Voices from the Past

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4,

e something about my life. Writing, late at night, I hope

- at 4:30 a.m.,

ays after my

s were swept by gunfire, 20,000 Confederates died, the Union lost 16,000. Boys, mostly boys. Which General woke me during the night? Dark days, dark nights. The Army of the Pot

why did you

remembers this

e panic in rooms

here have taught me a grea

h each one of us is sorely tried; we have read anew life's "great tragic vol-um

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opula-tion of 5 million, folly vs. folly, brother vs. brother, Comm

outh says I will never end slavery because it is an honor-able way of life. Our Indian brothers h

patriotism can blind us. It is a "whirlwind," as Emerson reminds us. For my par

can win against men who oppose, who are selfish or temporarily deaf. I believe the cit

19,

firm m

about my village of New Salem, my home in Springfield with its maple trees. I see th

lit and candles on my desk, I

ill batter our log cabin. I will recall what it was to go hungry. I will try t

graph office: NO TELEGRA

se lines I wrote a few years

20,

. I am lean, muscular, have dark skin, coarse black hair and grey eyes

ed our cow, lugged pails of water, cleaned slop, fed the stove. Weather meant al-most nothing to my family; we lived exactly like Indians in our 3-sid

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in Virginia, of undistinguished families-second families, perhaps I should sa

cky about 1781, where a year or two later he was killed by Indians, not in

on. When I was eight he removed from Kentucky to Indiana; we reached our new home about the time the stat

the great task ahead. Though very young I had an ax put in my hands...and from that

lock of wild turkey approached our new log cabin. Standing inside, I shot through

d never inside of a college or academy building till I had a law license. After I was twenty-three and had sepa-rated from my f

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erstand Latin, happened to sojourn in the neighborhood, he was looked upon as a wizard. There was absolutely nothing to excite ambition for education. Of course, when I came of age I did not know much

diana, in the autumn of 1816; I was eight. The removal was partly on account of his resen

en came the Black Hawk War; I was elected a Captain of volunteers

ach head neatly scalped. I ran for leg-islature the same year (1832), and was beaten. It is the only time I ever hav

Beside the road, my horse browsing, I read a book. I remember sit-ting by a creek, li

ss it came through politics. So, politics had to shine my shoes and buy my trousers. I

5,

life. It can be all condensed into a simple sentence, and that sentence

rey's lines

adding crowd's

shes never lea

l sequestered

noiseless teno

ore t

r. God bless her; all that I am or ever hope to be I owe to her. I be-lieve that I in-

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tled the pegs for her coffin. I can see her grave outside our cabin. I could see it each time we opened the door. In the spring and often d

her came, her love was

night...you're tired. What a big stack of wood y

es howled, she'd lean over me and say a few words or kiss my for

, I pray the Lord my soul to t

than I. Again and again, she urged me to attend school. Each time we moved, she

e of the cabin and I would read. We learned the fables quickly. Her favorite fable

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rie summer, how it seems to hold down everything as far as the eye c

pulled his plow; there was small corn growing

w, too, that we can resurrect our-selves, sometimes pleasurably. Today, I esteem those glimpses that reassure me, in spite

eedom for action. Men should be able to draw from the past; men should be able to construct for the present, a plan. Man shou

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there were about twenty-five families living in Salem in those days. I enjoyed delivering the mail personally; there was ample time to be friendly. So, I stuffed the letters inside my hat and w

abbit liked to sit near me. I would shut my eyes and appreciate the greatness of life in th

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two, put themselves out for me, and gave me an upstairs room with a lamp. At night I got out needle and thr

; it seemed great fun to me to spell out words, so much easier than working with an ax. Mr

I fell

shucked corn, cradled wheat, chopped wood, ferryboated, clerked...$2.00 here, $5.00 here, $7.00 here. My debit column required all of my scheming. While I struggled t

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of Benjamin Franklin. Our rough center table was usually overloaded with documents-like some outland-ish mule. Legal books and newspapers filled shelves. A narrow window faced the street; another window le

kfights, women, and horse races. For sixteen years we kept at it, learning, unlearning

-walks. Pigs in the streets, mud on our boots-so it went. We offered our services at all hours of the day. Often I never walked home for lunch. When I rode cir

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istened to as a boy was anti-slavery. I be-lieved him. I saw blacks in chains, men and women. I soon learned about the cruelty that menaced their lives, destroyed their lives; I felt that I could, if I lived long enough, thwart slavery, perhaps abolish it, make ou

herded and treated like animals. Our family moved from Kentucky, troubled by the ways of slavery. My black clients sometimes confided in me, described,

a piece of steel-very hard to scratch anything on it, an

had not really ended, to another beginning that might not end. The oxen were faithful. They meant much to me. I will not forget

