Sons and Lovers

at Nottingham Castle. Miss Jordan had taken a good deal of interest in him, and invi

noise from his mother. Rushing into the kitchen, he found her standing on the hearthrug wild

her!" he

rms round him for a moment,

oy! I knew we

out in such frenzy. The postman came running back, afraid something had happene

ize, Fred," she cried, "and

e!" said the young postman, wh

ton has bought

ucky letter. Mrs. Morel went indoors and sat down, trembling. Paul was afraid lest she might have misread the letter, and might be dis

!" he e

do it!" she said, preten

e off the fire an

k, mother-" he b

o much-but I expe

so much,"

I knew we s

t with his shirt turned back, showing his young throat almost li

hat you wanted to buy Arthur out. Now

an't take it

t w

se I s

twelve pounds,

to take only the five pounds she needed. He would not hear

at night from

e for his picture, and sold it to L

es people do te

r sure it wor a lie. But they s

ld tell him

sented t

isappointed

got the first priz

at heavily

eguy!" he

cross the r

She was silent awhile. "Major Moreton b

Tha niver says!

it was w

t twenty guineas for a bit of a paintin

of his son. Mrs. Morel snif

handle th' money?"

ou. When the picture is

arm, with the hand all gnarled with work lay on the table. His wife pretended not to see hi

a done as much if they hadna h

. Morel like a cold blade. It left her

inner at Mr. Jordan's

want an eve

nt or two of silence. "There's that one of William's," she continued, "

me to wear it,

ou-at least the coat. The tr

, he looked strange in a flannel collar and a flannel shir

his shoulder. "It's beautiful stuff. I never could find in my he

st son. But this son was living enough inside the clothes. She passed her

arted now. The studs she and the children had bought for William were in his shirt-front; he wore one of William's dress shirts. But he had an elega

It was as if she had been there. And he was dying to introduce her

he said. "What do they

know me-and they say they do-then they want to k

h you, child!

been-so small and exquisite. And when Annie insisted on her having more stylish blouses to suit her age, she submitted. She even went so far as to allow a black velvet bow to be placed on her hair. Then she sniffed in her

he beliefs that would hamper him, had cleared the ground, and come more or less to the bedrock of belief that one should feel

o belong to the well-to-do middle class. I like my

uldn't you be in a tear. YOU know you c

in my class or my education or

hen why talk about

themselves. Only from the middle classes one gets ideas, and from th

But, then, why don't you go a

re rather

ou mix with now-among the common people? Those that exchange

ere's t

m than you could get from any educated girl-say Mis

classes, a thing not very difficult, she knew.

ion seemed to bleed him of his energy. Moreover, his mother suspected him of an unrecognised leaning towards Clara, and, since the latter was a married woman, she wished he would

your breaking away from old things, and taking life in y

cried. "It's nothing to

uestion dis

MAKE you happy-and you began to think of settling your life-when you have the mean

his wound of Miriam. He pushed the tumbled hair

woman's whole doctrine for life-ease of sou

mother. "And do you call y

ness! So long as life's full, it doesn't matter whether it

oke out. "But it does matter!" she cried. "And you OUGHT to be happy, you ought to try to

much worse off than the folk who've been happier. I reckon y

ttle-and suffer. It's about al

dear? I tell yo

ne OUGHT to be h

took place between her and her son, when she seemed to fight for his very life

don't feel life's paltry and a miserable business,

ssed hi

o be happy," she

y rather you wa

is own suffering, his own life, which is a form of slow suicide. It almost broke her heart. With all the passion of her strong nature she hated

e seemed to like Mrs. Dawes. At any rate that feeling was wholesome. His mother prayed and prayed for him, that he might not be wasted. That was all he

ge of two rooms. He was caught now. It did not matter how he kicked and struggled, he was fast. For a time he chafed, was irritable with his young wife, who loved him; he went almost distracted when the baby, which was delicate, cried or gave trouble. He grumbled for hours to his mother. She only said: "Well, my

