The Wrong Box

ast Station of Bournemouth. The weather was raw and changeable, and Joseph was arrayed in consequence according to the principles of Sir Faraday Bond, a man no le

aid your fee, to add with stentorian emphasis: 'I had forgotten one caution: avoid kippered sturgeon as you would the very devil.' The unfortunate Joseph was cut to the pattern of Sir Faraday in every button; he was shod with the health boot; his suit was of genuine ventilating cloth; his shirt of hygienic flannel, a somewhat dingy fabric; and he was draped to the knees in the inevitable greatcoa

. Had he lingered a moment longer by the window, this tale need never have been written. For he might then have observed (as the porters did not fail to do) the ar

uming a discussion which had scarcely ceased a

tleman, with an air of bitter obstinacy. 'I

which had been given him at breakfast to

s. 'His property! the very clot

aid John. 'I am si

his disrespect. You are a pair of exceedingly forward, impudent, and ignorant yo

' said the g

ience had revolted in a body; finding their entertainer somewhat dry, they had taken the question of amusement into their own hands; and the lecturer (along with the board schoolmaster, the Baptist clergyman, and a working-man's candidate, who made up his bodyguard) was ultimately driv

have no wish to bother you f

tremulous hands he produced a copy of the British Mech

eflected the nephew. 'I don't like the look of

the Pink Un, and Morris revolving in his mind a dozen grudges, and suspicions, and alarms. It passed Christchurch by the sea, Herne with its pinewoods, Ringwood on its mazy river. A little behind time, but not much f

f Sir Faraday, robed in ventilating cloth and sent to Bournemouth; and to that domineering baronet (who was his only friend upon his native soil) he was now returning to report. The case of these tweedsuited wanderers is unique. We have all seen them entering the table d'hote (at Spezzia, or Grdtz, or Venice) with a genteel melancholy and a faint appearance of having been to India and not succeeded. In the offices of many hundred hotels they are known by name; and yet, if the whole of this wandering cohort were to disappear tomorrow, their absence would be wholly unremarked. How much more, if only one - say this one in the ventilating cloth - should vanish! He ha

es, and sprang to the window. Women were screaming, men were tumbling from the windows on the track, the guard was crying to them to stay where they were; at the same time the train began to gath

the bare earth and under the open sky. His head ached savagely; he carried his hand to his brow, and was not surprised to see it red with blood. The air was filled with an intolerable, throbbing roar, which he expected

the Bournemouth train; that of the express was mostly hidden by the trees; and just at the turn, under clouds of vomiting steam and piled about with cairns of living coal, lay what remained o

s paper. 'Poor old John! poor old cove!' he thought, the schoolboy expression popping forth from some forgotten treasury, and he took his brother's hand in his with childish tenderness. It

cried, and pointed to the vomit of steam that still spouted from the broken engines. And the pair

arty of men who had already organized

th the sweat streaming down his pallid face, and who,

young man, nodding grimly, hand

. We want every man we can get,' he added; 'there's terrible work before us,

ris, under the spur of the dram, awok

e cried. 'U

be? He can't be far off. I hop

tion strangely foreign to his ordinary bearing; and then, for one moment

he collision, where the boilers were still blowing off steam with a deafening clamour. It was a part of the field not yet gleaned by the rescuing party. The ground, especially on the margin of the wood, was full of inequalities - here a pit, there a hillock surmou

equired. The snowy hair, the coat of marten, the ventilating cloth, the hygienic flannel - everything down to the health boots from Messrs Dail and

ch of natural feeling; 'I would give ten pou

tellectual effort, he stood there silent. Here was a last injustice; he had been robbed while he was an orphan at school, he had been lashed to a decadent leather business, he had been

els, we must get him into the woods. I

aid John, 'wh

s, as he took the corpse by the sho

were under cover; and a little further back, in a sandy clearing of the tr

mean to do?'

