If And Maybe

prisingly, he hadn't thought about any of it since. When Toby called, even he was surprised by

d on it." Toby answer

something going on with Tom?

in the gut. "Your father gets calls. I don't

idge of his nose and s

im more

's voice. Which was rare.

to. -"We're going out, we're not taking no for an answer." He smiled. Then another came. -"Be ready in 10mins." Sawyer raised his eyebrows,

e say he didn't know when the best answer would have been 'yes' or 'ok'. And still, he couldn't imagine being able to get past the front gate. He heard a bang on his door and nearly

he floor, then a blue back haunched over and then a mess of blonde hair still cussing. He tilted his head, the cussing person's hands

d and looked up from her bent position and s

terrifying sound to hear." Apparently

"Right. I'm sorry." She opened her eyes. "It wasn't clo

ay." He looked down at the books, some sti

e time. "I'll arrange them, you just giv

d three books at once.

done and ready to close the suitcase, "Thank you." Hann

case still didn't

nage to get it ou

t the suitcase, "What happene

to face Otto and Noelle coming towar

n." Noelle pointed out. "Hi." She asse

any things to say.

Hannah looked dow

l, I was helping."

the suitcase with both h

rry that." Otto and Sawyer looked at each

eady helped and it'

you take it down sta

" Sawyer blurte

vered. "Not in fr

ly?" Sawy

t Hannah was there, watc

morrow." Otto of

st." She

hile Sawyer left them to finished getting dressed and lock up, they al

oth him and Otto carried the heavy suitcase together. "So sorry." No

Otto pointed out. Sawyer

her name from the suitcase instead of

aw it, you did too I bet. But she told me h

rig

"We all saw it. We just didn't want to seem creepy.

gled. "No i

yer. "School is still in session for

sending t

pointed out, they got outs

he offered, waving her arm in the air,

ed sharply. "I'm gues

d, leaving her and Noelle walking behind.

behind her back. "Which one?" She was waiting fo

napped her head in Noelle's

d her hand. "Th

She co

kled. "So Sa

bit her l

ing their way back to them. "This is wher

Thank y

e're more interested in what the

ank you." Sawye

er was interested too? Anyone would be curious about the letter though

Hannah Barbra." Otto made a point to use it.

lked over to Noelle, leaving her standing b

walking away with her friends. She coul

nnah Barbra." Sawyer sa

So, Elle, what did y

her hand on Otto's shoulder, a smile on h

offed and adjusted h

it." Otto rolled his eyes. "I

She turned to Sawyer, his smirk still on his face. "It's crazy

don'

r that? So cool. S

said. Noelle an

e very few people he knew there. Loud music, people everywhere, he got drinks with his friends and found a corner to sit while Noelle and Otto decided to dance. He watched

call it progress that classes and shopping were no longer the only things he did. Good right? Out at a party with no fuss, while his

nly he couldn't breathe. His eyes stung with tears, his body trembled with anger. How is he outside right

till bent forward. He stood up straight, took in a deep b

t this girl and right now they're like going a-" Then she noticed he looked pale

same guy kind enough to ask.

He wanted to leave, back to his room. His mot

?" Noell

on Sawyer's shoulder, he

awy

aggered out of the house. The guy caught him by his shoulders. "Leave me alone. Leave me a

ok. "Sawyer?" Noelle called aga

e. Noelle drew back in shock. "I said leave me

e guy. "I'll handle it."

hand over his forehead and pulled back, sucking in air desperately as he staggered on. He wasn't even drunk. His legs suddenly didn't want to move anymore. He forced himself to get to the side of the bui

ked up to him. Hoping he wouldn't yell this time. She kept her eyes on him as she approached. He didn't react to her presence. She wanted to help him. To hold him and tell him something encouraging but what? She got close enough, stepped one leg over his t

as instant. She pulled him by his shoulder into her arms and held him. His tears staining her shirt. Even more surpris

ok it slowly. Now he couldn't help wondering what was going on. He moved closer and she mouthed. "Crying." After a brief moment of confusion, he understood. Wit

would push him to do this too. For her sake. And Peggy can't, so he would for her too. Plus, neither one of them would want him feeling so guilty. And yet he couldn't help feeling so. He would ha

e, looked up at her then

. Hoping this wouldn't make him sh

es aside and Otto helped him up. They walked him back to his room. Strangely, until they got into h

bed this time, Sawyer pulled out a new note book he hadn't had the chance to use yet. It was either that or h

om, hi

you were a bit annoying. I'm trying. But trying makes me feel so bad. Because you can't anymore. You can't even try. I don't want to feel guilty but I do and I'm sorry. This is different from me just being away in school cause I know I'll nev

u Peggy. It hurts waking up and remembering you're gone mom. I promise, no more guilt. I'll do my best for you both. Because you deserv