Anne Severn and the Fieldings
the Fieldings. This time it wa
house five minutes be
rol
y said, "her
n when he saw her there in her black frock; and somehow she h
that morning, the day after the funeral. He w
bottom where the goldfish were. It was Jerrold's father who held her hand and talked to her. He had
er the gold
ber ever
le girl before, and they
r tight so that she shouldn't tumble in. She remembered the big grey and yellow house with its nine ball-topped gables; and the lawn, shut in by
the net to please little Colin. She could see him fling back his head and laugh as Colin ran stumbling, waving h
about her. His voice
get on with your boys."
here.) "Ten's an awkwar
young for Elio
en. Eliot, the clever one, was very big
s father answering
. Jerry'll look af
Ade
." (Only somehow he made it
s. Fielding. J
tly and look at the goldfish; but no, not to play. When she thought of her dead mother she was afraid to tell them that she didn't want to go and look at the goldfish. It was as if she
er. Strange and exciting, his boy's voice rang through her sadness; it made her tu
and then the fat goldfish came nosing along, orange, with silver patches, shining, making the water light rou
but somehow they were not so f
spikes all over them. Each carried a tiny gold star at its tip. Thick, cold juice
. She tried t
ecrop. Suddenly
d with the crushed flesh of the stonecrop; her mother stooped and wiped them with her pockethandk
heavy that it kept her from crying; sadness t
wn, quietly, and the day
like-like a
s small daughter of you
said Mr
iff jerk, as if it choke
gstones of the terrace
y beautiful. She lay on her side, heaved up on one elbow. Under her thin white gown you coul
y, holding her little body away from t
of this shrinking. She
her si
she said. "Cl
r a minute, and then stiffen and shrink
the terrace. He leaned over a book: Animal Biology. He was absorbed in
to the back of Anne's neck, where the short curls, black as her frock, sprang out in a thick bunch. The fingers stirred among the roots of Anne's hair, st
thrilling through the back of her neck, how it made her heart beat. Mrs. Fielding's fingers didn't thrill you, they were bl
r to her. Her father had told her she was going to t
ve your head a
idn't
little neck and turning first one ear and than the other
Not-lik
e this. You do
reme
and started up. The beautiful, wilful woman
ittle thing, aren
. She shook her head fie
d after him. They were looking at her. Eliot had ra
u, mater," he said,
say things-as if nobody but yourself had any
h wild animal eyes that
rrold who
u like to see my
the
race, down the steps at the corner and up the drive to the
saying, "I've sense enough to r
rs there was alway
i
with dignity, still smiling. It was a smile of gre
id. "You might move the cushions
about his mother was her dexterity in getting out. She never lost her temper, and never replied to a
happy about her. His father, or Anne's father, could have told him that all her ideas were simple as feelings and impromptu. Impulse moved her, one moment, to seize on the faithful, defiant little heart of Anne, the
o be cool again! T
ling as he did it, for he knew that when his mother was re
supple animal, she turned and se
s the lawn, Anne's father came towa
h bronze. She liked his lean, eager, deerhound's face, ready to start off, sniffing the trail. A little strained, leashed now,
r's; her little nose was still soft and vague; you couldn't tell what she would be like in five y
ed lids, under dark eyebrows; of the innocent white nose; of the whole soft, milk-white face. Even her sleek, dark hair smiled, shi
wall, observed her and thought, "The mater'
ember of the Legislative Council and a widower ought not t
oracic cavity of the rabbit and dissect away the thymous gland and other tiss
would show him
He's a butterfly
nose that went in and out, pushing against her mouth, in a delicate palpitation. He was white, with black ears and a black
weet," s
"He is sweet." Colin had a habit of repeating what yo
e felt the rabbit's heart beat sharp and quick agai
r heart swelled and shook
s he tre
ed. Don't touc
e put his hands in his pockets to keep them out of temptatio
iresomely blue, blue all the time, like his mother's, but secretly and surprisingly blue, a blue that flashed at you and hid again, moving queerly in the set squareness of his face, presenting at every turn a different Jerrold. He had a pleasing straight up and down nose, his on
er in his white flannel
t her, just as h
ike him?"
