Sir Thomas Urquhart of Cromartie, Knight

el, and LOGOPANDECTEISION:

kings. He had appeared in the world of letters in several different aspects,-as a man of science, and as the representative and poet, as historian of a family which, for long descent and gloriou

tate off-hand or in a single sentence what they were. A Scottish Divinity professor of somewhat erratic habits began, on one occasion, a lecture in which he was to deal with several miscellaneous items, with the words, "Gentlemen, my subject to-day will be hotch-potch." This is an exact description of The Jewel, a

n the Scottish name; an account of Scotsmen famous for martial exploits or for learning during the previous half-century; a statement of personal wrongs inflicted upon the author by ministers of his own parishes; arguments in favour of the union of Scotland and England; and apologies for the simple and unadorned strain in which the work is written. All through the volume Sir Thomas is spoken of in the third person, and the signature of "Christianus Presbyteromastix" is attached to the p

in the composing instrument, standing for my conception; and his plenishing of the gally, and imposing of the form, encountering with the supposed equi-value of my writing, we would almost every foot or so jump together in this joynt expedition, and so neerly overtake other in our intended course, that I was oftentimes, (to keep him doing), glad to tear off parcels of ten or twelve lines apeece, and give him them, till more were ready;[201] unto which he would so suddenly put an order, that almost still, before the ink of the written letters was dry, their representatives were, (out of their respective boxes), ranked in the composing-stick; by means of which great haste, I writing but upon the loose sheets of cording-quires, which, as I minced and tore them, looking

f exquisite snaps and clean shavers [snappers-up and plunderers?] (if ever there were any), rushing into Master Spilsbury's house, (who is a very honest man, and hath an exceeding good woman to his wife), broke into an upper chamber, where finding, (besides scarlet cloaks, buff suits, arms of all sorts, and other such rich chaffer, at such an exigent escheatable to the prevalent soldier[203]), seven large portmantles ful of precious commodity; in three whereof, after a most exact search for gold, silver, apparel, linen, or any whatever adornments of the body, or pocket implements, as was seized upon in the other four, not hitting on any things but manuscripts in folio, to the quantity of six score and eight quires and a half, divided into six hundred fourty and two quinternions and upwards, the quinternion consisting of five sheets, and the quire of five and twenty; besides some writings of suits in law, and bonds, in both worth abo

d of one Master Braughton taken up by a servant of his; who, after he had (in the best manner he could) cleansed it from the mire and mud of the kennel, did forthwith present it to the perusal of his master; in whose hands it no sooner came, but instantly perceiving by the periodical couching of the discourse, marginal figures, and breaks here and there, according to the variety of the subject, that the whole purpose was destinated for the press, and by the author put into a garb befitting either the stationer or printer's acceptance; yet because it seemed imperfec

of the preface to a grammar and lexicon of a Universal Language, of which he was the inventor. The loss of a work of such a size and of such great importance did not greatly depress him. He stated that if he got but encouragement and time, freedom and the enjoyment of his ancestral estates, he doubted not but that he could supply the missing sheets-the originals of which h

obtain all

more than h

reets, wiped clean, and presented to the public in The Jewel, was republished with additions in Sir Thomas Urquhart's

act that, at no battle in the period named, were all the Scots that fought overthrown and totally routed. The explanation of this statement is that there were always Scots on both sides, so that, if some were defeated and taken prisoners, others of that nation were victorious a

a historical or a mythical character, is a matter of some uncertainty. If any who are possessed of only this amount of information on the subject seek for more by reading our author's description of Crichton, the probability is that they will decide that he is quite mythical. The extraordinary flightiness, turgidity, and bombast which mark the narrative, in spite of its many conspicuous merits, make it seem a mere piece of burlesque, rather than a genuine history;[206] and yet there is ample evidence of an unimpeachable kind of the truthfulness of the main statements which it contains. Sir Thomas Urquhart's narrative was for

ed as Master of Arts, and stood third in order of merit among the students of his year. After leaving the university he spent three years in the pursuit of learning, devoting himself to one after another of the various bra

