Arcadian Adventures with the Idle Rich

n, I think we have al

ittee room of the Mausoleum Club. Their official place of meeting was in a board room off the vestry of the church. But they had felt a d

eside him, and Dr. Boomer at the foot. Beside them were Mr. Boulder

n, on the Reverend U

urmured several t

esent church. He gave utterance to thoughts that I have myself been thi

"He preached a sermon to the poor. He told them they were no good.

?" said one o

ty president. "I believe he is one of th

"Oh," and the

"I understand," answered Dr. Boomer, "that h

ake any co

cept that he is to have absolute control, and in regard to salary. Thes

alary?" as

said the chairman, "paya

"Good," "Excellent," "A first-class man,"

names have been under consideration here have been in many respects-in point of religious qualification, let us say-most desirable men. The nam

ing getting where he

ine hundred," sa

r. McS

hundred

exclaimed everybody with

it was

ing could hav

o rise, "that we are quite justified in taking it for gra

I hear from Slyder that he was making desperate efforts this mo

speech gone?" a

wreck. His nurse was telling me that this morning he was reaching out his hand for the newspaper, and see

n knew that St. Osoph's Church had extended a call to the

e became the sole topic of conversation on Plutoria Avenue. "Have you seen the new minister of St. Osoph's?" everybody asked. "Have you been t

olute and instantaneous;

saw a more striking man. Such power in his face! Mr. Boulder introduced him to me on the avenue, and

forward in his black gown and shaking his fist at them. Dr. McTeague had never shaken

had not been heard in any church in the better part of the City for a generation. The congregation was so swelled next Sunday that the minister raised the percentage to eighty-five, and everybody went away delighted. Young and old flocked to S

se to the front was the only feature of his congregation that

l of his trustees, "that there are in the City so

f Plutoria Avenue the topic of conversation had not been, "Have you heard the new

sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin. Moreover, she had the distinction of being the only person on Plutoria Avenue who was not one whit afraid of the Reverend Uttermust Dumfa

ise Philippa; "he's such a complete contrast with father." She knew no higher

omised that mee

atherine Dumfarthing, there is no doubt the greater part o

d them to be mighty careful; he gave a series of weekly talks to workingmen, and knocked them sideways; and in the Sunday School he gave the children so fierce a talk on charity and t

enly of the Overend brothers as "men of wrath," and they were so pleased that they repe

ed Greek and Hebrew from the pulpit, scorning to translate a word of it. Under Dr. Boomer's charge the min

e president, "two hund

r, "a powerful heap of

ast year's graduating cl

by the faces of them

iff, our demonstrator, is preparing slides which, I believe, actua

. Spiff from beneath his dark brows,

Boyster, I hear that McTeague is trying to walk again; a great err

them a Sunday afternoon talk in which he showed that their studies were absolutely futile.

tched the congregation drifting from St. Asaph's to St. Osoph's and was powerless to prevent it. His sadness reached its climax one bright afternoo

hilippa, as her motor stopped beside him, "how doleful you look! Get into the car and co

person, as prettily dressed as Philippa herself. To the rector she was presently introduced as Miss Catherine Something-he didn't hea

But they spoke instead of the new dances, and whether they had come to stay, and of such sensible topics as that. Then presently, as they went on still further, Philippa leaned forwards and talked to Tom over his shoulder and reminded him that this was the very road to Castel Casteggio, and asked him if he remembered coming up it with her to join the Newberry's ever so long ago. Whatever it was that Tom answered it is not recorded, but it is certain that it took so long in the saying

se the motor was stopping outside the manse, and Catherine was saying, "Oh, thank you ever so much, Philippa; it was just heavenly!" which showed that the af

hair in his study. Nor was it any ordinary parish problem that he was revolving in his mind. He was trying to think out some

on Miss Catherine Dumfarthing seemed to him such an altogether delightful and unspeakably blissful process that he hardly knew how to approach the topic. So when Juliana presentl

account of Philippa and Tom, you ought-or at least i

her as he laid aside her b

there this after

r to a blush on her face a

s not there

mfarthing was. I stayed and talked

or rather that blowing out of air w

d him pretty so

urely, Edward, a man in such a ca

said the rector; "I mean-er

umfarthing bitter! Why, Edward, the man is gentleness and kindness itself. I do

saw things in the Reverend Uttermust Dumfarthing-as som

of his character," he said. "I was thinking rather o

y still. "I heard him last

nd his sister, as if imp

t now, and he was speaking of all the sin in the world, and of how few, how very few people, can be saved, and how many will ha

or he had been wondering whether it would be possible, even remotely possible, to get his sister to invite the Dumfarthings to high tea at th

