Cannot Afford That Expensive Love

Nadia's Point Of View

“What kind of laundry is this! Why can't the dirt be removed?!” Melanie complain, I washed her clothes for money. I closed my eyes in annoyance.

Relax, Nadia. I said to myself.

“I have repeated that several times washing. I also paid for the water to be used to rinse it but it's still no effect.” I said calmly even though inside I wanted to explode because I was so tired. Really really tired.

She looked at me badly, as if she wanted to hurt me.

“Do you want to know the truth? You're not good at washing!" She yelled in annoyance.

That's when I completely exploded in annoyance. I threw the soap I was holding in front of her and she look at me shocked.

“What the fuck?!”

I looked at her with my angry eyes. I'm disgusted with this woman! She thought she were rich but the truth is she's fucking not!

“It's not my fault that your dress is too dirty for you to scold me for it! It's because you're the one wearing it! So next time, don't tell me to wash your panties and other dirt in life!” I shouted angrily, I was so tired. “I didn't sleep just to clean it, you know that?” I added. I stayed up all night just to clean it, to remove the dirt.

She was shocked and could not speak.

Before I left, I looked at her again, “Don't don't need to pay me!” I shouted before I completely left. I stroked my hair while walking home. I don't need her money, I've been tired of what she says to me and my brother for a long time.

That woman is so arrogant, if it weren't for the money I wouldn't wash her clothes, she's so arrogant. After all, she is not a loss. There are many people who wants to wash their clothes here in town.

When I got home, my younger brother immediately greeted me. Niel, my only brother.

“You're home.” He said. I smiled and entered our house made of bamboo. I sat on our sofa which is also made of bamboo.

“How are you?” I asked while resting. "Your studies? I'm telling you, Niel, improve your studies. You're 16 years old now." I always tell him to study hard because what he does is not for others because it is for himself so that people won't bully him.

He scratched his head.

“Yes, I always put that first. I won't complain.” He said while smiling.

“Have you eaten?” I asked.

He shook his head, so I opened my old wallet, there was only 150 pesos in there which was my salary for doing laundry, I took 50 pesos and gave it to him.

"Buy a cooked food, there's probably some leftover rice to eat." I said and he nodded before quickly leave the house. "Hurry up!" I added.

Life is really hard here in the town where my brother and I live. But even so, learn to fight.

I looked around our living room, we have a small television, our bathroom is outside the back of our house. It's also just made of bamboo, I just put a curtain so no one can peek.

We have two rooms, Niel's is a little bigger because I made him a study table, it's also made of bamboo, it's not beautiful but I can say that you can use it and it's durable. We only have an electric fan and a light bulb in the living room. We have to do that because we also have to save money on the electricity bill.

We don't have a bed so we just put foam on the floor. The door of our bedroom is a curtain. The kitchen is at the back of our house, we only use charcoal to cook rice, I rarely cook a dish, not because I don't know how, but the price of the dish I would cooked is really high, so I prefer to just buy a cooked foods.

I don't know if we can get out of the difficulties of life.

Sometimes, it makes me lose my only hope, it's so tiring. Because again and again, why aren't we rich?

Who am I to blame? Our parents? The god? I shuddered at the thought. Why should I blame God? I should thank him more.

My only hope is that Niel finish school, that is always included in my prayers. Even if it's not for me, just for him, he can finish for himself.

I can no longer expect anything from myself, I have stopped studying. The reason is also because of the difficulty of life. I chose to work rather than study. My mother doesn't care about what happens to us. Until she lost her life.

Every night, it always comes to my mind, what if I studied? Isn't this how we live? Are we rich?

In the middle of thinking I heard Niel coming back, he was holding a cooked meat. While in the middle of eating I was listening to Niel's stories about his studies.

“Improve your studies, huh? Just tell me if you need anything at school. I'll find a way to do it.” I told him.

“I know we don't have enough money-”

"I know, Niel. But I'm here, I always have my ways. Okay? Don't be shy to tell me. My brother, you should always tell me." I said and he did nothing but nod.

