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Anne Severn and the Fieldings

Chapter 10 JERROLD

Word Count: 4347    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

nineteen-sixteen, J

d ever been; but he refused, all the time, to believe that the Allies would lose it; he refused from moment to moment to believe that they could be beaten in any single action; he denied the possibility of disaster to his own men. Disaster to himself-possibly; probably, in theory; but not in practice. Not when he turned back in the rain of the enemy's fire to find his captain who had dropped wounded among the dead, when he swung him over his shoulder an

mother, three days in Yorkshire with the Durhams, and the rest of his time at Upper Speed with Anne and Colin

, and the girl woman he had found in her room at dawn. He tried to join on to her the image of the Anne that Eliot wrote to him about, who had gone out to the war and come back

o make himself think that Anne had never cared for him, because he d

ght be why the Durhams had asked him to stay with them as soon as he had leave. If that was so, he wasn't sure whether he ought to stay with them, seeing that he didn't care for

d known she cared; but that, again, was hardly his fault since he didn't know. You don't see these things unless you're on the lookout for them, and you're not on

got over it. There would be somebody else now. Perha

old realised that

see his mother. And before he saw his mo

r, Jerrold sat in the drawing-room of the house in Montpelier S

n's wife doi

ving a field ambula

he looking a

n Queenie's l

des w

, I don't suppose she'll

er w

Colin's livin

shing to his heart, betraying him. His

t mean to

lame them, poor darlings

it) "you don't know-you can

are; there they've been for the last five months, living together at the Farm, absolutely alone. Anne won't leave him. She won't have an

s face with his ha

She's brought Colin round out of the most appalling state. We've no business to complain of a situation we're all benefitting by. Some people can do these things and yo

llow that Anne and Colin were lovers because his moth

lling everybody,

do you think I'm made

y told you because I th

want to put

o. But it would

f it was true. P

help hoping that it is. I did so want Anne to marry Colin-really he's onl

re going ahead. You

u can only

m I to know? I

can't a

and say, "Are you Anne's lover?" He couldn't

," said Adeline, "they'd h

true, do you imagi

down there last week and saw them. He can't bear her

d A

Would she stick down there, with everybody watching them and thinking

ld she-w

atters her mind jumped to meet yours halfw

ouldn't, supposing she cared

wn," he said,

e is. He'd feel then that he ought to leave her for fear of compromising her. And if he leaves her he'll be as bad as eve

s

If they're innocent we must leave them

hey'r

ust leave t

But he was not in

i

e next day; he couldn't

at being so, the chances were that Colin cared for her. In these matters his mother was not such a fool as to be utterly mistaken. On every account, therefore, he must be prepar

hair tied in an immense black bow, a girl too big for kisses. A girl sitting in her room between her white bed and the window with a little black cat in her arms. Her platted hair lay in a thick black rope down her back. He remembered how he had kissed her; he rememb

e him with them; Colin's hands playing; Colin's voice singing Lord Rendal. He tried to think of Qu

towards him along the platform. Their eyes looked for eac

rold

thick voice deep

one into the other

n too much for him. He might have cried or something ... You mus

t he's

now. He looks after the lambs and the chickens and

reed that

ched the Man

notice if he c

l himself, but when he saw Jerrold coming up the path he broke down in a br

t them t

t go,

en she would have left t

Jerrold to you

you to go, do

her

ed to persuade himself that what his mother had told him was n

n't help seeing it at every turn: in Anne's face, in the way she looked at Colin, the way she spoke to him; in her kindness to him, her tender, quiet absorption. In the way Colin's

t were true

ppened to so many people since the war that he couldn't deny its likelihood. There was only one thing that could have made it impossible-if Anne had cared for him. And what reason had he to suppose she cared? After six years? After he had told he

ought: Why not, if she loved him, if she wanted to make him happy? How could he tell what An

happened before the war, before Colin's marriage, the things they had done together. They talked about the farm and A

on after his first wife's death; old Sutton who wouldn't die and let Anne have hi

Nanna," Je

what she thinks

er what she thin

laughed; and Jerrold

ight was over he

age of thirteen, holding a puppy in his arms. He had given it to Anne on the last day of the midsummer holidays, nineteen hundred. Also he found a pai

him, "Do you mind leav

leep if i

k and sat there under the trees. Up the fields on the opposite rise they could see the grey wa

ly aware of her as she turned her head round

ight, short jerks; her nerves quivered. She wondered whether he could feel their quivering, whether he could hear her jerking breath, wh

t used to flash their blue so gayly, to rest so lightly, were fixed now, dark and heavy with memory. They had seen too much. They would never lose that dark

uddenly, "did you have

I dare say I

you h

conceive how I

it seems s

on't mea

e forg

mean that

le

nt to know about Colin

, he

w b

e. He's like that now, only he's a bit better. He doesn't scream now.... All the time he kept on worrying about you. He only told me that the other day. He seemed to think

suppose I minded more than the other chaps. If anything h

I told him. I knew

olin. He knew he wouldn't. He

him if it hadn't been for Queenie. She hunted and hounded

Queeni

ks herself, but she wants to ma

like Q

uch since she went herself; I do mind her leaving him.

he woman must be. What on

and made him wretched. And now he's afraid for his life of her. I b

he does c

e doesn't want to go. She left him to me to look after and I mean to stick to him

ou've had a v

ard as yo

s if she contemplated some happy secret

unny of me to be liv

lau

ht. You always had pluc

ke pluck to st

al p

t even

ys fond of him

ut as far as

her strange

You see, he wants me more than an

that. But he always d

e! How abou

suppose he wanted

want her now

t ask me to

you to pity him. I'd

g you, any more than I shoul

riticise as mu

ake no difference. I should know

heaps of wrong thing

s." "Here's Co

ok for them. He could

ton's Farm to say good-

y Su

k and would not come back, about the marvel of Sutton's living on thr

hink it's a pity she should be livin' a

ght, Nanny. You

ays one to go her own way and

ectly sure it is

Colin'd a done without her. But it do make people tal

listen

nything to me I tell 'em straight they'd oughter be

nny, you give it

done to the innocent. There's Mr. and Mrs. Kimber

abou

ees to the garden and Mrs. Kimber she cooks and that. And Kimber-that's my 'usband's cousin-'

do you

says Kimber must choose between 'em. And Kimber, 'e says 'e'd have minded what parson said if it had a bin a church matter or such like

ber. What a b

a shame to

give him a bigger

f you would, it'd be a

it, the way they've

retty decent of them. I

go

I shouldn't have spoken. And if there's anything I can do for Miss Anne I'll d

Nanny. I tell you it'

n't. No, nor think it. You can t

old Nanny. She

i

to him to save each other. In any case, his mother had made it clear to him that as long as Anne had to look after Colin he couldn't ask them. If they were innoce

ld divorce Colin and he would marry Anne. So far as Jerrold could

nothing he could do now bu

hear about Anne and Colin all over again, he went down

e and Maisie were engaged; and before t

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