Simon the Jester

It has also become common knowledge that I am resigning my seat in Parliament on account of ill-health. That is the reason rightly assigned by my acquaintances for the rupture

me with anxious eyes as if I were one of their children sickening for chicken-pox. They upbraid me for leaving them in ignorance, and in hushed voices inquire as to my symptoms. They both came th

smile, I'll sit upon the he

and from little girls who have inveigled me out to lunch for the purpose of confiding to me their love affairs. I could set up as a general practitioner of medicine on the advice that is given me. I am recommended cod-liver oil, lung tonic, electric massage, abdominal belts, warm water, mud baths, Sandow's treatment, and every patent medicament save rat poison. I am urge

human kindness have to be answered. Dale is not here. I have to sit dow

Why had I not consulted her friend, Sir Joshua Oldfield? She filled up my chair with cushions (which, like most men, I find stuffy and comfortless), and if I had given her the slightest encouragement, would have stuck my feet in hot mustard and water

"my bronchial tubes and lungs ar

t conclude that I was goi

othering way, showing me a fresh side of her

oking, aren't you?

I adore it. Ho

ssed,"

rench call a vr

to hear it

t your class hated

's granary of the virtues. But for God's

" she

o print it would ruin my

towards me in her slow

utiful thing you always t

lain sewing I believe they call it-from be

've stuffed away my work when I heard you coming

ass of linen or tulle or

," I remarked, "but at present it

des, little jokes are made to be laughed at, and I like women who laugh at them. There was a brief silence. I smoked and made Adolph

ade up

vidently thinking me a fool, immediately snuggled him

?" sa

sband, if he can be found, and,

e women. She smiled rather

two gigan

ave been slain by th

in Vauvenarde

parrow in London. His whereabouts could be obtained

fully. "I see, it isn't difficult to trace him. I

is t

ive him up and be left alone. As long as I care for him, I swear to God, I won't!" she said, in her low, rich voice-and I saw by her face that she was a woman of her word. "Besides, he w

ola Brandt, whom I have only met three or four time

hought it was fo

ould, being a ma

he wise man always leaves her herself to supply the answer. Doubtles

ared necessary. I admired the beautiful curves of her neck and shoulders as she bent o

now, as he left me-not I him. Anyhow, I'm ready to do it. If it can be managed, I'll cut myself adrift suddenly from Dale. It will be more merciful to him. A man can bear a sudd

ep Dale ignorant of the danger he is running in keeping up a

me, then I'll tell Dale everything, and you can say what you like to him. He'll be ab

Bohemia from off her feet, and instead of standing at the threshold like a disconsolate Peri, she would enter as a right the Paradise of Philistia which she craved; how her life would be one continual tea-party, and how, as her husband had dou

as I choose. I don't say it very often, but

uivalents in Fren

coming out with a sacre nom de

ting 'damn' in

ame all the world over. I do try to talk like a lady-at lea

time you look in

uch things to me if you don't mean them. I

How many of my fair friends in Mayfair and Belgravia would have made their drawing-room

over the arm of the chair, her chin

Dale can't understand it. He wa

etuous. I am a battered old philo

"You hurt me," she said. "You'll soon

eut, Dieu le ve

er side, and in front of the leaping flames, a great, powerful, sinuous creature of sweeping curves, clad in a clinging brown dress, her head crowned with superb bronze hair, two warm arms bare to the elbow, at which the sleeve ended in coffee-coloured lace falling over the side of

my mind a commonplace, vulgar, good-natur

-Adamite splendour or an ancestral catamount, I make no attempt to determine. At any rate, she is too grand a creature to fritter her life away on a stat

her eyes fascinated me, and caused me to

nder-headed. I make no pretensions to understand her, but as I am neither her lover nor her husband it does not matter. She says nothing diabo

rves of volition. She was willing me to live. I was a puppet in her hands like the wild tom-cat. At that moment I declare I could have purred and rubbed my head against her knee. I would have done anything s

ther until I backed myself out at the door by way of leave-taking-had not Anticlimax arrived in

ssed his lady's hand. Then he rose a

e rencontrer den gnad

him that it was an honour always to meet so renowned a prof

ot ask me. It is a tragedy fro

burst into tears, which coursed down his cheeks and moustach

ad?" aske

vented me from slaying him on the spot. But poor Santa Bianca! My gentle and acc

an's neck and patted him like a child, wh

, and wound up by calling down the most ingeniously complicated and passio

Anastasius. Did I not lose

f four feet and dashed away his tears wit

fliction. He turned to me and bade me mark her serene nobility. It was a model and an exam

carissima!" he c

rom the black gloves which he obviously wore out of respect for the d

ve melancholy, "let us change the conversation. You are a great statesman.

upon his stool and regarde

e political clubs, "has dreams of an empire beyond her frontiers, and with a view to c

his head sagaciously,

l remember it. I am a Greek, Monsieur, and the G

e days of Xeno

laimed our hostess. "Where did you g

ed, passed his hand ov

ate of the battle of Actium. But pressure of weightier concerns has driven my erudition from me. Par

ding her with the keen solicitude of a family physici

f living with my

noying you?" he asked wi

'm tired of living alone. I

t to know w

unicate with hi

rose, struck an attitude

s of the earth, and will bring him

asius," said Lola gently; "but

sed his hand

in His keeping. I have also m

from her cushions, showi

thing so mad, Anast

I have the honour to salute you!"-he bowed over her hand and kissed it. "Monsieur." He

dden that it too

s, so I stopped. Lola Brandt broke i

asius's way,"

leave his cats and start on a wild-goose

is, but I sh

ill you tell me why you made so ho

alkan chancery to bring the lady to my way of thinking, and here was

im good. And why shouldn't I tell him? He's a dear old friend, and in his way was so good to me when I was unhappy. He knows all about my married life. You may thin

rt, she curled herself out of her chair on to the hear

me, are you?" she asked

d assisted her to rise. I was n

ughed. Indeed my wrat

e said. Her breath fanned my cheek. It was arom

your husband as soon

hink so?"

ikes me I had better g

arted.

nd I shall go on writing a million letters a day if I stay here, which will kill me off in no time with brain fag and writer'

made an exit as magnificent as that