Confessions of a Young Lady

fault. At least--; but if I tell you exactl

ime. In what I then called my judgment I was the wisest person the world had ever seen--perhaps it would be more correct to write that that was my estimate of myself

of stuff, prose and poetry; I had even written some poems myself. As I burned them years and years ago I do not mind owning it. I was convinced that there was nothing in the world worth living for except lov

I can say. Her name was Frazer--Mamie Frazer. Her autograph--suggestive of a fly slipping over the paper after a visit to the inkstand--stares at me out of my birthday book at this moment. She was the most speechless person I ever

ay something! Don't you know that I have been talking

on who was fond of conversatio

med out of her finger-tips. And the point was that she had such an excessively demure air that you never had the faintest notion that she was that kind of person till the truth was forced upon you. Even then you gave her the benefit of the doubt; or you tried to--at least I did--until it was ob

But I was ever a Una for innocence. She was always taking me in

did get into the toes; I used to bribe other girls to do my darning. It cost me frightfu

to-night. I kept talking to her all the time, and yet the whole wa

ldn't w

to me that she never would have done with it. What discussions we had about that looking-glass! We took it in turns to us

ldn't you

ive her a little rope. So I held my peace and found another hole. And prese

et

in human lives; I think I got them from Byron. Hetty had been scoffing. I suspected her of pa

ing at all about it; I saw that paper-covered Byron in your workbo

what do

Miss F

ted a sound which appeared to me

on't mean that you thi

ble to stick a pin between some of the freckles, but I doubt it. To me, then, she seemed ancient; but I suppose she was about forty. And, considering her general appearance and style of figure, she had a most unfortunate f

? No, I do

w that she'

. I will know nothing. But with you, wh

me what you mean, I--I--

made me all over pins and needles. Presently she gave utterance to an observation which was Sphinx-like in it

what do

nsieur

mensely stout, perfectly bald-headed, with cheeks and skin which looked as if they were covered with iron-mould, because he never shaved them. That anything feminine

hat Miss Frazer's in

f that she seems

uite see what that

oman's being

iving at. You can't be suggesting that M. Doumer has been literally trampling on Miss

ways of killing

esay you think it's clever

re ways of killin

ut I don't see what that h

thought you would have been able to see something for yourself." She seemed to me to be more mysterious than ever. "Perhaps," she added, as if by an afterthought, "if someone were to take him to task, and give him to understand that an Englishwoman is not a football

g alone and--and not good-looking--would have made anyone with a grai

just said that she is going mad bec

n her hand, at which she was pointing an accusatory finger. I do not know what time it was--she did not give us a chance to see--but I expect it was later than

had the looking-glass all the time, and I haven't done a single

to do with her have to put up with her. Don't blame her. Don't even

that the mere contemplation of Miss Frazer's doleful plight could have moved her to tears; but while I fumbled with my hair in my indig

ch I had left, I found Miss Frazer crouching over her desk, not only what I should call cry

ellowed on. A thought occurred to me. "H

I was mistaken. Taking her handkerchief from before her streaming eyes--her spectacles lay o

reated woman in

been making

wickedly

o whom you can go for

soul! I am helpless! It is because

re was still another forlorn woman who had fallen a helpless victim to what Lord Byron called the "divine fever." And so a Frenchman did think that

uld make any difference

that it should not make a difference! But who is the

choolroom without another word. To be entirely frank, I was more than half afraid. Unattractive enough in her normal condition, she was absolutely repulsive in her woe. Had I dared I would have advised her, strongly, never under any c

resent her--with an original article in bows which we irreverently described as the "Doumer twiddle"--with his card, in the corner of which was printed his address, so that the place of his habitation was known to all of us. It was close t

mer lived in lodgings and that this was the person who kept them. She was a small, thin, hungry, acidulated female, who struck me as being an old maid of the most pronounced

to see M

left, in the window of which app

Is it anything whic

have informed me that the man was out before taking me into the house. But I was in much too ex

he means by the way in which h

aordinary. She had rather nut-cracker jaws, and all at once her mouth went in su

nderstand,

r to explain. He has been trampling on Miss Frazer, an

er back to it, holding the handle in her hand. Now she turned right round, carefully shut it fast, and moved two

are

ly inquisitorial sort of way. I held u

Molly

r mind for something with which to associate th

hat you had. I don't suppose that M. Doumer

one of hi

l, and I have been in his French cla

t's-her-name? Is she

thinks that because she is an Englishwoman he ca

ootball? What do you mean?

