Simon the Jester

Kynnersley has despatched him to Berlin, on her own business, connected, I t

inquired; but if forcible objurgations in the vulgar tongue have any inner sign

for you cannot talk to a lady for her soul's good when her adorer is ga

d it seems not improbable that I shall se

he room, lit chiefly by the firelight, happily did not reveal its nerve-racking tastelessness.

d cheer her lonely hour. Politeness forbade my saying that I had come to do nothing of the sort. To my va

t urbane on his part to invit

u," she informed me. "He always carries a long, sha

little gentlema

e shopping. As I was getting into the cab a man insulted me, on account, I suppose, of my German name. Anastasius sprang at him like a wild beast, and I had to drag him

t you laugh a

mmit Hari-Kari on the hearthrug, he would whip out his knife and obey me. When you have a human soul at your mercy like that, it's a kind of sacrilege to

hs of human feeling I should never have suspected in this lazy panther of a woman, and although she openly avow

e education, too, of its kind was that of the vagabond Lola, who on her way from Dublin to Yokohama had more profitably employed her time than Lady Kynnersley su

the cry of the gondoliers. To my confusion be it spoken, I forgot all about Dale Kynnersley and my mission. The lazy voice and rich personality fa

is fifteenth century," she sai

hen maliciously I pointed to a horri

o, is ver

. And you

reature. I accepted the rebuk

do you hav

cated, with a comprehensive sweep of the arm, the Union Jack cushion, the little men mounting ladders inside bottles, the hen sitting on her

a separate cabin

s him more pleasure to see them as they are-and a

Present from Margate" kind of

er. Had I done anything yet with regard to Dale and the unmentionable woman? If I had told her that I had spent a most agreeable afternoon with the enchantress, she woul

blished telephonic communications. Through the medium of this diabolical engine of loquacit

ed hour that Madame Brandt's brougham was at the door. I went down and found the brougham open, as the day was fine

ecially when I recognised one of the starers as the eldest Drascombe-Prynne boy whose people in Paris are receiving Eleanor Faversham under their protection. A nice reputation I shall be

I forgot all about the little pain inside and the Fury with the abhorred shears, and talked a vast amount of nonsense which t

o would be as proud as Punch to exhibit his cats to an English Member of Parliament? Was it in order to further

door of a small house, the first-floor windows of which announced the tenancy of a maker of gymnastic appliances; and having kissed Madame Brandt's hand with aw

d properties. There were little five-barred gates, and trapezes, and tight-ropes, and spring-boards, and a trestle-table, all the metal work gleaming like silver. A heavy, uncouth German lad, whom the professor introd

gora, and four commonplace tabbies, who all sprang on to the table with military precision. Madame Brand began to caress them. I, wis

z pas-ne t

nderingly, from touching

the magnetic influence. I

u are t

that may be," she said, with a smile. "Woul

issi

m which a ferocious gigantic animal more like a woolly tiger than a tom-cat looked out

Professor Papadopoulos, bowing low. "But He

ll do," laugh

demoniac wrath, spat with malignant venom, and shot out its claws. If I had touched it my hand would have been torn to shreds. I have never seen a m

," said L

it up like a door-mat, and put it on her shoulder, where it forthwith began to purr like any harmless necessary cat and rub

ed round lazily. Then she hoisted it on to her shoulder again, and, rising, crossed the room and bowed to the level of the

, Carissima, are the Queen. Na

d between her and the evil beast. During her drive hither she had entered my own atmosphere. She had been t

ch the dwarf began forthwith to exhibit provoked in me but a polite counterfeit of enthusiasm. Lola Brandt had discounted my interest. Even his performance with the ferocious Persian lacked the diabolical certainty of Lola's han

flick of the whip. The dwarf did not touch it once with his hands. I applauded, howev

hearts; but Madame penetrates to and holds commune with their souls. And a cat's soul, monsieur, is a wonderful thing. Once it was divine-in ancient Egyp

a great divinity. And for yourself, who knows but what you may have been in

th staggering earnes

y, "I hope for the privilege of hearing some of your

pretending to take the little man

, "he would have stuc

lly. I was watching you. It is because

lk like that I'll

al condition of my heart? I asked her. She laughed her

ike my making fri

ow I didn't li

elt

like that," I remarked.