Morris, and he opened his pocket

hand of it with that,

wardly shirk,' screamed Morri

'but no man shall call me a coward,' an

lukewarm help on that of John; and still the trench was barely nine inches in depth. Into this the body was rudely flung: sand was piled upon it, and then more sand must be dug, and gorse had to be cut to pile on that; and still from one end of the sordi

we can do,' said M

you'll have the politeness to

you do not understand for yourself

e,' returned the other. 'But it's the merest

e Masterman is dead. I know it,

is Uncle Josep

unless I choose,

nd Uncle Masterman's been dead ever so long, all we

the undertaker, all bought, the certificate all ready but the date! Let him get wind of this business, and you mark my words, Uncle Masterman will die in two days and be

l, ain't it?

moral courage,' replie

wrong? Suppose Uncle Mast

e Masterman must die some day; as long as Uncle Joseph was alive, he might have died any day; but we're out of

t about it' sighed John. 'But you know,

d,' cried Morris; 'I have the best c

er business,' suggested the other.

l in Morris that he suffered this to

y, there's no sort of trouble. We bury him in the cellar, which seems made

ave him where he

'This wood may be a regular lovers' walk. Turn your mind to

be least able to dispatch a dead body without remark. John feebly proposed getting an ale-cask and sending it as beer, but the objections to this course were so overwhelming that Morris scorned t

e we rent a cottage by the month. A householder can buy a packing-case without remark. Then suppose we clear the people out today, get the packing-case tonight, and tomorrow I hire a carriage or a cart

s more feasible

is. 'It would never do to keep our own. What do you sa

u may, if you like. I shall call myself Vance - the Great Vance; p

g a pantomime for our amusement? There was never a

nding at once. You may call yourself Fortescue till all's blue,

rical names,' cried Morris. 'Ley

is brother. 'I am going to have my li

ed that John was determined to carry

d John, 'the only original George V

arpenter, a man rich in cottages of the required description, and unaffectedly eager to supply their wants. The second place they visited, standing, as it did, about a mile and a half from any neighbours, caused them to exchange a glance of hope. On a nearer view, the place was not without depressing features. It stood in a marshy-look

cheapening the place, r

ou can't sleep two abed, you'd

is, 'there's no water. H

ig barrel that stood beside the door. 'The spring ain't so very far of

later the Finsbury brothers might have been observed returning to the blighted cottage, having along with them the key, which was the symbol of their tenancy, a spirit-lamp, with which they fondly told themselves they would be able to cook, a pork pie of suitable dimensions, and a quart of the worst whisky in H

aw, the blankets (which he himself, at least, had not the smallest intention of using for their present purpose) would exactly take the place of packing; and Morris, as the difficulties began to vanish from his path, ros

fall-to on the pork pie. Morris retailed the discovery of the lid, and the Great Vance

always said a water-butt was wh

must stay on in this place till I give the word; I'll give out that uncle is resting in the New Forest

jaw d

You can stay in this h

s cheeks. He saw that he mus

of the tontine. If I succeed, we shall have each fifty th

'what then? What'll be the colour

d Morris, with an inward strug

-s are yours, and half-profits mine, I don'

get angry and controlled himself with difficulty; 'why,

ed the Great Vance; 'it's

expenses; I divide profits; and you won't take the slightest pains

s brother's vehemence, 'suppose that Uncle Masterman is alive afte

ry tone; 'I only ask a month at the outside; and if Unc

y shouldn't I go at once? Tell 'em that

e,' said

house, it's such a pig-sty, it's so dreary

, 'and that was to reduce the rent. But reall

mplained the victim. 'How

he tontine worth a little trouble, sa

John. 'Well'- with a deep sigh -'send me the Pink Un an

, Morris would produce the whisky-bottle, and at first John welcomed the diversion - not for long. It has been said this spirit was the worst in Hampshire; only those acquainted with the county can appreciate the force of that superlative; and at length even the Great Vance (who was no co

The thing's nonsense, Morris. The parties that lived

game - he had found all the rest too intellectual - and he played it with equal skill and good fortune. To Morris himself, on the other hand, the whole business was detestable; he

n with the tontine before his eyes, this was as much as he could bear; and, remarking

nt necessities was withdrawn from the water-butt, which was then emptied and rolled before the kitchen