Torchy, Private Sec.

somewhere on the social list. It may be down towards

' to sympathize with the lower clawsses. Nothing like that! Only it does help, when Marjorie, t

or a couple of weeks, and they'd been stayin' at the Ellins's Fifth-ave. house, just visitin' and havin' a

son Maxixe with me," says I, "a

m Ferdie. "I'm not a danci

Methodists,

It's only that I'm sure

u ain't so far from wro

ee! but this society life runs into coin, don't it? I'd dropped into one of them swell booterers and was beefin' away at the cle

ll. Send them up to my

und cutaway fittin' so snug at the waist, nor the snappy fall derby snuggled down over the lop ears, sugges

rs!" says I. "If it

he meant to hand me the mistaken identity dope first off; but after another glanc

's been all of two years since you used

"but-I-ah-I have an appointmen

him by the sleeve as he's backin' off,

!" he protes

But how should I know if someone has

ys he. "I-I'll see

ould almost hear the sigh of relief as he fades down the

ty-cent lodgin', and the only way I ever got any of it back was by tippin' him off to this vacancy on the coffee urn at the dairy lunch. Used to be copy boy on the Su

tly call him ornamental, either. No, him and that Apolloniris guy was quite diff'rent in their front and side elevation. Mostly arms and legs, Skeet is, and sort of swivel-jointed all over, with a back slope to his forehead and an under-cut chin.

ly boy in a fam'ly of five, and I understand all the Keyser girls have done first rate; one bein' forelady in a big

n a year ago, while Old Hickory was laid up at home there for a spell, and I was chasin' back and forth from the Corrugated to the Ellins house mo

o. It wa'n't Maggie's day for contributin' to the prodigal son fund, though, and Skeet was statin' his opinion of her reckless when the but

e old lady runs me out now when I happen to be carryin' the banner and can't come across with my little old fiv

hat I wasted valuable time tryin' to frame up just where in the gen'ral scheme of things a party like Skeet Keyser could connect with real money. After that I gave up the myst'ry and spent my

ntique act as last season's Boston dip, are you? Might as well spring the minuet. And specially when I'd had word that among others was to be a

venin', for instance. It was after the second number, and I'd made a dash into the gents' dressin' room to see if my white tie showed any symptoms of ridin' up in the back, and I'd just strolled

n' bowed in dignified by the same butler, and is passed on to-well, it's a funny world, ain't it? The maid on duty j

ays she, scar

s is to try to swallow his throat apple a couple of times, and then h

" says she, and waves Ske

been sittin' out on the side lines, as usual, and Vee has hinted how it would be nice and charitable of me to brace her for a spiel. I'd sort of been workin' myself up to the sacrifice, for you know Marjorie'

she, "but I think I have a partner for th

, much obliged," and I backs off ha

en two young shrimps; so I sidles into a corner where Ferdie si

u'd gone and had your

s he, "that one of us intends making an exhibiti

if she don't tackle the maxixe. Hello! Th

on the floor, if you'll believe it, was none other th

groans. "Don't

ghty mark, monkey with them twisty evolutions; but to have her get let in for it with a roughneck ringer like Skeet-well, that was goin' to be a real tra

se I could guess he wa'n't hep to any facts about Skeet. He was just a strange young gent

vine up and down the rink? Well, that's the identical kind of jar I got when Marjorie begins that willowy bendy figure. It ain'

ent in the floor. He seems just built for the job, though. In and out, round and round, through the Parisienne, the flirtation, and all the other frills, he pilots her safe, bendin' and swayin' to the music, his number ten fe

s, that never split out a waist seam in their lives; but Marjorie and her partner had the gallery right with 'em. Two or three times durin' the

to Ferdie. "That was real cla

ul that Marjorie didn't try to jump through a paper hoop

als; and if they omitted any fancy waves, you couldn't prove it by me. By this time too, Ferdie was s

of works like that could

having met him, you know," says F

e you ain'

half-and-half as I've ever seen pulled at a private dance, Ferdie is some agitated

est speak to Mar

ty of competition

, makin' dates for the next numbers. "Ferdie stares at

ink I ought to meet that young

l afterwards!" says I.

be asking me who he is!" he insists, "and if I don't know, what

rs by joshin' brother-in-law a little. "Congratulations on

's ears. "Ask Marjorie," says he. "I'

ad the full situation mapped out for him bla

ust be a guest of yours; but as he isn't-well, it's quite ti

r. Marjorie's done a lot of nice turns for me, a

ys I, "you could form a perf

ds sarcastic, "Well, what w

t he?" says I. "And unless you're achin' to start somethin'

nd grins. "That's so," says he. "All right, Torchy. Full diplomat

ugh. Walkin' over to Skeet I taps him on the shou

ps, "how-er-w

I. "But just a minute, if you don't mind," an

now," he be

f!" says I. "This is order

hind the draperies I shoots it at him straig

all to say that. I had a bid, all right; got it with m

e of Ma

et her at Mrs. As

s feet and tries

says I, "or I'll call up Sister Maggie and

says Skeet sulky, "i

beginnin' to get the thread. The place

et

e, or business,

's a regular thing. Last night I was Cousin Harry for an old maid from Washington-went to a swel

yours has turned out a good asset after all.

p on livin' in an elevator apartment she wouldn't have me around. Maggie too! Didn't I hand it to her, though? Notice me frost her, eh? But I said I'd show 'em some day. Guess I've delivered the goods. Look at me now, all dolled up ever

hardly keep from throwin' a chair at him. Course something had to be dealt out. He n

as long as you can get away with it. But whisper!" Here I

ys he careless

once when I'm afraid you're

ys he, twistin'

cially the savage-lookin' one with the framed lamps? Well, that

eet. But he's l

big one with the wide shoulders-that's Bro

yed. "You-you don't m

k all round the room. They've both heard, and they're beefin' something awful. Course I a

d and panicky. He begins paw

you," says I, "without b

eth chattery. He'd grabbed his silk lid and was m

They'll be layin' for you there. Why not bluff

ll," says he. "I-I'

at portière until I find one of the maids. Oh, here's one now. S-s-s-t! That you, Maggie? Well, smu

last glimpse I had of Skeet he was bein' hustled

inds Marjorie right in the midst of a fam'ly

wall flower at too many dances, and I'm tired of it. No, I don't know who he is,

s I, "and begs to be excused for the rest of the evenin' on account of feelin'

idea!" gasp

e, he asks confidential, "What did you use on our

says I. "Nope. This was ju