The Window-Gazer
en alone. His hostess did not honor him with her company, nor did her fath
the drops until his brain felt soggy and he began to speculate upon what Aunt Caroline would think of fried eggs for luncheon. He wondered why there were no special dishes for special meals in Li Ho's domestic calendar; why
she looked even younger than twenty. But he had to confess that she never acted like it. At least she did not act as he had believed girls of twenty are accustomed to act. Very differently indeed.... One small drop-two medium-sized-oh, bother the drops! Where was she, anyway? Di
bought it by the thousand thousand? Why, the thing was dead-a dead book, than which there is nothing deader. This reflection gave him something to think of for a while. Instead of counting drops he amused himself by strolling back through the years, a critica
l never do, I will write about people and not about things. Things change always;
the Spences are a prideful race. Desire (he decided it didn't matter if he called her Desire to himself, she was such a child) was wearing-an old tweed coat and was carrying wood. She w
r, revelling in its bloomy wetness; strong and fit in muscle and nerve, carrying wood, getting his head soaked, doing all the foolish things whic
y youth. The causes of that lay far behind the war. Had he not refused himself to youth when youth had called? Had he not shut himself behind study doors while Spring crept in at the window? The war had come and dragged him out. Across his quie
ess. The envy had become acute irritation by the time the wood was stacked and the
n?" asked Des
temp
r tea. I'll s
rst. You must be wet through. Do yo
ifted. "That's silly,
t the room. "And my hair," she added as if by an afterthought. "I'll dry it presently. But I don't wonder you're cross. The fire is almost out. We'll have something to eat when the kettle boils. Father's gone up trail. He probably w
sor moved
ow," he said, "and the
't do
ry w
tch it blaze. Her tone was ruminative. "There's no real sense in that, you know. Why shouldn't I carry wood wh
ofessor Spence was wondering
you said?" he a
with wonder, amounting almost
article in an old Sociological Review-a copy left here by a man whom father-well, we needn'
it would be Trotter,"
n her heels, regarding
you know," she said. "All the
at I know you would only know
s, even if you don't know anything, you have glimpses of all sorts of wonderful
an't car
te unself-consciousness which characterized her, was proceeding to unpin and dry her hair. Spence had not seen it undone before and wa
ence, "there is nothing like the fascinatio
to allow her slanting brows t
ought to have made myself a man first and a student a
as she considered mos
her down
with you, is there? Nothin
N
an begin again. A
thirty
you have no
old. He decided to change the subject. But there was no immediate hurry. It was pleasant to lie there in the firelight w
me a penny for my thought
ou thinking
you a penny
shook h
ing. I was thinking what a pity it is
te nu
n't a nurse's duties I was thinking of, but a patient's privileges. You
you want to call m
than I should dare to,-yes. It
ner of the name indifferently. "It sounds mor
o tactfully, too! Not for the first time did it occur to our psychologist that tact
dly," he said, "that I sh
irl n
you g
rse I a
st in no time. And when I can
ecome used to her ungirlish taciturnity. It always excited him. The women he had known, especially the younger women, had all been chatterers. They
me to go?" he
was thoughtful. "But I know you can
One can make t
ow
will
t?" He was astonished at the
lieve it. I'll pro
ow
stay
he was
enough. The bargain that was made with your father was a straight, fair business arrangement. I have no scruples about requiring him to carry out his part of it The trouble was that it seemed as if insist
not been
kind. As for the rest of it-I mention
d see her eyes, intent, through
services of a secretary and explained tha
did he say
ed to leave the
that
ically
He does not want you here. Neither you nor anyone else. The secretarial work you offer would be-I can't tell you exactly what it would
annot go back o
d money? That," bitterly
to stand on. And you, too. You ha
myself independent. Several times I have secured office positions in
ow
into it." There was wea
reason doe
ace is in her father's
at affection has any
Affection is something of which one knows by instinct, don't you think? Even Li Ho-I kno
ife for a y
been m
all comment. She had given him this tiny glimpse and quite evidently inte
bsolutely decline my friendship?" If she
t indifference. "Friendship is impossible for me. I thought you would see-and go away. Nothing that you can do would be any real help. I have tried before t
nt, looking
really free," s
ry young sitting there with her unbound hair
urious I will tell you what I am. When I was younger and we lived in towns I used to wander off by myself down the main streets to gaze in the windows. I never went into any of the
like the beating of caged w
ou are mistaken," he went on finally. "Life isn't for sale anywhere. Life is inside, n
aid Desir
ry young! Spence fel
for instance
k back her ha
leisure, books,
ence, whimsically. "But otherwise your wants are fairly comprehens
th-and I don
ssor, still fatherly indulgent. But
why I have never considered marriage as a possible way out? Well,
ere with a face of sick distaste. The professor's mood of indulgent
quickly as it had come. The girl's face
he said. "The kettle