? Co
Ben
ove
o you if you'd l
own? T
the
you wan
d like you t
Jer
ng her Benjy because
e, and the fawn, and
hall lo
u must be careful not to touch his stom
is stomach he'll die,"
ever so
g with his hind legs on the floor of the shed, startling the doe
half of them will be yours,
O
y. She loved the rabbit, she loved little Colin. A
, when she thought of her dead mother, she lay
s to dine late that evening, sitting besid
he middle for a knob. He was going to keep it for ever. He had no candl
he Manor was furn
d. They were waiting there for Mrs. Fielding who was always a little late.
her neck and hung between her breasts. Roll above roll of hair jutted out at the back of her head; across it, the foremost curl rose like a comb, shining. Her eyes, intensely blue in her milk-white face, sparkled between two dark w
weet flower smell that drifted (not lavender, not lavender). She stood at the foot of
eautiful. You
ng stopped
, you littl
r breast, crushed down into the bed of the flower scent. An
d Adeline. "At l
have anything about her, even a cat
tting a light in. When Anne saw the light coming she shut her eyes and burrowed under the blankets, she knew it was Auntie Adeli
of drawers, she would feel her hands drawing back the blankets and her face bending down over her.
Adeline's. Somebody else whispered "She's asleep." That was Jerrold. Jerrold. She felt hi
said Aunt Adeline. "She's s
hat was the schoolroom now, and found Eliot there, examining
kid. Trying to go on as if she was Anne's mother. You can
wasn't listening, abso
's got to
to," said Eliot
l get Dad to. He
i
it off till Adeline gave him his chance. He fou
know what to do a
ch c
affection. It's pretty hard if I'm to house and feed the little thing and look after her like a mothe
r A
r to somebody else's child who doesn't
t try
't t
ther to her. That's wh
d in the doorway. He was retreating before their
u. Here's Robert telling me
ng because she thinks Anne
down, con
s time,"
im, smiling und
to lov
e you. She-she's so d
elfry. Robert left them to finish a
to her. I have tried, John; but
bert's right. Don't-don
am I t
e. A heavenly apparition. An impo
e's going to hol
s long as she remembe
ct to Robert bein
etter father than I a
lication and was hurt, unreasonably. He
. I've had to choose between the Government of India and my daughter. You'll observe that I don
' me? If I
time. Give
smiling d
k I'm unr
in the world. F
dn't love your little
She's fighting you now. She wouldn't fight if she didn't f
ed at th
I must go
hold out against me, p
ys remember that I j
ould be always Anne's mother, his wife would be alwa
characteristic of John that when he had to choose between his wife and his Government, he had not chosen Alice. He must have had adventures out in India,
n supper time and bed-time. He took her on his knee, and she snuggled there, rubbing her head against
't you think you can
ked at him with candid eyes. "I do
love her
if she wou
ry
like Mu
He knew it, but he
ou see, her trying. It only m
want to thi
myself, and Auntie Adeline
wfully kind to
ful
tn't hurt he
I didn't
n't if you
hurt her feelings,
N
ep on thinking about Mummy. I wan
, Anne,
der, turning on its tra
Auntie Adel
he owned that he had
n her such a long time;
ou marrie
es
I love Uncle Robert an
rol
line, "I know who'll take
? Ro
Jer
e had sailed for
*
i
d was
it out of the window just in time. He put the chain on Billy, the sheep-dog, when he
uting with laughter while Sandy, the Aberdeen, jumped on him, growling
waited for Jerry to get up and tak
d his mother laughed too,
" she said. "It's the
stopped it. She st
to Wyck, Jerry, you
ar
very red. He looked mour
frigh
't, Mo
arp to come and look at Pussy's
," said Jer
well has,"
ot
cause you don't like
himself. He's
told, Jerry. It's d
owardice, i
father, "it isn't
l have to get over it. You go on as if no
he vet, had had to come and give him chloroform. That was why Jerrold was afraid of Yearp. When he saw him he saw
of the men," his
him, Robert. He's
go and get it over. You can'
ldn't let Anne go with him. He said he
he doesn't want to think of
lambing time and the cows at their calving. And he spent half the midsummer holidays reading Animal Biology and drawing diagrams of frogs' hearts and pigeons' brains. He said he wasn't going to Oxford or Cambrid
understand. He took her into the woods to look for squirrels; he showed her the wildflowers and told her all their
cope they saw inside it a thing like a green egg. Every day they watched it; it put out two green horns, and a ridge grew down
ut him up and see what he was made of. But Eliot didn't. He said Benjy was sacred. That was because he knew they loved him. An
as hard that Eliot couldn't be ni
t. Anne couldn't think what she meant till Jerrold told her she was the only kid that Eliot had e
up with God and music and the deaths of animals, and sunsets and all sorrowful and beautiful and mysterious things.
