Book of Etiquette, Volume 2

E AMERIC

ner. And it is to her credit that we mention that she can ho

e reason that it gave her keen pleasure and enjoyment to do so. At one of her dinners recently a famous world-touring lecturer was the guest of honor-and the h

he vegetables, and relishes and fruits. She did not wish to appear rude, but she could not wait until dinner wa

ightful for her. A week later, she sent out invitations to all her friends requesting their presence at another formal dinner

sts. They must be pleased at all costs. The dinner is not a success unless each guest leaves a little happier

THE FOR

ly between seven and eight o'clock. Invitations should be mailed a week or ten days before the date set for the dinner. The hostess may use her own judgment in deci

ite. A married couple must always be invited together. If there are other members of the family who are desired as guests at the dinner

. A good rule is to decide immediately upon receiving it whether or not you will be able to attend, and follow it with a cord

ogether. The number may even be as low as four, and while there can be no absolute limit to the number one may invite, there must never be more than

ING TH

nner table correctly

he table. Over this comes the snowy, linen table-cover, falling gracefully over the sides with the four points almost touching the floor. A place is laid for each guest. The most fashionable method is to have a large lace or embroidered doily in the center of the table, and smaller ones indicating the

G AT TH

esticks, either of silver or bronze, are artistic when placed at equal distance around the flowers. They diffuse a soft light upon

iniscences. Between these stately guardians of the floral centerpiece may

aced at the right. They are placed in the order in which they are to be used. Not more than three forks should ever appear on the table at one time. If others are needed they shou

specially true of the table of good taste. It must not be littered with useless articles, no matter how artistic or odd, for they hamper the movements of the guests

PORTANT

menus printed or engraved in a delicate script and has one placed beside the plate of each guest. A favorite fashion is to have them printed in French. Sometime one of thes

high above the table, or small candle-power electric lights on the walls. These latter produce a soft effect which is mo

stess should give as much time and thought to the preparation and arrangement of the table, as she does to the planning of the menu. She will find that her guests will appreciate nov

ETIQ

, and it is certainly a sign of ill-breeding deliberately to fail to act in accordance with the rules of table etiquette. The rules of d

or absent-mindedly clinking glasses together. This may be overlooked in the restaurant, but at a formal dinner it is essentially bad form. When the hands are not being used, the

E SE

ewhat crowded, when it may be folded diagonally (after having been folded square) so as to give more space

ame kind. Oysters on the half-shell are served bedded in crushed ice in a soup plate. This is placed on the service plate. A cocktail is served in a cocktail glass which is placed

ce plates and when this course is over service plates as well as soup plates are removed and the entrée is served. If the plates for it are empty they are placed with the right hand but if the entrée is already on t

the waiter has served each person he serves the vegetables. If there is only one waiter it is more convenient to have the vegetables placed on the table in large vegetable dish

it may be served from a platter. After the salad the table is cleared of all plates that have be

e frozen is served in individual dishes. Small cakes are passed with

s half filled with water and placed on a small

table but it is more often

F THE

e impressively well-bred! The proper way to use a napkin, whether it is at a formal dinner, or in a restaurant, is to unfold it only half, leaving the center fol

ld be an assumption on the part of the guest that the hostess would use it again before laundering. A reprehensible habit is to drop

AT THE D

ages, however, the spoon is used only to stir them once or twice and to taste them to see that they are of the desired temperature. It is never allowed to stand in the cup while the beverage is being drunk. Nor is it permissible to draw up a spoonful of sou

RK AND

first rule to be remembered is that a knife is never used for any other purpose than cutting food. It is unforgiveable to use a knife to convey food to the mouth-unforgiveable and vul

ould never be allowed to rest against the edge of the plate with the handles on the table; when one is through with both the knife and fork, they should

and melons. Hearts of lettuce and lettuce leaves are folded up with the fork and conveyed uncut to the mouth. If th

ER F

at the formal dinner, but if it is, each little piece of bread is buttered individually just before it is eaten. Crackers and cake are eaten in the same way; although some cakes anway id pastries are eat

ly permissible to use the fingers in eating corn, holding it lightly at each end; sometimes a napkin is used in holding it. Many a foresighted hostess, when serving corn

Merrill. Courtesy of

SET FO

f the table should never be so

ak them apart, leaf by leaf, dip the tips in the sauce and lift them

oranges, apples, grapes, peaches and plums are all eaten with the fingers. Celery, radishes and olives are similarly eaten. Sometimes there are other relishes on the d

a plate. A fragrant leaf may be added to the water. The fingers are dipped lightly into the bowl, one hand at a time, and then dried on the napkin. It is a mark of

ACCI

anywhere else. The duty of the guest and the hostess bo

ass or cup is dropped and broken, embarrassed apologies will not put it together again, but a word of sincere regret to the hostess will relieve the awkwardness of the moment, and will be as gratifying to h

in making matters worse by fussing about it and offering several exaggerated apologies. A simple word or two to the hostess will suffice; but it is really quite

elessness. It is not the accident itself that will cause the guests and the hostess to consider one ill-bred, but continued mention of it

HO

nu and supervise the laying of the table. She must afford pleasant diversion and entertainment for her guests from the minute they enter her home until they are ready to leave. The i