d, all who were interested in the church, the trustees and the mortgagees and the underlying debenture-holders, were feeling anxious. For some of them underlay the Sunday School, whose scholars' offerings had de

n't like the look of things. I took up a block of Furlong's bonds on his Guild building from what seemed at the time the

e might do something further, perhaps, in the way of new buildings or alterations. I have, in fact, offered-by myself, I mean, and without other aid-to dynamite out the front of his church, underpin it, and put him in a Norman ga

berry, to speak very frankly, I begin to as

said Mr. Newbe

t is he, all said and done, quite the man to conduct a

wberry reluctantl

ople are beginning to say of him, that he is perpetually moving with the times. It doesn't do, Newberry, it doesn't do." Whereupon Mr. Newberry went away troubled and wrote to Fareforth Furlo

such a thankfulness in his spirit as he hadn't felt for months, and he may well have murmu

that the Dumfarthings, father and daughter, were to take tea at the rectory. Indeed, a few minu

the Sunday School money-a temporary loan); and a little further on he spoke to her severely about the parasol she carried; and further yet about the strange fashion, specially c

surmounted. And when the Rev. Mr. Dumfarthing sternly refused tea as a pernicious drink weakening to the syst

Not allowed," and to make a face in the direction of her father, who was absorbed for the moment in a theological question with Juliana. Indeed, before the conversation became general again the

tainty of Damnation" (a gift), and in praying for her brother-a task practically without hope. During which same time the rector in white flannels, and Catherine in a white duck skirt and blouse, w

ter events; for as the summer faded into autumn and autumn into winter the an

ion. Your interest is everywhere in arrears; your current account overdrawn to the limit. At this rate, you know, the end is inevitable. Your debenture and bondholders will decide to foreclose; and if they do,

id the Rev. Edw

t as a preacher you fail somewhat, do not, as it were, deal sufficiently with fundamental things as others do? You leave u

be far astray if we accepted and held fast to the teachings of Sir Charles Lyell. The book of Genesis, he said was not to be taken as meaning a day when it said a day, but rather something other than a mere day; and the word "light" meant not exactly light but possibly some sort of phosphorescence, and that the use of the word "darkness" was to be understood not

ng refused henceforth to attend her brother's church and sat

n such topics. We must look for aid in another direction. In fact, Edward, I may mention to you in confide

certain idea, or plan, was already germinating in the

snows came, were suddenly converted into liveried coachmen with tall bearskins and whiskers like Russian horseguards, changing back again to blue-nosed chauffeurs the very moment of a thaw. During this time also the congregation of the Reverend Fareforth Furlong was diminishing month b

d a Balkan hat and a Circassian feather, which cut a wide swath of destruction among the young men on Plutoria Avenue every afternoon as she passed. Moreover by the strangest of coincidences she scarcely ever seemed to come along the snow-covered avenue without meeting the Reverend Edward-a fact which elicited new exclamations of surprise

vily upon a stick and greeting those he met with such a meek and willing affability, as if in apolog

r used to speak of such things. Poor old McTeague, I'm afraid he is getting soft in the head." "I know," said the person addressed. "His mind is no good. He stopped me the other day to say how sorry he was to hear about my brother's

that the head of Mr. Lucullus Fyshe, for example, had been placed side by side with that of Mr. Newberry, there had resulted a merger of four soda-water companies, bringing what was called industrial peace over an area as big as Texas and raising the price of soda by three peaceful cents per bottle. And th

follow. It was not accurately known from which of the assembled heads first proceeded the great idea which was presently to solve the difficulties of the church. It may well have come from that of Mr. Lucullus Fyshe. Certain

yshe who first gave the

mpetition. We have here practically the same situation as we had with two rum distilleries-the output is too large for the demand. One or both of the two concerns must go un

" said Mr. Furlong senior,

k what's being done every day everywhere,

"Well, no, I suppose not," said Mr. Fyshe, and he too smiled-in fact he almost laughed. The notion was too ridicu

m merger. There, you remember, a number of the women held out as a matter of principle. It was not mere business with them. Church union is different. In fact it is one of the ideas of the day

, "I'm sure if you're willing

the organization. As you know he is not only a deeply religious man but he has already handled the Tin P

s labours. "I must first," he said, "get an accurate ide

u, Mr. Furlong," said the lawyer, "a question or two as to the exact constitution

t manifesting itself on earth." "Quite so," interrupted Mr. Skinyer, "but I don't mean what it

," said the lawyer. "Where

said the rec

o doubt, but I mean its authority

er," began the rector, but

its mortgages and to cause judgement to be executed against those who fail to pay their debts to it? You will say at once that it has these powers direct from Heaven. No doubt that is true and no re

