The Palmy Days of Nance Oldfield

dismal; [forming their countenances] this fellow has a good mortal look-place him near the corpse: that wainscot face must be o' top of the stairs; that fellow's almost in

you out of a great man's service, and shew you the pleasure of receiving wages? Did not I give you ten, then

er a

r of St. Timothy's in the

ER. Let h

GRAVE

ng off very easilly, therefore I brought you the finger and all; and, sir, the sexton gives his service to you, and d

illy: but our friend, Dr. Passeport, with the powde

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much the more eloquently do they testify to the freshness of Dick's satire. Freshness, satire, and death! Surely the three ingredients seem unmixable; yet when poured into the crucible of Steele's

-date" farce, Mr. Hoyt dallies entertainingly and discreetly w

conducting to its earthly resting-place the body of a well-to-do sinner. For the average Englishman loved a funeral and all its ghastly accompaniments as passion

d to the church adjacent in this order, viz., 2 conductors with long staves, 6 men in long cloaks two and two, the standard, 18 men in cloaks as before, servants to the deceas'd two and two, divines, the minister of the parish and the preacher, the helm and crest, sword and target, gauntlets and spurs, born by an officer of Arms, both in their rich coats of Her Majesty's Arms enbroider'd; the body, between 6 persons of the Arms of Christ's Hospital, St. Bartholomew's, Merchant Taylors Company, City of London, empaled coat and single coat; the chief mourner and his four assistants, followed by the relations of the defunct, &c."[B] In this aggregation of grandeur the mere bagatelle in the shape of a corpse seems almost completely overshadowed, and it is thus comforting to reflect that the latter finally had interment in a "handsome large vault, in the isle on the north side of the church, betwixt 7 and 8 of the clock that evening." The dear departed, or grief for his memory, frequently played but too small a r?le in all these trappings of despondency, and the insignificance of the deceased might only be likened to the secondary position of a man at his own wedding. It was all fuss and mortuary feathers, mourning rings and mul

y corpse shall lie, to be hung with black, and four and twenty wax candles to be burning; on my coffin to be affixed a cross and this inscription, Jesus Hominum Salvator. I also appoint my corpse to be carried in a herse drawn with six white horses, with white feathers, and followed by six coaches, with six horses to each coach, to carry the four and twenty persons.... Item, I give to forty of my particular acquaintance, not at my funeral, to every one of them a gold ring of te

t prove to the town that he was not the hypocrite several of his kind friends had dubbed him. The fact was, that he had been virtuous enough to write a pious work entitled, "The Christian Hero," which he afterwards published, but as he had not grown suffic

and religion, in opposition to a stronger propensity towards unwarrantable pleasures." This secret admiration was too weak; he therefore printed the book with his name, in hopes that a standing testimony again

was he a jolly Pagan, with a passion for his wine and his coffee-house, and a kindly, merry word even for those who twitted him upon his inconsistency. It was plain, therefore, that he must be so

on: SIR RIC

GODFREY

f ideal Christianity, to find himself famous. He had opened a new vein of satire, and a vein moreover which upheld virtue and laughed to scorn hypocrisy and vice. That was a moral which the dramatists of his epoch seldom taught.[A] And so the people cr

marked, the wit genial, and not indecent. Steele was among the first who set about reforming the licentiousn

his son, Lord Hardy, the gentlemanly, poverty-stricken leading man of the piece. When Brumpton has a cataleptic fit, and is apparently dead as a doornail,

e, the undertaker, has arrived. The latter, who is being bantered by two of the characters, Mr

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the eyes of others; and there is often nothing more inwardly distressed than a young bride in her glittering retinue, or deeply joyful than a young w

alk, Mr. Sable,

, sir, experience; remember your wi

uld all those shrieks, those swoonings, that rising falling bosom, be constrained?

orrow when they read my bill; but as for her, nothing she resolv'd, that look'd bright or joyous, should after her love's death approach her. All her servants that were not coal-black must turn out; a fair complexion made her eyes

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o modern "funeral director" would be guilty-out l

