The Unspeakable Perk

r Caracuna City has the noisiest cathedral in the world; and still the graceful gray yacht Polly lay in the har

on, her thoughts were far upon a breeze-swept mountain-side. How, she wondered, had that dry and strange hermit of the wilds known the news before the city learned it? With her wonder came annoyance over her lost wager. The beetle man, she judged, would be co

is foolish little island," said she

he course of empire," her father suggested to her. "There's

give the old goose the satisfa

id Carroll. "Treason most foul! The cuartels ar

o some important shopping," announced Miss

Carroll wrapped himself in gloo

ently palled upon her sensibilities, and about twelve o'clock she decided upon a drive. Acc

?" inquired

one function of the day, whirled her swiftly along the two-mile drive of the Calvario Road, and landed her at the President's palace, half an hour after the reception was over. Supposing from the coachman's signs that she was expected to go in and vie

But, after three cars had passed her, she began to think longingly of the fourth. When it stopped at her signal, it was well filled. The most promising ingress appeared to be across

e had been nothing for it but the plebeian trolley. Accordingly, when he heard a foreign voice of feminine timbre and felt a light pressure against his knee, he only snorted. What he next felt against his knee was the impact of a ha

dodged smartly. The next moment, Herr von Plaanden felt his neck encircled by a clasp none the l

f Polly Brewster, addressing her defe

igned to be symbolic rather than utile, since at no point was it thicker than a man's finger. From a safe distance on the running-board, he flourished this, whoop

eserting his lady fair, if not precisely in the hour of greatest need, at least in a situation fraught with untoward possibilities. Indeed, it seemed as if these possibilities might promptly become actualities, for

rived one briefly ba

ed upon the generous lines of a gorilla's, and noting the

," said Cluff, turning to

," she said, with a

he agreed reassuringl

m MAD, clea

right. Now, if this was New York, I'

t him. Not parti

iend in need. "What

quick and scornful gl

Well, he made his get-away like a man

ough. He w

cort academically. "Now, me, I'm afraid of a fuzzy cat

't. And I don't kno

anded right in my shirt front. 'Take my place,' he says; 'I've got an engagement.' Well, I was just moving forward,

"Mr. Perkins scuttled away like one of his own

a friend of yours, accou

eclared, with unn

t. "Seems to me he did a pretty good job for you, and

idn't he st

h-heh-hash. But did I do it? I did not. You see, I got a little mining concession out here in the mountains, and if I was to get into any diplomatic mix-up and bring in the police, it'd be bad for

s man will make troub

-he'll be glad to forget it, when he sobers up. I'll forget it, too, and maybe, mi

noon, when the Brewster party were sitting about iced fruit drinks amid the dingy and soiled elegance of the Kast's one private p

get out of here I real

ed Miss Brewster. "I don't fi

ative, with a smiling bow. "But, much as your party adds to the landscape, I'm

plague?" asked

as I used it, was, in part, a figure of

th eyes alight. "Oh, do brew a revolutio

st. The Dutch blockade is, perhaps, only a beginning. However, it's sufficient to keep you

n Relations, is an old friend of my family,"

ere are other possibilities. Perhaps, Mr. Brewster," he continued, with

. "Polly would have it all out of me before I wa

tine business. If Dr. Pruyn comes

he get in?"

will help him all they can. But this Gov

sona grata?" a

some way. In fact, Stark, the public-health surgeon at Puerto del Norte, let fall a hint that makes m

s for the scholarly Pruyn whom I

plies and two boxes of cartridges, may have been scholarly; he certainly didn't exhibit any distaste for ad

n her eyes. "I'd make the cunningest little office assistant to busy old D

is, Americans won't be very popula

o, while Dr. Pruyn chases the terrified germ through th

will be very welcome, but none too comfortable. The pla

bother you dreadfu

rouble. Just this morning there was some kind of an affai

n-a very dainty and ornamental desig

Any one we

atic corps, returning from the President's matinee, spo

is happen?"

quiries are goi

led and accusing look from his

said, "no lady should go a

any city," said Sherwen. "Ju

Miss Brewster. "And I love sight-seeing alone. Th

palace," remarked Carrol

continued cheerfully. "Who lives in that sal

he was too experienced to put a direct query to his inamorata. What suspicion he had, he cherishe

wered in the bloom of creepers which flowed down from a balcony of the Kast, and occupied by th

