Police!!!

age of natural selection, are elected to the American Institute of Ar

g population of the Institute, a new Immortal is selected for the American Academy

institutions is a peculiarly modest, tru

e Famous; Famous,

y name, "Smith, Academician," I discovered to my surprise that I knew none of m

astonishing to me as I learned th

. I had every right to suppose that he had heard of me. I had happened to h

ss companionship. We were like a mixed bunch of gods, Greek, Norse, Hindu, Hottentot-all gathered on Olympus, havi

nd I was much worried concerning the address which I was of cour

quent phenomenon among the Immortals on such solemn occasions. Li

ssed around refreshments; a suffragette orchestra struck up; the ushers uproo

cover a subject of such exciting scientific interest that my august audience could not choose but l

walk might compose my thoughts and enable me to think of some suf

ure upon its magnificent architecture until I was as sa

noble home of the Academy and Institute adjoi

Immortals were being exercised by a

and two in the sunshine, my dome crowned with figurative laurels, cracking scientific witticis

ul morning in February, when I became aware of a short and vis

sor Smith?" he asked, tipping his pear

escription of me precludes further dou

e Department of Anthropology in the Bron

peated, taking another look at h

ant at the papers yesterday, an' I seen all about

e-wh

was electe

. He grinned in

remain sacred. It were unfit to discuss such m

he rejoined

me?" I repeated. "Why

Perfessor, I'll be

eed br

m; plenty of 'em; I'm overstocked with idee

ow you are

ow you was to make the speech of your life when yo

ine to

to ask you one thing! What a

g away but I stoppe

April the first? Remember it's the hot-air party of your life. Ree-member that each an' every pape

"Why are you concerned as to what may be

o do business with you. That's me! I'm frank about it. Say

ha

e typewriter people. I'd be ashamed to tell you what I can get out

t is infamous!"

e it a financial coup, and I ask you, P

morally unfitted

s. I'm fixed to undertake anything. Now if you'd prefer the Bu

uch things!"

That's only one way to build on Fifth Aveno

ant to tal

a stric'ly honest deal I've got the goods. On

ant to tal

to say? Hey? What you aimin' to say to make those guys set up? What's the use of up-stagin'? Ain't you willin' to pay me a fe

the mention of that great scien

volubly all the while; and now, as I halted again, he struck an attitude, legs

with Bunsen to mention his Baby Biscuits as the most nootritious of c

on't!" I

ook over another line o' samples. No trouble to show

sts your somewhat suspicious conversation with a dignity and authority heretofore conspicuously absent. If, as you hint, you have any scient

ve got information in my think-box that would make your kick-in sp

-I mean, Prof. I'

s scientific

. There were plenty of unoccupied benches.

iew. Even he seemed awed by the proportions of t

ch drains the Empire State, bearing within its resistless flood millions of tons of insoluble matter from that magic fairyland which we call "up-stat

t wise if you had worked in the Tyng-Tyng Company or the Bunsen

ed cur

reelible, an' hones' pill. P.T. Barnum he would have went a million

e is

ow. When I put you wise I'm due to

o

you, Prof. That's what I was a-doin' of-sellin' farms under water to suckers. Bee-u-tiful Florida!

upon me a lo

the Navy Department what was surveyin' the Everglades for a

an' I had to hustle! Yes, sir, I had to git up an' mosey cross-lots. And what with the Federal Gov'ment chasin'

cold and offensive remains of a partly consumed cigar

ps. "Surfice it to say that I got everythin' that was comin' to me, an' then some, what with snakes and murskeeters, an' briers an' mud, an' hunger an' thirst an' heat. Wasn'

cked thoughtfully at his cigar, hooked one soiled thumb

y, half nood, onto the banks of the Miami River.

mi, got clothes and rai

al information concernin' what I seen-or rather what I run

o maps, Coast Survey guys, an' general opinion, a

fifty miles long an' anywhere

them there Coquina hills there still liv

xclaimed in

c'ly, the few individools of that there expiri

atement

r, but they hove rocks at me, they did, an' they run into the rocks like squir'l

s. When I see the first one she was eatin' onto a ear of corn, an' I

I had went through them dam' Coquina mountains I realized that there was nary a

pelled a cloud of pungent

sneer, "you have proofs t

I made

ally. "You propose to hav

ur

my confid

ousand

You'll pay 'em if you take my map an

t I am to go there and investigate b

s ain't up to samp

ample?" I deman

ne soiled hand as though

friend. You wanta

ph of one of these a

rocks at me the fillums was put on the blink-all

h I ever gazed upon. Astounded, almost convinced I sat looking at this irrefutable evidence in

ing to wait for payment until I personally have

' have saw the goods, just let me have mi

s perfec

cation, only brains? Fat chance I'd have to put one over on a Academy sport wh

yself that he'd

a go?"

nquired, trembling inte

s inside here, old sport!" and he tapped his ret

to speak carelessly; "

e to but I got

curate

t's pasted over the front of your head for a face. But

ss that

eliver no goods f.o.b. I shows 'em to you. After you have saw them it's up to you to round 'em up. That's all, a

s staring at him I came to the only logica

rsonally you are exceedingly distasteful to me. But it is useless to deny that you are th

hours to-fix thin

that

ty, I gues

ha

c'ly cash de

ed check for ten thousand dolla

. If I wasn't I could get you in about a hundred styles while you was blinkin' at what you was a-thinkin' about.

er ten minutes. And at last my

I said firmly. "

ere certyfied check-if you can spare th