The Comic English Grammar: A New And Facetious Introduction To The English Tongue

F SUBSTANTIV

are either pr

are the names belonging to indi

d into nicknames, of imprope

any sorts, or sorts containing many individual? under th

e employed as common names: as, "They thought him a p

made to denote individuals, by the

tle man, and he

ill be the

mber, and case; they are all of the third person wh

airest mai

ess bumpe

pity baste

charms hav

inal

II. OF

sex is called Gender. There are three genders

imals of the male kind: as, a fop,

to animals of the female kind: a

her males nor females: as, a toast, a tankard, a po

er gender, of all sorts and kinds; but in the selection of the

ng agreeable emotions i

llowing proposition, "That almos

ice duck, and one or two other nice thi

or feminine gender: thus we say of the sun, that when he shines upon a Socialist

inal

ity, and so forth, are held to invest words with a feminine character. Thus the sun is said to be masculine, and the moon feminine. But for our own part, and our view is confirmed by the discoveries of astronomy, we believe that the su

inal

ne, tricked out, as she is, with gems and flowers. Cities and towns are likewise feminine, because there are as many windings, turnings, and little odd corners in them as there are in the female mind. A ship is feminine, inasmuch as she is blown about by every wind. Virtue is fem

istinguishes the sex i

fferent

. FE

elor

er Si

her And se

Moth

e don't

rdon the

our att

ting in

erence of te

. FE

Poe

Lione

or adjective being pref

s

. fe

bster A h

jenny-ass (

aid-servant, or fl

on animal) A female

s Jill. That may be; but it is by no means tr

n, but no

, but no

, but no

e, but no

e, but no

, but no

ut no turn-hen; and many a jolly cock, but not one jolly hen;

neighbour, servant and several others, are ei

ly strong but improper expressions. Yet we have no corresponding terms to apply, in case of necessity, to the female. Why is this? Doubtless because we never want them. For the same reason, our forefath

III. O

as one or more; as, one poet, two, three,

presses one object onl

more objects than one

pitch, tallow, grease, filth, butter, asparagus, &c.; o

n both numbers; as, sheep

ly formed by adding s to the singul

ve return

uo, and lo

our mut

e like tur

inal

ingular ends in x, ch softy sh,

mber, th

lural ma

e plura

e oxen,

N IV.

is between a quack-doctor and a physician; for while in Latin sub-stantives have six cases, in English they have but three. But the analog

inal

the Nominative, the Possessive or Gen

me of a thing, or the subject of the verb:

the Possessive Case. This case is distinguished by an apostrophe, wit

ed, and the other s is omitted: as, "The Ministers' Step;"-"

ke manner, dispensed with: as, "For goodness' sake!"-"For righteousn

on: as "Spring beat Bill;" that is, Bill or "William Neate." Hence, perhaps, the phrase, "I'll

may be declined in

GUL

he nomina

used to was

comb, your

oth

he pos

e th

you not to s

oid a li

oth

I the obje

hear whe

?-whom they

mot

UR

anxious wa

rs of a li

whene'er it d

hose pity wipes

aturer child

mouth with ca

moth

n master, fie

t varlets'

, roaring, r

r mo