Losting my feelings

Natasha Abuelo Pov.

I silently watched the closing of the bakery on the side of the road, just a few weeks after my mother kicked me out of the house, my job was going to close.

My boss said that someone has already bought the place here, that is a large amount so that they can move there to Rizal. But I can't be there anymore, it's too far away and I can't look at my father.

"I'm sorry and this is all I can give, how about it. Helda took all of your salary from me.." I nodded to my female boss, she is kind. He's the type who will really help you as much as he can.

"Thank you.." he smiled at me, that was the last smile I saw before they completely left the place where I had my first job.

I sighed, It was only ten o'clock in the morning and it was already very hot. Add to that the unpleasant smell in the surroundings that I passed.

I tried to walk and thought of looking for something to go to again, On the other side there was the newly opened supermarket. I walked there and immediately went to the cashier.

"Did you catch it?" The woman with thin eyebrows looked up, she stroked my body before stopping again with her eyes.

"Your resume?"

"W-I don't have a resume.."

"Are you a high school graduate?" I was stunned, I couldn't answer right away because I didn't finish high school. I want to graduate as much as my brothers, so I study with them.

I shook my head. "N-no.."

"Then you can't come here, and then I guess you're not of the right age yet.." I looked down, I'm only fifteen and tomorrow I'll be sixteen, but here I am looking for a job instead of studying .

I should have graduated by now, but when I was fourteen I stopped studying because my father was unable to work due to an accident.

I let out a violent breath on my way out, took the hot road again and resumed my job search.

But in my few hours of searching it seems that my day was unlucky, I was not hired because like my first attempt they were looking for my resume.

"Please buy it.." I was at the side of the market where I bought ice buko, the man smiled at me before giving me five pesos buko.

"Did the bakery close?" I nodded while drinking, he often buys there every morning. We have made him a customer at pandesal, but it's just sad that I won't be able to enter the bakery again.

"Are you looking for a job?" I put down the empty glass.

"Yes, I wish.."

"I know something, just in case. The pay is low.."

"Really, where?"

"Over there at the cellphone store, he's looking for a salesperson.." he easily got my interest, so I almost agreed and let him help me that day.

We went to a cell phone store, it was small but my new boss said that the food is free but the salary is only one thousand per week, it depends on the sales every day.

"How old are you?" My boss asked a girl, that same day I started because they needed a babysitter.

"Fifteen.."

"You're still young, aren't you studying?"

I shook my head. "No, I need to work."

He sighed, I noticed his soft gaze on me causing me to look away.

"My son is almost the same age as you, he will graduate from high school in Fatima.."

I didn't say anything anymore, I knew it was a good school but there was no chance for me to get into it. Besides, I'm more focused on work now and how to earn money just so I can give something to my mother.

Especially with dad's diabetes medications.

"This is your only salary.." you can hear the displeasure in the mother's voice, I nodded. It's been a week since I got a job, and even though the shop's income was low, my boss still gave me a thousand.

"The salary is low there because the food and snacks are free.."

"It's good that you're having a snack, while we're not here!" I held my breath, I wanted to scold him for gambling. Instead of buying a snack, why didn't he just gamble?

But I can't answer him, I don't want to be kicked out again just because of that. And then I have respect for him even though he treats me like this.

"Change your job, go to Dahlia's!"

"Yes!" My eyes rolled. "I don't want to!"

"What don't you want?" mom's voice is high. "Look abby, your daughter of Juliana, the salary is high and she has already built a house!"

"But mother, I don't want to!"

"No, follow me because I know you will earn a lot, a thousand is not enough for medicine and expenses here at home!"

My heart was bad, my mother turned away from me while the tears gradually formed in her eyes.

From the curtain, the father removed it as he was leaving the room, I came closer so that it would not be difficult for him to roll the wheels of his wheelchair.

"Why are you still awake?" I pushed his wheel chair in our small living room, our barong baro house seems like it's going to fall down because it's been too long. Since my father lost his job, there was no chance to build this house.

"I'm sorry, son.." I sat on the wooden chair and smiled at my father.

"Where are you asking for forgiveness?"

"Because you scrubbed for me, I'm sorry because I can't help you.."

I smiled. "It's okay, don't think about that. This is really what the eldest does.."

Father sighed. "Your daughter is very kind, Natasha. Forgive your mother if she often scolds you.."