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ond or third day on the river, a tornado-like storm struck us; I thought we would lose more than our cargo. Down went the stern, down went the bow. I thought lightning would str

father? My Uncle James? Two women were sold while I watched at the corner of a busy street. Two women, then three men were sold. Were they friends, relatives? Did

n defense of freedom. No court can

ay ev

a

ove I was once young. There is my Ann Rutledge. I see her auburn hair, blue eyes and delicate face-more than ephemera. My love f

ships were to remain my lot; I could not see harnessing her to a life of animal drudgery.

ery to wander through hungry woodlands, woodlands I never saw again, that ext

ry of her voice, as she spoke, as she sang. She loved

of her voice...in the midst of

en

roll at Jacksonville Academy. I

rked to-gether in the fields. When she worked at Jim Short's farm, I

allows were around. But malaria was around and put me down, a day, two days,

er, come, An

Rutl

have tha

mall hands in mine; her corn silk hair was around her face. In two days she was gone

d miles of walking, before I rec

ily. I want to know how

te

lux of men, women, children, reapers, sowers, which comes first? Which the most important? We Americans expropri-ate

s not destiny. It is an interchange of ideas, a wave or waves of emotion, a desire for betterment-and beyond that! The pioneer has this i

te

w wid

t 1st

d find myself sitting up in bed, gesturing, talking to myself. Alarmed, I would dress and lay a fire and sit

at the most unexpected moments. Melancholy influ-ences my decisions, legal decisions or those at home,

eclosures, defaults in payment, land titles. I lost a manslaughter case but won my defense of the nine women in-volved

circuit I avoided home very frequently, staying away two or three w

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ort me. I wished to help others. I felt that there was more to life than brute labor. I found friends. Honesty appealed. I was not impress

lying in the bush, lying in

as a slave

a slave to t

bolish all ki

lish their kind of slav-ery. There is the slavery of

was ha

come man's

of corn shocks, I confronted

st 9

a tree I had blazed when county surveying; I walked on to the second blaze that marked a green pool. It was a small shallow pool rimmed wit

ye wing

d my path

t know s

tals weep

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gentle beauty, blonde as corn silk, ready with dreamy smiles. She gave Billy rare personal happiness, made it easier for him after annoying legal squ

home by my mother. She is eight; I am eight or nine, I can't remember. I remember that she was pretty. We played together all day. Then, came sunup, the ox team hauled awa

her has neve

t 14,

ny plodded my

ash-out, new ruts in the road, a downhill run, a flooded creek. As we plodded along I read my law books or played the harmonica. June, July, August...Januar

I settled my cases under trees, in churches,

e would stop in a patch of woods on a hot day; I would yank off my boots and rest my corns. Thunderstorms often fell

aple grove at Dobson's Creek; he knew the roosting place of the red hawk, the place of the

hose pigeons...a wh

motives. He knew every type of engine, their speed

s we got into our buggy. "Let's

ns Jen

e is

ut eleven

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ory, I found something Euripi

ing of evil, by

from man to what no

is the greatest goal

world that form and sub-stance of government whose leading object is to elevate the condition of men; to lift artificial weights from

es

ebald through a bonfire of shavings and cornstalks-to settle a bet. He raced across a field toward the blaze; just as he reached it, the pony bucked and pitched Ike into the

un. As county surveyor I commu-nicated through transit and tapes, through timberland acreage. They arranged life in useable

mber

aceful ballots-this is essential. Our constitution proves that the ballot c

in control. I raise my spyglass and look through my window. A small sailboat moves along the Potomac. It is possib

mber

passes the

ist

g as common sense where the bulk of mankind is concerned? Is Christianity a bulwark to be counted on, or is it cleverly concocted pretension? Must tragedy dog

er questions

d answers. Only fools accept the face of things. Men weary of my tales and my humor as I hunt for enlightenment for t

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ber 15

ved to be scratched...he was Robert's pet but when I lay on the floor of the parlor to

t in my shirt sleeves, and answer

ding the iceman, as he tries,

well she attended the children. She found time to hel

There's that new one, A For

prune the trees, to cut wood, plant flowers. The horse

inside, fine for stuffing letters and checks. Maybe Bill

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en

the "Little Giant." I called him a "slan-derer" and a "sneak." He dubbed me a "fraud," and alluded to pro-slavery c

, boomed his entry into every town and city. Often our debates were veritable picnics, fireworks, bands. I rode on a

e seat; my voice, pitched higher than his, also lacked accomplished delivery. The silent artillery of time was firing at us.

