Right Ho, Jeeves

continued rankling as I shed the form-fitting, and had not ceased to rankle when, cl

to say that I was p

he trouble to whack out a highly juicy scheme to benefit an in-the-soup friend in his hour of travail, it's pretty foul to find him giving

oments of heart-bowed-downness there is nothing that calms the bruised spirit like a good go at the soap and water. I don

d by that tactless speech ha

n't played with toy ducks in my bath for years, and I found the novel experience most invigorating. For the benefit of those interested, I may mention that if you shove the thing under the surface with the

nner disguise. He greeted the young

evenin

in the same

vening,

had a pleasan

you, Jeeves. Hand me a

and I comme

underlinen, "here we are again at Brinkle

s,

have gone and got themselves

s,

ssop and my cousin Angela w

ants' hall is inclined to take

r mind, no doubt, is that I shall ha

s,

eves. I have the t

rprise

f the way down here, and with the happiest results. I have just b

r? Might I

I asked, slipping into the shirt and starting to ad

iss Angela, and I felt that it would afford me great

ment. But I suppo

as rewarded w

t wa

n Mr. Glossop and Miss Angela by appealing to that instinct which

cravat in order to rais

on my arrival, she said in a sniffy sort of way that she supposed I was going to shove my Cousin Angela into the lake and push Tuppy in to haul her out, and I let her see pretty clearly t

and passed the building where the fire-bell hangs, that a sudden alarm of fire in

hiv

en, J

, sir

Not a bi

cy, si

Enough has been said.

mbering some of the swift ones he had pulled in the past, I shrank with horror from the spectacle of his present ineptitude. Or is it ineptness? I mean this frightful disposition of his to stick straws in his hair and talk li

ing in as kindly a light as possible. "Your old

t be considered open to that critic

get you

ir, signifying 'for wan

f a once fine thinker nothing but a gentle pity. The

. Besides, I remember that one from school. What caused my bewilderment was that you should be employing the expression, well knowing that th

sir, b

you mea

, sir

m ready, even anxious

eminding you of it, your plans in the past

put on my waistcoat in a marked manner. Not till I had got

e or twice in the past I may have missed the bus

eed,

and I'll tell you why I shall not fail. B

eed,

And, furthermore, based on the

eed,

han to convey such a suggestion, but you have a way of stressing the 'in' and then coming down w

good

icely lined up. Would you care

much

inner I have recommended T

ir

otten that telegram I sent to Gussie Fink-Nottle, steering him away from the sausages and ham? This is the same thing. Pushin

, sir

row

as your 'Indeed, sir?' Like the latter, it seems to be tinged with a definite scepticism. It suggests a lack of faith in my vision. The impression I retain after hearing you shoot it at me a

no,

ds like. Why don't you thi

ly attribute Mr. Glossop's ab

s at the bottom of all this. Mortified by the consciousness of his own ineptness--or ineptitude--the fellow w

id, indicating with a gesture the gent's ordinary dinner jacket or _smoking_, as we call it on the Cote d'Azur, which was suspended from the ha

ul but at the same time uppish glint in his eye and a sort of muscular spasm flickered across his

inadvertently omitted to pack

efore my eyes, and I exchanged a merry wink with it. I

ng a speck of dust from the irreproachable Mechlin lace at my wrists. "But

been the nastiest of jars, but there was no play of expression on his finely chiselled to indicate it. There very seldom is on Jeeve

lide down and fet

good

ho, J

the drawing-room with me good old j. ne

drawing-room. She glan

said. "What do you thi

t get th

ou mean?" I qu

s of male guests at Abernethy Towers

t admire t

do

id at

his isn'

dash i

to give my butler a laugh, what does i

distasteful. It isn't often that I score off Jeeves in the devastating fash

t Dahlia," I u

her sombre response. "I've

ling

. I haven't had the n

et about that in

n is in the melting-pot and that all thin

t wa

t, ass. Belsh

ondered how that gag was wor

rs to break it to Tom abo

ght I saw where she had got twisted. Where she made her error, it seemed to me, was in feeling she had got to tell Unc

d mention that you lost

the melting-pot. Because that is what it will infallibly do unless I get a c

oudoir_ bills. If the bally sheet has been turning the corner for two years, he must have g

before I we

he give

d up like an officer and a gentleman.

idn't kn

't much yo

e made me over

!" I

did yo

id 'T

you where you stand. I've enough t

ui

myself. And the same applies to clicking th

fro

oo

unt Dahlia this evening. It now bled again. I knew how deeply attached she was to this paper of hers. Seeing i

pared for the touch, Uncle Tom would see a hundred _

t Angela. Gussie Fink-Nottle was knocking off dinner to impress the Bassett. Aunt Dahlia must knock off dinner to soften Uncle Tom. For the beauty of this

here is only one course t

that her eyes were wet with unshed tears, but I rather think

ou stop it just this once? Just f

t drive

high standards it doesn't come u

ened. I hadn't made

re of resignation. You see what will happen. Uncle Tom will notice your loss of appetite, and I am prepared to bet that at the conclusion of the meal he will come to you and say 'Dahlia, darling'--I take it he calls you 'Dahlia'--'Dahlia darling,' he will say,

