Confessions of a Young Lady

schoolmistresses, and those sort of persons, must have of it. To this hour I am a creature of impulse. But then--! I did a thing; started to regr

fleeting association with

y, very dark brown, hair. Some people have told me that then it was black. But I doubt it. For there are those who tell me that it is black now, which I have the very be

for two months at a time. It put in its first appearance, so far as I was concerned, during my second term at Miss Pritchard's school. We girls were not supposed to know anything about it. But well do I remember the awe with which I used to gaze at the exceedingly dingy canvas structure as we passed it in our walks. And once when Nelly Hay

that I borrowed it without going through the form of asking leave. I know that I took it to a corner of the orchard of which we had the freedom when there was no fruit upon the trees, and that I devoured that article. It was all about precocious children. Recording how Mozart had composed masses--whatever they were!--at the age of two, or less, and how some little girl had won fame as a dancer at the age of three, or perhaps a trifle more. But in particular it told of the Infant Roscius. The story of that Wonderful Boy--he was throughout alluded to as The Wo

d upon one point--that I would be an Infant Phenomenon. There should be a Wonderful Girl as well as a Wonderful Boy. It seemed clear to me that girls, of the proper

hile I had an inward conviction that that would not be the case with me. Under these circumstances I did not quite see, at the moment, how I was to play the principal part at Coven

e case, for I have gone to sleep intending to marry a missionary and woke up bent on being a queen of

I was a tremendous correspondent--and some of the governesses were talking together close to where I sat. They paid no attention to the pair of large ears attached to the small person close at hand. The theme of their conversation was Bradford's Royal Theatre, and they were expressing their fears that things had lately gone very badly with the company thereof. Two remarks stick in my memory:--that on one occasion there had only been one and ninepence

illumination to which I was singularly liable that here was the very opening

ed; on the other, I would take the world by storm. At Bradford's Royal Theatre, in the guise of a benevo

t from its peg, crossing the playground, paying no attention to the girls who spoke to me, t

ce a week; and as that was paid on Saturday, and I still had twopence left, it is probable that I adventured in the regions of infant phenomena upon a Monday. My way lay past a solitary shop. I got hungry as I walked--in those days I did get hungry--the presence of that shop brought the fact vividly home to me. I paused to see what might be bought. My instinct pointed to sweets. Just as I was about to follow my instinct I perceived, on a dish in the corner of the windo

es with the first-fruits of my great gift

at emporium of commerce, my steps were not marked by that enthusiasm which had originally sent me speeding like an arrow from a bow. Probably the whole distance

Roscius commencing his career in that. The tent itself did look so shabby; the living waggons, which stood disconsolately together in the mud, were so much in want of painting; about the whole there was such an atmosphere of meanness, such a wealth of mire, that my heart began to sink. A small girl ran from the tent to a waggon, and from the waggon back to the ten

fate. Was I attempting to quiet my conscience by pretending that it would be enough to present them with two pennyworths of German sausage? What--my thoughts flying back to what the governess had said--was two pennyworths of Germ

me an enemy. That smelt as if all the bad air was kept in and all the good kept out. Then it was so small; to me it perhaps appeared smaller than it actually was, because I thought that Miss Pritchard's pupils would have filled it. And dirty, untidy, comfortless, beyond my powers of description. There was nothing on the ground to protect one's feet from the oozing damp. If the audience sat at all I could not think. I saw n

three women. I should have put them down as the seven I had heard alluded to, had there not also been a litter of children. It was only the children who

ere's a li

ddressed, looked up from some potatoes

irl, what is it

something I had anticipated, that, like the creature of moods I was, I seemed, all at once, to

to be the Inf

who was washing the potat

hat?" she

ed my as

to be the Inf

-ups roused themse

inquired a second woman, w

n the edge of the platform smokin

ets; that's what

seemed to be brigh

r sent you to b

my head

come t

--w

concluded. It seemed to me that it would be necessary to treat them as children--and dull of comprehension at that--to whom I, as a grown-up person, had to explain, in the cl

that I will give it all to you." I paused--to reflect. "At least I would give you a great deal of it. Of course, I should like to keep some, because a Wonderful Girl mayn't g

something of the kind would have to be put up with. When people were beside themselves with gratitude at seeing themselves snatched from the gaping jaws of feelings had to be allowed them. If, however, the persons to whom my explanation was actually addressed were beside themse

