I'M NOT A LADY OF THE NIGHT

Part: 1

***

No matter how far I walk, I still feel empty every second.

The world sneered at me as an illegitimate child. Until one evening, my mother died after hearing the curses of her siblings.

"Your illness is a punishment," said my aunt.

"As long as the illegitimate child is in this house, so long will our lives be unlucky," my uncle continued.

Mum was breathing harder and harder. The old face that already looked so frail instantly became tense. Her body shook violently and convulsed.

"Mum," I whispered, leaning closer to hug her.

It didn't take long for Mum's eyes to close as she took her last painful breath.

"Mum!" I shouted hysterically.

Uncle and Aunty were not sad at all. Both of them hated my mum. Not without reason.

.

As time passed, the funeral of Mum's body was over.

I was pensive on the terrace of my aunt's house. Since I was a child, I've been here.

My mum didn't have a home of her own. None of her family wanted to take her in, except Aunty Ratna.

Even though Aunty berated Mum with harsh words every day, she was the only one who was willing to give her a place to stay.

-

-

A month after Ibu's departure. One of the labour distributors came to our village.

Mr Handoko was his name. He offered Aunty Ratna a job in the city.

"How is it? I'll give you an advance payment of three months' wages. Do you agree?" asked Mr Handoko.

I, sitting next to Aunty, heard the whole conversation.

Mr Handoko wanted me to work at his cafe.

Aunty Ratna and Uncle Toni's eyes lit up at the offer of so much money.

"I agree, sir. My nephew can do a good job. Take him to the city!" said Bik Ratna enthusiastically.

"I'm scared, Aunty. Please let me stay here. I'll work harder in the fields, Aunty. I don't want to go to the city," I said.

"Honey, you have to go to the city. There is no future for you here, son." Aunty said gently, but behind it one hand pinched my back.

It hurt.

The piece of paper containing the cooperation contract was signed by Aunty and Uncle. Both of them agreed without knowing what was on the paper. Bibik and Uncle couldn't read. The signatures were just perfunctory.

-

-

I arrived in the city by car that day.

My two shabby bags accompanied my trembling steps.

Mr Handoko took me to a place.

It wasn't like the cafe he had described to Uncle and Bibik. This place was noisy and crowded.

Lots of drink bottles, and colourful lights. I'm dizzy from the lights that go off and on over and over again.

"Mi, I brought a young girl who is still very innocent," Mr Handoko said, leading me to a middle-aged woman who had dressed up.

"Very dishevelled. Where did you find her?" she asked.

"In the village, Mi. She just needs a little grooming, and she'll shine."

"You're right. If you look at this girl's beauty, it's amazing. Reminds me of a prima donna in the village in the old days."

Mr Handoko and the woman laughed. After that, I was left alone with the woman whose name I did not know.

"Just call me Mami Mery! Come with me! In the blink of an eye, I'll turn you into a beauty," she said.

I followed her hesitantly.

We arrived at a room that was quite large and luxurious. There were 5 women in it. They were all wearing sexy clothes and dressed up very pretty.

"New kid, Mi?" asked one of them.

"Yes, quickly dress her up as pretty as possible!" ordered Mami Mery, then she went out.

I sat on the cushioned chair facing the glass.

"Excuse me, what exactly is my job here? Washing dishes, or just delivering food and drinks?" I asked curiously.

Everyone in the room laughed at my question.

"Your job here is to serve wholeheartedly. You have to do everything," said the woman who did my hair.

I didn't understand, but I started to feel scared. This place didn't seem safe.

.

An hour later. I spun round in front of a large mirror. My appearance had changed completely. My long hair became shoulder-length. My face shone with a little polish.

"You're perfect," praised Mummy Mery.

"Wh-what should I do after this?" I asked timidly.

"Sit quietly, dear. You are special, and will be the highest price tonight," Mummy Mery said.

"Ma-meaning Mummy? I don't understand."

Actually, I was already feeling very uncomfortable in the sleeveless dress I was wearing. I never wear clothes that are too revealing.

"So Handoko didn't tell you?" asked Mami Mery while looking at me sharply.

"He said I'd be working in a café delivering food and drinks to customers," I replied casually.

Mami Mery and the others laughed again.

"Listen, Luka. You're here to work as a comfort woman."

My heartbeat seemed to stop when I heard Mami Mery's confession.

Comfort women ....

I often heard that term in the village. Neighbours and even family referred to my mother as a former comfort woman. No one knew who my father was.

My life was like hell, everyone berated me for my mother's past sins.

.

In a special room, I was placed. Inside was a man waiting for me.

I had no energy to rebel. From the very beginning after learning of this dirty work, I tried to escape and defy Mami Mery's orders. However, what power. I was exhausted and could do nothing.

Mami Mery's men were numerous. Two slaps had already landed on my right cheek and left cheek.

I resigned myself to the tears that were starting to run down my cheeks.

"What's your name?" asked the person who had paid me a very large sum to Mami Mery.

"My name is Luka."

The man moved closer to me, who was facing away from him.

"A rare name," he said.

I gasped.

"Show me your face! That greedy woman said you were very beautiful."

I was silent as I wiped away the tears that were still flowing down my face without daring to make a sound.

"Are you deaf?" he snapped as he turned my body to face him.

I sobbed. My face must have been a mess.

I didn't even dare to lift my head. I was bowed down in this endless agony.

Slowly, one forefinger of the man's hand lifted my chin. His sharp eyes combined with my eyes that deliberately strengthened my guts to look.

The man I interpreted was about 30 years old. A very handsome man. I couldn't believe that the one who dared to pay me so much was a young man who was so well-groomed and authoritative.

Who would have thought that he was a man who enjoyed the lust of helpless women.

"Why are you crying?" he asked flatly.

I shifted my gaze back down. "What else can I do but cry?"

He laughed.

"Did I pay you just to see you cry?"

"I don't know."

I was getting more and more naive in front of him.

"I think you should change your name!"

"It's my mum's given name."

"Your mum must be mentally ill," he sneered.

I cried even more bitterly.

"I'll ask that old woman to change your name immediately. If you continue to use Luka's name, then you will only be able to cry all your life," he explained.

I started to wipe away the tears. All this time, this man had only been talking without doing anything.

I was already scared to death.

"I'm willing to cry for a lifetime to be grateful if I can be free from this place. Do me a favour, sir. You can ask me to work in your house forever without pay as long as I can get out of this place. I'm afraid to be here." I pleaded with quick movements reaching for his legs.

The man flinched for a few seconds.

"Help me, sir."

He slowly lifted my shoulders. "I've paid a great price for you."

"Let me compensate you with my lifelong devotion. I'll do anything, except not this dirty work, sir."

Silence.

The man was silent in the corner of the bed. His face was so flat. I trembled even more as my fear deepened.

Continued.