he evening across Sneinton Market to Bluebell Hill. He found the house in a mean little street paved with granite cobbles and having causeways of dark blue, grooved bricks. The front door went up a step from off this rough pavement, where the feet of the passersby rasped and clatter

ements of photographs of departed people done in carbon. Mrs. Radford left him. She was stately, almost martial. In a moment Clara appe

uldn't be your v

as for a lamb. She invited him out of th

of fluff and ravelled cotton was at her right hand, a heap of three-quarter-inch lace lay on her left, whilst in front of her was the mountain of lace web, piling the hearthrug. Th

ack of brown cardboard squares, a pack of cards of lace, a l

so dark and warm that the white, s

nd the work," said Mrs. Radford. "I know

nst the wall opposite the white heaps. Then sh

out?" Mrs. Radford asked. "Cla

but Mrs. Rad

th it," she said. "Haven't you

e got that doesn't show the

him a bottle of stout and a glass. H

lifting the glass

you," said

a drink

so long as you don't set the ho

ou," he

'ouse again. A house o' women is as dead as a house wi' no fire, to my thinkin'. I'm not a

her. She sat square and magnificent. Her throat and arms were bare. The blood still mantled below her ears; she bent her head in shame of her humility. Her face was set on her work. Her arms were creamy and full of life beside the white lace; her large, we

continued the mother. "You're in Jordan's

es

when Thomas Jordan used to a

hed Paul. "And

h was latterly. For he's the sort that take

s very decen

I'm glad t

not old; merely her wrinkles and loose cheeks were an anachronism. She had the strength and sang-froid of a woman in the prime of life. She continued drawing the lace with slow, dignified movements. The big web cam

with Miriam Leivers?"

" he a

. "She's very nice, but she's a bit too

t like that,

e's got wings and can fly over eve

to him. He had surprised her in her drudgery. To have her humb

e jennying?

man do!" she r

t swe

's another trick the men have played, since

the men wouldn't be bad uns, that's what I say. No man was ever that bad wi' me but

ight really, aren'

t different from wo

be back at Jordan

hink so,"

. Don't you listen to her. She's for ever on that 'igh horse of hers, an'

thinking she might need his help. She seemed denied and deprived of so much. And her arm moved mechanically, that should never have been subdued to a mechanism, and her head was bowed to the lace, that never should h

r. So fine she was in her stature and her bearing, she reminded him of Juno dethro

with Mrs. Hodgkis

t met his. They looked dumb with humiliation, pleading with a kind of capti

he station in a sort of dream, and was at home w

er of the Spiral girls, was about to

whisper of your getting

flushe

alking to you

eard a whisper that

eedn't tell anybody. What

u won't make me

it, though. I'd rather st

as per

, Su

r was high, and

t's

must

about him a candour and gentleness whic

sorry,"

ame to

l right. You'll make the best of

othing els

the worst of it. Try

casion to call

id, "care to come

he table, and looked at him for some moments withou

" she

t rather

an is thinking of

tle jumps and bounds on to the card. He waited for her. Witho

aid anythin

o you, no

again a lo

the advertisement

e that. I will let yo

er little machine, and

mixed with the girls as one of themselves. If she had occasion to find fault, she did it coolly and with perfect politeness, which the defaulter felt to be a bigger insult than crassness. Towards Fan

tched her strong throat or her neck, upon which the blonde hair grew low and fluffy. There was a fine down

s. Then he felt her, though she neither spoke nor touched him. Although she stood a yard away he felt as if h

his work; sometimes sh

ay; and, as there was an element of truth in

his?" he would as

doubtful sound. "It do

n't understand

ask me a

ought you wou

furious. Then he abused her, and went into passionate exposition of his stuff

herself French, and could read in that language with a struggle. She considered herself as a woman apart, and particularly apart, from her class. The girls in the Spiral department w

inner meaning was hidden from everybody. It was exciting. And then sometimes he caught her looking at him from under her brows with an almost furtive, sullen scrutiny, which made him move quickly. Often she met his eyes. But then her ow

opy of Lettres de mon Mo

ench, do you

, balanced regularity, occasionally bending down to see her work or to adjust the needles; then her magnificent neck, with i

ay?" she asked,

ed at her insolent

u read French," he

replied, with a fai

aid, but scarcely lo

med to scorn the work she mechanically produced; yet

ike Spiral w

ork," she answered, as i

He had to do everything hotly.