I looked down. "W-that's nothing.." I was still upset even though I said that, I was doing everything but for him it was nothing.

"I will never get tired of working, father. Just like what you used to do with this family, I will save money so that you can walk again.."

"Don't stop, son.."

"I will do that, father. So let's go to sleep so you can rest.."

I took my father to the room, the house is small and has three rooms. In one, the mother and father were together, in the other, my youngest siblings, Chloe and Brandon, were separated.

I helped father to lie down, I opened the fan and I put the mosquito net myself while mother was away.

I don't know where he went, but I have a bad feeling from our last conversation.

THE MORNING, there was a car horn in front of the house. The breakfast that I cooked before I went to work is ready.

The mother came out of their room, she peeked through the window and I was surprised to see a beautiful smile on her face.

"Come here. Come in!" he opened the door while I was watching from the side of the kitchen, a woman his age and three men with big bodies entered.

"Sit down, I'll make you something to drink."

"Don't worry, we're just passing by here to get what you're talking about.."

Mother's guests were no longer seated, she turned to me. He walked smiling at me before taking me on his arm to his guests.

"Here he is, already dressed.."

I turned to my mother, my eyes widened as she pressed her hand on my shoulder.

"This is a good child of mine, dahlia. Your head won't hurt.."

"Okay, I gave you the money last night so we'll take him with us.."

"B-but!" I appealed, but the mother didn't listen, instead she herself pulled me out to where they were riding.

"Stop being so mean, Natasha! You will not be taken there!"

"Mother, I don't want to say!"

"They are already paid, and whether you like it or not, you will come and work there!" mother turned me away, even when I wanted to leave, the men immediately came to me and put me in the black car

I couldn't do anything but cry silently

I feel sorry for myself while bowing, are they just like that with me because I'm not their real child?

Yes, and I am father's daughter with another woman, but I also accepted mother when she and father were together. I just couldn't imagine that my fate would be like this at his hands.

"Hasn't that gotten dressed yet!" from the door I heard the voice of the ruler here, I did not turn to him, nor did I look.

"He doesn't want to get dressed, ma'ma.." the girl next to me answered, I noticed that the girls here were almost the same age as me.

The young, but in the club that enters.

"Why, that hero is useless! He even said that he would break because he said this is a good son of his!"

"Are we going to bring that boy back!" A man's voice protested, but I remained averted. Don't want to follow what they are doing.

"Yes, take the money from helda, if she can't give anything then bring one of her daughters!"

I quickly looked up, I stood up and immediately approached Mrs. Dahlia.

"Don't, don't my brother.." he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Then why don't you go to work and let me benefit from you!" My lips trembled from the uncontrollable crying I was doing. I bit into it before nodding.

"S-go ahead.."

"You'll earn a lot and we'll split the percentage, you won't dance, you'll just accompany the customers to their table!"

I swallowed hard, the shiver in my chest continuing to live.

And in the end, I did nothing but dress in the clothes that Abby gave me.

My neighbor and classmate in grade five.

"You think we're going to be here together?" I didn't say anything to him, I was silent while watching him tie my hair. "The wages are high here, Natasha. Magnificent! Not only that, because there are also many handsome ones!" my eyes rolled.

"Even if the man looks like a monster, he is handsome for you, as long as he has money.."

"Of course, you know. Nowadays, money is the most important thing in people's lives, and that money is what I worship.."

"That's why you look like money, you should be called benchingko.."

"He's terrible.."

I stood up, I was not in the mood because I was doing this against my personality. I don't like it but I have no choice. I don't know how much the mother took because Mrs. Helda didn't mention anything to me.

"You are there with the young man sitting at the end, he is with someone.."

I nodded, the noise was due to the music playing around. Add to that the fiddling of the light causing my eyes to hurt.

"Come with me.." Abby helped me walk to the costumer I was going to, and when I saw who it was, I almost froze in my tracks.

He is the man I saw when it was raining.

He also gave me a jacket that I still have today.

Who is he, Nico? Noah?

Noah.

"Natasha!" before the young man turned to me and Mrs. Dahlia called me again, he approached me when I faced him.

"Yes?"

"You're in the VIP room, don't come here.."

He grabbed my hand, pulling me out of there. And before we completely walked away, I looked at the young man.

And then our eyes met again and even he was surprised.