Arcadian Adventures with the Idle Rich

leaning back in a leather armchair at the Mausoleum Club

r. Dick Overend, ringing the be

Newberry, between tw

r. Overend, flicking hi

ermen," said

d Mr. Overend, "and an infe

dors of the club, he spoke behind his hand and said, "And the mayor's the biggest grafter of the lot. And w

ded. "It's a ty

ssia," rejoine

ics of the United States-not argumentatively or with any heat, but with the reflective sadness that steals over an elderly man when he sits in the leather armchair of a

Overend were young, men went into congress from pure patriotism; there was no such thing as graft or crookedness, as they both admitted, in t

could find a phrase big

tates Senate-" and then shook their heads

t, so Mr. Newberry said, in the calibre of the men. He recalled how he had been taken as a boy of twelve by his father to hear a debate. He would never forget it. Giants! he said, that was what they were. In fact, the thing was more like a Witenagemot than a legislatur

d had, he said, occasion to visit the state capital a week before in connection with a railway bill that he was trying to-that is, that he was anxious to-in short in

of the city government! And they both agreed, as above, that things were worse than in Russia. What secretly irritated them both most was

so much their own original ideas as a general wave

whole government of the city was rotten. The word is a strong one. But it is the one that was used. Look

Their names, it was said, were simply a byword throughout the United States for rank criminal corruption. This was said so widely that everybody started hunting through the daily papers to try to find o

red waistcoats and red ties and got up at seven in the morning to attend the vegetable and other markets. Nobody had ever really thought about them-that is to say, nobody on Plutoria Avenue. Sometimes one

"Oh just one of the city aldermen," a passerby would answer hurriedly.

h both

the fresh ideals of the middle west. In Boston it was said to be due to a revival of the grand old New England spirit. In Philadelphia they called it the spirit of William Penn. In the south it was said to be the reassertion of southern chivalry making itself felt against the greed and selfishness of the north, while in the no

orrified at what they found. It was discovered, for example, that Alderman Schwefeldampf was an undertaker! Think of it! In a city with a hundred and fifty deaths a week, and sometimes even better, an undertaker sat on the council! A city that was about to expropriate land and to spend four hundred thousand dollars for a new cemetery, had an undertaker on the expropriation committee

"It's worse than Russia!

oked at them sideways out of his eyes-he had eyes like plums in a mottled face-and, being a born politician, he knew by the very look of them that they were talk

and speaking in an ingratiating tone. There is no more pitiable spectacle than a

Mr. Dick Overend, also rubbing his

uttural grunt which is technically known in mun

Mr. Newberry as the may

he did," whispere

f the Thomas Jefferson Club, which was situated in the

the pool tables, "you want to let the boys know to keep pretty dark and go easy. There's a lot of talk I don't lik

d), and to the Kossuth Club (Hungarian), and to various other centres of civic patriotism in the lower parts of the city. And for

f the George Washington Club to Mayor McGrath a day or two l

cautiously and eyeing his henchman with quiet scru

h the same glance that Morgan the buccaneer might have giv

reflected in the conversations of Pluto

ly a pack of rogues. I had occasion to do some business there the other day (it was connected with th

pillikins, to whom he spo

reasurer aside and I said, 'I want such and such done,' and I slipped a fif

" gasped Mr.

here ought to be a criminal

ikins, "they ought to go to

assistant (about a thing connected with the same matter), told him what I wanted and passed a fifty dol

asped Mr. Spill

he leisure and divided the business ti

nvolving many millions); there was the decision as to the renewal of the franchise of the Citizens' Light Company-a vital question; there was also the four hundred thousand dollar purchase of land for the new addition to the cemetery, a matter that must be settled. And it was felt, especially on Plutoria Avenue, to be a splendid thing that the city was waking up, in the moral se

t when we approached them first with a proposition for a renewal for a hundred and fifty years they held us up! Said it was too long! Imagine that! A hundred and fifty years (only a century and a half) too long for the franchise! They expect us to install all our poles, string our

s!" said M

that, if the movement hadn't come along and checked them, those scoundrels would have given

pon his face, "that four hundred thousand dollars is an e

an outsider, a very fair, reasonable price for fifty acres of suburban land, if it were the right land. If, for example, it were a case of making an offer for that very fine st