ou prefer to

him indulgent

my ever being given a choice, that

w. "You only say that because you're too pr

ery well," she

t shakes, and that you live under the

ned away from him in disdain. He walked whistli

he said t

ed with himself, at the same time glad. "Serve her right;

in weight on his heart which he wanted to remove

. "I bought a handf

ed movements, like a young animal. His feet swung as he pondered. The sweets lay strewn on the bench. She bent over her machine, grinding rhythmically, then sto

ng, you're not really there: you are waiting-like Penelope when she did her weav

nce?" she said, carefully

ases me. Here, I say, you seem to forge

that mean?" s

e got a right

ing you want to

eedn't be nasty,"

ou want," she said,

reat me nicely a

, perhaps?" she

'sir'. I sho

you would go

frown came on his face.

ed superior for a

to be. In fact, he doubted slightly that he was showing off. But if he were, then he

lying untouched in front of Clara's machine. He left them. In the morning they were still the

ou got a chocol

I meant to have offered them;

ou did," s

oon. You don't want them after t

particular,"

said. "They'

p to Clar

se things litteri

. He gathered them

d have taken them. I wonder why you didn't.

to the yard below. He just glanced

on he brought

aid, offering them first t

e, and put it o

veral-for lu

the bench also. Then she turned in confu

ussy," he said.

her?" cried the

they're not

round. Pussy drew

d. "I can have first

'em," he said,

dear," the

e," he a

colate creams would burn her if she touched them. It needed

so distant, treating them as if they scarcely existed, or not more than the bobbins of thread. And then

ting an old man, and lame from his accidents, was given a paltry, poor job. Miriam was an eternal reproach. He felt he owed himself to her, yet could

not turned up. The girls were not due till 8.30. As he

aul, I w

e top of her stairs, her face radiant with

you,"

od, at

d. "Come before you

k cashmere skirt seemed very long, as she strode with big strides before the young man, himself so graceful. She went to her seat at the narrow end of the room, where the window op

e'd forgot you?" sh

e had forgotten hi

o the calendar, and he saw, surrounding the big black

irthday," he laughed

delighted. "There's one from everybody-except Lady Clara-

you're spoo

indignant. "I could never be so soft.

ard-hearted hussy," he laughed. "A

frozen meat," Fanny blurted. Paul kne

nasty things abou

"No, my duck, because you don't think yourself a fine figure in marble and us not

er than one another,

ou, aren't I, Paul?"

If it comes to goodn

of the situation. Sh

he others-won't they say I'm dee

action to words, and expecting a piece of chocolate. He heard the rustl

ue eyes shining, was gazing at him. There was a little bun

y," he sa

," she answe

, b

rt?" she asked, rockin

the best in t

the right sor

t I'd made to get when my s

th emotion. She must

t; they all paid their shares,

of Sheba

t she join?"

d her; we wasn't going to have HER bossi

he must go. She was very close to him. Suddenly she fl

said apologetically. "You've looke

. Her arms were so pitifully

he ran downstairs to wash

nner!" he exclaimed. I

al-appliance stock. I MUST go out now, or I

e instantly cau

ing anywher

eps alongside Paul, bowing and turning away from him. Dowdy in dress, and drooping, she showed to great disadvantage. He could scarcely recognise her s

the squat, square building that crowns the bluff of rock. They leaned upon the wall where the cliff runs sheer down to the Park. Below them, in their holes in the sandstone, pigeons preened the

up the folk like tadpoles, and h

ghed, a

ff in order to see us proportionately.

nly," h

ghed cy

g the black heaps. Beyond, the dwellings, very dense on the river flat, looked like black, poisonous herbage, in thick rows and crowded beds, stretching right away, broken now and then by taller plants, right to where the river glistened

think the town goes no farther. It is o

scab," P

e country which was forbidden her, her impassive face, pale and h

his is the crude, clumsy make-shift we've practised on, till

t the large church of St. Mary rose into space, to keep close company with the Castle, abov

better,"

e replied. "Gr

other!" sh

he left hand what you gave with th

d in amuse

"I know you were brooding something special.

