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I don’t know if he will show up…
He once promised he will… back to that day in the summer; he promised he will, he said he would come back to see her again. But when the time passed. Winter came and went, then spring that she loved, and summer came around all over again for the fourth time; she is uncertain of that promise.
We only spent two weeks together. Only two weeks Celine spent with him. Only two weeks changed her life. And now she is here. She is back to this small island in the Mediterranean Sea every year for two weeks… just like four years ago, just like those times fate led her to him.
He was a tall man who rarely smiled as if he carried the weight of the world.
That man… Martin
Celine didn’t know much about him, who he truly was, or what he did for a living. She doesn’t even know where in the world he is. But she thinks she knows him. She knows he was a serious and strict but kind person. She knows he rarely smiles, but once he does, she can barely breathe. He is six years older than she is but always treats her as his equal. She knows he loved niçoise salad and red wine from Chile. He liked to wake up at five every morning to run. He was an amazing cook. And he loved the sea, just like her. He loved the sea just like her.
Celine stands there at the edge of the cliff for a long while to watch the sunset. She comes back to Italy every year after her graduation from one of the leading universities in fashion here. One part is for her work. But she must admit that largely the trip is to fuel this unyielding hope of seeing him again.
The staff at her clothing company don’t know the true reason she has been missing from the management role for two weeks. And they don’t know why she imposed absolutely no contact allowed. Any why she never mentions where she goes. Perhaps Milan, perhaps Rome, she would answer dismissively when anyone dared to ask. This happens every year during her birthday. No one needs to know the significance of it. Not even her best friends. And they don’t need to because no one will understand.
She doesn’t tell anyone because people will question why she has to wait. Why does someone that the world praises as ‘having it all’ as Celine Pierce has to wait for some strange man who left without saying goodbye?
Although no one understands, she knows with her whole heart the real reason why.
During the short time we spent together, he stole her heart.
She fell in love. Foolishly. Infatuated. Deep in love. He listened to her confession and didn’t say anything; no rejection and no mutual confession of love.
But she still forgives him anyway. It must be trusted. She trusts him. And if she has some courage to say it again, she probably calls it love.
Celine walks slowly along the beach instead of going back. Her bare feet touch the sand, and the fine grains comfort her. She picks up a seashell and studies its shape for a short while. Sometimes, little things in life remind her of old memories.
One time, she stepped on a broken seashell and was bleeding. She was a clumsy kid that just wanted to enjoy running on the beach without a care in the world. But yes, apparently too clumsy and too careless. Martin helped treat her wound. Back then, she always needs his help in everything.
The young woman stops walking and sits on the sand. She listens to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.
She thought this year would be her last year visiting this place. She decides it is time for the wait to end. It's about time... It should be time for her to make up her mind and finally let him go.
Celine picks up a handful of sand and watches as many fine grains of sand flow through her fingers.
Her smile widened. To think about it, this is similar to that time, her graduation ceremony.
Martin liked to let her wait without saying anything. He was cruel like this... and when she gave up hope, he just showed up. She could only hope that it would be the same once again.
She hopes he will come back to her.
***
Four years ago. A university in Bologna, Italy.
Celine sat on the steps of an ancient building. She was weeping profusely without much care from passersby looking at her with curiosity and concern. Her latest handsome Italian boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend, suddenly broke up with her. And the reason was some dumb excuse. He said she had to go back to London after graduation anyway, and he was not the long-distance relationship type, so we better part ways now and don’t waste any more time.
He said he couldn’t live without her.
He said he loved her.
LIES!!!
Why did he have to lie?
She met him in her first term studying for her business degree in fashion here.
Fashion has always been her childhood passion. And the Master of Business Administration in fashion and luxury goods here is one of the best in the world. Actually, she didn’t choose to study here, her papa did, and being a good obedient daughter, she followed his advice. And of course, spending time in Italy is simply heaven, not to mention papa’s credit cards as gifts for her usual shopping spree. She thought she’d like it here. Just studying, following what papa told her, she loathed planning; too many details to think about, and life is too short, no? There was no need to care much about anything. Just enjoy life. There were so many pretty to buy. Oh, just thinking about it made her want to get all the five credit cards out and admire them individually. And all her favorite brands are here. What is there not to like?
So, the student life caught her off-guard. Who would think the study is this difficult? She thought private school prepared her well, but apparently not well enough. Celine was certain she was not some dim wit, but she must admit that math is not her thing. Two tutors got her through calculus, and after she knew she had passed the exam, everything about that subject was forgotten. She didn’t know studying fashion required this many math skills. Oh well, it is still a business school after all. Still, she didn’t think she had to study this hard. She was exhausted—there was almost no time to go out, not even shopping. All the time spent in the library and doing group projects made her rethink her future at the school and maybe lower her expectation quite a bit. Sigh, it was still too miserable. She hadn’t even gone out partying as much as she imagined.
Although she couldn’t speak Italian, she still had a lot of friends. The class had students from all over the world, and her friends arranged small parties here and there, but still, everything was boring. So dull!
Sometimes she wanted to scream—It’s blooding boring here!
But her thought changed once she met her first Italian boyfriend. She had never met anyone this tall, tanned, and handsome. His dark brown hair was always meticulously groomed. His eyes were sweet to look at, and those long eyelashes softened his strong gaze. He seemed dangerous… someone she could have some fun with. Intriguing. He intrigued her that she couldn’t look away.
Maybe it was her good luck that we were assigned to the same group project. We got to talk, we partied together a few times, and eventually, he asked her out.
And then she got dumped with a few cold-blooded dumb words after a few months. And so she now sat alone crying, not caring about anything else.
Enough is enough!
She knew she was not some weak, head-over-heels in love type of girl that cried for a guy for months on end. Enough is enough. She was sick and tired of feeling in a swamp. Damn him! He is an ex now; he doesn’t have the right to make me feel this way. She decided she would stop sulking and start to take care of herself again. Maybe begin with cleaning tear-mascara from her cheek and apply decent moisturizer. She decided to travel again, away from here. She will go shopping, and she will enjoy life!
Celine Pierce stood up, stretching to her full height, breathing in the fresh summer air, wiping away all the remaining tears, and getting rid of all her thoughts about that man.
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