with a custom of the time, in various parts of the city, challenges to literary and philosophic disputation, and announced that he would present himself on a certain day at the College of Navarre, to answer any questions that might be put to him "in any science, liberal art, discipline, or faculty, whether practical or theoretic," and this in any one of twelve specified languages-Hebrew, Syriac, Arabic, Greek, Latin, Spanish, French, Italian, English, Dutch, Flemish, or Selavonian. Our readers may find in the appendix a full narrative in Sir Thomas Urquhart's inimitable style of this extraordinary episo

is, indeed, laughed at it; but then he laughed at many things which the people of his time did not think absurd. John Hill Burton is of the opinion that Sir Thomas Urquhart, in describing the way in which Crichton conducted himself on the field which had witnessed Pantagruel's feats, had the ridicule of Rabelais in view, and that, in spite of his laudations, we cannot help having the impression that his tongue is

proceeded to Padua, and from thence to the Court of Mantua, where the adventure occurred with which Sir Thomas Urquhart begins the narrative of his celebrated fellow-countryman's exploits, namely, the defeat and death of the travelling bravo, whose challenge he had accepted. Sir Thomas is the only authority for this incident in Crichton's history. As there is no reason to believe that he invent

the streets of Mantua, from a visit to his mistress, and was playing a guitar, when suddenly he was attacked by a riotous party of men in masks, whom, however, he speedily put to flight. He seized the leader of the party, overpowered him, and tore off his mask, and found to his horror that it was his own pupil, the son of the Duke of Mantua. He instantly dropped upo

ss which, as Tytler remarks, reminds one of the multitude of particulars by the enumeration of which Mrs Quickly sought to bring to Falstaff's remembrance his promise to marry her,[212] Sir Thomas Urquhart depicts the lovers in the "alcoranal paradise" in which they were embowered on that evening. "Nothing," he says, "tending to the pleasure of all the senses was wanting; the weather being a little chil and coldish, they on a blue velvet couch sate by one another to

like one of the Graces possest with a Fury, spoke thus: 'O villains! what have you done? you vipers of men, that have thus basely slaine the valiant Crichtoun,

eat Italian, and so purely fancied, as if Ariosto, Dante, Petrark, and Bembo had been purposely resuscitated, to stretch even to the utmost their poetick vein to the honour of this brave man; whose picture till this hour is to be seen in the bed-chambers or galleries of the most of the great men of that nation, representing him on horseback, with a lance in one hand and a book in the other; and most of the young ladies likewise, that were anything handsome,[215] in a memorial of his worth, had his effigies in a little oval tablet of gold hanging 'twixt their breasts, and held, for many yeers together, that metamazion, or intermammilary or

nd most forcible manner he repudiates the whole policy of the dominant party in Scotland, and declares that a true Royalist or Malignant like himself had much more in common with an Independent, than either of them had with a Presbyterian; and he enlarges upon the turbulent dis

f card kings in playing at the hundred; any one whereof, if there be appearance of a better game without him, and that the exchange of him for another incoming card is like to conduce more for drawing of the stake, is by good gamesters without any ceremony discarded: or as the French on the Epiphany-day use their Roy de la Febre, or king of the bean; whom, after they have honoured with drinking of his health, and shouting Le Roy boit, le Roy boit, they make pay for all the reckoning; not leaving him sometimes one peny, rather then [than] that the exorbitancie of their debosh should not be satisfied to the full. They may be likewise said to use their king as the players at nine-pins do the middle kyle, which they call the king; at whose fall alone they aim, the sooner to obtain the gai

e, and of men of other professions, who by hook and crook, fas et nefas, slight and might, (all being as fish their net could catch), having feathered their nests to some purpose, look so idolatrously upon their Dagon of wealth, and so closely, (like the earth's dull center), hug all unto themselves, that for no respect of vertue, honour, kinred, patriotism, or whatever else, (be it never so recommendable), will they depart from so much as one single peny, whose emission doth not, without any hazard of loss, in a very short time superlucrate beyond all conscience an additionall increase to the heap of that stock which they so much adore; which churlish and tenacious humor hath made many that were not acquainted with any else of that country, to imagine all their compatriots infected with the same leprosie of a wretched p

library in every parish"[219]-Sir Thomas proceeds to argue in a very sensible and convincing manner for complete union between Scotland and England. The subject is introdu