E GUEST

s after the time mentioned in the invitations. Then, even if there is still a guest or two missing, it is customary for dinner to be served. On

the dinner is in honor of a married couple, the host goes in to dinner with the wife of the honored guest; the hostess ending the "procession" with that lady's husband. When there are no guests of honor the host takes the eldest lady present. Usually a lady visiting the hou

arty is small, though, in this case it is quite possible for the hostess to indicate gracefully the place where she wishes each guest to sit. The guests who enter

nd conducts her to her place without mentioning her lateness. If it is a man, she merely bows and smiles without rising and immediately starts a lively dis

CESSFUL

e conversation and help things along by herself relating amusing little anecdotes or experiences.

s always please dinner guests, and when held after dinner are usually appreciated. In selecting musical numbers the hostess should bear in mind the personal likes and dislikes o

ad an enjoyable time; that the entire dinner had been a success. And she may claim the success of the evening as her own, for it is upon the

GU

eeming revelry and celebration, the strictest rules are observed. The calls are made according to the callers' rank. One pays visits to those superior, receivin

im, by the laws of etiquette. For the guest at the formal dinner must accord every respect and honor to his host and hostess-not in the servi

NTS O

mal dinner given by a prominent New York woman who had gained a reputation for the savory qualities of the soups she served. On this occasion she was especially proud of her Grun Yung Waa (Bird's-Nest Soup)-and really, from all reports, it must have been remarkably delicious. But the guest we are writi

D HEL

r, the host or hostess may offer to provide a second helping to any one of the guests who has disposed of his first helping. In this ca

efused a second helping, is overdoing the bounds of hospi

E

to ignore the fact that the salad is not crisp enough or that the entrée is too highly seasoned. The entire time spent at table should be no

so many courses that he or she cannot manage without haste, noise, or confusion. The order of service depends upon the number of courses. The cook book will help here, also. Generally speaking

l not be served last every time. The butler serves dishes from the left and removes them from the right. No plates for any course are remove

lasses filled with water and to see that n

e of the lady who is the partner of her husband for the evening, nod and smile to her, and they both rise together, followed immediately by the other women guests. They adjourn to the drawing-room, where coffee is served and light conversation ensues until the men join them. The latter, in the meanwhile, remain in the dining-room to smoke their cigars an

ENTERT

er of fact, not very much entertainment is really required, for if the guests are congenial, they will no doubt enjoy conversation among themselves. It is, of course, not

TO

ner that begins at eight o'clock is to order one's car to appear at the door at ten-thirty. In most cases, however, when the guests are brilliant and pleasant,

while the dinner is still serving-though it may be the last stages. The courteous way is to wait until all the guests have adjourned to the drawing-room, remain fifteen or twenty minutes conversing with one's partner or other guests,

NG L

and the gentleman will seek out the host and hostess, thank them cordially for their hospitality, and take thei

must thank you for a per

ill no doubt answer so

have you, I'm sur

which to extend one's than

on, Mrs. Carr. Thank you s

oberts. I hope to s

ight. In fact, it is a flagrant breach to leave without having thanked one's pa

o expressing her pleasure at their presence. It is not civil or courteous on the part of either host or h

NG A S

The friend thus invited should not feel that he or she is playing "second-fiddle" and the fact that she was not invited at first should not tempt her to refuse the invitation which would be

ace of the one who cannot appear. The answer should be brief but sincere; there must be no hint in it that the recipient is not altogether pleased with the invitation and with the ide

but it is certainly a better plan than to leave the guest out entirely, and have one more lady than gentleman, or vice versa. If the

LE D

te dinner, perfectly achieved. The hostess who has attained the art of givin

r etiquette; if the welcome is cordial and the company congenial-the simple dinner may rank with the most extravagant and elaborate formal dinner. The cover may contain fewer

CONGENI

one. As there are usually only four or six guests, they will undoubtedly become well acquainted by the ti

memory of conversation with them will linger and be constantly associated with the hostess and her home. Many a hostess would be happier

RE ARE N

t the one who tries to outdo her neighbor-who attempts, even though it is beyond her means, to give elaborate dinners that vie favorably with

man who did not have any servants. There were six guests who all had mutual inter

Each guest found, upon taking his place for dinner, a tall fruit glass at his cover, containing crushed grapefruit and cherries. When this first course was finished, the hostess placed the glasses on a servin

to forget that maids or butlers were necessary at all. The quiet, calm poise o

y and naturally, and in the enjoyment of one another's company, the guests were as

l to move it once it is in place. In the drawer should be found one or two extra napkins and extra silver for each course in case of accident or emergency. The coffee service may be placed on top of the table with the dishe

iends to dinner-and discomfort. But if you are the jolly, calm, happy sort of a hostess, who can attend to duties quickly and yet without confusion, if

L DI

val a successful dinner at home but often they are much easier to arrange and even the most conservative of hostesses may entertain dinner guests at a ho

sts may wait for each other. But if the hotel is a big one and

om. Nothing should ever be done to draw attention to the group of pe

FOR

ket. For a formal affair formal décolleté dress with the hair arranged somewhat more elaborately than usual is required. Jewels may be worn. G

shall wear but it is in bad taste to attire oneself conspicuously. A woman dining alo

he family should "dress for dinner" even though this may not mean donning regulation evening dress. Formal or in