. The woman with the baby repeated her former question, as if

he talkin

ng from his perch upon the platform, came sauntering in my d

e crumpet,"

ird woman, whose girth precluded any notion of

r de

egan to put me thro

s your

ly B

d'ye

t Ma

ll the way from W

om Miss Pritc

to fill the man wit

de a wall. I went there to try to get them for Uncle Tom's Cabin. First the lady said there wasn't to be no flogging, then that she couldn't possibly bring he

he baby interpos

irs. It isn't likely that the front s

an proffere

nt seats th

man with the

's ba

ch made me think that though he was untidy, and I wished he would not wear such a very greasy cap, I might induce m

any of us here that does that sort of thing already. The difficulty is to get people to

many of m

in, is unf

rangers

We look to friends for our support. Strangers are someti

y plays as yet.

suppose, and that kind of thing. And what

haven't

being of no consequence. You were

ct old women. But I might try.

ht young Betty be? A friend of yours? Tha

ocked, although, having already taken their ignorance for gra

as a

Betty? What was his fathe

Henry West Betty. He w

s h

l Boy. I am going to

are a Wonderful Girl, what might hav

ery poor,

l a leading question. We're not

one and ninepence at

were out of my mouth I was aware that they had been heard with more attention than anythi

did we? Oh! Looks as if someone had been talking.

vide among seven? You could not live on that. No one c

. My remarks were followed by what even I felt was a significant silence. My interlocutor, bringing forward

drama as it knows about itself. And it certainly is true that, regarded as

I'd come an

help us? B

height of his fame when he was twelve. So I thought I would commence by making a lot of money for you here, which wo

bangs Banagher. B

pital actor, because not a muscle of his face moved. A man

ered herself of her

r de

o washer

, that you've a good

had his eyes upon wh

you happen t

which I have b

cular, or for al

or the

e seven who divided t

n sausage. I hope you

favouri

I imagined to be a still fur

t generally looked upon as such. It's a long, round, c

piece of newspaper, and was not of a size to suggest extensive contents. I became more and more conscious of its wretched smallness as, with every outward appearance of care and gravity, he

sev

, all at once, by the discovery of what a dreadful

u purchased two pennyworths o

rn a deal of money

tively felt that matters had reached a point at which a diversion of any sort was to be

come!--I've been

e information which had been extracted from me to rush off to the school to proclaim my whereabouts, receiving, as I afterwards learnt, a shilling for her

yes, what is the

ve told her for everything the world contained. My interl

erman sausage to save us from actual starvation, and has expressed her intention--I don't quite follow that part, but so far as I can make out she's proposing to make our fortunes

mon butt--or I felt as if I was. The children pointed their fingers at me and jeered. The grown-ups were all tal

ate, what an idiot I had been! What a simpleton! What a conceited, presumptuous, ignorant little wretch! How I had made of myself a mock and a show for the amusement of the company of Bradford's Royal Theatre! I felt as if the hideous fact was written on my face--on ev

id my blinding sobs I gave her as full and complete an explanation as she could possibly have desired. The bump of frankness was--and is--marked on my phrenological chart as developed to an even ridiculous ext

for a schoolmistress--though I do not know why I should say that, because I have not the least idea why schoolmistresses should not be as sensitive as anybody else, since they are human--for when I began to tell her of how I had expended my capital on the purchase of what that grey-headed man had called his "favourite joint," she drew me quite close to her, and in th

t I always thought so. It was weeks and weeks before I could bear the slightest allusion to anything "wonderful" without becoming conscious of an internal quiver. I fancy Miss Pritchard must have given instructions as to the direction our

heart grew lighter there and then. When, the walk being over, we returned, before anyone could stop me, or had an

one!" I

what had gone. She just put her arm about me, as she had done bef