And when I came away just now she was crying so that if some

She straightened herself up as if she were trying to add another three or four inch

or months. But I am not one to speak unle

Bluebeard!-

onvinced of it. He fascinates every woma

head and scrubbing-brush physiognomy, a "complete Don Juan" so filled me

ke my idea of Don Ju

time of life I suppose I may be allowed to know something of what I'm talking

he's s

ubjects with a mere child like you. I know what I know. But it is none the less my duty on that a

er's heart. I do not know why, but I had never imagined for a single moment that he could be anything but a bachelor. We girls at Mrs Sawyer's had always taken it for granted that he was. At least, the general impression on my mind was that we had. The horror of the situation deprived me of the use of the tiny scrap of sense w

afraid I

rds the door. She simply placed

must

l be late

s apartment until M. Doumer returns. Not that that will

gling, on a sudden, the entire situation had changed. It was far from being my wish to have an interview with him at that particular moment. Quite the contrary. I really do not know what I would not have given--certainly all the remainder of that term's pocke

one who wants

e been only too glad to have been able to disappear up the chimney on a broomstick, or on nothing at all, if I could only have go

s wife as Sarah, and she looked it--"this is one

tion made my cheeks flame. "You appear to have a number o

me. "Is that the young lady who joined the cla

le of myself on an unusually handsome scale. The tone in which he put his question was sincerity itself. It was impossible to sus

forgotten the name of the woma

art I hav

equent custom of yours to trample your victims under fo

I do not u

den foreboding that there was trouble in the air. Such a comical-looking distress

ree that it was feared that she might do herself an injury--all becaus

n front of him in the f

you talking? I wish th

you to do. She has sent this insigni

rned

has sent you? Miss Fraz

of the go

nesses?--which of

t you haven't broken the hearts of the entir

t these ladies in the p

st in

ke--I'm sure of it. I've been very silly. Madame Doumer,

see as far through a brick wall as most people, and I rather fancy that th

ought he was

er, that that is because you have always behaved as a bachelor. In your profe

ault. I have been silly. I am so sorry, I beg your pardon

rtain. So M. Doumer and I will go with you. I will request to be introduced to this Miss Frazer, and M. Doumer

her words suggested appalled me into something

t keep me!-

me. As she advanced I retreated. I found the little woman

t silly tale Miss Boyes has been telling you, but there is not a word of truth in it, whatever it is." He seemed to have a wa

hy anyone's consideration. His wife, however, regarded neither his words nor

ing this apartment until this young person quits it with me. Nor do I propose to leave you two together to arrange a

quite so dictatorial. She opened the door, she pointed through it with her fingers. Shrugging his shoulders, with an air of piteous resignation he went in the direction in which the finger pointed. During his ab

you going to

my dear

he c

his wife to listen to a word or two of what he considered reason. She snapped him into silence. In vain he tried to make her realise the indignity of the situation into which she was thrusting both of us. Not a syllable would

that he would have turned tail even at the last moment had she not insisted on his entering first, with me next, while she herself brought up the rear. We we

ermit me to explain to

short his flo

Madame Doumer, the wife of M. Doumer." Mrs Sawyer b

esses." Mrs Sawyer turned to me. "Molly, we have

sort of explanation I should have offered. But

that account. May I ask you to request Miss Frazer to favour us with her company? I

rstand," bega

d. And no wonder. M

e I beg of you to

wife w

zer to come into this room I will endeavour to make myself a

came. She evidently had not a notion why she had been sent for.

s Madame Doumer. It appears that she has

d not have regarded her as a dangerous rival. But her manner could

ll be taken. But it is my duty, as a woman, to invite you to state, publicly,

n my h

as all of a fluster, wh

u charge him with

hy, I have never sp

s promptly i

I have never spoken to this lady in my life--nor she to me! So far

elings! "What do you mean by coming and telling me that this person was crying as if she would do herself an injury because

I did not say it! And you were cryi

yin

e and found you cryi

and there. As for me, I wa

crying, but it wasn

yer int

gin to understand what this is all about. Can you tell us what you wer

ecause of what

f what I s

yer's turn to

me to wear plaids, not even my

rs Sawyer bundled me out of the room and up to my

was bellowing like a bull calf because of the injury M. Doumer had wrought her virgin heart, when all the time it was because Mrs Sawyer had ventured to suggest that she did not think plaids we

med at her like some wild thing. When she understood what I had been doing, instead of exhibiting penitence, or the least scrap of sympathy, she burst into peal after peal of laughter. I could have shaken her. But she had such a way about her, and could be so lovely when she chose, that, by degrees, I forgave her, though I never meant to. That tale was told. Everybody in the place had it off by heart within four-and-twenty hours. I

do when I recall that adventure to this hour--