The Abandoned Farmers

time a decade or so thence to begin thinking of the furnishings. So far as I could tell there was no hurry and probably there never would be any hu

s practically to be at a standstill. From the standpoint of a mere bystander whose only function is to pay the bills, it seems that the

t stated intervals there were great gobs of payments on account of this or that to be met and still and yet and notwithstanding, to the lay eye the progress appeared infinitesimal. For the first time I could understand why Pharaoh or Rameses

urnishings was broached I stoutly demurred. A

y to make affidavit to the fact. I'll go further than that. I'll bet any sum within reason, up to a million dollars, that the

hey dallied along and dallied along and killed time until process curing came into fashion among the best families of Ancient Rome and smokehouses lost their vogue altogether. Let us not be too impetuous about the detail of furnishings. I have a f

yle that they'll be back in style all over again, if you get me. These things move in cycles, you know. One generation buys furniture and uses it. The next generation finding it hopelessly old-fashioned and out of date burns it up or casts it away or gives

e what we had but our own children won't. They'll junk it. To-day's monstrosity is day-after-tomorrow's art treasure just as today's museum piece is day-before-yesterday's monstrosity. Therefore,

to be true-the fact remained and was not to be gainsaid that we did not have anywhere

e six or eight years before we decided to mov

sy I think up an apt bit of repartee like that I am apt to utter it a second time for the sake

e state of Rhode Island. And what about the monthly statements we are getting now from the storage warehouse signed by the president of the company, ol

, you could put the biggest bedroom we had there into the smallest bedroom we are going to have here and lose it! And then think of the halls we must furnish and the living room and the breakfast porch and everything.

't have

he sam

it. "Besides, you know I don't like cats. What is the use of importing foreign matters such as cats-and purely problematical cats at th

e, where was I? Oh, yes: Did we have a hall in that flat worthy to be dignified by the name of a hall? We did not! We had a passageway-that's what it was-a p

lor picture up on its wall and uncomfortably crowded if you put a clarionet in the corner. It would have been bad luck to open an umbrella anywhere in our flat-bad luck for the umbrella if for nothing else. Despite its enormous capacity for inhaling furniture it had been, when you came right down to cases, a form-fitting fiat. So

s promised us on his

or it may be a minnow: that detail makes no difference to him-and you ask the waiter how about it, and he is absolutely certain that it will be possible to borrow a fishing pole somewhere and dig bait and send out and catch that fish and bring it back in and clean it and take the scales and the fins off and garnish it with sprigs of parsley and potatoes and lemon and make some drawn butter sauce to pou

t was that we set about the task of furnishing the rooms that were to be. From that hour dated the beginning of my wider and fuller education into the system commonly in vogue these times in or near the larger cities along our Atlantic seaboard for the furnis

n your funds on hand. The thing works out the same way every time. I care not how voluminously large and plethoric your cash balance may be, period furniture carried to an excess will convert it into a recent site and then the bank will be sending you one of those little printed notices politely in

djusting department to see how your deposits seem to be bearing up under the strain. It is as though he heard you were buying oil stocks or playing the races ou

to me. But in the light of my painfully acquired knowledge I now can see the difference almost at a glance. Sometimes I may waver a trifle. I look at a piece of furniture which purports to be an authentic antique. It is decrepit and creaky and infirm; the upholstering is frayed and faded and stained; the legs are splayed and tottery; the seams gape and there are cracks in the paneling. If it is a chair, no plump person in his or her right

ably would say that this was a matter which naturally might appeal to a worm but would probably hold forth no great attraction for a human being, unless he happened to be thinking of going fishing. But this was in my more ignorant, cruder days, before I took a beginner's easy cour

t novice at distinguishing between ancient wormholes, as made by a worm, and modern wormholing done by piece-work. I cannot explain to you just how I do this-it is a

s of his life just to wormholes. True, like most great specialists he is a person of one idea. Get him off of wormholes and the conversation is apt to drag, but discussing his own topic he can go on

been done by an unorganized foreign worm-possibly even a pauperized worm-two or three hundred years ago, when there was no such thing as a closed shop and no protection against germs. Whenever possible I believe in patronizing the products of

ake to appraise antique furniture. When a connoisseur lays hold upon a piece of furniture al-leged to have rightful claims to antiquity the first thing he does is to run his hand along the exposed surfaces to ascertain by the practiced touch of his fingers whether the patina is on the level or was applied

h age, long usage and wear. With the passage of time fabrics also may acquire it. You may have noticed it in connection with a pair of black diagonal trousers that had seen long and severe wear or on the elbows of summer-b

n any way to be compared with the refined atmosphere which is about the only thing you can get for nothing in Europe-as I say, brought up as I was amid such raw surroundings and from the cradle made the unconscious victim of this environment, I had an idea that when a person craved furniture he went for it to a regular furniture store having ice boxes and porch hammocks and unparalleled bargains in golden oak

bounded at the farther end by such sterling examples of parlor statuary as the popular pieces respectively entitled, "Welcoming the New Minister," "Bringing Home the Bride," and "Baby's First Bath," and bounded at the nearer end by bu

. Tony subsequently became nobby and nobby is now swagger, but though the idioms change with the years the meaning remains the same. When the parlor was opened for a formal occasion-it remained closed while the ordinary life of the household went on-its interior gave off a rich deep turpentiny smell like a paint-and-varnish store on a hot day.

est Kentucky, for we were a conservative breed and slow to take up the mission styles featuring armchairs weighing a couple of hundred pounds apiece and art-craft designs in hammered metals and semi-tanned

hose wishful of following the modes did not go to a good live shop making a specialty of easy payments when they had a house-furnishing proposition on their hands. That might be all very w

who can think up more ways and quicker ways of spending other people's money than the director of a shipping board can. But whether you retained the services of a regular decorator or elect

h an establishment, on the days when a sale is announced-which means two or three times a week for a good part of the year-repair wealthy patrons, patrons who were wealthy before

or rugs or tapestries, or whatever it is that constitutes their favorite hobby. There are sure to be prominent actor folk and aut

auction it at their own houses at a profit. With the resident proprietor one of this gentry is about as popular as a bat in a boarding sc

res from little clutter-hole shops on cross streets at the fringe of the