ll not tell y

hug it," h

ed and bi

aid, "it wa

ut 'em?"

ow, and to-day they seem particularly full of i

he asked

llic, angry tone, "if they did not thrust it

e women,"

ir mean gloating,"

irls gloated over. He was sorry to

bitterly; "but they might refrain from glorying in them, and makin

few minutes. He w

jealous of you"-he felt her stiffen coldly at the word 'jealous'-"merely because I sometimes bring you a book," he added slowly. "But, you see, it's o

resent intimacy. It was almost insolent of him. Yet he was

o himself. And she saw nothing but his two hands, so warm and alive, which seemed to live for her. He was brooding now, staring out over the country from under sullen brows. The little, interesting diversity of shapes had vanished from the scene; all that remained was a vast, dark matrix of sorrow and tragedy, the same in all the houses and the river-flats and the

striking?" Mrs. Daw

to form, regained its individuality, i

ried bac

's post, examining the work up from Fanny's room,

handing Paul a package. "A lady's ha

te, was pleased to make fun of

ow me to send you this, and so spare me my isolation. I a

can't afford it. Good Lord,

. In the glow he could almost feel her as if she were present-her arm

Mrs. Dawes his eyes lifted and gave that peculiar bright greeting which they could interpret. Knowing he was

as quite unaware of the state of his own feeling, and that nothing was wrong. He talked to her now with some of the ol

op of the hill. He climbed and sat on a gate, she sat on the stile. The afternoon was

when you married?"

nty-

, almost submissive.

ight yea

es

did you

years

you love him when

r some time; then

idn't think much about it. And he

walked into it

have been asleep n

But-when did

ever did, or ever hav

rew to be a woman? How quee

there," she repl

the hedges where the rose-

ere?" h

ver really ma

ottages burned among the blue haze. He loved the day. He cou

leave him? Was

ddered

he hadn't got me. And then I felt as if I wanted to run,

s

not at

always dirty

seemed as if he couldn't get AT me, real

you leave h

se he was unfa

nd lay on the gate-post as she balanced. He

ou ever-did you eve

nce?

e near

him-and I w

e to keep their

he loves yo

like it,"

ould not. She saved him by removing he

him out of co

t me,"

ldn't MAKE himself me

to bully m

them both out of their dept

id. "Let's go an

ared broodingly into her tea-cup, twisting her wedding ring all the time. In her abstraction she took the ring off her finger, stood it up, and spun it upon the

onsidered that he was perfectly honourable with regard to her. It was only

d with her, he knew the curves of her breast and shoulders as if they had been moulded inside him; and yet he did not positively desire her. He would have denied it for ever. He believed himself really bound to Miriam. If ever he should marry, some time in the far future, it would be his duty to marry Miriam. That he gave Cla

was a married woman-was shallow and temporal, compared with his love for herself. He would come back to her, she was sure; with some of his young freshness gone, perh

d she belonged to Bestwood and home and his youth. Clara was a newer friend, and

olness, when they saw little of each oth

wes?" he asked her. It was a th

what

horrid with him? Didn't you do so

t, p

if he were nothing-I

er, my friend,"

there. But it made her co

iendship between the two women was not

rt on Sunday afternoon?" Clara

o up to Willey F

very

mind, do yo

ld I?" sh

most ann

e been a lot to each other ever since

g time," Cl

how she-it doe

asked

e wouldn't leave a single hair of me free

like to

normal, give and take-like me and you. I wan

, it couldn't be nor

then. She sort of wants me so

s you

my body. I can't help s

t you l

ve her. I never

t?" Cla

n't k

ou're afraid

inks from her like hell-she's

u know wha

he wants a sort

you know wha

ith her for

und out the very fi

t's

our soul communion. That's your

er this. Perha

seems-"

er tried,"