" said Mr. Car

s things?" ret

Brewster family, I want to express our appreciatio

nothing," retu

eat deal. Mr. Brewster will

le lady is all right. I'd just as soon eat an ambassad

young lady, but she is not always well advised in going out unescorted. By th

n. But I don't think he

me to be the be

w cheerfully. "That fellow Perkins can tell you

to be proud of his part in the matt

asserted Cluff. "But I've run away

from sympathizing

so placidly that Carroll, somewhat at a loss

were needed, which is more than Mr. Perkins

uarter of an hour ago with young Raimonda. That's

ink it is due Mr. Perkins that some one sho

d Cluff, who was not without hum

onversing men. Raimonda looked around and greeted the newcomers pleasa

he said, neglecting to mention the nam

id: "How do you do?" Raimonda sent Cluff a glance of interrogation, to which that experimenta

o meet you, Mr. Perkins," began

nt. Such of the Perkins features as were not concealed

ou know to w

brown glasses rega

, struggling to keep his temper in the f

st idea," replie

morning when Miss Brewster

es

ran a

d

you run

eetly informed him, "on im

upon Carroll's mind that this wasn't g

oment. Do you know Mis

N

the truth?" asked th

swift to interpret physical indications, it seemed that Perkins

to run into something if he do

of trouble in Perkins'

he is. I don

Von Pl

you want

ing coolness, "if it was, I intend to slap

o nothing o

ge in the other's bearing. Th

id. Perhaps you will explai

sense somewhere about you. D

each me geography, or any

y's got to teach you! What do you suppose would be

ready. I will fight him wi

u, all right. But suppose yo

led Carroll. "I'm sure you could run awa

not be so ab

been brought up to believe that the American who will run from a fight, or who will not stand u

uly," returned Perkins wearily.

u had the traditions of a gentleman, you

und hunting trouble in a country that is full of it for forei

'm not a sane human being

ere, and you want to light matches to show what a hero you are. Traditions! Don't you talk to me about traditions! If you can serve your country or a woman better by running away t

rom that lady's nam

t I'll do almost anything just now to keep you peaceable, and

m," said the Southerner omin

ons in the place. When a man-particularly an obnoxious foreigner-lands there, they are rather more than likely to forget little incidentals like food and water. And if he should happen to be of a nation without diplom

" confirmed t

ing to frighten me-" bega

olish as to waste time that

u quite

lieve what I'm telling you. Unless you agree to keep your hands and tongue off Von

ze on the Sou

that?" he a

In the present state of political feeling, an assault by an American upon

u in wanting to break that gold-frilled geezer's

arroll recovered

e will be no trouble between Herr Von Plaanden and myself, of my s

heartily. "The rest of us

nden shall apologize to Miss Brewster to-morrow. It is not his first outbreak,

led," remarked Pe

ned upon hi

o doubt, now that you've shown

Cluff, his good-natured face clouding. "We're all

ll hope to meet you later, Mr.

. "My voice is still for peace. Meanti

eep that lady's na

hority. You're not her father, I suppo

glance, passing over his shoulder, followed a broad ray of light spreading from a second-story leaf-framed balcony of the hotel. There was a stir amid th

on was complete-

!" Unwittingly he spoke the name

tion would have been extreme. Perkins was recalled to a more serio

f your g

at

o thrash you within

the young Caracunan. "This i

is head drooped a little forward; his hands dropped between his knees; one foot-but Cluff, the athlete, was the only one to note this-edged backward an

itting down," he mut

set face

here, Mr. Carroll, I'm sorry that I laughed at your name. In fact, I didn't really laugh at

ut that doesn't settle the other account between us, when we meet

er to keep out

utherner in disgust. "Are

f fact, if you're interested to know, I wasn't particularly afraid of Von Plaan

tudied hi

erately. "You're crazy, I reckon-or else I am." And he took

teous bow to his comp

is seat. Cluff moved across, planting

rki

ded the sitt

if I should bat y

, w

uld you

he bewildered Perki

ees, wouldn't you, and

spread the space beneath the

s a good one-except fo

rt him. He'd have la

ould. Wh

ot cooled off, and then made a run for

U'RE a dry on

E

saying you'r

obli

gh off him to rile a she

wh

him

balcony where the vines had

y, "he's a friend o