odded his hea

not, of offering it to t

thousand or whatever it might be. We felt that for such a purpose, alm

all," assen

wn figure-four hundred thousand, half a million, in fact at absolutely any price, from four hundred thousand up, that they care

ncumbered with a growth of cypress and evergreens and weeping willows which make it quite unsuitable for an up-to-date cemet

tanneries and the chemical factory along the farther side of it, was an

after this conversation Mr. Fyshe and Mr. Furlong senior un

in fact how rapid

us?" asked someone of M

ply. He says that the city has been buying coal wholesale at the pit mouth at three fifty-utterly worthless stuff, he tells me.

" said th

are not helping the city in this matter? Why don't you supply the city?' He shook his head, 'I wouldn't do it at three-fifty,' he said. 'No,' I answered, 'but will you at five?' He looked at me for a moment and then he said

streets was a disgrace. Mr. Skinyer, of Skinyer and Beatem, shook his head and said that the whole legal department of the city needed reorganization; it needed, he said, new blood. But he added always in a despairing tone, how could one expect to run a departme

routine work-the mere appearance in court, the preparation of briefs, the office consultation, the tax revision and the purely legal work. In that case he would h

he stockholders of the Traction and the Citizens' Light were prominent from the start. Mr. Rasselyer-Brown, Mr. Furlong senior and others were there, not from special interest in the light or traction questions, but, as they said themselves, from pure civic spirit. Dr. Boomer was there to represent the university with three of his most presentable professors, cultivated

y, "to see a set of men like these all going into a thin

assured of exactly what they wanted to do and how they meant to do it, the league he said, would invite the fullest and freest advice from all classes in the city. There were none he said, amid great applause, that were so lowly that they would not be invited-once the platform of the league was settled-to advise and co-operate. All might help, even the poorest. Subscription lists would be prepared which would allow any sum at all, from one to five dollars, to be given to the treasurer. The league was to be democratic or nothing. The poorest might contribute as little as one

these remarks by Mr. Fyshe, who

member it is quite informal, anyone may speak. I as chairman make no c

Chairman," began

Mr. Fyshe. "I want everyone to u

hen-" began

"I was wishing first to explain that not on

se-" began

d to the point as possible. I have a great number of things which I wish to say to the meeting and it mi

rry, "what about organ

present time. Mr. Boulder, Mr. Furlong and Mr. Skinyer and myself have therefore prepared a short list of offices and officers which we wish to submit to your fullest, freest consideration. It runs thus: Hon. President Mr. L. F

r. Furlong drew from his pocket and arranged the bundle of minutes of the meeting which he had brought wit

peak as a practical man, that we ought to

t," assented s

d Mr. Fyshe of the university preside

, more than anything, the support of a clean, wholesome unbiassed press that can't be bribed and is not su

ly to buy up the editorial s

of the press is one of the worst factors that we have to oppose. But whether we

ated to elevate the tone of the press, the treasurer being authorized to second them in every way. I for one am heartily sick of old underhand connection b

. Fyshe and Mr. Boulder said there was no need to drag in specific questions or try to define the action to be taken towards this or that particular detail, such as the hundred-and-fifty-yea

ic meeting open to all citizens. There was a splendid impromptu air about everything. For instance when somebody away back in the hall said, "I move that Mr

ight, somewhere. In the platform speeches of the epoch they figured as working underground, working in the dark, working behind the scenes, and so forth. But the strange thing was

uption of the city newspapers that it would be necessary to buy one of them. But the word "clean government" had been no sooner u

"Are you in favour of Clean Government? If so, send us ten cents with this coupon and your name and address." The Plutorian Citizen and Home Advocate, went

ent ought to be by the people, from the people, for the people and to the people"; and the next day another labelled. "Mr. P. Spillikins, who says that all men are born fre

nd Alderman Schwefeldampf," so said practically every paper in the city. "The public sense revolts at these men. They are vultures who have feasted too long on the prostrate corpses of our citizens." And so on. The only trouble

next, "Will help to clean up City Government. Eureka Club (Coloured) endorses the League; Is done with Dark

one of the first efforts of the league would be directed towards getting the necessary sanction of the legislature in this direction. To help to enlighten the public on what such government meant Professor Proaser of the university (he was one of the three already refe

lf would favour clean government, and would become the official nominee of the league itself. This certainly was strange. But it would perhaps hav

