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Chapter 1
I am Mrs. Jade Naive Guaren—Sevara, well I had a perfect married life back then, I don't know where or when it started but this is really what happened.
We're high school lovers, well it's funny to think that we're on and off but we still fail at church.
After a years I got pregnant, maybe we were married for three years before I got pregnant, he's the happiest man I know when I told him I was pregnant.
We are here in the garden today while watching the flowers planted by his parents, it feels good.
He hugged me from behind while his head is resting in my arms, I pinched his hand that's why he slightly opened his eyes.
"Why?" He asked before sitting me down on the swing and swinging me there.
I am 4 months pregnant.
"Love, what gender do you want our baby to be?" I curiously asked, he just continued cradling me while thinking of what to answer.
"Hmm, if you ask me. I want a man." I smiled at him after he said his answer, same as mine.
"Well, what will you name it?" I asked again, nowadays I often ask him questions like this, maybe it's just because of the excitement.
"Luke, but if you don't want it, we can change it." He sat next to me since the swing I was sitting on was big, he held my tummy to feel our baby.
"What if she's a girl? Are you still going to be happy?" I rested my head on his chest, he brushed my hair and nodded as an answer.
"Of course I will, besides you are the most important to me, whether we have a baby or not, we can still be happy, you'll always be my baby, Jade." I smiled after he said that.
But it was all a lie.
Month's had passed I am 6 months pregnant when this girl came into my life, she befriended me and after one month, she admitted to me that she likes my husband, she pushed me down the stairs of our house causing my child to miscarry .
Along with the loss of my son, I also lost my husband.
And you know what is the worst part? That girl who pushed me is his mistress.
I was walking in the heat while wiping my tears, I didn't know where I was going, my husband didn't even follow me.
"Taxi!" Even though I'm dizzy because of the extreme heat, I have nowhere else to go now but my parents' house, that's where I'll be returning after 4 years.
Well, after my son's fall, we were still pretty good, there were misunderstandings because we regretted what happened, he always blamed me for the loss of our son.
Little by little I remembered the first fight we had.
"It's late, where are you from?" I met him, he ignored me, in fact he just passed me like the wind.
"Azriel I am talking to you, what are you doing to yourself? Just get drunk at night—." I asked worried, he put his hand on my mouth to shut me up.
I tried to remove his hand before facing him.
"Azriel, rest your liver."
"I'm tired, Jade. Please lecture me tomorrow, just like you said, it's late, why aren't you asleep yet?"
"Maybe I'm worried, it's 2am in the morning and you're going home wasted, can't you just moved on from what happe—" I stopped after he hit the table, I admit. I felt fear.
"Can you just stop bringing up the topic? You don't want to accept that it was because of your negligence that we lost our son, because you weren't careful! It's your fault Jade," A strong slap made him stop, he also slightly tilted his head is because of his strength.
"Yes! It's my fault, Azi, but please! Don't talk to me like you're the only one who's lost! Azriel is my son too! It hurts me too, but I can't do anything but move on!" I shouted at him, I bit my lower lip to stop the tears from falling in my eyes.
"So tell me? How can I move on Jade? Tsngina! That's our daughter, why do you seem so quick to just throw it away and tell me to move on." He shouted back that's why I slightly closed my eyes.
"Azi, if I don't move on, what will happen to us? If we fall together, how can we get up again? It hurts me too, but I'm trying to forget it to help you get out! Because if I don't help you, maybe our relationship will end, right? finally get up!" I let my tears fall because I knew something was wrong, we had a problem, that we weren't okay.
I was silently crying inside the taxi while thinking how did we do this?
If we didn't lose our son, would everything end up like this?
I turned to the driver when he took a sip, he smiled at me before handing me the tissue.
"I'm sorry man." I apologized while wiping my tears.
"That's okay, go live now, crying is not good, it's ugly." He whispered so I laughed weakly, I nodded before forcing myself to stop crying.
What can my husband do now? Is he happy that I signed the divorce papers that he had to sign a long time ago? I just shook my head because of my thoughts.
I shouldn't stress myself, I'm not alone now, if only I had told him that I was pregnant, maybe there would be hope that we would be okay.
The car stopped in front of our house, I immediately reached for the payment before going inside.
I looked around the whole house, it was my unstoppable tears.
I sat on the sofa as I remembered the fun things we had done here, I smiled bitterly before standing up and going upstairs to the bedroom.
I leaned my head on the door frame as I watched Azriel and I's room, this is probably the one I will miss the most.
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