How to Accidentally start a Cult

e Rant That S

h about "vibrational hustle alignment" would go vir

iend's dog, repurposed into a makeshift outfit for Magic & Muffins Mondays, a forgotten side hustle th

coln Park, waving a coffee-stained wand and preaching nonsense to a group o

tioned to believe you're ordinary! But you're not. You're a goddamn spiritual Roomba! You absorb

sion. A pigeon landed on Nate's shoulder, looked h

dn't

tle. Hustle is not something you do-it's something you

odie guy wept

spitting facts," right as Nate tripped over a yoga mat and land

that, the un

ideo got

mixed it with

ared him "The

lion views, two fan art tributes, and a disturbing number o

d three weeks ago after an incident involving expired lasagna, a raccoon, and one unfortunate smoke alarm

essages.Mom: "Nathan, are you leading a cul

have the robe back?

ave 47,000 followers

ed at the screen like it h

opened I

scre

now on mugs, T-shirts, and a neon poster

ne had erected a cardboard shrine. There were candle

ake the

clutching a lukewarm Pop-Tart, "I think I

claimed to be allergic to clouds, just nodded. "Yeah, bro. I felt your

ga mat and got

, with alarming sincer

e in his hands. "Th

ither fight it...

new follower co

prophet of the future vibes" offere

location with the words: "Enligh

er-showered, and wearing a dog ro

idea how t

wo

m... didn'

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