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"Have you brought the sawdust and tar for embalming? Have you t

herald's for a coat for Alderman Gathergrease that died l

op: he serves me just as Dr. Quibus did, who promised to write a treatise against water-gruel, a healthy slop that has done me more injury than all the Faculty: look you now, you are all upon the sneer, let me have none but downright stupid countenances. I've a good mind to turn you all off, and take people out of the playhouse; but hang them, they are as ignorant of t

xi

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r Lord Brumpton and hi

from his cataleptic t

e him, and is horrif

ief. But hush; he wil

companied by her woman

tle

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TLEAID, meeting and

leaid, his and o

rch yard cough, you'd bury him

hence a friend should haul one to a play one has a mind to see,[A] what pleasure t'will be when my Lady Brumpton's footman called (who kept a place for that very purpose) to make a sudden insurrection of fine wigs in the pit and side-boxes. Then, with a pretty sorrow in one's face, and a willing blush for being stared at, one ventures to look round, and bow to one of one's own quality. Thus [very directly] to a snug pretending fellow of no fortune. Thus [as scarce seeing

six weeks after the death of her husband, and denied hersel

'll manage them all; and indeed, madam, the men are really very silly creature

solute; thus, thus, we sway-[playing her fan]. A fan is both the standard and the flag of England. I laugh to see men go on our errands, strut in great offices, live in cares, hazards and scandals, to come home and be fools to us in brags of their dispatches, negotiations, and

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n, who has studied hard to cheat his good-natured employer, and succeeded, is a daringly drawn satire on the pettifogging attorne

ence. His Learning is commonly as little as his Honesty; and his Conscience much larger than his Green Bag. Catch him in what Company soever, you will always hear him stating of Cases, or telling what notice my Lord Chancellor took of him, when he beg'd leave to supply the deficiency of hi

t down by an old fellow, and pretend to take directions, but a true lawyer never makes any man's will but his own; and a

cheated the nation by doing thei

t measure of the land that passes by it; for 'tis a discouragement to the gown, that every ignorant rogue of an heir should in a word or two understand his father's meaning, and hold ten acres of land by half-an-acre of parchment. Nay, I hope to see the time when that there is indeed some progress made in, shall be wholly affected;

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the world changes but little, and, furthermore, that the mould of nigh two centuries cannot spoil the wit of sparkling Steele. Ah, Dick! Dick! you may have

how often must I tell you my lord is not stirring. His lordship has not slept well, you must come some other time; your lordship will send for him when you are at leisure to look upon money affairs; or if they are so saucy, so impertinent as to press a man of your quality for their own, there are canes, there's Bridewel, there's the stocks for your ordinary tradesmen; but to an haughty, thriving Covent Garden mercer, silk or laceman, your lordship gives your most humble service to him, hopes his wife is well; you have letters to write,

ng to my orders, cut you up, and embalm you, except you'll come down a little

TON. Charge

've before now known the widow herself go halves in), but no matter for that-in th

me? Why I had none but

s, last winter, at half a crown a day, a fellow waiting at your gate to bring me intellig

ery impudent fellow. Half a crown a day to att

and know when you should drop. Nay, my lord, if you had reflected upon your mortality half so much as poor I have for you, you w

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to his son-for Steele took care that virtue should be rewarded and the moral code otherwise preserved. As to her ladyship

have called to leave their condolences] Mrs.

of town this whole year; they are those whom your ladyship said

e has a grandchild yet or not. Lady Worth-I can't bear her company; [aside] she has so much of that virtue in her heart which I have in mouth only. Mrs. After-day-Oh, that's she that was the great beauty, the mighty toast abo

madam, they are

eved the whole town for her husband. They are certainly coming. Oh, no! here let me-thus let me sit and think. [Widow on her couch; while she is

eaid, bring something that is

patience; his lordship was old. To die is bu

bottles; THIRD LADY takes a

drinks! I have heard, indeed, but neve

the town says of the jilt, Flirt, the men liked so much i

mpudent flirt,

But I speak i

pers next woman.] N

DOW.] I can't believe it; nay

have none in reputation. I wonder at the men; I could never think her handsome. She has really a good shape and complexion but no mein; and no

, let us widows be true to ourselves, keep our count

l set up for our knowledge, why

tends to all the tenderness in the world, and would fain put the unwieldly upon us for the soft, the languid. She has of a sudden left her dairy, and sets up for a fine town lady; calls h

e-you would die, madam, to see her and her equipage: I thought her horses were ashamed of their finery; they dragged on

ne to be genteel; but the high prance of the horses, and the brisk

rning coach, it will so become her complexion; I confess I myself mourned for two years for no

. But I have been told,

l take the liberty to s

(I'll be sworn) a pass

I fear she'll dislike,

she

eption; but I'll tell you one,

ve such an unhappy relict as I am? But, dear m

oasts you and trembles

t be a

ally, you rally; but I

DY. I swe

whispers

t I can now know, to see my friends cheerful, and to honour an entertainment Tattleaid has prepared within for you. If I can find strength e

ere is no pleas

importune to my fresh calamity as to mention Nutbrain any mor

ed away. Ex

icture reproduced above. Are not its colours-albeit bold and merciless-tinged with the redeeming hue of naturalness? And of you, fair daughters of Eve (if any of you condescend to read these pages), let the author ask one imp