Paint Smudges

tet

ie (Pa

•-•

lec

or to give attention to

or care that someo

•-•

belong to anywhere? Like your ex

orld is isolating itself from you. Runni

e but to watch as they close their doors

he pain is

about the meaning of your existence. Ask yourse

ed. I refuse to watch peop

esper

k at me. I want their attention even just a littl

planned. And things will never a

the alarm of my

e my room, I opened my eyes withou

y, the start

r sometime now. Some might be eager to find their friends and lover

the the vacation to stretch a little bit more. They might be unsat

g neither o

ess nor sadness.

n ti

curtains. The yellowish light stretched all the way nex

at the illuminated

little bit more and it will reach the bed and me. Yet it st

h

p with its gentle touch, not some alarm clock goi

y will turn f

ck,

ere and sat up, looking at the wooden door of

the door. Although her voice is muffled because

my m

ickly dispersed the thought. I pushed myself out from the bed

" I a

sounded impatient, like she always does. "Get

her realization. I stared at the door before turning

children will be late, and I, onc

stairs when I see them happily eating. My father, whom I rarely see smile in front of me, was smilling softly

er brother (who is 10 years older than me) about his achievements. Like my father, my b

of a perfect family. If not for the extra chair and plates

y doesn'

like I have no right to int

ophisticated mother, my overachiever br

o the point that they kept on ignoring me. If they did notice me,

with them, but unlike before, I

and ate as fast as I coul

re. Of course they will no

of envy in my heart, as they told them sweet words of encouragement. Th

erything they said sounds mockery to me, especially w

for the sake of saying it. He wasn't sincere. I can't even u

d in response

was only me and my parents left in the car. My mother was looking ou

ave force a conversation. Asking them

an't. I don

shut me

one sided. And they will onl

want to experie

y got off and walked away without looking back. I hun

very slowly. Like wai

school and the thing I was waiting for never came. I stopped at the e

me good luck. I know this would hap

puts on expectations are

heart, I ente

ended before

ony of bees and went to their

y eyes, how they smile happil

ybody made the

suffo

in, the feeling

from everyone. They are all walking away,

n again, pangi

feeling because I know how it hurts, but, know

ng my things and wordles

e paid attention to me.

hey always

east I h

d my face heated up. A small smile curved into

and juniors never really met, but by a sheer

where I cry all the pain after I broke down. It wasn't a place where you can call your sa

ll forestry

n my little sister was the top in her class and they went to som

p, I was already

and a bill to let me get

e me up and tried te

the house to go there. The house itself

d me a hand and wiped t

ss when our eyes met and I realized that h

become greedy f

y I am letting go of the only p

him, and, for a sheer luc

I sneaked a peek but I didn't see him inside. I tried asking his

hearing this. I was looking for

ss journey, I directl

sides the classses, so I have no inte

back to o

I am not in the mood for today and I

r a park, something

g but another couple flirting on the slide that is meant for t

fr

clutched my heart. My legs went mushy becaus

lking about. The girl looked at the guy with loving eyes

en, the guy leaned do

hold back flowed out freely a

attention and they

as really hopi

got that no deities n

My so-call