The Inferno

d vacant. Twice I had high

, gained time at the risk of losing my position. I arranged my life as for a new lo

occupant. It was waiting. I had a thousand dreams of who the gues

not change it. I was already in despair, when the door opened

.

be distinguished in

ce I could see the dusky hollows of his eyes and mouth, under the chin a cavity of shadow. The yellow of his forehead shone unclearly. His che

ce kindled, assumed life.

e black beard, a high forehead and sparkling eyes.

shadow of the door trembled, a silhouette appeared and took shape. A little black-gl

eet. They had not wished to enter the room together,

him, paralysed for a moment, it seemed to me, with fear that it was not he. They stared into each other's faces. A cry

ou

ou

pale hands, opened but slightly crooked, resting on the woman's back. A sort of desperate palpitation seized them, as if an immense angel were in the

idn't s

hich had come the other

et. I saw their arms joined together as though by a cord. They remained there, engrossed, gathering about

an entry! What an ir

, plainly driven toward him, that I should witness bliss in its plenitude, a savage and animal joy,

all always

, and said this with an anxious glance

d, sitting upright, stiffly. I saw her throat rising and falling like the sea. They s

ar from the sun, far from everything. I who had so much want

into their hearts. Their eyes, their hearts

ss the man's face. He looked

thinking

ands and her elbows on her knees and her

, and felt a divine reflection from it falling upon her-from the man who was not there, who was being deceived, from the offended man, the wounded man, from the mast

over this man and woman, who had come to hide their embr

.

id to

ove

heard those

ame from those two human beings. I love you! The words which offer body and soul, the g

t things he next said while clasping her to him. It was as though h

e to prevent us from meeting and belonging to each other than to prevent our lips from uniting when they came t

aid, lulled

come an idol, a thing. He was blaspheming, he was invoking infinity and eternit

ile, then she shook her head and she-/she/ pronounced the word

so un

.

go it was!"

pitately, as if she were in the confessional. You felt that she came to it quite nat

oves and her coat and hat. She wore a dark skirt and

ar features and smooth silken hair. It seemed

quite loudly, and tell of he

om with the furniture always arranged just so, their places never changed, like tombstones. O

led, grew m

le disconcerting, with his large eyes, which women must have adored, his drooping moustache, his tender, distant air. He seemed to be one of those gentle people who think too much and d

hat between these two people there was an immense difference, like an infinite disco

eed of escaping from her ordinary life. Their desires were

ey scarcely understood each other, and to my eyes, from the very first, the

ion, his lyrical choice of words. He thought to please her, and he lied. He was evidently her superior, but she domi

bed her fo

square. The fountain in the centre, with its shadow at its base. I watched

ng nothing. Nobody else ever came there. When noon rang like a knell, still no one. What I r

ys were to go on like that, nothing would separate me from my death- nothing! Not a thing! To be bored is to die! My life was dead, an

said

rning and miscarrying in the evening, I became a

ight, or when I came home after a walk, the length of the

ime to time? Around me was a sort of conspiracy, composed of envy, meanness and indifference. Whatever I saw,

am, told me that I must be content with what I had. I replied, 'Then, that is the end of everything, if I mu

to be afraid. I had t

ate it? I d

yself. I had such need of something else. I

dream that my husband was dead, my poor husband who had done n

Oh, that emptiness, that monotony! Of all the gloomy things in the wor

ss of our days, it is with our own life. It was not with be

found th

ied, hoarsely

p monotony by deceiving. To sin in order to be a new person, another

the impression of beauty, and above all, you were there, in my existence, in front of me! I had only to

ssed and enthusiastic, and she played with her

having rebelled and having broken my destiny. And then the deceit-from which we suffer sometimes, but which, after reflection, we no longer detest-the risks, the dangers that

she

that her aspiration was realized, she had

.

a moment, an

lt, a supernatural and fatal attraction, because of your poetry. But in r

ad

deal about love. It is almo

have never thought of anything but ourselves. I know, of course, that I am in love with you. So are you with me. There is an attraction for you which d

half in protest. He did not want to say

of loves we cannot e

the vehemence of which surprised me, "that is no

ue regret in her voice and the

it with a shak

desty again. I remember that I did not dare to show the tip of my foot from

.

off, and spoke of their first meetings. He wished to caress her with wor

time we w

oked a

y shoulder. People swarmed around us, but we seemed to be quite alone. Everything around us cha

st evening your face was like what it never

knew, you spoke of the sunlight that day and the coolness of the evening. But really you were telling me that you were mine. I felt

he beginning! There is never a

rough the suburbs. The road was so peaceful and quiet that our footsteps seemed to dis

," she

r finger o

here. The first time it went astray, the second time it pretended it wen

ead, and I saw

atchfulness imprisoning me," she sighed, ever

not! The recalling of these little dramas and former perils warmed her movements

thusiasm returned, and now they tried

, surrounded by other people, mistress of a regular household, friendly to everybody, a bit timid, talkin

teasing you about it. I did not dare to look at you when you pa

I had to conceal it, dissimulating every sign of my happiness, locking it hastily away within the coffer of my heart. At first I was afraid to go to sleep for fear of saying y

I was bathed. Yes, purity. When in the midst of life one wakes up from life, and sees

.

in Paris-the day he thought he recognised us from a

a start o

urmured, "that w

aken by the throbbing of hi

back of the cab and cried to me, 'He is nearer! He is further off!

the same movement

hed out l

he one time

ways be afra

anged into kisses. Their whol

bling the pieces so as to keep their love from dying through staleness, as if they were underg

sped eac

hey fell down, down into the shadows

tamm

love you

lying again. We did not deceive ours

murmured like a thorny c

d will soo

heir fear that they had in common, and how they stirred their fear up desp

eady accomplished the work of reviv

u. No, I do not give myself to you. How can

ppy?" she a

everything in t

* *

already become a mere memory, a

the bit of pl

ignal of a tremendous fall, a

. He turned his face gently away from a kiss she was about to give him.

will regret anything. Afterwards, when I return from-/this/-for good, to the great sorrow that will never leave

er. He could not answer

you do

ey were cold. They looked down at the space between the two houses

otting out everything around it. After the brief interval of sinful passion, they were overwhelme

aid, "looking at each othe

d himself on a chair, a

aw were self-condemnatory. You expected that in a few moments h

so as much by their misery as by their human form

.

l miracle by which one who is adored suddenly or gradually comes to be hated? Why does he not preserve man from having to mourn the loss of all h

her men, perhaps because what is bestial engrosses my attention

The echo of those two cries lingered in my ears. Those two cries, not shouted but uttered in

? Above all,

come satiety, and the union dissolve. For when you take full part in life you do not see this, you know nothing about it. You pass blindly from one extreme t

at the threshold of these descriptions, as if full descriptions were forbidden? The thing ought to be sung in a poem, in a masterpiece. It ought to be told down to

egin again, like every human being. Once more they will try together, as much as they can, to seek shelter from life's defeats, to find ecstasy, to conquer dea

y put infinity into desire all in vain, they will

ken in and retained this sight in all its breadth, my having learned that the livin