Forbidden Story

(August 1st, 1994:

Traveling on the 121 towards Auburn;)

Sitting in the passenger seat of the two-year-old Civic sedan, Lena kept her gaze fixed on the dull, rain-soaked scenery slipping past the window. She couldn't help but wonder what she'd be doing now, had things turned out differently; if she still had her family and her home...

It was a weekend evening, just after six, so Lena would probably be upstairs, watching her mother get ready. Eve would be asking Lena's advice on what to wear, and her dad would be in the bathroom, having a shower; then they'd go out to town, while she stayed at home with her big brother, Matt; they'd watch movies together on the couch and order takeaway food when they felt too lazy to cook. Sometimes Matt would let her share his beer, making her promise not to tell their parents.

But that had all changed now; her dad wasn't there anymore; he didn't come into her bedroom after he thought she'd gone to sleep and tell her how much he loved her; mom wouldn't be there to keep her in check, telling her to clean her room and do her homework, to be nice to Matt; Matt the thought of losing him had scared her most.

Afterward, she'd felt grimly surprised to find that she missed her older brother more than anything else. He used to make her so angry and upset at times with his teasing but then he wasn't there, and she would have given anything to have him call her 'Brat' or 'Kiddo' once more; to see him start university in a few weeks or to have him tease her about being too scrawny.

"Why me?" she thought savagely. "Why did I have to survive and they all die? It shouldn't have been this way!"

The events of that night had repeated in her mind, like some tormenting slow-motion picture, replaying over and over again. She knew, no matter how much she dwelt upon it, the past couldn't be changed.

The artic' had come from nowhere; he shouldn't have even been on that road, she'd heard the policeman say; he said the guy had got lost and had to detour. He should have been traveling south away from them, on a road nearly fifteen miles away, but there he was, just split seconds away from them as Lena looked up...

Her dad was driving, her mom flicking through the radio channels while Matt and Lena argued in the back. They were on a country road, stopping for gas, before heading out onto the 89 towards New Hampshire. They were going to see a concert; some friend of their dads played saxophone in a band and had invited them all along.

Lena raised an eyebrow at her brother, whose face was all moody and sullen, his green eyes sparkling with ill-temper.

"Shut it...brat." He said calmly, though there was a tone in his voice that suggested severe irritation. His girlfriend was often a sore subject, especially of late, but Lena wanted to tease him; he'd been ignoring her for days, only acknowledging her presence by calling her 'brat'; she was angry with him for treating her like this.

"You're just mad because you and Natalie had a fight," she said with a shrug as if his bad temper wasn't upsetting her at all. Inside though, she felt hurt and wanted to cry.

"Mom, will you tell her?! She doesn't know what she's talking about." Matt exclaimed suddenly, glaring at his sister. She just narrowed her eyes at him, then turned to stare nonchalantly out the window.

Eve Harris looked over her shoulder and shook her head in despair. "Oh Matthew..." she sighed, "you're twenty-one years old...don't be so childish. Besides, Lena's right...you do take it out on us whenever you're having a bad day." She said, in a tone that suggested kindness mixed with a sharp twist of dire warning.

Matt looked outraged for a moment, but his manners wouldn't allow him to answer his mother with spite and his intelligence knew better than to try it.