The Inspector-General

tretched himself, and told his valet to give him a little mirror which was on the table. He wished to look at the heat-boil which had appeared on his nose the previous evening; but to his

bed, and shook himself violently! No, no nose any more! He d

ot be compared with the committee-men appointed for the Caucasus district, who are of quite a different kind. The learned committee-man-but Russia is such a wonderful country that when one committee-man is spoken of all the others from Riga to Kamschatka refer it to themselv

eet who sold shirt-fronts; "go to my house in Sadovaia Street and ask

s always remarkably clean and stiff. He wore the same style of whiskers as those that are worn by governors of districts, architects, and regimental

to his rank, if possible that of vice-governor of a province; but he was prepared to be content with that of a bailiff in some department or other. He was, moreover, not disinclined to marry, but only such a lady who

f up in his cloak, and held his handkerchief to his face as though his nose bled. "But perhaps it is all only my imagination; it is imposs

straight. Others with sleepy faces were carrying fresh cakes on trays, and yesterday's newspapers stained with c

erly up to a mi

th disgust. "If there were only something there in

enly he halted as if rooted to the spot before a door, where something extraordinary happened. A carriage drew up at the entrance; the carriage door was o

d return to the carriage. After about two minutes the nose actually came out again. It wore a gold-embroidered uniform with a stiff, high collar, trousers of chamois leather, and a sword hung at its side. The hat, adorned w

is face, and which could neither walk nor drive, should wear a uniform. He ran after the carriage, which fortunately had stopped a short way off before the Grand Bazar of Moscow.

ide on nothing, and looked for the nose everywhere. At last he saw it standing before a shop.

g-the uniform, the hat, and so on-show that it is a

near it, but the nose paid

aloff at last, plucking up

?" asked the nose

-you should know where you belong-and I fin

what you are talking about. Ex

the Ascension Bridge may carry on her business without one, but since I am on the look out for a post; besides in many houses I am acquainted with ladies of high position-Madame Tchektyriev, wife of a state-councillor, an

d the nose. "I repeat, please e

I am to understand your words. It seems to me the matter is as cl

am myself. Besides, there can be no close relations between us. To judge by the buttons of your

of a lady's dress, and there approached an elderly lady wearing a quantity of lace, and by her side her graceful daughter in a white dres

led still more when he spied under the brim of her hat her little round chin, and part of her cheek faintly tinted with rose-colour. But suddenly he sprang back as though he had been scorched. He remembered that he had nothing but an absolute blank in place of a nose, and tears started to

it wore a hat with a plume in it and a gold-embroidered uniform; but he had not noticed the shape of the cloak, nor the colour of the carriages and the horses, nor even whether a lackey stood behind it, a

was his acquaintance, the Privy Councillor, whom he was accustomed to style "General," especially when strangers were present. There was Iarygin, his inti

traight to the superintendent of police." So saying, he got into a dro

dent at home?" he asked o

d the porter, "he

t as I t

just gone out; if you had been a moment

to his face, re-entered the droshky and

asked the

aigh

-roads here. Shall I go t

se they acted more promptly than other authorities. As for demanding any explanation from the department to which the nose claimed to belong, it would, he felt, be useless,

s searching would be in vain, or might last over a whole month. Finally, as though visited with a heavenly inspiration, he resolved to go directly to an advertisement office, and to advertise the loss of his nose, giving all its distinctive characteristics in detail, so

coachman, lashing his sha

ere a grey-haired official, in an old coat and with spectacles on his nose, sat

dvertisements here?

ed functionary, looking up and then fastening

an advertisemen

cial, putting down figures on paper with one hand, and

uld you believe it, sir, this little dog is really not worth twenty-four kopecks, and for my own part I would not give a farthing for it; but the countess is quite gone upon it, and offers a hundred roubles' reward

ed to sell a barouche, which had been brought from Paris in 1814 and had been very little used; others wanted to dispose of a strong droshky which wanted one spring, a spirited horse seventeen years old, and so on. The

I am in a great hurry," he

e, sixty-four kopecks!" said the grey-haired official, throwing their notes back

I cannot get hold of the perpetrator. I only want you to insert an advertis

your name

tate-councillor, Madame Podtotchina, wife of a Colonel. Heaven forbid that they sh

ho has run awa

be such a great swindle! It i

nd this Mr Nose has stolen f

s my own nose which has gone, I don't know

appeared? I don

e. Consider; how can I live without such a prominent part of my body? It is not as if it were merely a little toe; I would only have to put my foot in my boot and no one would notice its absence. Every Thursday I ca

ected. "No, I cannot insert an advertisem

! Why

e could advertise that his nose was lost. People alread

se! There is nothing of

he insertion of which he paid two roubles, sixty-three kopecks; and this advertisement simply announced the loss of a black-haired poodle. There

a poodle, but my own no

insert your

really has

ho can provide you with any kind of nose you like. But I see

my word of honour. Lo

ch of snuff. "All the same, if you don't mind," he added wit

oved the handkerchief

ficial. "It is perfectly flat like a fres

s. I shall be particularly obliged to you, and I shall be glad that this incident has procured me the

it, you should apply to someone who has a skilful pen, so that he may describe it as a curious, natural freak, and publish the article in the Northern