seemed to be a pretty soppy couple of blighters, to judge by their d

her a

can do?' To which your reply will be that there jolly we

spoke, and was pleased to note r

this is posi

wasn't the only f

ve it wo

rk. I've recommen

g Glo

to softe

len

tle, who wants to make

! What a busy lit

, Aunt Dahlia,

chump I took y

ever take me

the idea. Yes, Bertie, this scheme is bright. I

nt these implications. Jeeves had

excited about it. Yes, I think it

ouldn'

l do

party trickled in, and

th aching hearts and standing room only as regarded tortured souls--I hadn't expected the evening meal to be particula

d when it

ifty quid in the red and expecting Civilisation to take a toss at any moment had caused Uncle Tom, who always looked a bit like a pterodactyl with a secret sorrow, to take on a deeper melancholy. The Basset

nced undertaker would have been deceived by hi

ed at my flat, and I must say his demeanour disappointed me.

setting. Yet in this aspect now I could detect no indication whatsoever that he was about to round into mid-season form. He still looked like a cat in

clarion note, it looked as

that I was able to institute a search. But after we had been playing for a while, the butler came in and asked her if she would speak to Anatole, so I managed to get

ment in a limp sort of way, but

Gussie,

beaming back genially, he gave me a most unpleasant look. His attitude perplexed me. It was as if he were not gl

our 'Well,

always an unmatey thing to do, and

an--me and my

ire from you, Wooster. And it's no good looking like that. You know what I mean. That damned prize-giving! It was a dastardl

not neglected to give a thought or two to what I was going to say when I encountered Gussie. I had foreseen that there might be some lit

a bit of a jolt, it is true, for in the stress of recent happenings I had rather let that prize-giving busines

t for granted that you would understan

bout my schemes whi

Left to myself, there is nothing I would find a greater treat. But I saw that the square, generous thing to do was to step aside and

at you can bury yourself in the country and still somehow acquire a vocabulary. No doubt one picks

. There you will be, up on that platform, a romantic, impressive figure, the star of the whole proceedings, the

ll, wil

ropodist. But Augustus Fink-Nottle, the orator--that'll knock her sideways, or I know nothing of the female heart. Girls go potty o

self, of course. The fire faded from behind his horn-rimmed s

tively. "Have you ever

Nothing to it. Why, I once

ren't n

a b

did y

s. I held them in th

throw eggs,

a t

nd for a space stood staring

worse than death. But I'll tell you this much: the prospect of that prize-giving on the thirty-first of this month has been turning my existence into a ni

d you to go light on the food, so tha

ghed h

've been doing

ticing at dinn

ere. I shall never be able to ask her to marry me. I couldn't find ne

ntic surroundings. I should have tho

you would have thou

, c

seems so alo

doe

s. Have you seen her sideways, Bertie? That cold, p

does

tch sight of it, and the

nfess, I felt a bit stymied. It seemed hopeless to go on trying to steam up such a human jellyfish. Then I saw the way. With that extraord

e softened

wh

all talk to her of hearts that yearn, intimating that there is one actually on the premises. I shall pitch it strong, sparing no effort. You, meanwhile, will lurk on the outskirts, and in about a quar

no doubt--who made a statue of a girl, and what should happen one morning but that the bally thing suddenly came to life. A pretty nasty

he seems to feel The stir

e these heartening words. His brow cleared, his eyes brightened, he lost that fishy look, and he gazed at

You will sort of pav

right. S

, Bertie. It will mak

to you. You will have to haul up your slacks and give

d-help-us-ness seemed to re

What the dicke

with an effort. The man h

eds of things you can say

sun

ied men you meet began by

n I say abou

the park one evening, and he said, 'Now fades the glimmering landscape on th

rt of la

or 'gastritis,' _l

Glimmering landscape ... solemn stilln

have often thought that the

I hav

that one, and I don't see how she can

daisy

ht always makes you sad. I know you're going to say it

hy

because yours is such a lonely life. It wouldn't be a bad idea to give her a brief description of a ty

indoors and liste

ad, wishing that you had someone to love you. And the

fairy pr

expected such a hot one from such a quarter

d t

ow it can fail. If I were you, I should do it in this rose garden. It is well established that there is no sounder move

ck o

ift

ou mean? But

ha

ouched a drop

On these occasions it is generally concede

e had stated, I supposed there

o make out as best y

drink oran

, Gussie, to settle a bet, d

y mu

ave a run through, to see that you've got the lay-ou

od's dai

makes you

mine lone

ribe

t the day

you want to say to her. Heave a couple of sighs

ything might now be expected to proceed through the proper c

ike this, I suddenly became cognisant of what I was in for. The thought of strolling with this rummy specimen undeniably gave me a most unpleasant sinking feeling. I could not but remember how often, when in her company at Cannes, I

not edge out. Only the keenest ear could have detected the tremor in

evening,

vely, is

eminds me

the evenings

ly,"

said the

y," I

and we were out in the great open spaces, she cooing a bit about the scenery, and sel