That night I slept thinking a lot, I needed a job, because I wasn't earning enough from helping in the wet market. I've been thinking about Niel's college. I will need a lot of money by chance.

“This is your money.” I said to Niel as I handed him the money, it's for his whole day class. But he returned the money, I immediately frowned at what he did.

“I still have savings, keep it. That's yours. Just give it to me next time.”

My lips parted.

“Are you sure?” I assure him. He nodded before kissing my cheek and leaving the house.

“Bye!”

“Bye! Be careful.” I shouted with a smile. When he left, I cleaned the whole house, before I go to the market.

I went straight to the back of our house to wash the glasses and plates we used last night, I didn't want Niel to watsh it because he have an assignment to do.

When the washing was done and everything to clean, I quickly got ready because I was going to the market, I took a shower and locked the house. Niel has a spare key so he can still get inside when he gets home from school.

“Good afternoon, Nadia.” Jala happily greeted me. I just walked from home to here because I was saving money.

I smiled and waved before putting on an apron because we were going to get thrown by something, like fish scales.

“So many buyers.” I said and helped.

“Yes, It's good that you came. Those two must be late again.” Jala pointed out Vanessa and Janice.

I just laughed before turning my attention to work.

“How much does it weigh?” An old man asked, pointing at the fish.

“100 kilo, sir.” I said respectfully, he thought before buying, he bought a one kilo. I removed the scales because that's what he told me to do, then I wrapped it in a plastic and gave it to him.

“Thank you very much.” I smiled, the old man just nodded after paying and left. This store is not ours, the owner will come later. She is the one who pays us.

Vanessa and Janice also came and helped us, because they have children so they are always late. When it was time for our break we gathered at the side and talked, we ate food.

“Don't you want a job, Nadia?” Vanessa asked me, I stopped taking a bite of rice and turned to her.

“Sure, do you know of anything I can get into?” I asked immediately. Jala also asked the same question. It seems that he also has plans to work.

Vanessa nodded.

“Yes, there is. Because my mom said she worked for Mr. Tadio, the owner of the famous shoes.” She said. “That's really big time, now they need 20 people to work in his house, maids in other words.”

“How much is the salary?” Jala asked, I nodded because I wanted to know too.

“30 thousand a month, just stay in but the food is free.”

Jala and I looked at each other.

30 thousand? That's big! Even if I'm tired from work, I won't earn that much money. Even if I go around our whole town, I can't find anything worth that much.

But.

“But stay in? When are you going home?” I asked.

“Mom said twice a month.” She answered. So I will only see Niel twice a month if I work?

“What Nadia? Shall we push it?” Jala asked.

“I'll talk to Niel first.” I said. Can I not see him? I get home sick very quickly, but if I think that it's for him that I need go to work, I have to grab that job. I'm good at housework so I'm sure I'll be accepted.

When I got home while we were eating, I told him about work, and the other information.

“Do you want to accept that? It's manila, I know you want to go there.” He said.

“That's not my only reason, of course I want the salary. It's also for your studies. Can you live here alone?”

He thought and then look at me.

“I can do it, I know how to clean, do laundry, and cook.So I can probably live alone.” I smiled sadly at him. I don't want to leave him but I have to.

The next day we will leave immediately for manila, it is true what Niel said that I have wanted to come to manila since I was a child. But I want to be there with him, I have one bag to carry and two bags to hold. Everything I need to live in manila is there.

“Let's just chat, huh? You always chat me.” I said and he nods.

I have a cell phone, it's small because it's cheap. I bought it on my birthday, it was my birthday gift to myself, I shouldn't have bought it because I didn't need it. But Niel forced me to buy.

“Bye sister! Be careful.” I hugged Niel again. I suddenly wanted to cry.

“Nadia, be careful there, okay? Let Janice and I know if something happen.” Vanessa said to me, I nodded and hugged them both. I also thanked Vanessa for telling us about the job.

After that I entered the taxi.

I waved again to Vanessa, Janice and Niel even though I was already inside the taxi, I started crying but I held it back. I have to work for me, for Niel and for his future.

There is only one question in my mind, what would I face in manila?