eading there the name of an actress whom he knew to be pretty, he involuntarily smiled, and his hand sought his pocket to see if he had a blue ticket-fo

s his sympathy by a few polite words. "I much regret," he said, "your extraordinary mishap. Will you not t

skilfully concealing at the same time the cover, whic

matter," he exclaimed angrily. "Don't you see that I lack precisely the essential feature for taking snuff? The

e commissary of police. He arrived just as this dignitary was reclining on his couch, and say

e, that the committee-man's vi

g else was a cheque. "It is a thing," he used to say, "to which it is not easy to find an equivalent; it re

ith a case, that nature required one to rest a little after eating (this showed the committee-man that the commissary

ything said against him as an individual, but he could not endure any reflection on his rank or social positi

sed his head proudly, and said with dignity, "After such insulting expr

stibule he saw his valet Ivan stretched on the leather couch and amusing himself by spitting at the ceiling, which he did very cleverly, hitting every time the

d hastened to take o

ressed, threw himself in an armchair and,

n from me in war or in a duel, or if I had lost it by my own fault! But it has disappeared inexplicably. But no! it is impossible," he continued after reflecting a few moments, "it is incredible that a nose can disappear like that-quite incredible. I

he pain convinced him that he was quite wide awake. He walked slowly to the looking-glass and at first closed his eyes, hop

a button, a silver spoon, a watch, or something simi

to marry her daughter, he gently drew back, declaring that he was still too young, and that he had to serve five years more before he would be forty-two. This must be the reason why the lady, in revenge, had resolved to bring him into disgrace, and had hired two sorceresses for that object. One thing was certain-his nose had not been cut off; no one had entered h

a legal action against the wife of a superior officer, or

the vestibule. Soon Ivan himself came in with the lights. Kovaloff quickly seized a handkerchief and covered the place where his nose had been

o the vestibule than a stran

valoff live he

ajor, rising rapidly

airly full cheeks-the same who at the commencement of this story was stan

ctly

just bee

ay?" stammered

at the police commissary on whose cheeks and fu

t?" he ask

official; and what is still more strange, I myself took it at first for a gentleman. Fortunately I had my glasses with me, and then I saw at once that it was a n

h excitement. "Where is it? Whe

f a barber living in the Ascension Avenue, who is now safely locked up. I had long suspected him of drunkenness and theft; only the day before yesterday he stole

ed Kovaloff. "Will you not stay

cost of living is very high nowadays. My mother-in-law lives with me, and there are several c

not recover full consciousness for several moments, so great was the effect of this unexpected good news. He p

he heat-boil on the left side, which came out yes

finishes by coalescing with our normal mental state, just as the circles which the fall of a pebble forms on the surface of water, gradually die away. Kova

a feeling of indescribable dread, he rushed towards his dressing-table, and stood bef

not remain there. He held it to his mouth and warmed it a little wi

you stupid

h it had been a cork. The Major's face began to twitch feverishly. "Is it possible that it won't

n of imposing appearance, who had magnificent black whiskers and a healthy wife. He ate fresh apples every morning

e doctor said that did not matter; then, making him turn his face to the right, he felt the vacant place and said "H'm!" then he made him turn it to the left and did the same; finally he again gave him a fillip with his finger, so that the Major started like a horse wh

the wife of a state-councillor, Madame Podtotchina-although after what she has done, I don't want to have anything to do with her except through the agency of the police. I beg you," continued Kovaloff in a supplicating tone, "find some way or other of replacing it; even if it i

ts' feelings by refusing them. I could certainly replace your nose, but I assure you on my word of honour, it would only make matters worse. Rather let Nature do her own work. Wash the place often with cold water, and I assure you that even without a nose, you will be just as well a

it at any price. I would r

to you, but I can do nothing more; you are at any rate convinced of my

a profound reverie, he only saw the edge of his snow-w

te to the Colonel's wife and see whether she would not return to

er ran a

Alexandra P

who have taken the principal part in it. Its unexpected separation from the place which it occupied, its flight and its appearances sometimes in the disguise of an official, sometimes in proper person, are nothing but the consequence of unholy spells

espect, I have the honour

n Kova

long in coming,

laton Ko

whom you speak has not been at my house, either disguised or in his proper person. It is true that Philippe Ivanovitch Potantchikoff has paid visits at m

nished because, as you well know, I was quite of the opposite mind. If after this you wish to ask for my daughter's hand, I should be glad to gra

ra Podto

The committee-man was experienced in such matters, for he had been often officially deputed to conduct criminal investigations while in the Caucasus. "Bu

ctators which gathered there daily was enormous. On one occasion someone spread a report that the nose was in Junker's stores and immediately the place was besieged by such a crowd that the police had to interfere and establish order. A certain speculator with a grave, whiskered face, who sold cakes at a theatre door, had some strong wooden benches made which he placed before the window of the stores, and obligingly invited the public to stand on them and look in, at the modest charge of twenty-four kopecks. A veteran colonel, leaving his house ear

but in the Tauris Gardens. Some students of the Academy of Surgery went there on purpose to see it. A high-born lady wrote to the ke

spleased. One gentleman asserted with great indignation that he could not understand how in our enlightened age such absurdities could spread abroad, and he was astonished that the Government did not d

of events is again