Whereupon Mr. Skinyer left him without further questioning, the rec

satisfaction from the Rev

he state and able as such to be made the object of suit or distraint. I speak with some assurance as I had occasion to

hes is a perpetual trust, the other practically a state corporation. Each has full control o

s that mean?"

the rest do not, those who stay pure are entitled to take the whole of the property. This, I believe,

fine as pure doctri

courts decide, but any doctrine is held to be a pure do

me thing as what we called 'permissible policy' on

ans that for the merger we need nothing-I s

as is usual in such cases, was charged to the general expense account of the church. Of course nothing whatever was said during the lunch about the churches or their finances or anything concerning them. Such discussion would have been a gross business impropriety. A few days later the two brothers Overend dined with Mr. Furlong senior, the dinner

ost exactly identical with the successive stages of the making of the Amalgamated Distil

r. Newberry of Mr. Furlong senior, anxious

ve only one large asset-Dr. Dumfarthing. We're really offering

r. Dumfarthing h

d from him, and his trustees are absolutely silent about his views. However, we shall soon know all about

financial basi

talized into preferred stock and the common stock, drawing its dividend from the offertory, will be distributed among all members in standing. Skinyer says that it is really an ideal form of church union, one that he thinks is likely to

tion of doctrine, of bel

an settle it," ans

seated in intermingled fashion after the precedent of the recent Tin Pot Amalgamation and were smoking huge black cigars specially kept by the club for the promotion of companies and cha

h a pile of documents in front of him, "I think that our

efore us, which you have already signed. Only one other point-a minor one-remains to be

to go into that?"

s, "as the theory of the creation, the salvation of the soul, and so forth, have been mentioned in this connection. I have a memorandum of them here, though the points escape me for the moment. These, you may say, are not matters of first importance, especially

ow, first, in regard to the creation," here he looked all round the meeting in a way to command attention-"Is

r. Dick Overend, "to leave no doub

ay, August 1st proximo, the process of the creation shall be held, and is hereby held, to be such and such only

cried sever

a memorandum as follows, 'Should any doubts arise, on or after August first proximo, as to the existence of eternal punishment t

property, they are the persons most interested. I should like to amend your clause and make it read-I am not phrasing it

f some the stockholders of the company, especially the preferred stockholders, had as good a right to eternal pun

al clause but merely add to it the words, 'but no form of eternal punishment shall b

rried," crie

that all other points of doctrine, belief or religious principle may be freely

s rose from the table shaking hands with one another, and lightin

r they might now walk in that fashion with the same propriety as two of the principals in a distillery merger), "the on

not know?" sa

N

e heard

d," said M

it very quiet-naturally so, in view of the circumstances. Th

exclaimed Mr. Newberr

tunity. They offered him ten thousand one hundred; we were only giving him ten thousand here, th

rse not," said

s character. Indeed Dumfarthing was still waiting and looking for guidance when they offered him eleven thousand. We couldn't mee

s accepted

he would remain in his manse, looking for light, until two-thirty, after which,

p in reflection, "so that when yo

passed across his features for a moment "Dr. Dumfart

time of our discussion tonight, you were

ad already appoin

ucce

g's papers. The fact is that we decided t

wberry in amazement. "But surel

is effect; it soothes the brain-clears it, as it were, so that very often intellectual problems which occasioned the greatest perplexity before present no difficulty whatever after

will Dr. McTeague also resume his phil

to get the full value of his remarkable intelligence, we propose to elect him to the governing body of the university. There his brain will be safe from any shock. As a professor there w

not," said

of St. Asaph and St. Osoph, viewed by many of those who made it

it has been in every

al and semi-annual reports of the Tin Pot Amalgamation and the United Hardware and other quasi-religious bodies of the sort. "Your directors," the last of these documents states, "are happy to inform you that in spite of the prevailing industrial depression the gross receipts of the corporation have shown such an increase as to justify the distribution of a stock dividend of special Offertory Stock Cumulative, which will be offered at par to all holders of common or preferred shares. You will also be gratified to learn that the directors have voted unanimously in f

that, as his daughter was now leaving him, he must either have someone else to look after his manse or else be compelled to incur the expense of a paid housekeeper. This latter alternative, he said, was not one that he cared to contemplate. He also reminded her that

t she stayed for another two or three weeks to unpack them. This had been rendered necessary by a conversation held with the Reverend Edward Fareforth Furlong, in a shaded corner of the Overend's garden

ard to one another on Sunday mornings and such is the harmony between them that even the episcopal rooks in the elm trees of