Eliot any minute if sh
rold, all the time,
ake her out riding with him over the estate that stretched from Wyck across the valley of the Speed and beyond it for miles over the hills. And he would show her the reaping ma
have a farm, with horses and co
you lik
uld. Only it can't happ
't want h
t he was a little boy who cried sometimes and was afraid of ghosts. Two masters came out from Cheltenham twice a week to teach him. Eliot said Colin would be a professional when he grew up, but his mother said he should be nothing of the sort
d stood beside him and looked on and said, "Clever Col-Col. Isn't he a w
child's legs and arms he tried to do the things that Jerrold did. They told him he would have to wait
Jerrold and Anne had tried to sneak out when Colin wasn't looking; but he had seen them and came running after them down the field, calling to them to le
said, "we migh
t him,"
can't w
said Coli
ired he'll be sick in the night
mouth
ol, you're coming." Je
"if he crumples up
" said
I," sa
olin "shall carr
You're simple ruining that kid. He thinks he can come butting into everything. Here's the whole a
n't, J
. It was when they started to walk back that his legs betrayed him, slackening first, then running, because running was easier than walking, for a change. The
oft hips. Colin's body slipped every minute and had to be jerked up again;
, staggered and stum
liot. He forbore, nobly
he Speed, past Hayes Mill, through Lower Speed, Upper Speed, and up the fields to
Col-Col! What have yo
re it li
t Colin in the schoolro
ol-Col will be a perfec
ave to pa
e and
e fools enough to keep
rrold bitterly, "you
ter. They were all old enough. And Jerrold said it was his fault, not Eliot's, and Anne said it was hers, too. And Adeline declared that it was all their faults and she would have to speak to the
t Col-Col was
of glassy rain. Shining spears of rain dashed themselves against the west windows. Jets of rain rose up, whirling an
unded invisible bodies in the air. It screamed
ed the c
ormed up and down the passages. The house was filled
fa in the library. El
little plaintive when
noise you children are mak
elf on her. "Tired
ess still worked in him. It s
play at nex
play at next?
for goodness sake,
inkney. Very quiet as they watched Pinkney's innocent approach. The sponge caught
ight. "Oh Jerry, did y
liot. But Eliot couldn't see that it was
vant and can't d
at," said Jerrold. (It
o bowl to me and l
that in a
ll have a
o be content with begging his pardon, which he gave, as he said, "freely." Ye
d-time that Eliot tol
he said, "that Pinkn
hen you're excited, really excited, something awful's bound to hap
ing," said Eliot. "Y
uld. If we could go to him and tell him
only bother the poor chap. Besid
led the sponge. W
had done it together. The pain of her sin had sweetness in it since she shared it with Jerry. Jerry's arm was round her
done it, Anne, if
o much if we hadn'
elp that. And it was
we could
us to go talking to h
hate
they could write. That wouldn't hurt him. Jerry fetched
We wouldn't have done it if we
s tr
SEV
ren't to a
LD FI
ter Jerrold kno
re you
ith him at the door in
kney. He says we aren't to worry. He knew
he cr
the same, it'll be a l
i
's Jer
the flagged path below, and made yearning faces at him, doing her best, at this last moment, to destroy his morale. Colin sat behind him by Jerrold's place,
end of th
might see wher
from the gallery. At the turn they stopped and looked at each other, and suddenly he had
she thought; "and I who told he
ther's large embrace, broke from it, and climbed into the dogcart. The mare
trees narrowed on them, till the dogcart swung out
othing to her. Today she could h
ding beside her. They moved suddenly
i
ranch brushed backwards and forwards, it tapped on the
d dreadful in the moonlight, covere
oom from Anne's. The doors sto
and Anne stood beside him in her white nightgown. Her hair rose in a black ru
frightene
ightened, but I think t
ing. Only
in Jerry
o, Co
he said, "
ow you see. Now you
t when Jerrold's there. The ghosts never c
nne still sat on Jerrold's bed with her knees dra
ret," Colin said. "O
won
y and
y and
t person in the whole world. When I
ouldn'
when I'm gro
ven then. Jerrold can't
n't c
what he can't if you
and playing I shal
. You won't
sha
e him. I don't want anybody else to
olin, "I shal
i
little thing had left off pretending to be asleep. She
y shut, slack on her ey
, the little lamb. B
en a sound stopped he
e-are you
othes. On Anne's white cheek the black eyelashes were parted
wn, her face aga
t darling?
shi
loved me. You don't,
o. Really
a kiss. The
ght, deep kiss that
new by Anne's surrender that, t
n't k
s it Jerry? Do
crying broke out ag
d let the storm beat itse
him more than I
he comes back. And I s
in, darling. You