bolical, either epitatically or hypocoristically, as the purpose required to be elated or extenuated, with qualifying metaphors, and accompanied by apostrophes; and lastly, with allegories of all sorts, whether apologal, affabulatory, parabolary, ?nigmatick, or par?mial. And on the other part, schematologetically adorning the proposed theam with the most especial and chief flowers of the garden of rhetorick, and omitting no figure either of diction or sentence, that might contribute to the ear's enchantment, or perswasion of the hearer. I could have introduced, in case of obscurity, synonymal, exargastick, and palilogetick elucidations; for sweetness of phrase, antimetathetick commutations of epithets; for the vehement excitation of a matter, exclamation in the front, and epiphonemas in the reer. I could have used, for

on words), to be a little pedantical, and to the smooth touch of a delicate ear somewhat harsh and scabrous, yet in their exerced act, (as they suppone for things reduplicatively as things in the first apprehension of the minde, by them signified), I could, even in far abstruser purposes, have so fitly adjusted them with apt and proper termes, and with such perspicuity couched them, as would have been suitable to the capacities of courtiers and young ladies,[221] whose tender hearing, for the most part, being more taken with the insinuating harmony of a well-concerted period, in its isocoletick and parisonal members, then [than] with the never-so-pithy a fancy of a learne

William Bedell (1570-1642), the Bishop of Kilmore and Ardagh, who is better known for promoting the translation of the Bible into the Irish tongue. We are told by Burnet, who wrote his life, that he had in his diocese a clergyman named Johnston, a man of ability, but, unfortunately, of "mercurial wit." In order to give him adequate employment, and to keep him, we suppose, out of mi

e already gleaned heavily in the earlier chapters of this volume, and the only connexion between them and the Universal Language is that they show the difficulties which prevented the author from carrying out his plan. The sources from which these difficulties arose are vaguely indicated in the titles of the books: thus, the second is called "Chrestasebeia, or Impious Dealing of Creditors"; the third, "Cleronomaporia, or the Intricacy of a Distressed Successor or Apparent Heir"; the fourth, "Chryseomystes, or the Covetous Preacher"; and the fifth, "Neleodicastes, or the Pitiless Judge." While the sixth book is entitled "Philoponauxesis, or Furtherance of Industry," and tells of the marvellous benefits which would accrue to all branches of trade, manufacture, and industry in Scotland, if the writer's dema

as forward, and however you invert the letters, still shall you fall upon significant words, whereby a wonderful facility is obtained in making of anagrams.... Of all languages, this is the most compendious in complement, and consequently fittest for courtiers and ladies.... As its interjections are more numerous, so are they more emphatical in their respective expression of passions, then [than] that part of speech is in any other language whatsoever."[225] And finally Sir Thomas vouches for its conciseness in a hyperbole which it would be difficult to excel. "This language," he says, "affordeth so concise words for numbering, that the number for setting down, whereof would require in vulgar arithmetic more figures in a row then [than] there might be grains of sand containable from the center of the earth to the highest heavens, is in it expressed by two letters."[226] A considerable revenue might be secured if the rule found at the end of some of Grimm's Household Tales were applied to this statement, and

principles exactly similar to those which he divulged more than a hundred years prior to its invention, in the preface to his Universal Language."[228] This is a statement which it is rather difficult to understand. The only indication of the nature of the new tongue which we can glean from Sir Thomas's description of it, is that every letter of every word in it would have a meaning, so that when anyone who kn

number would of itself be sufficient; for as certainly as the principles of body are the point, the line, and the surface, the principles of number are the monad and the duad, though philosophers only are aware of the fact." The idea that this venerated instrument for the expression or concealment of thought was the concoction of a committee of primitive sages, and that they deliberately invented the dual, and added it as another spike to the chevaux-de-frise through which our young people, of both sexes, have to struggle[230] on the

kennel of Worcester-streets, the day after the Fight, and six before the Autumnal Equinox, anno 1651. Serving in this place, To Frontal a Vindication of the honour of Scotland, from that Infamy, whereinto t

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allusion to the fact that this "exquisite Jewel" was taken out of the kennel the morrow after the battle of Worcester. But the word is evidently αυρον-the Lat. aurum, "gold." In the "Postilla" to the Pedigree of the Urquharts, our author says that "the shire of Cromartie ... hath the names of its towns, villages, hamlets, dwellin

