The Inferno

them as when I first saw them together. Amy and her

e been talking for

dow of the evening and the shadow of the man. He was bending

and appear in all its bare darkness. It was coming on them like an incurable illness. They seemed to ha

heard the names of places and people. They ment

opped and hid her

e was used to these spells, and spoke to her without knowing w

ing? Tell me why

e took her hands away from

now? Tears a

.

of a rational being who cries. A weak, broken creature shedding tears makes the same impression

efore this woman's face bathed from an inexhau

.

ed her head. Without his qu

g because o

hing passes, everything changes, everything takes flight, and as soon as everything takes flight one

she had a little access of pride, and I sa

not notice awaken a distinct echo in me, and in such moments of lucidit

owing distress, he trie

reshaped our destiny. You, who ha

id was borne a

n spite of what I have tried to do, I am al

divine fire by which one makes great instinctive decisions and which is neither good nor ev

as if she felt her f

indulgent-would be so unhappy. I know that our love exists with the reprobation of all that is wise and just and is condemned

ghty," he mu

ad lightly, and said in a to

bout the joy of living and you were as sad as I am to-day, you looked at me, and said you did not know what I was thinking, in spite of my explanations. You showed me that love is o

speak, but sh

ss, do with me what you want-just to bring yourself close to me, close t

head make the needless gesture of denial. I saw all the misery emanating from t

a void between them. Say what you will, do what you will, revolt, break into a passion, disput

n in the s

ble. He did not answer any more. He held her in his arms, rocked her quietly, and caressed her with delicate

ough wounded. I saw his eyes fixed on her, while she gave herself up freely to her sadness. He pressed his body against hers. It w

spectator apart from men and whose gaze soared above them-that they were strangers, and that in spite of all appearances they did not see nor hear each other

.

re. She said plaintivel

t feelin

ave herself up to love, offering her wh

* *

f the dream that had c

she. I bent over to ca

nown!" he breath

h a crime between them, they went slowly over to

s/ the other evening. Never had the impression been borne in up

ed of all his pride, of all his masculine reserve, he no long

elf," he stammered, hangi

nds, shuddered slightly, panting, d

.

a

hat so crushed them. They saw further. They were overcome by an impression of bleak truth, of aridity, of growing nothi

that even the illusory ties holding them together would not endure. Their sadness did not bring them together. On

love itself came from

ove! I feel that little by li

.

her head, and r

irst time!

m saw that first time when the

on would die, and, in spite of our p

d still, and now we sc

gesture as

m, too. At first I thought it was only you. But then I understood my poor

with her eyes turned a

longer love you.' Alas, alas, some day I

live even so. But the passage of time! To grow old, to think differently, to die. I am growing old and I am dying, I. It has taken me a long ti

ir. It gives you the feeling of being covered w

cried out i

e the network

.

cont

gs. Your lower jaw will sag from the tiredness of living. You will be in a constant shiver of cold, and your appearance will be cadaverous. Your voice will be cracked, and people who now find it charming to

overcome by the truth, as if she had too mu

transported by a universal grief. You would have thought that this

ng for it, I am consumed with longing for it. The past! I shall

s been clean and pure, in the forgetfulness of what is long past, in daily habits, which are the forgetfulness of what is near. We catch only glimpses of life. Death i

vincible nothingness in everything and everybody. So when one thinks of that, dear, one smiles a

.

oped her in a warm, respectful silence, but

t haunted me. He launched out furiously. He told me I was a neurasthenic and that he must look after me. He

fference, a paralysis, a grey malady, and his blindness was an infirmity, and his pe

occupation? Work? No use. Doesn't work always have to be done over again? Have children and bring them up? That makes

rst time that

the submission, the humiliation of a mother. Perhaps that

nly thought of loving and regretting the child that had not been vouchsafed to her-without perce

e snowy streets, in a great fur cloak," she murmured and made a tired gesture, while the love

t does not alter the truth a particl

d a tone so positive and calm that it gave th

date relatively far off, but exact and absolute, with four figures, and to say, 'No matter how old I shall live to be, on that

it seemed to me that he tried most to avoid givi

aid to her, and cleverly reminded him of it so as to cl

moment will never come again. I am thinking that you are going to change, to die, and go away. I am thinking so truly, so hotly, how precious these moments are, how precious you are, you who will never again be just what you are now, and I adore your ineffable presence as it is now

!" he

he lifted it again, I had a vague intuition that he would k

f a room-that is what we are," she said, lifting her head and looking at

urmu

ws what

.

with a gesture of

ffering. I know your noble ideas. I love them, my love, your beautiful theories, but

ain of himself as she was of hers

it, perhaps, if you

with inexorable patience, then she slipped to her knees before him, like a lifeless

appy if you could answer me. I f

if on the edge of an

e?" he murmured. "Every

we believe, is fictit

is sure

our sorrow, our need, our misery. We can see and touch it.

d, "it is the only abso

.

ly absolute thing in t

We-" he said. He had found the cry against d

to see him begi

who endure

the contrary, it i

gs pass, but

n air of denial. There almost was

at difference does it make to

ed sadness and shadow,

st without shado

e said

console me,"

.

t he had already thoug

were making a confession. "I once imagined two beings who were at

she said,

e of those which mi

n destiny for the fiction of his imagination. In referring to his poem, he had trembled. You felt he was becoming his genuine self and

sad to live. They are a kind of Adam and Eve who dream of the paradise to which they are going to return. The paradise of purity. Paradise

us," s

t her hands on her heart and said, "Poor people!" Then she got a little excited. She felt he was going too far. She did not

ided. The woman of the poem

as he recited, swaying slightly, in th

had when she entered life. Eve ended as she had begun. All her subtle eager woman's soul climbed

to the curse she felt upon herself, gave her confidence. But her personality seemed to be shrink

ly and celestial happiness at the same time. She answered him with profundi

rness, he explained, he shouted, 'Divine happiness has not the same

n rose, t

it is /my/ happiness. The universe is God's universe, but I am the god of my own happiness. What I wa

er problem in a clearer and deeper manner, a

y suffering,' t

d is beautiful, because of the absolute truth it contains. 'I, with all my suffering!' It is an error to believe that we can be happy in perfect calm and clearn

, 'My God, I do not

bling, "it follows that we c

s life," sa

at last that the whole poem was simply a reply to her question a

n. "'It is beautiful to reach the end of one's days,' said

Happiness needs unhappiness. Joy goes hand in hand with sorrow. It is thanks to the shadow that we exist. We must not dream of an absurd abstraction. We mus

f death had rigidly contracted, a smile

ll me this right aw

ream of distress into a blind alley. I had to take the tru

.

ecause of their august assent to the lofty truth, to the arduous truth (for it is hard to understand that happiness is at the same