Mr. Boulder, "to let

en of the wards in the hollow of his hand. If we take

n his word?" sa

him as a matter of honour, between man and man, a week ago. Since then, I

e go with us?"

ercutt. He says he must find a place for O'Hooligan. The Irish, he

regard to the renewal of the franchise and the exprop

in such a low voice, that not even the birds listening i

Clean Government League, there were many things which such good people as

ught fresh triumphs to the

d to be able to report our first victory. Mr. Boulder and I have visited the state capital and we are able to tell you

ed all the commit

Club. He tells us that what we are doing is being done in every city and town of the state. He says

!" said Mr

n Club) has given us the same assurance. So also does the chairman of the Republican State Committee, who was kind enough to be our guest in a box at the

ioned Mr. Newberry. "You have actually

ll fixed-that is to say, they have such confidence in the governor and their political organizer

Mr. Newberry, "about the governo

, "We are quite sure," and he exchanged a look with Mr.

t feel sure in my own mind just what was meant by a 'Board,' and 'getting them to give us government by a Board.' I know I'm speaking like an ignoramu

n a council and a boar

, "the difference betwee

eflectively, "the difference b

," said Mr

in most cities is generally not more than fifteen hundred or two thousand dollars. The salary of a member of a board or commission is at least ten thousand. That gives you at once a very different class of men.

said Mr.

me with a fifty-dollar bill. On the other hand your ten-thousand-dollar man has a wider out

hundred-dollar salary is so low that it will tempt a lot

actly," answe

re were fifty thousand of them on the municipal voters list-were not beh

the president of the league with offers of support, "tell me what

mhearst's, though it had never been made q

t to do. You know, Mr. Fyshe, we've just as good executive ability as you men, if you'll just t

t idea," sai

to come and address it so as to stir us

inly," sai

r hotels were filled with them every day, busy for the cause. One of them even invented a perfectly charming election scarf to be

s for purity in civic politics. I am glad to inform the committee that Mrs. Buncomhearst and her friends have organized all the working women of the city who have votes. They tell me that they have been able to do this at a cost as low as five dollars per woman. Some of the women-foreigner

only element of suppo

themselves and on their own account, a Students' Fair Play League which has commenced its activities. I understand that they have already ducked Alderman Gorfinkel in a pond near the university. I believe they are looking for A

on the street last nig

d a procession," s

ah! rah! Clean Government! Clean Government! R

sm and disturbance on the street that has hitherto disgraced our municipal electi

them were arrested,"

ticks. A squad of police mistook them for rioters. As soon as they were taken to the police station, the mistake was cleared up at once. The chief-of-police telephoned an apology to the university. I believe

e students of the college, was still confined to his bed when interviewed by our representative. Mr. Gorfinkel stated that he should not offer himself as a candidate in the approaching election. He was, he said, weary of civic honours. He had had enough. He felt it incumbent on him

's students, armed with baseball bats, surrounded the polls to guarantee fair play. Any man wishing to cast an unclean vote was driven from the booth: all those attempting to introduce any element of brute force or rowdyism into the election were cracked over the head. In the lower part of the town scores o

dusk the streets were filled with roaring and surging crowds celebrating the great victory for clean government, while in front of every newspaper office huge lantern pictures of

the Mausoleum Club on Plutoria Avenue, given at its own

broad and flat as floating water-lily leaves. And through it all moved the shepherds and shepherdesses of that beautiful Arcadia-the shepherds in their Tuxedo jackets, with vast white shirt-fronts broad as the map of Africa, with spotless white waistcoats girdling their equators, wearing heavy gold watch-chains and lit

nturies so as to give the company a fair chance to see what it could do. At the word of it, the grave faces of manly bondholders flushed with pride, and the s

n its lighted corridors, the bubbling champagne whispered to the listening rubber trees of the new salvation of the city. So the night waxed and waned till the slow day broke, dimming with its cheap prosa

N