Athenes was to

σ??. Another indication of the difference between the Cromartian and Attic forms of speech is given by

pidity, which no one seems to believe;-begun in October, 1791, and the sheets sent to the press by the post, as fast as they were scribbled." The passage in which he refers to the vexations to which he had been subjected is worth quoting, on account of its similarity to our Sir Thomas's story. "I have suffered," he says, "a hundred times more disappointments, and crosses, and in

Works,

mity liable to be forfeited

rks, pp.

pendix I

he style of Rabelais. It might almost be pieced together from the meeting of Pantagruel with the Limousin scholar, the discomfiture

worthy. At an early stage in the article he remarks: "And here it must be observed that no credit can be granted to any facts which depend upon the sole authority of Sir Thomas Urquhart.... I must declare my full persuasion that Sir Thomas Urquhart is an author whose testimony to facts is totally unworthy of regard; and it is surprising that a perusal of his works does not strike every mind with this conviction. His productions are so inexpressibly absurd and extravagant, that the only rational judgment which can be pronounced concerning him is, that he was little, if at all, better than a madman. To the character of his having been a madman must

Johnson has reproduced Sir Thomas Urquhart's narrative of t

imply meant the "Wonderful Crichton"-this

intained argument against all the Theologians or Divines, for the space of six weeks, from foure a clock in the morning until six in the evening, except an interval of two houres to refresh themselves, and take their repast. And at this were present the greatest part of the Lords of the Court, the Masters of Requests, Presidents, Counsellors, those of the Accompts, Secretaries, Advocates, and others: as also the Sheriffes of the said town, with the Physicians and Professors of the Canon-Law. Amongst which it is to be remarked, that the greatest part were stubborn jades, and in their opinions obstinate; but he took such course with them, that, for all their ergo

of 1486-87 offered to maintain at Rom

is where the poorer students used to lodge. It got its name because

luce eterua

o nel vico d

o invidio

bi

gito monstrari, et dicier: H

ncerning this incomparable Crichton, may be certified by above two thousand men yet living, who have known him

e and make me my lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not good-wife Keech, the butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us she had a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some; whereby I told thee they were ill for a green wound

Works,

Ibid.

italics

o different from the generality of his countrymen." A North Briton present declared himself descended from that prodigy of learning and accomplishment, and said he had family plate in his possession as vouc

ss charitable or more impartial critics are probably inclined to the opinion that the existence in that sovereign of a number of the above-mentioned virtues was as mythical as that of a good many of his "hundred and ten predecessors." So far as "comeliness" is

Works,

er suggesting "a standing library in custody of the minister of the parish," he adds, "with this pr

There is no need for an apology, for he has really done pretty well as it is. Mr Ruskin had once a vision of ten thousand school-inspectors assembled on Cader Idris. What horror would seize such a company, if they were treated as a class in elementary English, and the above passage were read out as an

me.... [Yet not to frighten the ladies.] I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gentl

rks, pp.

night. Now lately contrived and published, both for his own utilie, and that of all pregnant and ingenious Spirits. Credere quaerenti nonne haic justissima res est? Qui non plura cupit, quam ratio ipsa jubet. Englished thus, To grant him his dema

ew form: thus Hemise and Shemise. In letter-writing every person knows that male and female letters have a distinct character; they should therefore, he thought, be generally distinguished thus, Hepistle and Shepistle. And as there is the same marked difference in the writing of the two sexes, he proposed Penmanship and Penwomanship. Erroneous opinions in religion being promulgated in this country by women as well as men, the teachers of such false doctrine may be divided into Heresiarchs and Sheresiarchs, so that we should speak of the Heresy of the Quakers and the Sheresy of Joanna Southcote's people

rks, pp.

rks, pp.

Ibid.

and Legends

universal character, methodical, and easie to be written, yet intelligible in any language; so that if an Englishman write it in English, a Frenchman, Italian, Spaniard, Irish, Welsh, being scholars, yea, Grecian or Hebritian, s

his reasons. The style of the little volume bears no resemblance to that of our author, and this fact is of itself almost conclusive proof that Sir Thomas Urquhart had nothing to do with it. The Scottish knight could scarcely open his lips w

of the Greek tongue: "Vom Griechischen will ich gar nicht sprechen-ich ?rgere mich sonst zu viel. Die M?nche im Mittelalter ha

it is used much more frequently than in Greek. Faint traces of it in declension are to be found in Teutonic speech, though in conjugat