The Love That Returns from Afar
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a man almost twice my age, all while endu
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him, and he turned me down. Now, just a week later, he's
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he left for the
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riend just to get me
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wered
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as just
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Kieran Harris began
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ever he pleased with his camera slung over his shoulder. He'd traveled
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him from a distance. I even thought about asking him to mentor me, but I held back.
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route I could think of – whenever I had t
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of our early encounters consisted
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e I finally complimented him in just the right wa
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particularly quiet, his gaze
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lines of his face, casting him in a melancholic glow, a
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rawn to him, to fall dee
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sion, hoping to walk the same roads he had, see the same
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alent, but I w
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as a student of his, but he did start talking t
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d meant a
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graphy abruptly to pursue a bu
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a sh
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id when he he
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a long time, and Dad ram
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my way and, with h
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al. She'll go further tha
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art pounding, and the smile tugging
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ally thought I mi
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not
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breaking slightly.
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o keep my emo
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it's been me who's a
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bout him
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ng for him, had he chosen to
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dad came around the corner
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, you s
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siness; no outsid
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hing for some flicker of
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wanted him to
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just wanted him to acknowledge what I was f
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. He left with his new girlf
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flushed with ange
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ts out of your head. I'm
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end myself, nor did
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d for his belt,
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door interrupted him, sounding like s
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I sprinted to the do
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wasn't
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hed over me in waves,
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nging clients, coming by to invite hi
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d I couldn't help but wonder
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pe, desperately searching for anything that
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my dad gave me
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inking about the famil
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had reputati
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y trampled on the ground
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ep, poring over every moment with him, lookin
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e out of bed. I threw on hea
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, loneliness felt
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o run into Kieran a
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between his lips, his face cold
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ate. Go
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eth and tried t
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't know you.
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this hour? He's definitely asking
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to walk
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way. We were close enough that I could
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almost never touch
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ating away at
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s eyes narrowed in the grayish haze, radi
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leaned close, his
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should handle a kid
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while to snap back and regain
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ly are you doing? S
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ly, a rare hint of
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hat's out there. The world i
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n was all sharp edges, one icy
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ght he was
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reserved, easygoing attitude, but tonight, he'd broken t
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esitation, I coul
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care a
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thought I saw a flicke
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I'm an older family
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y head like he was cons
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nd, barely able to k
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romantic nonsense, maybe yo
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to clin
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ing – seemed t
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out over the street, and le
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bar were dim and errat
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he time I stumbled toward the exit, I was unsteady,
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ct, a hand gripped my s
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n unable to make out the details, but I instincti
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t a strained sigh
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't m
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oyfriend, jus
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is chin up and giving
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just o
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ed at
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or so long. Just
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after that
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as convinced it had
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up sprawled across a ho
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e night together when
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re aw
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era
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as
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ately, but froz
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as a stranger, a young m
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r me, my fingers
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t, was it.
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g myself to fin
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me a bottl
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Threw up a few times. Here –
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he hotel, I was
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night felt like a
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that desperat
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ha
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you h
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y following me, rushing forward to stea
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ly pull
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faces around
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don't follo
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need for discretion, noddin
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but just before I got into the car,
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st features, a cle
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uilt, as if I'd somehow taken adv
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realized I'd lost
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ust sitting on the edge of the s
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assed before a shadow fell a
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afternoon sun. The light caught his high cheekbones and the fain
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nable to say anything. It felt as if, for a brief m
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t down to check my forehead,
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t's
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feelin
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ice almost brought
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. I'm
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ing to measure
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elf. Don't stay up late, a
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ttal, trying to hold back ev
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ext to me, ignori
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ith your parents an
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with you anymore. We
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ath hi
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That I was being ridiculous and yo
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business deals to
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etending not to notice
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, a sound so soft it was almos
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ad in; it's to
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more than I'd expected. I wanted to reach
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t of last nigh
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ment, I found mysel
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won't be diff
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. Harris" in years. It
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ess – it had to mea
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to for so long. I wouldn't continue the secret chase for something
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go. And I was lett
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ght, his expression unread
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re picking up his pace and d
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to lose its color. Everything
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tried to escape to my room
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you come hom
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uesti
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le, fighting t
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friends and lost
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to say more but just patted
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he facade, acting as i
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cleared his throat, putting on his au
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come with me to a gathering. I've got a
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reach for the food
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time to show a
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couldn't really turn
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ilent disappointment
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e fantasy; they wanted me to li
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hering to show an
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rig
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ade it impossible for me to keep up the polite, demure act
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up with, Tristan Griffiths, turned out
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tchmaker behind thi
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everyone, I whipped out my pho
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e pins piercing my skin, each
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the call
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urte
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you? I need to se
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e before a soft, gentl
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appened. Kieran's in the bathroom; I ca
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ugh my limbs, cold and painful. I leaned ba
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se, I finally ma
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noth
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off my phone, and
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dence or something he'd p
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it matte
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all poi
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of the restaurant and let myself drift along wit
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only to find myself lo
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t seemed to see right through me, and h
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y somethi
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ask
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was his father m
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d s
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ightly. If he speaks highly of you, there
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illar, trying to mask my bi
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ow what Kieran
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to handle a skittish animal. I probably looked like
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s said you
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and stron
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with the effort. Between bursts o
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t do you
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er of something uncert
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my laughter f
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w you for myself, not thr
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O
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of hair as I leaned in closer
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me if what you f
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e I could hea