible anguish of being struck in his turn? Was he to have the humiliation of seeing the taint revive in him? Was he to be dragged down to the horror of feeling himself in the clutches of the monster of heredity? The sublime idea, the lofty certitude which he had of abolishing suffering, of stren

ears, the flashes of light before his eyes, even his attacks of indigestion and his paroxysms of tears, were so many infallible symptoms of the near insanity with which he believed himself threatened. He had completely lost, in his own case, the keen power of diagnosis of the observant physic

Every morning he tried to escape from the haunting subject, but he invariably ended by shutting

swer it by all possible combinations. They were so numerous that he lost himself among them now. If he had deceived himself, if he could not set himself apart, as a remarkable case of variation, should he place himself under the head of reversional heredity, passing over one, two, or even

sluggish, or when he thought he experienced particular phenomena of vision, he inclined to a predominance of the original nervous lesion; while, if he felt that his limbs were affected, his feet heavy and painful, he imagined he was suffering the indirect influence of some ancestor come from outsid

room since the day before, entering. He held open before his eyes with both hands a sheet of yellow paper, in which she recognized the genealogical tree. He was so completely absorbed, his gaze was so fixed, that she might have come forward without his o

he others? If he was to become mad, why did not the tree tell him so clearly, which would have calmed him, for he believed that his suffering came only fr

ible night of the storm that was beginning over again, the gallop of nightmares, the procession of phantoms, rising at his call from this heap of old papers. As they passed by, he addressed to each of them a qu

ataxic nephew, or you, mystic nephew, or yet you, idiot niece, who are to reveal to me the truth, showing me one of the forms of the lesion from which I suffer? Or is it rather you, second cousin, who

he wind. The papers became animate, incarnate, they jostled one anoth

whose constitutional feebleness caused her to die in early youth?-Whose is the poison of which I am to die? What is it, hysteria, alcoholism, tuberculos

And Clotilde, seized by a sort of awe, feeling the presence of the fate which rules over races, left the room so

med a sort of hothouse, preserving there a delightfully mild temperature. They did not even light a fire, for the room was always filled with a flood of sunshine, in which the flies that had survived the w

onversation which aggravated his suffering. As he never left his room now before breakfast, Clotilde had received Dr. Ramond th

marriage much longer: and he wished to obtain from Clotilde a decisive answer. On each of his former visits the presence of a third person had prevented him from speaking. As he desired to receive her answer from herself di

long time. I have a profound affection and esteem for you. That alone might perhaps not be sufficient, but,

t him frankly, with a friendly smile. He was, in t

e is prettier and richer than I am, and I know that she would gladly accept

eeming still convinced of th

I have considered everything, and I repeat that I know very

ons, of those almost unconscious inward struggles, which kept her silent for days at a time

I am greatly troubled about him; and you would not like to owe my consent to a hasty impulse. I assure you, for my part, that I have a great deal of

the conversa

violently, and I am certain the fear of becoming mad haunts him. The day before yesterday, when you were talking t

o close a study of nervous diseases, deceive himself to such an extent? It is discouraging, indeed, if the clearest and most vigorous mind

ture, that he would not listen to her, that he would

, I will sp

them both so close to each other, so animated, so youthful, and so handsome in the sunshine-clothed with

taken Clotilde's hand, an

riage to take place this summer. You know how much

ered. "Before a month

ad forever ruined his life. This girl whom he had fashioned, whom he had believed his own, she would leave him, then, without regret, she would leave him to die alone in his solitude. Only the day before she had made him suffer so intensely that he had asked himself whether he should not part from her and sen

e came forward, the two young peopl

h you, we were conspiring. Come, why do you not take care of yourself? There is nothing

e of the wound which he had just received. He would assuredly die of it, and no one would suspect the malady which had carried him off. But it

ied; "what for? Is it not al

d, with a good

disturbance, and you know that you have the remedy

ions! A pretty invention, of which he had good reason to be proud. He abjured medicine, and he swore that he would never again go near a patient. When people were n

ough fear of exciting him still further; "I will leave you with C

oor of his room. It was in vain that Clotilde, at last becoming alarmed, knocked loudly at the door. There was no answer. Martine went in her tu

ot: a large room, rendered cold by its northern exposure, in which she saw a small iron bed without curtains, a shower bath in a corner, a long black wooden table, a few chairs, and on the table, on the floor

she asked with anxious tenderness, wit

dejected gesture. "I won't beat you. I

r, in his utter inability to do any kind of work. His malady continued to grow worse, until at last he was reduced to utter despair, tortured by sick headaches, and without the strength, as he said, to put one foot before the other, convinced every morning that he would spend the night at the Tulettes, a ra

sought to find happiness in the happiness of another; and all this unconsciously, solely at the impulse of her woman's heart, in the midst of the crisis through which she was still passing, and which was modifying her character profoundly, without her knowledge. She remained silent regarding the disagreement which separated them. The idea did not again occur to her to throw herself on his neck, crying that she w

g to the empire which she had acquired over him, he consented, simply to avoid the affectionate dispute which she renewed with him every morning. From the very first he experienced great relief from the injections, although he refused to acknowledge it. His mind became clearer, and he gradually gained strength. Then she was exultant, filled with ent

uld say, not wishing to confess his hopes. "Medicines

arm, pale sunshine. There were hours of relapse, however, hours of the blackest melancholy, in which all the patient's terrors returned; when his guardian, disconsolate, wa

g the round of his garden to see if his fruit trees were well covered with blossoms. The sight of the old man, so neat and so e

ill never overwork himself, who will

rty years had had only other people's children to cuff, who lived aloof from the world, without even a dog, with a deaf and dumb gardener older than himself, was he not an example of the greate

ve regretted not having a child of my own! Has any one a right to bring miserable creatures into the wo

e. He did not risk a too hasty movement; he economized his fresh old age. If he met a sto

ndsome? Have not all the blessings of heaven been sh

tterness of which she divined. She, who usually took M. Bellombre's part, felt a prot

he is no

ived an electric shock, turned and looked at her. A sudden rush of tendernes

convalescence was making little progress. He began to take an interest again, however, in his accustomed investigations. He read over again the last pages that he had written, and, with this reawakening of the scientist in him, his former anxieties returned. At one time he fell into a state of such depression, that th

lde in the study, quietly occupied in copying with great exactness in pastel a branch of flowering almond. S

, mas

ding, he looked at the objec

that?"

t have dropped from your pocket yesterday,

, then? She would persecute him no more. She was no longer eager to rob everything, to burn ev

er in his a

if we might only n

table and threw the key into

eing so warm at times that it became necessary to half close the shutters. He refused to see visitors, barely tolerated Martine, and had his mother told that he was sleeping, when she came at long intervals to inquire for him. He was happy only in th

is illness had resulted from purely accidental causes, and that heredit

elf so strong, who was so proud of my sane reason! And here have I

e his eyes brightened, he had conquered himself. And in

e said, "it is especially f

derstanding, loo

is

marriage. Now you will

seemed s

ue-my m

t once upon the se

eek in June; that

ece of sewing on which she was engaged, while he, moti