ined as well as I could. She touched th

o something besides loll about in a drawing-room and smoke cigarettes. It's all I can do. But it's

evidently well pleased with herself. My hostess was standing by the window when I was sho

who feeds himself into pink floridity so as to give confidence to his patients. In answer to his renewed inquiry as to my neglect, I remarked that a man condemned to be hanged doesn't seek interviews with the judge in order to learn how

latly refused to obey. I had my duties in London. He was so unsympathetic as to damn my duties. My duty was to live as long as possible, and my wintering in London would probably curtail my short life by two months. Then I turned on him and explained t

h to battle with the enchantress. All said and done, what was she but a bold-faced, strapping woman without an idea in her head save the enslavement of an impressionable boy several years her junior? It was preposterous that I, Simon de Gex, who had beguiled and fooled an electorate of thirty thousand hard-headed men into choosing me for their representati

ing-room. She threw down the penny novel she was reading

e come. I was gett

. It may be elegant in the mouth of a duchess and pathetic in that

ven it to yo

iti is dead. It is th

ibit unreasonable grief at the demise o

eparted. "I have been forced to ask the servants to lend me something to read. Have you

ess in its pages talked about ha

Since Dale has been away I've had

t. Adolphus was the Chow dog before mentioned, an accomplished animal who could mount guard

le greatly

do. You are ver

he by, how did you fi

a swift glanc

operation on me last year, and since then we've been great friends. Dale and some sort of baby boy were dining there, too, and afterwards, in the

lic dinner. He's a friend of the

dear!" s

ny of Dale's fr

"It's rather lonesome." T

of no one else. He makes a kind of god of you. I felt I was going

listens to much

," I re

ve me the idea somehow by calling you a 'splendid chap.' You see, I couldn't think o

"not to come up to you

. "It was I that was stupid. And I don't hate you at all. You can

think that? We agreed to ar

," she said, lighting it, and pausing to inhale the first two or three puffs of smok

o the fire. She was begi

s I'm a dreadful creature. I'm like a cat in many ways. I'm suspicious of strangers, especially strangers of your class, and I sniff and sn

enge at me. Now, it is disconcerting to a man to have a woman leap at his throat and ask him whethe

tly that I hoped I could

think me a dr

andt," I replied, "that I

er cushions. "I should like to be for Dale's sake.

ur of taking me so far into your confidence," I added, playing what I considered to be

she looked involuntaril

husband alread

or publication; and as the latter seem to make it a point of honour

," I said, "but you

it into

" sa

be friends, perhaps you had better know. Somehow I don't like tal

he story. If it had not been told in the twilight hour by a woman with a caressing

irst taken Marseilles captive with the prodigiosities of her horse Sultan. His proposals of manifold unsanctified delights met with unqualified reje

had no intention whatever of acknowledging her openly as his wife. Hence many tears. Moreover, he had little beyond his pay and his gambling debts, instead of the comfortable little fortune that would have assured her social position. Now, officers in the French Army who marry ladies with performing horses are not usually guided by reason; and Captain Vauvenarde seems to have been the most unreasonable being in the world. It was beneath t

oked at it, she would accede to his desire. Besides, he had the husband's right-a powerful privilege in France. She pointed out that he could only exercise it by declaring her to be his wife. Relations were strained. They led sepa

lly on with your pro

n. Then my father died and left me pretty well off, and I

here to turn on the light and draw the flaring chintz curtains. I rose, too, so as to aid her. Suddenly as we met, by the window, she laid both her h

e, be my frien

om the depths of the woman's nature. It caused som

lly beautiful. Her eyes swam in an adorable moisture and grew very human and appealing. In

randt," said I, "

ived alone, alone, alone all the

e for him s

ed slightly. "Who else in the

to remark that compromising the boy's future

nd if I do what I've never done before for any man-become h

dy," said I, "that Captain V

've lost sight of

ining my sanity by degrees, "that Capt

ickly. "What

o chance as yet of re

r face, and sat down on the

but you and I are strong people and needn't fear uttering it. Don't you

lad to see she was feminine enough

"I can't live this awful lonely life m

aining crocodiles to sit up and beg; but an idea which advanced thinkers

you have assumed the qualifications imposed

t under

ublic. He would have no pos

t I should go back to m

, feeling migh

thought it best to let her ponder. As a general rule, people will do anything in the world rather than think; so, when one sees a human b

calm, mysterious beauty, the development of a former idea took the shape of an inspiratio

tion, and I should be the Deputy Providence bringing happiness to six human beings-Lola Brandt, Captain Vauvenarde, Lady Kynner

gard Simon de Gex as their mythical progenitor. It might add to the gaiety of regiments and the edification of parliaments. A

silence. She did not

eeling that you

promotion to the role of Deputy Providenc

at you've said for a day or tw

ngly,"

ou won

ha

know yo

id, guessing. "No

s to me in a very noble gesture. I

at me with

t man I have eve

om door my natural modesty revolted. I slapped my thigh impatiently with what I thought were my gloves. They made so little sound that I found there was

yours?" s

ine? The ridiculous question worri