not altogether a

of reckoni

54. Linc

I l

leave the country no better

ber 29

D

ntended to show that the negro ought to be a slave-if he shall now fight in the Confederate Army to keep h

or it. Or, if one out of four will, for his own freedom, fight to keep the

irst those who desire it for themselves, and secondly those who desire it for others. Whenever

we ask: what

, guard one's health. It is also an opportunity to perfect national and international law. Cer-tainly, freedom should not be a code but should emphas

ur

D

equally, that he may enslave A? You say A is white and B is black. It is color then; the lighter, having the right to ens

again. By this rule you are to be the slave to the first man you meet with an in-tellect superior to your own. But, say you, it is a question of interest;

le fire in

er 4,

ning I take up

t is the cause of the present, and the present will be the cause of the fu-ture. A

as questioning, doubting Thomas did. But in my poor, maimed, withered way bear with me as I go

each other in the sectarian denominations. They all claim to be Christians, and interpret their sev-eral creeds as infallible

of my mother, are settled and fixed moral precepts with me. I have concluded to dis-miss from my mind the debatable wrangles that once perplexed me with distrac-tions that stirred up but never absolutely settled anything. I have to

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old man from Arkansas, a local politician. After spelling out some good new

in the cornfield and went out to see what was the matter. He found him loading and firing into the top of a tree. Not being able to dis-cover anything in the tree, he asked his brother what he was firing

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orsemen, trainloads of folk. Fifty-thousand poured into my little town.

m, said a few

t. I forgot to stable the horse, forgot to milk t

lost in

ew, dus

amusing to m

tar barrels and torches. Peo

ln came out of

rness, out of th

et singers were still singing, singin

er 13

ing that stair. It was difficult to say good-bye to my old partner and friend. I gathered up some books a

e been working t

en years,"

cross word all th

nod

's ri

in our old shingle,

ck, and then we'll go on as i

of the stairs,

y I felt certain that I woul

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te

br

will it be finished? And when it has been completed will the union of the North and South begin? A carpenter tips his hat: "Good morning, Mr. President." Thr

ing in the library.

Sparta. I be-lieve that the Spartans

men fear

ll have te

lling it a hundred different ways! The Iroquois had their idea of

.. I see they have

1st

Li

ield, I can summon fig-ures. Our last year together, Billy and I earned $2,300 each. We had 63 cases at $10.00 each; we had 20 at $15.00 each, etc. Twenty or twenty-five brought in $5.00. Apart from these combined earnings I added about $1,200 on my prairie circuits. This is a

d out with faithful grunts, special ear signals and soft nuz-zlings. No, it wasn't always money-

very difficult to spell out,

ber 1

en

egrams contradict telegrams. In my bedroo

ide in the a

the flood leads

the voyage

shallows and

ll sea are w

ke the current

our ve

re finer cou

his war, the abolishing of black servitude,

tu

rubbing hard after plowing or splitt

trouble me. There are thousands of neglected, hungry fol

people we are trapped between violence and the mending of

r food when men are hungry. When whole communities are hungry, when death stalks our na

k into my saddlebag and ride into the country, along the Potomac. I

20

a

ve it from the dining room where he has excellent chandelier light. Of course I can not find time to sit for him during the day. And all those faces on his canvas are so dull, such solemn faces; seven dull men surround me as I sign the Ema

ay e

plac

xual malprac

e ind

lack slaves and white mas-ters. In the same year, there were 56,649 mulattoes in the free states; but for the most part they were

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it, he is involved in national issues and problems he could not anticipate. About him is a sea of new faces; he m

is revolution," I reminded my dissatisfied fellow countrymen. Grim cabinet meetings took place; telegram followed telegram; I

w showed me an alien river; there were more than thirty rooms in the White House, rooms and soun

n the harbor of Charleston, S. C., surrendered yesterday, after 34 hours of Confederate bo

e country! That left us embattled! Now, I can not, will not, review in detail the war's progress. Must each batt

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ess appropriated the sum of $900,000 to aid in its suppression. Five ships have been

rime. To bring even greater pressure and afford greater suc-cess, my Secretary of State has negotiated a successful Anti-Slave Treaty with England. On April 24th, 1862, t

rade dangerous and unprosper-ous, with both th

be worthwhile. Although it is 2 a.m. and chilly-I must celebrat

emb

a

e...that privilege comes only now and then. I think I will write an item for the pa

t makes might, and in that

te

emb

nd apples-they are my favorites, eaten in front of a fireplace. What an appetite I used to have. I

tchen for a b

he perfect mulatto, traipsed in, holding the green bowl she loves, balanci

dent...popcohnnnn, wid plent

pier than the popcorn because it told me that before long the war wou

nd