The Romantic

oor-place John was washing and dressing for Sunday evening. He called o

denly, that morning, a day

sap from the rough seat that she and John had put up there, sawing and hacking and hammering all Sunday afternoon

fat, benevolent smile that blessed them, and going away; the very calves were so well use

here the rain had soaked it, gold yellow like a sun-struck southern house, under the black plume of the firs, a yellow that made the sky's blue solid and thick. The grass, bright green after the rain, stretched with the

like this. She thought: "There must be something wro

lation. He strolled into the ring so slowly that she had time to note the meditative gestures of his shoulders and chin. He stood beside her, very straight and tall, not speaking, still hidi

, without a break in the

more certain and more real with every minute that she waited for John to say something. If nothing changed, if thi

r ever-Any movement would be dangero

. Of course, she wo

and went. "When he says he cares for me I shall have to tell him"-"This is going on for ever. If he cared for me

mind to make him care; to make him say he cared, now, this minute. She was aware of her hands, clenc

s quie

said, "yes. Yes." It was as if he had said, "This will go on. Nothing

ense almost

rlot

oh

I came here. You m

n't. I

you t

off thinking. My thin

hink you'd kn

M

re not there. Faces of people you don't know in the least. You see them once and they never let you alone till yo

the first time-Do you remember? You came towards

ing I h

you just the same. Wherever you'd gone I'd h

saw him standing in

again. But I waited two

ame

k again. And the other day-I tried to get away from you. I didn't mean

had to tell you ... I coul

ay from me-You didn'

had to. It's n

come back.... That's w

dream a

d cut you off. I dreamed you'd got away again, and I met you in a foreign village with a lot of foreign women, an

thought I co

't think in dreams. Yo

you've thought about people. If I thought that about myself, Je

u were in a dreadful, dangerous place. Something awful wa

orst dream. I did want

ant to care, but he does. And he tru

," she said, "I've

*

known. He mus

ry about something that you remember, that interests you still, his e

trust me. You wouldn't tell

u trusted me. I thought-I thought you ought t

shouldn't have beli

clean out of me. I shall never

shouldn't have thought you could have cared for a br

't believe it did. You see, I've forgotten such a lot of it. I couldn't have believed that once, that you coul

live if you

think it was as ho

, flashed into

as that. He makes it horri

he wa

was cruel to you. An

s my fault. I made the poor thing jumpy. I let him run such w

nd a coward, Cha

got their breaking-point. I don't lie about the things he lied about; I don't f

ou sure you don'

ut it. This is what I shall remember all my life. You

n't want t

hi

hat sort

with-jus

ared about. Could you do wi

If he could go on

te. But I would.... You

an I thought you were b

pened, though I kne

u know all about it; you know how long that sort of thing lasts and how it ends. The baseness, the cruelty of it ... I'm like you, Charlotte, I do

ve this place and come away

he

b. We could run it together. There are all sorts of jolly things we coul

es

e with me w

withou

know that. They don't know what they're destroying with their blind rushing together. All the delicate, exquisite sensations. Charlotte, I can get all the ecstasy I

would go. Everyt

way-nothing c

uld end it. If you found som

ldn't happen, and if it did,

you'd co

houldn't ha

to her. John, I don't

to bear it long.

houldn

Charlotte-if I know a woman wan

t, if you w

should hate her then i

don't

don

you feel like

el like that ab

use I've bee

se," he said,

OK

RODEN