Poise: How to Attain It

POS

acquiring poise is to familiarize o

ll at ease, fearful, devoured by dread of other people's censu

d at the mere notion that strangers have perceived this they become quite out of countenance

ve, they will find themselves certainly the victims of the small embarrassments

nt in the way of self-conquest to be aimed at

familiar to everybody. It is a question of temperament and of

n the mastery of self which enables one to judge of the proportions of things, i

exercises are often recommended by

themselves to no impulsive action, without first withdrawing into themselves and tak

eed with which the heart beats and, as a result

ideas take on a less confused form. In a word, unreasoning impulses no longer f

ow speak of those which should become a matter of daily practis

ng at night. Phrases learned just before going to sleep fix themselves more readily in the mind. They rem

ttitude of deliberate calm, repressing every sort of jerky

e should keep on re

ropose to be compos

gradually into our souls and will permit us to think quietly, without the risk of becoming enta

eding can be readily convinced by proving

s patriotism, revolt, blood, always produce

hat the constant repetition of an assurance ultimately lea

ed," is not all that is necessary. One must prove

lar interests, is to mentally review the words and the actions of the day, and to pas

ELF-EXA

that sincerity toward oneself is a large factor in attaining that firmnes

asy than to pass in mental review, every evening,

it, honestly confessing to oneself al

eplies, that lack of poise did not permit us to make at the time, so that

an who can find no arguments until he finds himself beyond the reach of his opponents. It is after one has gone out, when one is on the doorstep, that one sud

stom himself to practise this force of mental gy

ture contests by teaching him

one of the obsessions that too often af

n is essentially artificial

for him to meet it in others. He suffers als

judge and then on other occasions he

ealized in ordinary life. But he is more than ready to blame those who

rontery, of taking all his chimeras for realities and is angry

o the making of confidences. But when he attempts them his

en, tend toward hypochondria, unless hi

f-examination can be made quite a difficult

this examination should be rigorously undertaken every

poise become what one has psychologically termed "forces," that is to say people

OLU

can make of our own actions, it will be of great

tter of grea

that he ought and by planning the accomplishment of some de

making up his mind to leave no s

ll, which he dreads very much, and falls asleep while repeating to himself:

s, the acquisition of courage and of

the night by a species of incubation, and on the morrow present themselves to us q

ts of the timid, they should repeat earnestly the sentences that tend to comp

PAR

is a good thing every morning to map out on

uld be worked out with thi

nalyze each one of the proposed steps, carefully taking into ac

s, paying particular attention to one's line of action, to one's method of presentatio

e, so as to be able to deliver them in such a speedy and convincing fashion that

me confused and will not be so much in dread of stammering or stuttering, which are

and it is a sign of great lack of address to allo

n and gestures it may be well to repea

resee even the most insignificant details, so that the fear of maki

situation because, when summoned by his chief, he became so confused

his cause effectively, became hopelessly embarrassed at perceiving his mistake, the r

ented him from thinking of anything but his unpardonable stupidity. His native awkwardness became all the worse at this and, utterly un

he pretext that the direction of important affairs could no lon

re than ordinarily intelligent and that

cking in presence of mind to accustom themselves to a speci

of nothing but weighty affairs and

rustful of themselves every occasi

ains to seek every possible op

e of these things should be for them a subject of careful study, and if, when evening comes, the daily s

ack of poise, they should carefully examine into the reasons for

e those of our friends whose homes are

ch, in view of the quietude of its associations,

we should make all our

ke this," while rehearsing one's entrance,

arks, an easy enough matter since one will

cide as to the len

ance, to get up and say good-by a

one to prolong one's visit, and for this purpose should have ready a plausible excuse, such as w

study to make one's

we are at it, to prepare

topic of discussion on such visits, whose good-will

arks on the happenings of the day, on the plays that

should express opinions of such a natu

the risk of being involved in a discussion in which he will be co

rike a serious blow at hi

to poise should be above all

of educating his will-power by again giving rise to that confusion which is always lurking in t

seeing objections and in preparing such

chievements of poise; it is also the

e to train oneself to speak in

s will never be at a loss. He will find con

of the mechanical exercises necess

ver, that before one can

this contention one has only to cite the case of those persons who, while ordinarily experiencing great difficulty in expressing thems

ove the mechanical exercises that we have prescribed in a former chapter, a profound an

things in short sentences as

onfused fashion, one should not hesitate to seek for a cha

t and begin over again if any tendency to stammer, to he

one's ease one can seek to put in

certing as the idea of sta

at one should begin all over again

thing. From the moment of the first failure they become p

quire poise must a

y should seek for them. But first of all they must make

ver fail to enlarge upon their theme. If need be, they can p

must strive to recall the phrase that caused the trouble an

lways much better articulated, and in speaking leisurely one is more likely to avoid the embarrassment in

search for poise consists in accustoming

word which caused the trouble, pronouncing each syllable slowly and distinctly. Then one should incorporate it in

hould seek opportunities for entering public as

it is a risky matter to appear upon the scene when the house is full, or the guests for the most part assembled. B

o suit the particular occasion but as a matter of instinct. He will go naturally to those whom he h

the necessity of meeting a former friend with whom he has fallen out and will pass him without speaking. He will not talk of deformities to a man who is deformed. In a word, his poise, while leaving him free to exe

ches to be made upon entering. In those cases where he is not absolutely sure of the relationship of people or of the condition of

UGHT OF

can do it, banishing absolutely from one's mind the doubt, that, like leprosy, a

nounces these words with absolute belief implies this sentence: "I will succeed because

lures, or, if you must be occupied with them, let i

taking. But from this moment I propose to think of i

here I was in the wrong, so that under similar circums

e the only people w

rased altogether from the vocabulary o

n which weaklings

of fate, without stopping to think that they have the

y improperly--as an example of shrinking

ng leaves nearly always dies unnoticed, and that it is in most cases anemic and faded in color. The type that wins the admiration of the world is that, which, disengaging itself from its

exact to liken the timid to these degenerate flowers, which are indebted

ort of excuse for compla

heir own defects solely t

-fortune, which grow to be their accomplices in their detestation of effort and suggest to th

ovoke the hostile forces that are dormant in everything and that array themselves the more readily agai

gifted with poise find themselves be

cing that it compels conviction in others

ople to whom it is given become of the most wonderful help to others, their

ess subject to hours of discouragement, to moments of

he more certain he is that he has created in those about him an atmosp

the encouragement and the confidence that his poise and self-reliance have built up in those around him, an